When you converse with others, how does the conversation usually go? Do you recite complaints of the day? Do you discuss others and their behavior? Maybe world news and all of the crazy politics of the day? How about the mistakes your sports team made?
If you are anything like most people, that is the majority of your conversation. Have you ever paid attention to your daily verbal output? Most of us don’t we just start talking.
Starting today, why not make an effort to inject some positive and inspiring words into the mix? It is so rare,people may even look at you funny. What they will also do is want to be around you. People like hearing good news. It might be awkward at first, but once they get used to it, they will want to hear more.
Let us talk about how it affects you, the speaker. In order to both start and maintain a conversation, we have to think about the topics which we are discussing. Despite how some people may seem, it is impossible to speak without thinking about it first. If you’re speech is mostly negative, guess what your thoughts will be? If it is positive, guess what your thoughts will be? Your thoughts dictate your feelings. Would you rather feel positive or negative? Watch what you think and say. Talk about something inspiring for a change!
This may seem a little contrary, but stick with us. There are so many people that spend their entire life in the planning phase that life passes them by. When they are ready to put their plans in action they are too old or life has provided a reason not to do it. It could be a health challenge or a situational change.
Life should be a balance of planning and action. Do not let life pass you by while you are planning to start it.
This picture and quote is obviously meant for a romantic relationship. It also could work both ways, for a man or a woman. A true measure of success is the joy your life brings to those around you and the world at large. In my humble opinion, this also holds true of the planet as well. An animal you helped may not be able to smile, but knowing that you could positively affect the life of another living creature means that you are a success. Picking up litter and helping the planet, also a success.
In a world where we all too often measure success in material means, we may forget what true success looks like. It looks like the smile on the person next to you. What good would it do if your business is booming, you drive the latest car and live in the biggest house if your family is suffering? What good does it do you to be a public success and a private failure? That is why we see so many celebrities that we feel have it all going in and out of rehab or worse. They may have bought the big house, but they never took care of what was in that house.
The same can be said of judging success by looks. Yes, it is important to be healthy. What good would an amazing body and dazzling looks do if you have a heart full of anger and jealousy? Again, you took care of the body, but forgot about what is inside the body. By developing inner peace and compassion, you will treat others with the same. That will make people smile for sure. In a world that is filled with chaos and people looking for their 15 minutes of fame, true success would be putting smiles on the faces of others.
Most of you reading this will be tempted to say, “I would not like suffering at all.” That would be an ideal life. It is also quite unrealistic. In everyone’s life, there is suffering. We do not get to choose when, or what kind we get.
What we do have a choice of is what we do with that suffering. We can grow from suffering. Like the mythical phoenix rising from the ashes. The other option is to let it destroy us. Shatter our hopes and dreams.
Suffering gives us few options. The one that we do have is a powerful one. That is what we decide the meaning of that suffering will be.
Last post we discussed how small actions and habits can have disastrous results. That was a little negative. Although still very true. Today, we are going to look at the opposite. We are going to look at good habits and how, given time, they can transform our life positively.
To do this, let us look at a metaphor that might help put it in perspective. I do not play golf. I’m not sure if you do or not. We can all appreciate the basics. You got a ball and try to get it into a hole several hundred yards away.
At the point of contact, a slight change in the direction you hit the ball, even millimeters, can have a huge impact as to where the ball lands. Think of it. If you change the angle 2 millimeters and follow the ball several hundred yards, it will be in a dramatically different spot.
That’s often how positive actions and habits work in our life. We take one small action. Perhaps it is cutting out drinking our daily Coca-Cola. Nothing much happens right away. We follow that change for several months, or a year, and we discover our pants fit better and we have less inflammation.
Think of these examples when you make a small change. You might have to stick with it a while. After which, it may lead to a huge impact. Just like the millimeter and the golf ball.
Where I live, right now is tick season. To be honest, every season it seems we are told is tick season. Ticks are nasty relatives of the aracnid (spider) family. They live on tall grass and hop on your body when you brush against them. The worst thing is what their bite can do. Ticks carry diseases such as rocky mountain fever and Lyme disease. These can, on occasion, even be fatal.
As my mother and I hiked through the park this afternoon, we pondered just such a thing. My mother remarked, “Isn’t it crazy how something so small can cause such damage?” It immediately started me thinking how true this is of many things in life.
Bad habits may seem small and insignificant, but can really add up. Say you throw a piece of trash on the ground. One wrapper, not such a big deal? If everyone in the world thought the same way, that would be roughly 8 billion pieces of trash! Just from one small wrapper.
The same holds true with people. Some people, dare I say, share many qualities with the tick. Their ‘bite’ may seem harmless at first, but it can have impacts that could end up fatal to your goals and even you! How about the person always telling you that it is OK not to eat healthy or worry about your fitness. At first, it may even seem nice. You end up with lower standards and a stomach as big as your pile of excuses!
When it comes to friends who drink too much, or even drink and drive, it can be far more serious. Small things can have such an impact on our life that we must remain diligent in staying alert to them. Next post we will take a look at another example, but in the positive. Until then, watch your habits and watch out for ticks!
There is so much good stuff to unpack in this quote. It is true that the world seems bent on gaining your 15 minutes of fame. Often, just for the ability to be famous. Many do not apply that fame to anything worthwhile. The truth, as revealed in this quote, is that you do not have to be famous. You do not have to even be seen, popular or well-known. One of the most powerful things you can do to stand out is to be kind. Be the kind of person who makes people smile.
When I mention this to others, they often reply with a little bit of sarcasm. “How Mr. Rogers of you.” I hear. One lady even looked at me and replied in a bit of a condescending manner, “Nobody smiles anymore.” Despite her tone, she wasn’t wrong. This is exactly why we need to do it more often. The examples of making cashiers smile, waiters laugh and lonely people feel seen, that is world-changing stuff. So many people do the opposite. That is why kindness not only makes you rare, it makes you extraordinary! Kindness is even more valuable and treasured due to the fact it is so rare.
If you feel the need to stand out, do so by being kind. There is very little competition and the payoff is creating a world that is a brighter place for us all. The world needs more of that. The world needs more of your kindness.
I think it would be fair to say that we would all like a world that is more loving and peaceful. If you are an individual that does not, you would probably not be reading something like this. It can be difficult to find the best way to accomplish that. Is there a political solution? Is there a spiritual solution? Is there some esoteric knowledge that we are missing? The solution can seem almost as complicated as the problem itself. Not to mention the problems are different for everyone. With that in mind, how can we create a solution that works for everyone? This was one of the questions that drove me when I was writing my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People.
The solution can be a surprisingly simple one. The photo above says it all. Make everybody feel like a somebody. We do this for several reasons. First, it is how we should treat each other. In a land of division, sometimes that humanity can get lost. Second, when people feel valued, they tend to be able to accomplish more. We all want our friends and family to live productive and rewarding lives. The third reason is a powerful one. There is the ripple effect. When we show someone their value, they tend to do the same to others. If someone is treated with dignity, respect and compassion they will be more likely to treat others in the same fashion. This will, in turn, have those people treating others kinder. This will continue to spread. It will all be thanks to one action you and I can both do. That is to show someone their value.
Every person on this planet has a tremendous amount of value. You, me and everyone we encounter. We all have natural skills and talents. Whether that is selling real estate or encouraging others. Each one of us brings something to the table. When we are reminded of that, miracles happen. Hearts open and people connect. As this sort of this spreads the world begins to change. It all starts with that simple action we can take today. Be the soul that makes everybody feel like somebody. It can save a life. It can change the world. All it takes is some love and compassion.
This is a rather amusing quote from Oscar Wilde. In its amusement, however, there begs a very important question. Are we someone who adds to other’s lives or are we a drain? It is true you can find something helpful about anyone, even if it is just a warning about how not to live. Sometimes the best teachers can be negative examples. Let us be honest, most people do not approach life this way. If we are being honest, I do not always remember to do so. We can often fall into the trap of focusing so hard on improving our life, that we fail to remember to be a blessing in other people’s lives.
One of the best ways to do this is to bring happiness wherever you go. The easiest way is by using of natural talents to bring love and light to everyone we encounter. This can be by being a good listener. It can be offering an encouraging word, or even just a smile. It can also be done by subtraction. Do not be the one who brings complaints. Do not be the first one to parrot negative news or the latest political talking points. Stay away from gossip. Instead pay genuine compliments or share what you are grateful for that day.
Not only will more people want to be around you. Not only will you bring happiness wherever you go. The best part? You will be more happy too! By bringing joy and happiness to all those you encounter, you are constantly surrounded by smiling faces! Who would not want that? It will sure make life a lot more pleasant. Be someone who brings happiness wherever you go and not whenever you go.
There are a some people who call me a ‘motivational speaker’. Nice title. I hope that I do motivate some to take actions that will allow them to become the best version of themselves. I look at myself more as a coach, or even a servant. Using what I have learned, and continue to learn, to help others improve their life as I have.
If you met me recently, or at least in this stage of my life, you would hardly guess the person I used to be. There were many roles I filled. I was a bartender. I sang in a rock band. Perhaps it was being thrust into the limelight. It could have been the praise, earned or not, that was given me. At one point I could not have been further from being an enlightened person. I am not attempting to paint myself in a bad light here. What I am doing my best to convey is the fact that I know what it is like to live a life that is…shall we say ‘self-focused’.
It took many different tools, strategies and people to help to get me where I am now. That story could be an entire book by itself. Much of it is contained in my books that you can find by searching ‘Neil Panosian’ on Amazon. Being introduced to self-improvement world by accidentally purchasing an infomercial at 3a.m., to more recently falling in love with a lady who both keeps me guessing and keeps me in line, have all contributed to becoming a better version of myself.
Speaking of that amazing lady, she is behind a lot of my work. She authored the foreword to my second book. She also convinced me to start my YouTube channel. One of the first videos we did was about writing your own eulogy. The idea came to me after my cousin was killed by a drunk driver. You can even hear the emotion in my voice while we are filming the video. It was filmed at a cemetery. The idea was to write your own eulogy. This is helpful in so many ways! I break in down in detail in my second book, Living the Dream. The main benefit is to decide what you want your legacy to be. The side-effect of that is that you can tell if the actions you are taking right now are taking you in that direction or away from it. After that video, and some more intense life-altering events, I took a hard look in the mirror. I was not thrilled with what I saw.
Determined to become a man I could be proud of, I began to change many things in my life. With the support of my lovely lady and other friends and family, you have the man behind the keyboard today. Am I where I want to be? Not at all, but at least I know where I want to go and take actions to get there. You can do the same. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it will not happen unless you begin! After a brief flirtation with death, the level of urgency to become that man whose portrait you will stop at became more urgent. Death is certain, but the hour uncertain they say. None of us know how much time we have to craft our legacy. All that I can promise you is that it is less time than you had when you started to read this. Take action now! Those in your life deserve it. Your future deserves it. Your legacy deserves it.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 