THE ESSENTIAL CHANGE

My second book opens with the statement –

unless you change yourself, nothing will change; once you change yourself, everything else will change

This is a very important thought for several reasons. First, saying, or even thinking things like “I’ll be happy when…” hands over control of your life to other people and situations. Why would you let others decide whether or not you can enjoy your own life?

Another reason to realize you are the only person responsible for the quality of your own life are problems. When I hear people who consistently blame others for the situations they find themselves in, I know these people will never live a happy and successful life.

Let us be honest here, people can be jerks. They can say rude and hurtful things to us. They can put us in uncomfortable situations. What control do we have over that? A great deal. We can take a hard look in the mirror and see if there may be any truth to the things they are saying. If so, we can use it as constructive criticism.

What if there is no truth to what they say and it is just mean? Then we can raise our standards as to who we have in our lives. What if this person is our boss or some other person not so easy to dismiss? We can use that person for our own development. Practice our patience, controlling our anger, or having compassion for those who don’t deserve it. We can do all this while working to improve our situation.

Sometimes they are there to teach us a lesson. Such as no amount of money or job is worth our dignity. No amount off affection is worth any amount of abuse. These are all very difficult situations, but waiting and relying on the other person to change will most often result in no change.

Working on myself has lead me to my greatest improvements and my greatest joy. When I became a better man, my job became better, my relationships improved. I noticed when I treated others better and gave more to them, I received more in return.

To this day, I spend the most time and effort working on myself. Every improvement in myself touches and improves every area of my life.

BE YOURSELF

Here is a great reminder for the week ahead. Whatever you are, be a good one. We are so obsessed with being thinner, stronger, wealthier, or more popular we lose sight of something very special – us! There is nobody who is put together just the same way you are. Sure, you may desire some of the things we mentioned above, but if we all walked around with what we feel is the perfect ideal, life would be pretty boring.

Here is another wonderful thing to consider. Quite often, what we like least about ourselves can be what someone else likes the most. There are times when I am feeling so unattractive and I find my lady staring at me and then she says “I was just thinking how handsome you are.” I may shake my head in disbelief but it really feels good.

So, what about things we do? Same holds true here. I recall when writing my book A Happy Life for Busy People it took me forever to decide what to put in, and what to keep out. When it was published there were certain things I was thrilled with and certain things I thought people would just find silly, or not enjoy. Here is what happens, often things I write that I may not think are my best work tend to touch the most people and have the greatest impact. I have learned to just be myself and share what I am feeling.

Being genuine is something you just can’t fake. Let that sink in for a moment. Think about receiving compliments. If someone is complimenting you just to gain favor with you or because they feel obligated to do so, you can tell. If someone is genuine in their praise you can tell and it feels really good.

What about all the faults you have? Like a quick temper? Maybe you are not as organized as you would like? Faults provide two important things. First, they allow others to often feel more comfortable around you. Knowing the person they are around is not perfect can often help people feel more comfortable about their own faults and opening up to you. Second, they give you a chance to show you are working on improving part of your life. If you read a blog like this one, I can only imagine you are looking to constantly improve yourself, even the things you are good at.

The takeaway from today’s post is this – fall in love with yourself. Sure there are things you can always work on. We all have those, embrace them. Become ‘constructively discontent’. Use anything you think you could improve on as motivation. Remember, it is what makes you, well…you. If there is one thing that nobody can do better than you it is being yourself. Now I just have to figure why the woman in the picture has the head of a goat.

REVISITING A MAGIC FORMULA 

 

Until you change yourself, nothing else will change. Once you change yourself, everything else will change” – Neil Panosian

Last week we examined the fact that change comes from within. Changing yourself can be quite a struggle though. It is not easy admitting something about us could use a little improvement. Self-improvement always involves a little humility. We have to confess to ourselves we are not perfect. What we are doing, however, is creating a better person for tomorrow. That is not to say that the person we are today is not amazing, but that we want to bring an even better version of ourselves to those we care about.  I like to picture those road construction signs you see on the side of the road. Perhaps one that reads self-improvement work ahead or maybe even A better me under construction. I think if people were able to see those signs and know that although things in our life may look a bit crazy, they are really just under construction, they might be a bit more patient. Remember though that they can’t so letting them know we are working on things can help.

It amazes me how much the accent is on removing things in our life today. “Lose all that extra weight” or “Get rid of all that negativity”. Sure, both would be beneficial, but there is an easier way. Instead of going on a diet, or pushing people away, try adding. In my seminars one of the principles I teach is this, “The easiest way to eliminate the negative is by adding the positive.” In other words, forget the diet, try adding exercise and a few healthy foods. If you eat a salad, for example, you have that much less room to eat a twinkie. Spend some time with someone who really feeds your soul? That is time that cannot be spend listening to someone gossip.

As you add these positive changes you may find you have the momentum to start to reduce or eliminate some of the negative things. Maybe you will even discover how much you enjoy the positive and then will have even less room in your life for the negative. It is easier for people to add things into there life than to remove them. Removing things can cause a feeling of being deprived, or a feeling of lack and that something is missing. When you add something to your life it is relatively painless. Filling up on the positive will definitely leave you to full to consume the negative.

Feel free to share any suggestions you have to add positivity to your life in the comments below!

PUT YOUR MASK ON FIRST

This is a picture of me on the flight to Las Vegas this past December. I took my lady there for her birthday. Even on vacation my mind looks for ideas for improving the quality of my life that I can share with others, including you who are reading this at the moment. 

Here is the idea that came to me in this particular situation. If you have ever been on an airplane you have received the safety talk. This consists of direction on complicated matters such as how to fasten a seat belt, or notice where a sign that says ‘exit’ is located. I have heard this educational talk many times and can almost give it myself.

 One of the last things they talk about is what to do in the event of a ‘water landing’ which sounds very much like crash to me. In discussing how to put on the oxygen mask that will fall from the ceiling they make it very clear “you must put your mask on before attempting to place one a child.” 

This addressed an issue that can sometimes be difficult for a lot of people, including myself. Those who really care about the well-being of others can often do so to the detriment of themselves. When we do not take care of ourselves we end up not having as much, or being able to give our best to others. I use the analogy of trying to fill a glass from an empty pitcher, just doesn’t work. The reason they tell you to put your mask on before attending to children is that you can only help them if you are alive to do so. 

Obviously, this is an extreme example, but it serves a point. Always remember to take care of yourself. Only by being your best, can you give your best to others. 
If you will excuse me that picture inspired me to take care of myself by getting some rest. 

IT WORKS! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

“Hello all. My name is John O’Brien. I came across the  book A Happy Life for Busy People quite happenstance. It was given to me as a gift by my girlfriend. In its pages I found quick and easy action steps anyone can choose to use to bolster the level of happiness in their life, no matter how busy. I have implemented several of these ideas in my life on a daily basis and find myself more and more eager to implement another and another. Neil Panosian truly has done a great deal to find what works, and for that, I am grateful…which, as he knows…makes me happy”

John O’Brein II – Milwaukee, WI

I have decided to share this testimonial with you for several reasons. First, it is proof trying the life-changing tips we share in here and in my book A Happy Life for Busy People work. They can increase your level of happiness. They are not only tools of my own creation, but the best I have uncovered in over two decades of research on how to improve the quality of our lives.

The second reason I wanted to share this testimonial is the insightful tips the author has shared. The first is his choice of the words “choose to use”. While my book is full of tips that can literally transform your life or the lives of those you share it with, the one disclaimer is they have to be put into action. The old axiom “knowledge is power” is really only partly true. Knowledge is potential power. If you know everything there is about planting a perfect garden, but never actually get dirty and put the seeds in the ground you will never see the results. In fact, doing leads to more knowledge than even learning I believe. John has taken the tools in my book, put them into action and tweaked them to what works for him.

The next thing Mr. O’Brein points out is that after putting some to use he is “more and more eager to implement another and another” This is momentum in action. Look, I get it, transforming your entire life seems like a giant task. What John has shown us is that by taking small steps you gain a power and momentum to continue that journey.  Life is going to continue to move along whether you choose to act or not. The years will pass by no matter how hard we try to slow them down. So five years from now will you find yourself five years better or simply five years older? There is a Chinese proverb that states “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”

So, do what John has done. Make the brave decision to take action and change your life. Feel free to browse past articles in this website to get ideas, or better yet, click the link below to order my book today. Read it and put the tools to the test. Do not take John’s or my words for it. Prove these secrets work for yourself. When you see how much less stress and how much more joy will be in your life feel free to send me your picture and testimonial. Nothing makes what I do more worthwhile then hearing how much it has affected people’s lives.

Make the choice to improve the quality of your life and the lives of those you care about by clicking on the link below to order my book and begin your journey! I look forward to hearing your results.

 

CLICK THE LINK HERE TO ORDER YOUR COPY AND GET STARTED TODAY!

PAIN-FREE WAY TO SELF-IMPROVEMENT 

Here is something so powerful I am excited to share with you. Why is it powerful? One, it is very simple. Most powerful things are. Two, it can help turn your life around with ease. Yes, I said it. What if you could work towards any goal you are chasing with less struggle and less pain? Sounds great doesn’t it? What is this secret method? I am about to share it with you, but before I do it must be proceeded with a word of caution. This idea may sound way too simple and you could be tempted to dismiss it. Trust me when I tell you that it would be in your best interest not to. Do not dismiss it because of its simplicity, rather rejoice that you have found something so powerful that is so easy to do.

Ok, what is this secret formula? Let’s take a look at what some of your goals may be. Weight loss? This will help. Being more positive? This will also help. Being better with your money? Again, you can use this formula to assist. Are you excited yet? You should be. Ok, here is the magic to improving your life with little or no struggle – increase the positive to decrease the negative – sounds catchy but what the hell does that really mean?

Let’s take a look a look at some of the examples. Weight loss is a great place to start. It would seem persistence is the key here. I should know. I’ve lost 20 pounds…several times. Anyone familiar with me knows that I love pizza. I also love chips and salsa. Burgers from the nite owl, a local place here, are another vice. I also preach if something makes you happy and doesn’t harm others you should include that. Well, obviously burgers, pizza and chips and salsa are not going to get the scale moving in the right direction. So, how can I still enjoy those and remain healthy? Trust me this is a question I really worked hard to find an answer for. Instead of deprivation and feeling like something is missing in my life I chose to add something healthy. I now go to the gym 5 days a week. I also started experimenting with healthy recipes. If I eat a salad, there is less room for pizza. That means I might just eat a few pieces instead of the whole thing. It also means I don’t feel like I am giving up something which often makes sticking with your plan hard to do. 

Want to eliminate some of the negative people in your life or on your social media page? Try adding positive people and sites (just search ‘motivation’, ‘happiness’ or other such terms or add Secret2anamazinglife) then in addition to the drama and political banter there will be an inspiring quote or a picture of a cute piglet, puppy, beach scene or whatever else makes you happy. 

Another bonus when you do this is that quite often the negative things seem to fade out if not all together, at least a little. You may find you like eating different types of healthy foods. You may find the feeling of starting a savings account and watching the money grow will motivate you to do so more often. 

Please feel free to share ways in which you add positive things in your life and the impact it has had in the comments below. 

LET’S GET STARTED!!!

Last post we talked about improving our lives. Here is one simple way we can do just that. Work on strengthening our decision muscle. It is true one decision can literally change our lives. The decision to say “It’s over!” or “Let’s begin!”. Can you think of some decision you have made that has totally changed your course of life? Going to work at a certain place of employment? Dating a certain person?

Let us decide to make one new decision that will positively affect our lives. Before we do so, however, let us look at what it actually means to decide. According to membean.com “The root word cis and its variants cid and -cide come from a Latin root which means to ‘cut’ or ‘kill.’ A decision, for instance, is a ‘cutting off’ of all possibilities except for one; if you are decisive you have ‘killed’ all other options.” Think of that, you have killed all other options.

I like to use the word ‘declare’ more than the word ‘decide’. I feel it has more emotional power. If you decide you are going to be more healthy, you could decide tomorrow you are going to eat a whole pizza. On a side note, these two things have both happened to me in the past. When you ‘declare’ something it is like shouting it from the rooftops. You are saying “this is how it is going to be no matter what.” If you are faced with an obstacle you work around it. If you do not succeed at some point, you pick yourself up and start again.

Great lives were created one decision at a time. Let us all choose one decision to change our life today. Feel free to share your inspiring decision in the comments below.