Today is ‘Hump Day’ the middle of the week. A lot has probably happened to all of us. As we get closer to the weekend and begin to focus our thoughts on all things more positive and weekend oriented, let us make one more important change. The change I am speaking of is mentioned in the picture above. Instead of claiming to be broken and helpless, switch that mindset to growing and healing.
This may seem like an inconsequential change, but it will create a brand-new lifestyle. When we focus on what is wrong in our life, or how it has damaged us, we bring ourselves down. Doing this repeatedly can leave us feeling helpless. Nothing could be further from the truth! Yes, we have all been hurt and many of those hurts can leave us damaged emotionally, spiritually, or even physically. That we cannot control. What we have complete control over is what these scars mean to us.
Being in a victim mode can lead us to think that our scars make us ugly and damaged. In contrast, when we switch our mentality to understand we are growing and healing, then we realize our scars are badges of honor. They show the world, and even more important ourselves, that we have made it through some really tough situations. It also gives us a measure of credibility to help those who might be going through the same things.
Another thing we do that will leave us feeling like a victim is assigning blame on others. “It is their fault that I am ____” Really? If that is the case and you let others control your state of well-being you will always feel helpless. Instead realize that while others may make us angry/sad/hurt or a million other unpleasant emotions, choosing to stay in those emotions is a choice we make. Instead, try this thought on for size, “This person really upset me, but because of that I am now a stronger and more determined person than I was before.” or one of my favorites, “I reacted to you and allowed my emotions to get the best of me in the moment. Now I shall use that to motivate me to take control of my own emotional state and become an even stronger and better person. Thank you.” Feel free to create your own. In fact, I am always on the lookout for new affirmations in this arena and would love to hear what works for you!
Today is Tuesday. Usually, for people Monday is the roughest day of the week. Back to work after a weekend away. The usual responsibilities come pouring back into our lap. We have to get up at an hour earlier than we would like. By Tuesday morning we are usually back into the mindset of a working person. If we are not careful we can spend our weekdays in a “Pay bills and then die” kind of mindset.
The question I get asked a lot is how can I change my life to one full of passion and joy? One of the things I recommend is changing your focus. Specifically, I advocate becoming a gratitude focused individual. Starting your day with an attitude of gratitude is one of the most powerful things you can do to transform your life quickly. At my seminars, and in my upcoming book, one of the exercises I have people do is to start a gratitude journal. It can be as simple as a spiral notebook and a pen, or a fancy journal and a fancy pen. Simply write down 3 to 5 things a day you were grateful for and why. Then review that list right before bed and first thing upon waking.
What a lot of people get hung up on is where to begin. No matter what challenges you are facing, realizing you are here to face the world is the first thing we should all be grateful for. When I hear individuals tell me how terrible their life may feel because of health challenges, career or relationship concerns or any other reason, I have to remind them that they are at least here to complain about them. Being alive gives us one very important opportunity – to begin to make things better. A few weeks ago a lot of us made New Year’s resolutions with the coming of the new year. You do not have to limit this to the first of the year. Every day that you open your eyes is a chance to start to improve your life. This is true no matter how bad things may appear. This is also something to be extremely grateful for. As long as we open our eyes we have another shot to create a life we love.
This morning before the thoughts of dreading work fill our brains, or we start to plan the seemingly endless list of things we have scheduled that day, let us try something else. When we open our eyes let us say, “Thank God I have another shot at this life!” or “I did it! I made it to another day!” This may seem corny or make you laugh at first, and that is ok, laughter is a good way to start the day as well. Still, try doing this for 21 days straight and see what a difference it makes. I would love to hear your inspirational lines you are going to use in the comments below.
Read my latest food review to see what this Latin American restaurant in the heart of Bay View was like!
Hunting in the rain. I equate this to putting in the work when it is not convenient. Do you go to work after staying up late and not getting any sleep? Do you put in time for your passion even after working 8 hours at your day job? Do you attempt things even when the path ahead looks difficult and you are not sure you will succeed? If so, then you hunt in the rain. You are one of the rare people I enjoy spending my time around.
What is the big deal about hunting in the rain? There are a few things that make this so special. First of all, it shows how committed you are. Anyone can go to the gym when they got enough sleep, the sun is shining and they feel good. What happens when you wake up to temperatures well below freezing and a great deal of snow outside? Do you still lace up and give it your best? If so, then you hunt in the rain.
People who hunt in the rain have strong ‘whys’ They know exactly what the reason is for them doing what it is they do. It is that health challenge that gets them to the gym. It is the thought of supporting their family that makes them go to work even on days they don’t really feel like it. They are generally people aligned with their true purpose.
Hunting in the rain sucks. It is not easy, so why do it at all? If you are a person who is determined to get ahead in life, hunting in the rain is for you. Given that hunting in the rain is uncomfortable and unpleasant many will not do it. That means while you are hunting your competition is sleeping or staying where it is warm and safe. It is by doing the hard work, by hunting in the rain that you get ahead. You take advantage of the extra time they are wasting. Because not many hunt in the rain, the field is always less crowded. People will remember who was there for them when the going was tough. Bosses will remember who showed up when there was a blizzard. If you want to stand out and make a good name for yourself, you must learn to hunt in the rain.
How can we be motivated to hunt in the rain? Print out the picture above would be a good start. Remember your why, have it written down somewhere you can see it. If you add a picture too that would make it even more powerful. Also, stay focused on the advantages of hunting in the rain that we mentioned here. Note that an animal that hunts in the rain has access to prey those who stay where it is warm and safe do not. Show up every day and do the best you can. Before long, you will be the king, or queen of your own jungle.
In my book A Happy Life for Busy People, I advocate creating a ‘happy playlist’ for when life throws you a challenge. This also works well when your inspiration seems to be lacking. When Margie and I are about to DJ a show and I am just not feeling it I usually make some of the first few songs we play ones that get me fired up so I can do a good job for the people that are there for the show. Sometimes you just need a little injection of inspiration, and often times music is a quick and easy fix.
There is another element that I rely on to give me an extra boost of inspiration and that is people. Before we all bust out into a rendition of Use Somebody by Kings of Leon, let me explain what I am saying. After a tough day at my job in the US Post Office, or even after a long seminar or book signing I cannot wait to get back to the loving arms of my beautiful Margie. She can be so good at providing a sense of peace and repose. She also can provide love, encouragement and humor. I am grateful for her each and every day.
Just the other evening I had the pleasure of getting together for coffee with my good friend Nick. Both of us share with each other our thoughts on spirituality, motivation and all things metaphysical. When I leave the company of my good friend I not only am fired up to share some of the great conclusions we discussed, but also have learned a great deal by sharing a hot cup of coffee and a great conversation with my friend. I am also very grateful for Nick and the conversations we share.
Think about your life, do you have certain people who bring out the best in you? Maybe you have others that inspire you to be your best? It might serve you well to make a list of those people and what joy they bring into your life. Then, make a conscious effort to spend more time around them. Your life will automatically become one filled with passion and inspiration.
This is one of the pillars my teaching is based off of. It never ceases to amaze me how many people wake up and wait to see what kind of day it will be. If the traffic is bad – bad day. If they arrive at work on time – good day.
Let us stop giving away our power. We have a choice to wake up determined. To wake up and say “this is going to be a great day no matter what life throws at me!” Or “I am going to kick ass today and nobody is going to stop me!”
Yes, this may sound ridiculous to some, but it really can change your whole outlook for the day. Enough of those days strung together and you changed your life.
These days everyone is in the market for an all-in-one product. Hair and body wash, works on your dishes as well as the dog! That sort of thing. Who can blame us? In a world where there seems so much to do and so little time, those types of products can save us not only time and money, but stress and headaches as well.
Did you know there is an all-in-one product for your soul? That’s right! It can not only relieve your stress, put your problems in perspective, but can also do the same for others! That is helping someone with their problems. It may seem selfish to say altruism can do wonders for you, but it is true. Most of you know when I was down and out on my luck and my job had reduced my hours to a mere fifth of what they once were, I spent the extra time helping in a homeless shelter. Not only did that allow me to take my wonderful people skills to those who could really use a smile, but it helped me even more. Having a job that only was supplying me with 10 hours a week at the time seemed like a nightmare. When I saw and was able to help those who may have not been able to work for several years and did not even have a place to call home, I felt rather guilty for worrying about my problem. It seemed rather small in comparison.
Even more profound, was the fact that a lot of these people were happier than I was. They found the joy in something as simple as a smile. They knew what was truly valuable and taught me a great deal about maintaining a positive outlook in a challenging situation. When all was said and done, I can assure you no matter how much I helped them, I was the one who actually received the greatest help.
It doesn’t have to be the homeless or any other challenged demographic, although I would encourage everyone to lend a hand to those in need. It can be as simple as taking time out of a busy day to give your friend some of your undivided attention. Not only will you be doing a great service to your friend and strengthening your friendship as well, but you will leave with a peaceful joy in your heart at the very least. Knowing you are not alone in the problems of the world can help ease your stress and put a little spring in your step!
Those of you who have followed this blog for any length of time, or who know me personally know that one of the things I can struggle with is understanding emotionally that when you start something new there is a period in which you look foolish. It is not that this is a difficult concept to grasp, or that anyone really thinks people are just born great. The fact is just how to get past the feeling of looking foolish. After all, I can’t think of a single person I know who relishes the idea of looking like they have no idea what they are doing.
There are two concepts to keep in mind when attempting something for the first time. First, do not compare yourself to others. If someone first starting out in baseball compared themselves to say Babe Ruth, they would be discouraged. Another thing to bear in mind when comparing yourself to someone who achieves a great deal of success at anything is that we only tend to hear about them after they have mastered their craft. We don’t hear about the growth and struggles they went through on the way up. The person you are often comparing yourself to has went through a period of looking foolish as well.
The second thing to keep in mind when starting something new is what you may gain by learning this skill and what you will lose by not learning it. At present I am trying to convince Margie to learn to snorkel when we go to Jamaica. I recall when I first learned to snorkel. There were mouths full of salty ocean water, losing a flipper, figuring out how to get into the ocean while having flippers on and a million other things I am sure I forgot. Knowing this ahead of time I might not have ventured to learn how. That would be a shame, because once I learned how it was like a whole other world opened up for me. The quiet underwater world where you could see bright colored coral and even brighter colored fish. I would have missed seeing eels, flounder, and sea horses. This would have been a shame. I also think about the countless hours of joy I have experienced while snorkeling. It is now the thing I am looking forward to doing most when I arrive in Jamaica.
So before you decide not to try something new for fear of looking foolish, remember the two elements to consider that we have discussed here today. First, do not compare yourself to others. They looked foolish when they began too. One day you may very well be at their level, but only if you begin. As the saying goes, “You don’t have to be great to get started, but you have to get started to be great.” Second, think of both what you will gain by learning this skill and what you may miss out on if you do not. Life is shorter than we think. We should embrace all life has to offer.
Let us clear something up going into the new year, we need to act. I am a big fan of the Law of Attraction. I know it works and personally use it. What some people who see the movie The Secret, or read books on attraction misconstrue is the fact you have to act. You can use vision boards, recite affirmations, journal and meditate, but if you do not follow that with inspired action nothing good will happen. Kind of a bummer I know.
The good news in all of this is once you do the things mentioned above, it will be come more clear and easier to know what actions to take. Those listed in the pictures above would be a great place to start. I particularly like the ‘smile more, be excited’ line. A smile can not only improve the lives of those around you, but will elevate your mood as well. Even when you don’t feel like smiling, give it a try anyway. Often by changing our physical state we can influence our mental and emotional state as well.
Action does another great thing for us, it gives us joy. Tony Robbins said progress equals happiness. I have found that to be very true. If you are working towards a goal and taking steps you are being successful. Another favorite author and speaker of mine, Earl Nightingale, defined success as the progressive realization of a worthy ideal. The word to notice in that definition is progressive. You are not just a success when you achieve your goal, but even as you are working towards it. In other words, if you know where you want to go and are working on getting there you are a success. Even if the steps you are taking do not work out this time, you have just eliminated something that would not work.
This year let us put our minds to work, but we cannot forget to get off the couch and make it happen as the picture above reminds us. Try a few of the items listed above and see how they change your life. I would love to know what action steps all of you are going to take in the new year!
A lot of us are struggling to keep up with resolutions we made a little over a week ago. Some of my friends I know have already broken theirs. This can leave you feeling like a failure. I am here to remind you it is ok to try and fail as long as you do not fail to try. Being a warrior is a daily battle. Life is about the daily battles. Some you will win, some you may lose. The goal in life is to do our best to win more than we lose.
Whether that battle is staying true to your fitness plan or even to your faith, it is a daily challenge. Even though we do our best, we may not win every day. A true warrior dusts themselves off every day and begins with a fresh and positive attitude no matter what yesterday has delivered. It is important to remember the war itself will never be won. Everyday we must face our demons and overcome the challenges not only from without, but even harder from within.
When we fail to keep a resolution or goal we have set, we must use that to fuel our motivation to do better next time. Winston Churchill defined success as “Going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.” That is exactly what we must do to become successful. If your cheat day on your new healthy eating plan was taco Tuesday and that turned into burger Wednesday and pizza Friday, just start even more determined on Saturday. We all try and fail, just make sure you never fail to try.