Monday can be tough for all of us. It can start Sunday night. A tightening on the stomach knowing the work week is one alarm clock away. It is important to remember that picturing the best can help eliminate a lot of that anxiety.
It doesn’t have to be limited to Monday or work for that matter. In any situation, imagine the best case scenario. It did not cost anything and can reduce stress and increase joy.
Most of you reading this will be tempted to say, “I would not like suffering at all.” That would be an ideal life. It is also quite unrealistic. In everyone’s life, there is suffering. We do not get to choose when, or what kind we get.
What we do have a choice of is what we do with that suffering. We can grow from suffering. Like the mythical phoenix rising from the ashes. The other option is to let it destroy us. Shatter our hopes and dreams.
Suffering gives us few options. The one that we do have is a powerful one. That is what we decide the meaning of that suffering will be.
Take a look around you. Wherever you happen to be reading this. It could be while getting your morning coffee. It could be in break at work or right before you go to bed. Feel free to share when you usually read this website.
Even if you happen to be reading this while waiting for the dentist, this holds true. If you look around there will be something you are grateful for. It could be that morning coffee you are making. It could be the coworker you get along with. If it is at night, your soft pillow is something worth gratitude. Even at the dentist, you could be grateful for the exit door!
I would recommend doing this several times a day. It not only increases gratitude, but gives a feeling of peace and tranquility in a often hectic world. I would love to hear both what time of day you read this site as well as what you are grateful for around you right now!
Last post we discussed how small actions and habits can have disastrous results. That was a little negative. Although still very true. Today, we are going to look at the opposite. We are going to look at good habits and how, given time, they can transform our life positively.
To do this, let us look at a metaphor that might help put it in perspective. I do not play golf. I’m not sure if you do or not. We can all appreciate the basics. You got a ball and try to get it into a hole several hundred yards away.
At the point of contact, a slight change in the direction you hit the ball, even millimeters, can have a huge impact as to where the ball lands. Think of it. If you change the angle 2 millimeters and follow the ball several hundred yards, it will be in a dramatically different spot.
That’s often how positive actions and habits work in our life. We take one small action. Perhaps it is cutting out drinking our daily Coca-Cola. Nothing much happens right away. We follow that change for several months, or a year, and we discover our pants fit better and we have less inflammation.
Think of these examples when you make a small change. You might have to stick with it a while. After which, it may lead to a huge impact. Just like the millimeter and the golf ball.
Where I live, right now is tick season. To be honest, every season it seems we are told is tick season. Ticks are nasty relatives of the aracnid (spider) family. They live on tall grass and hop on your body when you brush against them. The worst thing is what their bite can do. Ticks carry diseases such as rocky mountain fever and Lyme disease. These can, on occasion, even be fatal.
As my mother and I hiked through the park this afternoon, we pondered just such a thing. My mother remarked, “Isn’t it crazy how something so small can cause such damage?” It immediately started me thinking how true this is of many things in life.
Bad habits may seem small and insignificant, but can really add up. Say you throw a piece of trash on the ground. One wrapper, not such a big deal? If everyone in the world thought the same way, that would be roughly 8 billion pieces of trash! Just from one small wrapper.
The same holds true with people. Some people, dare I say, share many qualities with the tick. Their ‘bite’ may seem harmless at first, but it can have impacts that could end up fatal to your goals and even you! How about the person always telling you that it is OK not to eat healthy or worry about your fitness. At first, it may even seem nice. You end up with lower standards and a stomach as big as your pile of excuses!
When it comes to friends who drink too much, or even drink and drive, it can be far more serious. Small things can have such an impact on our life that we must remain diligent in staying alert to them. Next post we will take a look at another example, but in the positive. Until then, watch your habits and watch out for ticks!
In a post-Covid world this could be an alarming title. What we are talking about here is authenticity. We are talking about courage. So many of us do our best to hide what perceive as our faults. Filters on our pictures on social media. Holding back our laugh because we think it sounds funny. There are a million other examples. Can you think of some in your own life? Nobody wants to look like they are less than perfect. There are so many benefits by doing so.
To start, it is liberating. When you become comfortable with people knowing your perceived shortcomings, it takes the power away from them. If you are comfortable with them, nothing anyone else says can upset you. That is a very freeing feeling. Second, it is vital to becoming the best version of ourselves. Admitting and working on our imperfections is the first step to improving them. If we pretend the do not exist, or spend a good deal of our energy hiding them, it will slow our self-improvement.
Lastly, the quote above reminds us that by being comfortable with our perceived imperfections, the more we give others permission to do the same. It can be contagious. Can you imagine asking all of your friends to try not to show anything that is less than perfect about themselves? Hopefully you cannot. Most people would consider that pretty rude. Not to mention, you would never get to fully know what makes up your friend. The crazy part is we basically say that very thing to ourself. By changing our inner-dialogue, we give permission for others to do the same. We get to know each other on a more deeper and intimate level. That will only strengthen our friendship.
Did you notice something else that I did throughout this discussion? I used the word perceived in front of imperfections. The reason I did that is very important. You may think your laugh is ridiculous, and it may be, but it may bring joy and a smile to the hearts of all who hear it. What you view as an imperfection may be a gift to others. What you spend your time and energy trying to hide may be just what the rest of the world needs. Even just having the courage to be imperfect can eliminate a lot of stress for those around you. Let this be contagious. Be brave enough to embrace every aspect of yourself and you give others permission to do the same!
Working in the self improvement field, there are times when people ask my advice on relationships. It doesn’t hurt that I have a relationship most people would love to have. It may appear from the outside that our love comes naturally. That is good. Behind the scenes we both put in a lot of hard work to enjoy the love that we do.
My advice for anytime someone asks is to work on being the best version of themselves. That way, should you discover in the end that you are not right for each other, you not only come out as a better version of yourself than when you started, but you also have far fewer regrets.
The above quote begins “Man to man” but the gender is not important. What is important is that we take the steps listed above, and any other we think will help us improve, to continually improve. We do this as much for ourselves as we do for the person we are in the relationship with. Every aspect of your life improves when you do.
Not in a relationship? That’s great too! Instead of seeing who you can “get” at the current moment, focus on yourself. Work on becoming the best ‘you’ there can be. Keep your eyes open as you do. When the right person comes along, being the best version of yourself gives the relationship the best chance of success.
Last week, I had posted about being on vacation and attending our wonderful state fair. The Wisconsin State Fair brought many fun memories again this year. Great bands, great shows, wonderful food, but most importantly, time with family and friends.
I was lucky enough to have a few days with my lovely lady. We always get a coupon book that makes the whole experience a lot more affordable. One of the foods she enjoys eating during the fair is a corn dog. We were going to grab one a few times, but usually ended up too full by the time we got to the stand.
One day while I was wondering around by myself and missing her, I reached in my pocket and pulled out this corn dog coupon we were going to use. It made me think of how lucky I was to have such a wonderful partner to share things like the state fair with.
In life, there are reminders all around us of the special people in our lives. Reminders of things we should be grateful for. We often dismiss them as everyday objects. Perhaps they mean more to us after a person has passed away.
One of the secrets to an amazing life is to call your attention to these items while they are present. Spend some time pondering what they represent and the people you care about. It will increase the amount of love and gratitude in your life. That, in turn, will make your life more amazing!
A wonderful thing happened on my last night of vacation. As of August 16th, we surpassed the record amount of views we have received on this site… for a year! We still have 4 months to go and have already had more views than last year.
Why is this such a great thing to celebrate? More views equal a larger amount of people joining our community. That means more people who are working towards making this a better place for us all. If you enjoy this website, feel free to share it on your social media pages, tell a friend or promote it in any other manner.
Even better is the fact that we have reached a great number of countries on 6 continents. Spreading the message of positivity and self-improvement across the globe! That’s why working together we can make a change.
Yesterday we talked about hope and the importance it plays in an amazing life. Today we are going to ask ourselves another question. That question is “what spark are you grateful for?” Sometimes what is needed in life is the catalyst to ignite the fire of passion that is often extinguished by the daily grind.
That spark can be a place that you find peace and tranquility. It can be a fun activity that makes you forget your troubles for a while. We have been discussing the fact that I have been enjoying the Wisconsin State Fair. It is this joyous event in which I was reminded of another spark in life.
The photo you saw at the beginning of this post was Kathy and Tony. Two amazing people. One amazing couple. I was blessed to know them both when Tony was my dentist. An important side note – he is also the most talented dental wizard I have ever come across. If wanting to go to the dentist was possible, he we be the one to make it happen.
More important than his dental magic, is the fact that both Tony and Kathy are two incredible human beings. They are genuine, and have the amazing ability to demonstrate strength through vulnerability. They also seem to age in reverse. That last part has nothing to do with what we are discussing, but is an unusual fact not common in most people.
What may be the most powerful and inspiring aspect of this amazing couple is their ability to see the good in life, but even more, the good in the people they share it with. There are occasions when we need others to believe in us until such time when we can believe in ourselves.
By being able to see, and articulate the good in you, it makes you want to strive to become the best version of yourself. Case in point my interaction with Kathy and Tony the other day. They inquired about my writing, offering me encouragement. Asked about my upcoming wedding. More importantly, listening to my reply with not only attention, but genuine interest.
I walked away inspired to work even harder to be the best version of myself, and bring even more good into the world. In other words, be the kind of person Kathy and Tony think I am. Having friends like that is a spark everyone should have in their life.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 