QUICK! DO IT NOW!

One of the greatest challenges about showing people how to reduce their stress and increase their joy is convincing them of the importance of doing it now. After all, if your life is fairly happy why would you worry about techniques to handle stressful situations? You have enough on your plate with your job, the kids and figuring out if your favorite show is on Netflix. You will worry about it when life becomes stressful. The analogy I often use in my seminar is this, when would the best time to learn to swim be? While you are safe on the shore or when you are in the middle of the ocean in a boat that is sinking? When you are on shore it may seem silly to worry about swimming, but trying to learn as sharks are grabbing bottles of meat tenderizer is not ideal in anyway.

This became very apparent to me this past week. A lady I had been in a relationship with for 20 years, and then remained friends with for 4 years after passed away after losing her battle with cancer. It was a very hard and trying moment for me. Lots of feelings came up that were not fun, regret, sadness, frustration and lots of other not so pleasant emotions. All of this is natural and certainly ok to feel when someone passes away. Thankfully, I am blessed to be in a relationship with a lady who really knows and cares about me. Not only was she supportive, but gently reminded me of everything I have learned, teach and believe. The tools I have learned and developed that help the spirit stay resilient and to help heal sadness.

Before we continue, allow me to share a few of them with all of you as someone may be going through the same thing, and most certainly we all will at some point in time. When someone passes away we are all left with the question as to how to carry on their memory in both our hearts and the world around us. Personally, I have never been a fan of sorrowful days of mourning or candlelight vigils. Not that there is anything wrong with those, but I believe the best way to honor someone who has passed away is to try and rekindle some of the light the world has lost with their passing. Did they have a good sense of humor? Work on sharing yours a little more. Did they love animals? Maybe you can contribute to an animal charity?

I am grateful for two things in this very trying time. First, that I have a loving and wonderful lady in my life who can walk the fine line of being supportive and reminding me to use what I know to help myself as well as others. Second, that I have spent the last two decades learning and developing techniques to help keep a positive outlook in the face of trying times. If I had waited until after the funeral to try to discover ways to help me heal, I would be swimming with the sharks.

I encourage you to learn now. You never know when life will give you something major to deal with. Losing someone close to you, losing a job, or maybe even a relationship ending. If at that time you already have some tools in place, recovering from those situations will be a little less painful. There is always a sense of loss and sadness, and that is certainly more than ok. It means you cared for that relationship, job or the person who passed away. We must learn how to not only heal ourselves, but help others to do the same. I encourage you to start now. Feel free to click on the link below to order my book A Happy Life for Busy People, read the posts featured on this site or take other steps to learn effective ways to reduce stress, increase joy and become the best version of yourself. Love and light to all of those struggling.

CLICK HERE TO ORDER YOUR COPY OF MY BOOK

THE MOST DIFFICULT SITUATION YOU WILL FACE 

This is me at one of my favorite stands at the state fair.  It is called krautland. They serve a lot of tasty things many of which include… sauerkraut. Ron,the owner, and his family are some of the nicest people you will meet.  If you are going to the Wisconsin state fair I highly suggest stopping by. 

Ok, other than looking at this fabulous picture of me, what does all this have to do with the most difficult situation of your life? Let’s get into that. 

When giving my seminars on success and happiness one of the greatest challenges people have, and the question they ask the most about is how to deal with the loss of a loved one. I am no expert in grief consoling and to me there is no ‘getting over’ the loss of a loved one. What I have learned both by study and personal experience is there are things we can do to make the person we lost live on in our hearts. Again, let me say this is what had helped me and I encourage and welcome you to leave your suggestions in the comments below. When someone close to me passes away, one of the first things that go through my mind is what that person brought to the world. What light has been lost with their passing? For example when my cousin was tragically killed at the age of 22 I realized the world had lost a great artist and vowed to do my part to help the art community that much more. When my grandmother passed away the world lost a great hostess and conversationalist. I do my best to be amazing at those two things. 

Another way that I keep those I have lost alive in my heart is by doing things that I always have done with them.  My grandfather was very close to me and when he passed away there were lots of memories I cherished. One of which I indulge in every august. My grandfather, like myself, was a huge fan of our state fair. Every year we would go together and sit and eat at the stand krautland. To this day once a year, at least, I visit that stand and recall the good times I shared with him there. It keeps his memory alive in my heart and puts a smile on my face as well as my soul. 

These two acts help me accept and process the loss of a loved one.  I hope they may be of help to you.  I invite and encourage you to share what helps you so that we may help others. 

GET IN ON THE GROUND FLOOR!

image

These three people are all very different as you can see. The one on the left is my beautiful lady Margie. She is the most amazing djs you have ever met. She helps people discover they have a truly beautiful voice inside them and encourages them to expand outside of their comfort zone. She also creates cakes that are nothing short of a miracle. The joy in people’s hearts and on their faces when they receive one is such a great feeling to witness. She brings so much light into the lives of others it is amazing. She also does an amazing job of supporting the man in the middle, that would be me. I relate all the positive ideas I have learned and are continuing to learn through this website, YouTube, in my book and soon in seminars. More on that in tomorrow’s post. This blog is about neither of these two people however.

It is about the gentleman on the right. His name is Travis “Treezy” Jones. I wrote about him a few posts (see ‘then make a new one’ August 20th) for those of you who may not have read that post let me share a bit about him. Mr. Jones is a very talented performer and comes to lots of shows that my lady is the DJ at. He always reminds people to be positive and bring the best out of themselves. In a bar environment this can often be a challenge as you might imagine. A lot of what he tries to impart on the souls of others tends to get lost in the music and the alcohol. This is unfortunate because a lot of what he says can be life-changing and transformative. In the last few months Travis has had to deal with a lot of personal challenges. Remaining positive, something that came to him so easily seemed to be a lot more difficult. We sat down and spoke several times. As often when two like-minded people who come from different experiences get together a lot of great ideas are formed.

So what did we come up with? What great idea was created? Before I give you the quick answer, let me ask you a question. Have you ever wanted to get in on the ground floor of something? Have you ever wanted to be a part of something and watch it grow? Maybe even to your part to help that cause? Well, now you have that chance. In our discussions we decided Travis needed to reach more people. Not only did his original message of positivity and bringing your best still ring true, but what he learned from all of his personal challenges could really help others. So what did he do? He created his very own website! Now his words of wisdom can reach a worldwide audience. The website is called bringitivity.net I encourage you all to check it out. In fact, I would recommend following it. Many people give up and begin to follow a dark path when faced with challenge. This man chose to not only rise above it, but in doing so help others. His message is one we could all stand to hear. So whether you are in Brazil or Greenland do yourself a favor and give Mr. Jones and his ideas a look. They just might change your life.