DON’T START TO MOLD

This post I cannot claim entire credit for. In fact, it was a great collaboration of ideas. My friend came up to visit from out of town and within five minutes of sitting down together we were coming up with great ideas to assist people in living more positive and rewarding lives. Interestingly enough these ideas were not solely generated by things we have read or learned in some random seminar, but by our own life experiences.

Allow me to let you in on a little of our conversation. Mold, mildew two words that seldom if ever garner a positive response. How do these conditions exist? Moisture is trapped on a surface and is not allowed to evaporate or escape. Eventually mold and mildew begin to form. Once they take hold they grow and spread rapidly. Unless the area is treated with a special cleaner (I have found the one above to work especially well) and well ventilated. In other words, the moisture must be allowed to escape and evaporate or the mold will reappear.

As most of you know this is not a website dedicated to bathroom cleaning, but to becoming the best versions of ourselves. How do the two connect on this issue? It refers to grieving. Not so long ago my friend had lost his mom. In a vain attempt to maintain an image he fostered he fought his grief. He kept all the tears he had inside for fear of appearing weak or sad. Much like our example above, by keeping his tears, or moisture, inside of him he began to form mold and mildew inside his spirit. It continued to grow and overcome him from the inside. killing off his happiness, his ability to socialize effectively with others. He even tried to treat the problem by drinking. It was no more effective than washing mold with water. It may looked good at first, but the mold came back stronger than ever.

It wasn’t until my friend finally let his tears flow, until he got that moisture out of him that he was able to move forward. The mold and mildew inside his soul dried up and went away. He was able to become happy again. Not that he still did not grieve and miss his mother, quite the opposite, he was honest about those feelings and allowed them to show.

If you have pain, if you have grief, do not hold in your tears. Do not let society or others dictate how you express that grief. If you do your soul may begin to mold. Let your tears flow. Be honest with your feelings. If you need help, please seek help. Whether it is the shoulder of a good friend, a support group or one on one therapy, give your grief an outlet. Then and only then will you be able to heal.

3 thoughts on “DON’T START TO MOLD

  1. That was a great way to describe grief! Having gone through the loss of my first husband, I can speak from experience.

    The first days are numbness. It’s the usual first stage of grief, especially when it’s been a death that is unexpected. I took my husband to the hospital with stomach pain on a Tuesday, but maybe Monday, it gets cloudy after nearly 30 years. Three days later he was dead. I remember at the grave site, my sister-in-law tried to give me some tranquilizers, and I told her NO! I needed to feel the pain and the grief. I needed to cry and let family hug me and offer their comfort. I couldn’t deny seeing his casket lowered into the ground, where the shell of him would decay and eventually wither away. I needed to know that and accept it, while crying and screaming when I was alone.

    It was after speaking to the Pastor and he told me of the stages I would go through. He said masking it or denying it and holding it inside, were the number one mistake done by many people. My husband was a Christian and I knew that he was with the Lord. Trying to hold in the emptiness, would destroy me. After all, I had a daughter that was just 16. She was grieving and needed me, so we could grieve together. It would go on for months, but when it came, we let it out. Friends that couldn’t take the tears, were the least of my problems. If someone can’t deal with the grief of another human, especially a friend, be done with them. You need friends that will listen to your stories and encourage you to share them and enjoy the memories with you! It is then, healing can begin and the grief inside can be washed clean in grace!

    As always Neil, you touched my heart!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am sorry you hear of your loss. I know we spoke of it before, but to hear it in its entirety was quite emotional.

      Thank you as well for sharing with all of us. That was both brave and very helpful to see what you went through and how you handled it.

      Like

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