Month: January 2023

I DON’T HAVE TIME ⏰️

Be prepared! This post will have some uncomfortable truths in it. We have reached the end of January. Those of us who have set goals for the new year are hopefully still committed to them. If we are not, why is that? One of the top excuses I hear about why people don’t commit to improving their lives is that they “Don’t have time.” Let me fill you in on a little bit about yours truly. With my daily commute, I work 55 hours a week at my day job. I DJ with my beautiful lady on Sunday night. We have had a daily blog for 210 days straight now. I am also working on my fourth book. While doing this, I make it to the gym at least 3 days a week. How can I get all of this done? Easy, it is important to me.

When people tell me they do not have time for things, or that they simply ‘can’t do it’. I answer, “No, you just haven’t made it a priority.” When people say that they can’t be a morning person, I ask them, “If I would give you $1000 every day you woke up at 6am, where would you be at 5:59?” Why could you get up early then? It was a priority. You knew you were going to gain something. Nobody is offering you $1000, but do you know what you could accomplish with an hour of focused activity first thing in the morning? It would be priceless. There is a great book called Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. Great book. I highly recommend it. In this book, Hal outlines a great morning routine to transform your life.

I can tell you a few things that will change your life if you decide to make your life a priority. How about 15 minutes of reading something informative or inspirational? Multiple that by 260 days if you don’t do it on weekends, and that is a lot of learning. How about 15 minutes of some sort of stretching or exercise? Again, multiply that times 260 and you will definitely see a difference in your body. How about 15 minutes of repeating an empowering affirmation or looking at your vision board? Multiply that times 260 and it will be sure to affect your emotional well-being and state. How about sitting calmly and meditating for 15 minutes? Again, done for 260 days and you will have a great deal of inner peace, less stress, and be better able to handle life’s challenges. You could do all of those things in an hour, 5 days a week and your life would be dramatically improved. We know this to be true. Still, we don’t do it. We may say we are too busy or that we can’t get up early. If we are honest with ourselves, we are not making our life, and ourselves the priority it should be.

This post may hit a little close to home for many of us. Understand it is not coming from a place of judgement, but one of caring. We must make our lives, and ourselves a priority. We must do so now. Why? If we wait until we have a life emergency, it will be too late. Develop a routine to strengthen your life. When life’s challenges show up at your door, as they do for us all, you will be ready and better equipped to face them. It is my sincere desire that everyone develop a sense of urgency for making their life the best it can be.

CAN YOU SEE A YELLOW CAR 🚕?

We have discussed this many times before. This is not only the key to the Law of Attraction, there is real science behind it. Using the part of the brain called the reticular activating system, which filters what the brain deems important, makes all of the difference in the world. Anecdotally, we see it when we buy a new car or outfit, and suddenly see many people with the same car or outfit. It is just what your brain decided was important.

If we know this happens with cars and outfits, why do we not take advantage of it for more important things? When I urge people to focus on what they have to be grateful for, or what is positive in their lives, this is the reason why. It is not being ignorant to what may not be going well. Indeed, we can use that to better clarify what it is we do want. What it does do for us is reveal more and more things that we have to be grateful for or that are a positive in our lives. It also works in reverse. Every have a bad day at work and when you come home you notice every little annoying thing that your spouse does? Normally, these wouldn’t even bother you. Perhaps you even snap at them when they don’t deserve it? How about if you have a disagreement with your spouse before work? How is the day at the office going to be that way? Productive? Singing kumbaya with your coworkers? I would imagine not.

Enough doom and gloom here. Let us practice thinking positive! What happens when your partner starts the day by showing you a loving gesture? You go into work and don’t even mind if the boss is yelling all day. You are just looking forward to coming home to more of that loving feeling. Maybe you have a great day and work and a relaxing drive home? Then if your spouse seems to be a little more sunshine challenged than you, it might bother you as much. You might even be able to lift them up as well. Why? You were feeling good.

Take having a good start to the day. Maybe you get a hug from that special someone? Maybe your dog snuggles up to you with a cute look on their face? Maybe you just had the perfect cup of coffee? Whatever it is, you leave the house with a smile on your face. You start to drive to work and notice songs you like on the radio. Oh, and what is that new little place to eat that you have never tried? Wow, the trees sure are a pretty shade of green. This may all sound a bit silly, but it is really how our brain works. The crazy thing is that we leave this up to chance most of the time. I did a video on my YouTube channel a few years ago called “Waking up in neutral” We need to act more in life, and react less. Set a determination to have a good day. Read something positive and inspiring. Recite some empowering affirmations. Have your happy playlist set to go. Whatever it takes. Start your day on a positive note and commit to staying focused on the positive. Life will feel like magic.

WINDSHIELD WIPER WISDOM ❄️

Ah, winter in Wisconsin. Not my favorite season. I am more of a beach and sunshine sort of man. Still, there is those strange bits of wisdom that you can only get in the snow. As I was driving to work at roughly 4:30 in the morning, this bit of wisdom was brought to my attention. One of the not-so-great things about living in a cold climate is having to scrape the ice off your windshield before heading out. When start work before the sun comes up, you do not always do the most thorough job. As I was making my way down the street, I noticed there was a bit of ice stuck under one of my wipers. This created a nice streak across the window.

Here is the funny thing about a streak on your windshield. Tell me if you can relate. Whether that streak is right above the defroster, or on the top of the windshield as mine was, it always seems to be right where you are looking. A good 90% of my windshield was clear, yet my eyes kept being drawn to this area where the streak was. It occurred to me this was a great parallel for life. 90% of our life can be going great and all we can fixate on is what is not going great. This is especially true if you have a toothache.

Just like driving in winter, if we are staring at the annoying streak, we will miss all the wonderful beauty there might be around us. If we are focused on what is wrong in our life, we will not appreciate the love, beauty and all that is right within our life. The flip side of this is after the car warmed up and the windshield defrosted, the ice melted and the streak was gone. In life, we must often wait and soon our problems will melt away. I could have also pulled over and addressed the problem sooner. Just like in life, we can take action and addressed the issue that is vexing us.

I hope next time you see a streak on your windshield, instead of becoming annoyed, remember this little bit of wisdom. Perhaps it will remind you to look at all of the beauty in your life and not just fixate on the streaks on the windshield of life.

LET US ALL TRY THIS TODAY!😃

Today is Saturday, the first whole day of the weekend! Let us celebrate by doing exactly what this picture says. Let share one kind word (or group of words) with someone today.

Let us not do this in response, such as “thank you” for a service done, but instead something purely unmotivated. Let us call up a friend out of the blue to tell them we appreciate them. Compliment a stranger on their smile, outfit, or kindness. Speaking of kindness, how about just doing one (more if you like) random act of kindness?

Share with us what kind word, or action, you did, or are planning on doing. Even if you read this on a day other than Saturday, please share the kindness.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU FEEL BURNT-OUT 😫

Raise your hand if you have ever felt burnout. Now you can put your hand down. If you are reading a blog like this, you have probably felt exhausted, overwhelmed and burnt out. When we do our best to live an amazing life, we can tackle too many things. Juggling, work, parenting, social obligations, family and friend obligations and maybe if we are lucky, throw in a little self-care. Does this sound familiar? As a high achiever, we are all guilty of this at one time or another.

The quote above highlights a good reason why. By doing so, it also gives us the key to getting out of these feelings. The part of the quote that I am referring to is the part about your soul departing. How many times have you been pursuing a passion and you just felt totally overwhelmed? I would say that is a rare moment. When we are doing something we are truly called to, we could be without sleep, haven’t ate in 2 days and barely drinking any water. That is why pursuing a passion is one key element to avoid burn out. You may be thinking, “I already have too much to do! That is why I am feeling burned out.” That leads us to our second, and very important, tool to eliminate burn out.

The second thing you should do is to question the why behind what it is you are doing. Are you doing something because you would feel guilty if you did not? Stop it. Are you doing it just to please someone else? Stop it. This can be a very difficult process for a lot of people. We can find ourselves doing so many things that do not serve us in any way. That is not to say you cannot help or do something for someone else. If helping your neighbor move would make you feel good because he is always doing things for you, then go right ahead. If going to grocery store for your spouse even though you are dead tired would make you feel good because you feel it would demonstrate how much you care, then go ahead.

Here is the tricky thing, if your neighbor has never spoke to you, or maybe you have a bad back, then feel free to say “No”. If you feel that driving to the store would be unsafe because you are too tired do not do it. If you are only going because you feel your spouse would be mad, don’t go. Saying “No” and standing up for ourselves can be one of the most difficult things we have to do. The payoff, however, is having the energy to do what we should be.

Have you ever felt like you are doing everything right and still nothing good seems to be coming of it? It may be that you are doing everything right, but you are not doing the right things. Remember saying “No” does not have to be mean. It does not make you a mean person. When we take control of our own physical, mental and spiritual well-being, we have more energy to bring to the items that stir our soul. This is far from easy, and may have to be done several times. Personally, after a long day working at the post office, I am so tired, it is hard to have the energy to write. Honore de Balzac once said, “Were it not for coffee one could not write, which is to say one could not live.” He also used to drink 50 cups of coffee a day. I am working on my third as I sit at Starbucks typing this very post. This is not the best health regimen. However, writing is my passion. Looking forward to this allows me to have the energy to make it through my 10 hour day at the post office. It also allowed me to say “No” to an additional 2 hours that were offered to me.

We must also look at the payoff of the actions we choose. Had I accepted the additional 2 hours, it would have been some nice money. This is good as Margie and I are planning to go on vacation soon. It would, however, leave me feeling to exhausted to get any writing done. This would not only leave me tired, but frustrated. Not having the energy to pursue my passion and purpose. Make sure this weekend you only say “Yes” to what you have a good why for.

CORONAVIRUS TAUGHT ME ABOUT LAW OF ATTRACTION 😷

I recall the first time that I had the corona virus. I was one of the first people in my area to get it. I was on the news, I made YouTube videos and helped bring a little calm to a world gripped in fear. What I wasn’t prepared for, or I guess didn’t expect was the stigma that I received from some people. When I returned to work, after the designated period of time, people would go out of their way to avoid me. Even though at that point, I was the safest person to be around. I had natural immunity.

Throw in the fact that I have seasonal allergies and you can only imagine the fear that brought out. Every sneeze sent people running in all directions. It wasn’t just me. Anywhere in public, when people coughed they were glared at or moved away from. There are lots of reasons that one can have a tickle in their throat. Here in the colder part of the world, dry air from heat can make you cough. As mentioned before, allergies could do the same thing. You could simply have a cough. Still, none of that will ever be the same for some.

This got me thinking. What we focus on really dictates our state of being. After the pandemic, everyone is acutely aware of every cough, sniffle or sneeze. For many, this is a legitimate concern. Especially if they, or those they are close to, have health concerns. When it comes to focus, we often let outside circumstances dictate what we focus on. This can be one of the most costly mistakes we make on a daily basis. Those sources we come in contact with, do not always have our best interest at heart. Rarely do they. Their interest in the bottom line. What drives sales and increases the bottom line? Fear. The news, Social media, coworkers, even our well-meaning friends and family can share how the world is going to hell in a handbasket. That is what we are sold. We are told how the economy is out of control. every time the price of gas goes up, we say to ourselves, “Yep, there is proof that things are getting more expensive.” What to we tell ourselves when gas goes down? That it will go up again? That is still more expensive than it was 2 years ago?

How about the attempt to divide us against one another? We are told that all of the evils of the world are the fault and responsibility of one group. We are told that we must vote a certain way or communities, countries and even the world will fall apart. Think again of the pandemic. How did it spread? Did a certain group get it all at once? No. It spread one person at a time. Day in and day out. Soon, it was an out of control spread. Soon, we were sensitive to every cough and sniffle.

What if we were able to apply that same sensitivity to words of encouragement? Acts of kindness? Opportunities to serve? What if we chose to spread a pandemic of kindness one person at a time? What if we did that day after day? We can see how it works in a biological virus. What we may not see if the ideological virus that is being spread the same way. One person at a time is convinced that the sky is falling. One person at a time is convinced that it is us against them. Before we know it, we have a pandemic of hate and divisiveness. Instead of droplets of saliva or mucus, it is spread through news stories and social media posts. We can’t protect ourselves from the fear and hate with a medical mask, but we can with masks of kindness, compassion and gratitude.

The virus taught me that the world can be made hyper-aware of many things. What happened if we decided, as a global community, to place that focus on the things that make the world a better place. I am not advocating becoming ignorant of the struggles we all face, but to question what we invest our focus, our energy and our time on. Tony Robbins once said, “What is wrong is always available, but so is what is right.”

Today, let us take the lessons we have learned from the pandemic, and apply them to create a pandemic of our own choosing. One of love, inclusion and working together. Let us grow the symptoms of kindness, compassion and mutual respect. As businesses begin to reopen, let us do the same with our hearts. Do not catch the ideological virus that many in power are trying to spread. Just like the Covid-19 virus changed the world one person at a time, we can do the same.

WAKE UP THIS WAY FOR SUCCESS!🤑

To the more cynical of you, this notion of expecting something wonderful to happen may sound ridiculous. I can hear your voices as I type this, “Even if I do, life will still be the same.” or “Life won’t change just because I am expecting it to.” I would have to agree with both of those statements. Life happens. Flat tires happen. Turning off your alarm while you are still half asleep happens. Going to Starbucks and finding they are out of coffee happens. (this actually happened to me and I share the story in my first book) If life will not change when we alter our expectations, then why do it? That is a very fair and legitimate question. Life will not change – but our experience of life will.

When we choose to expect, and therefore focus on, the positive, that is what we see. When you are expecting something wonderful to happen, you will be better able to notice when it does. Here is the truth – almost everything that happens in our lives can be something good. We get a flat tire? We might be late, but it will give us a forced opportunity to slow down. It will give us a chance to practice our tire changing skills. Maybe it will provide us a chance to use that roadside assistance we pay for. A cavity, as painful and inconvenient as it can be, is a great reminder to take care of our teeth.

Life is not all about finding the good in the struggles. In fact, life if full of miracles! Most of them we never notice. The fact that we can use a device that fits in our pocket to serve as an alarm clock to wake us up, a source of news to keep us informed, a music player to lift our spirits, a GPS system to get us where we are going, a camera to take pictures of where we are going and a platform to tell people around the world where we have been is a miracle. How about the wind? We can use it to power our cities. It can tell us when our neighbors are grilling out. It can further our appreciation of a beautiful flower. How about our ability to communicate and encourage others, even if they are half a world away? I always enjoy my communication with my friend in Italy. He provides valuable feedback on these very posts.

The fact that our bodies can turn food, water and air into energy, thoughts and motion. It is not only a chemical process, it is nothing short of a miracle. The happy dog we see in the car next to us. The smile from a stranger, or even better yet, from someone we love. The ability to taste the food we love. The joy that comes from hearing our favorite song. The feeling of love we get when someone hugs us. You may say I am choosing to look at the world through rose-colored glasses. You may be right, but does that make any of those statements less true? How would looking at all of those things as the miracles they truly are make you feel? What if you spent an afternoon, or even an entire day, trying to spot and appreciate everything good in your life? How would you feel at the end of the day?

The cynical are right that none of this would change the world. Here is the powerful secret to an amazing life – it would change the world for you! By taking control of our focus, we have the ability to create our world. Every day something wonderful does happen to us. What happens on the days we miss it? Will there be days when we feel nothing wonderful happened? Yes, we will still have bad days. We are human. When we chose to focus on, and expect, the wonderful, those bad days will be the exception and not the rule. In my third book, I ended it with a quote from Einstein. I think it sums up what we have been discussing here today. I invite you to read and ponder it. I also invite you to take me up on that challenge of trying to find everything positive you can for an afternoon, or even an entire day.

MARGIE AND I ARE NO LONGER LIVING TOGETHER! 🫨

For roughly 9 years (we actually don’t know when we first got together) Margie and I have lived together. We went to bed together every night, we woke up in each others arms. She even once had a cute little thing to say about brushing our teeth in the same sink. She made her cakes in the kitchen, and on occasion, I wrote in the living room. We watched movies on the couch together. As our busy lives ticked away we always had the fact that we were living together to come back to at the end of the day. That is no longer the case.

In January of 2022, I had to undergo open-heart surgery. Most of you know this story. If you don’t, I wrote an entire book, The Beat Goes On, that chronicles my journey. This includes a brief flirtation with death. After all of that, my life, and consequently our life, was never the same. You would think this would happen all at once. That it may be one of those epiphany moments. It didn’t. There were small changes. Especially after writing the afore-mentioned book, realizations began to dawn on me. This began to create changes in my life. My writing took on a new sense of urgency. My humor became far more valuable. Of course, as the title of this post says, Margie and I stopped living together.

Why after years together and coming out of such a traumatic experience, would we choose to stop living together? Let me clarify. We are still under the same roof. We still look forward to collapsing in each other arms after a long hard day. We still watch movies on the couch. How can I say that we don’t live together? The reason I say that is there was a dramatic shift in how we perceive our relationship. When you are living with someone, you are just going through a day-by-day existence. What my medical adventure taught us is that we are actually dying together.

At first blush, this may sound a bit morbid. The thing that makes life so valuable is the fact that it ends. If it were not for the possibility of death, life would cease to have much meaning. What sounds scary, but it never-the-less true, is that every second we live, we are one second closer to death. It is that constant ticking of the clock that should make every second more and more valuable. When Margie and I realized that we were slowly dying together, everything became more precious. Moments we spend in the kitchen being silly. Nights that I read to her in bed. Trips to the grocery store. You never know when any of there could be the last of its kind.

Knowing that everyone we are share our life with, we are actually slowly dying together may sound like one of the most dark ways of thinking, but it is the opposite. Could you really be mad at the driver who cut you off if you think about the fact that both of you are on earth dying together? Him, perhaps sooner if he continues to drive like a fool. How about the customer that is rude to you? Your life, and theirs, is continually growing shorter. Are you really going to waste any of it on anger? I think the realization that we are all on earth dying together fosters a sense of compassion for a stranger. You never know when their life, or yours, could end. Make every second the precious treasure it is.

As for the beautiful (and smart, she is not just beauty.) lady that I share my home with, we are no longer living together and we have never been happier or more in love.

YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE…🌞

Where I live, there has not been a sunny day in weeks. For someone with Seasonal Affective Disorder, this can be a serious challenge. I am sure a lot of you in the northern hemisphere feel the same way. Those of you in the southern hemisphere…care to host a book signing?😉

Considering we cannot change the weather (trust me I’ve tried) I thought about what we can do to keep our spirits up during the cloudy weather 🤔. We have to not only bring our own sunshine, we have to be sunshine for others! That is what I am encouraging you all to do this week. Find ways you can be the sunshine for your friends family and even complete strangers!

How can we be sunshine for others? The possibilities are endless! We can post positive comments on other’s social media pages. We can send someone a card in the mail. Remember those? How about surprising someone with an inexpensive, yet thoughtful gift? Paying a sincere compliment to someone helping you in a retail environment?

I would love to hear any suggestions you may have to bring sunshine to others. The more we share here, the more we can make the world a sunny place! 🌞