Category: Uncategorized

STAY CONNECTED AND BRING JOY!

This was the picture on my daily motivational calendar the other day. I apologize for the slightly crooked picture. Take a look at this idea for reasons to stay connected with someone. As an author, I give my full approval. We talk about our favorite movies with others. There are hours spent discussing favorite shows we stream, but what about books? A book is more powerful because it causes us to slow down and use more of our brain and imagination. It also takes a little more time which can prolong the adventure. This can also create a deeper and more exciting conversation with the person who recommended the book.

As an author of three books, nothing frustrates me greater than not hearing what people thought of what I had written. There are countless people who have picked up one or more of my books with a promise to let me know what they thought and nothing. Any feedback not only helps me become a better author in the next book, but gives me motivation to write more knowing how it affects others. So if you have read one or more of my books, feel free to message me your thoughts.

As far as sharing books that you have not written, what a great way that is to learn more about the person who recommended the book. What was it that made them like the book so much? I am a big fan of books by Bill Bryson despite the fact he is not so good at returning correspondence. I would recommend the book, A Walk in the Woods to anyone and everyone. The audiobook is quite amusing as it is read by the author. How to Win Friends and Influence People is my personal favorite. A great guide to being more personal. There are so many others. I have had friends tell me about books, and even series, they enjoy. It has brought countless amounts of joy into my life. I have enjoyed both the books and the conversations we have had about them.

How about you? What are some of your favorite books? What would you recommend to your friends, or favorite author/blogger, to read?

THE FREEDOM WHERE HAPPINESS BEGINS

Today’s post has a simple message. I understand the picture is a lot to read, but it leaves us with a really good message. Never force your way of living on someone else. When your expectation, or worse yet standard, is that everyone should live, think and believe as you do it will cause you a great deal of anger and sadness. When you are tempted to force your beliefs on someone else, imagine how you would feel if someone did that to you?

Once again, I feel like this should be common sense, but in today’s world far too many of us seem upset by those who are different than us. This is not only a ridiculous expectation, it is one that will never be fulfilled. Leaving us constantly frustrated. Who would want to live a life like that? You do not have to condone every difference that people have to respect it. You can think to yourself, “That is not for me, but I am glad it makes them happy.” What leads us all to be better versions of ourselves can often be different for each of us. We are going to take a deeper look at this later in the week. Today let us understand that forcing our way of life on someone else, or even expecting them to share our way of life, will only lead to a frustrated and unhappy life for all parties. Learn to respect other’s differences as so many do for you. Can you imagine if everyone who disagreed with some aspect of your life came up to you to argue with the intent of you living more like them? Why on earth would you take this approach to anyone else? Let us all learn to respect and love one another.

WANT A HAPPY LIFE? USE THIS ONE SECRET

The other morning, I had the pleasure of sharing coffee and conversation with my friend Nick. We always have a great time together and discuss many topics deeply. We rarely engage in small talk and I love that.

One subject we discussed was the secret to having a happy life. It will also earn you a great deal of respect from both friends and strangers. You will still have the occasional rough day, but even on those days you will have help keeping your spirits up!

What is the amazing secret that can do all of this? It is being kind to others. Yes, this may sound like a Mr. Rogers idea. It really should be common sense. When I trained people both as a bartender and a postal worker, I stressed the importance of being kind.

Many people view being kind as something you do for others. That is only half true. When you are kind at work, whether that is to your coworkers or customers, it helps the day go by smoother and quicker. It is true that not everyone will reciprocate, but let that be their problem. Do not let it stop your kindness.

As you read this, I will be on vacation with my lovely lady in Jamaica. We will be kind to everyone we meet. Why? First, everyone deserves kindness. It is how humans should treat each other. Second, it will have people treating you better. Think of your own experience. If you meet someone that is always kind and grateful approach you, how will you greet them? Will you be more inclined to treat them kindly? Of course you will.

Here is the added bonus. When you do have a bad day, people notice. Not only that, but they miss the usual cheer and kindness. This will make them inclined to work to cheer you up. Can you imagine if this is the interaction with everyone you met? That is just some of the reasons to be kind. What other benefits can you think of that being kind brings?

THE THOUGHT I’M TAKING WITH ME

Today’s post will be the last one that comes out while I’m in the United States. Tomorrow at this time, hopefully, I’ll be in sunny Jamaica 🇯🇲. Margie and I are taking a well-deserved vacation.

Last night as we were packing up i grabbed a travel journal I always take with me. Except the one time we will get to later. As we packed and had a little snack, I read some of the entries out loud to Margie. It was amazing how many things we forgot that we enjoyed on vacation.

There was parades we watched. A very nice couple from Canada we hung out with. The gent and I even played a game and won on stage at the resort! How do you forget that? Still, had it not been written down, we would have.

This practice of taking time to write every day does several things for me. It forces you to show down and reflect. Sometimes that can be difficult for people used to being on the go all of the time. I speak from experience. It also helps you be present by asking, and remembering, details to write down later. In reading this journal there were names of people, dishes we ate and towns we traveled through.

Here is the thing, if this works well for vacation, imagine how this could work for your life. Journaling may feel like a long lost art, but if it helps us slow down and be more present, that could be life-changing! Hang on to all of those memories in any way you can. Life goes by quicker than we think.

IMPACT YOUR DESTINATION!

Last post I had mentioned that Margie and I were going to depart to visit Green Island Jamaica. Although Jamaica is a place we have visited before, we have never been to this part of the island. When we were looking at everything we had planned this past week we did the usual things. We looked at the resort we were staying at. We thought about where we wanted to eat and the entertainment we wanted to enjoy. Did we want to do an excursion of any kind? What should we pack? This is what may of us do. Those things are all important, but they all revolve around the same principle. What are we going to get from this vacation. That is important to be sure. What many of us never ask is what do I want to give on this vacation.

In life, nobody likes the “What is in it for me?” type of person. We certainly do not want to be that person. Somehow on vacation, often people do not think that way. It could be the fact that you have shelled out much of your hard-earned money to go and be where you are. Maybe that causes an entitled feeling? It is worth remembering that the people helping you are not just doing their jobs, but helping your vacation be as enjoyable as it can be. Many of them cannot afford to take a vacation themselves. Showing them courtesy and appreciation can mean the world to them.

When we travel, we represent more than just ourselves. Think of that. We represent tourists in general. We represent the country we are from. When we were in Jamaica the second time, we happen to stay at a resort with many people from the same state we live in. They were generally entitled and unpleasant to the staff and other people at the resort. So much so Margie and I were tempted to say we were from somewhere else. That is when I realized that we had to be a good example. We went out of our way to learn about the locals we encountered. We treated everyone with dignity and respect. The lady in the first picture with us was Stephanie, a tour guide. We might have been the only people to talk to her and take a picture with her. In the Bahamas, we have the pleasure of meeting and chatting with many workers in different shops we went to. Even befriended a wonderful young lady who explained to Margie how much they needed her baking skills in the country. Still trying to convince Margie a move there would be a good idea.

The point of all of this is that we wanted to have a positive impact on every place we went. I shared my writing with many people and we tried to share smiles and kind words to everyone we met. The great thing about this idea? It does not have to be different countries that you do this in. It can be when you go out to eat, to coffee or to the hardware store. Think of what impact you leave in every place you go. Is it a positive one? Did you leave any impact at all? Be a light of compassion, understanding and positivity wherever you go. Whether that is around the block or around the world. The more you do this, the brighter your world, and the world in general will be.

THE POWER OF WAITING

Today will be my last workday before I leave for Sunny Jamaica on Monday. I thought this picture was funny, but the more I thought about it, there is some inspiration and direction to be found here as well. That flamingo will be me shortly, coconut drink and all. Hopefully I will not be as pink, but I will be laying in a chair just relaxing. Do you know why that is a powerful thing to do in our life?

Have you heard the funny cliche about how most of our good ideas come to us in the shower? Why do you think that is? Do our brains need humidity to function? Does the smell of our shampoo help our brain cells to work more efficiently? While I cannot speak to either of those notions, there is another answer that may surprise us. Taking a shower is one of the few times we give our minds a bit of time off. As technology and the speed of change increase, this becomes even more true. We have a device in our pocket that can occupy our minds no matter where we are. Scrolling videos in line at the grocery store. Checking our social media while conducting our business in the restroom. It would feel many of us lack a moment of sacred silence.

Our minds should be one of our hardest working employees. Through my first 3 books, I show you many tools and strategies to put that employee to work for you. Think of a human employee. If you give a person something to do 24/7, they will break down in a short amount of time. At the very least, they will not be operating at peak efficiency. It is not just being efficient that matters, but being creative too. When you are feeding your mind content that has been created by others, you leave it very little time to create its own. Not to mention, we need time to properly process that content we do assimilate. If not, it becomes a giant tangled mess in our brains. Does that sound familiar to any of us?

Yes, I will be creating content while in Jamaica. Mostly video content is my guess, but there will also be plenty of relaxation and time to enjoy my lovely lady. We both work so hard our time together is either spent brainstorming our creative endeavors or passing out in each other’s arms. Those are both wonderful to be sure, but leave little time for enjoying each other. Plus, who does not want creativity to blossom in their relationships both romantic and otherwise? This can only happen when we give our minds time to come up with those thoughts.

You might not be lucky enough to have a trip to Green Island Jamaica planned, but you can plan and schedule some time with your thoughts. Give your mind time to sort out the millions of bits of information we all digest on a daily basis. I think you will be surprised with things you come up with. Do not rely on the shower and right before you sleep. As a matter of fact, those of us who lay down only to find our minds wake up, display a need to spend this time. Your mind is begging to communicate with you all the time. If you never give it a chance, it will take the only time it has which is usually in the shower or when you are trying to fall asleep. Neither of which is terribly convenient. By scheduling time to unwind we will be able to sleep and shower better!

RITUAL FOR THE WIN!

Last post we talked about protecting yourself from the virus of hate and jealousy. We suggested limiting exposure to the news, social media and negative people. As well as taking a different mindset when dealing with all three. There is another important step you can take to boost your immunity before you encounter any of those. Just like when you take a supplement to protect yourself against a physical virus, there are things you can do to boost your immunity to mental and spiritual viruses. Think of them as mindset supplements.

Take a look at the three categories described above and the wins they say you require. It is a pretty good list. Notice there are several ways to accomplish each. Most people focus on the physical one. That is helpful. Getting that heartrate up is good. It is equally important to protect our minds and our spirits. Have you ever thought about this? More importantly, do you take steps to do this? Admittedly, I need to do better at this myself. One of the benefits in sharing these tools and strategies with all of you is that it provides me a great reminder of areas in which I could use a little work. Most of you know I wake up at 4am and with little time to do much other than the essentials.

Not having a wealth of time is what must people, including myself, use to justify not addressing their mental and spiritual health first thing in the morning. Finding ways in which to both incorporate this into our morning routine, but also make it as easy as possible to do. Looking at the mental category. Reading, writing, creating and learning. The last two might need a little more time than we have in the morning. The first two, however, can be done with less time than we think and offer us a big return. You could have an inspirational book and read for 5 minutes each morning. I have a daily calendar that offers an inspiring quote each day. It takes less than 60 seconds, but plants an inspiring seed in your brain to grow throughout the day. Just a few minutes of journaling in the morning can be helpful. Not enough time? How about writing out your mantra for the day? That creates the mind/body connection before you leave the door!

Spiritual wins can be harder to define, but have a big impact on our lives. Once again we have four suggestions – praying, meditating, studying and growing. Again, the latter two may take a little more time, but praying and meditating can be accomplished in relatively little time. How important would it be to develop a mind and heart full of peace and calm before the world and all the craziness start to invade it? There are a million ways to pray and meditate, but find one that works for you. Spending even just a few minutes doing this will set you up for a much better day than just rushing out the door.

Once we leave the house we are subjected to all sorts of outside influences. People who do not understand the benefit of turn signals, news anchors determined to start our day with fear and hatred. Negative coworkers who would like to share their complaint or the day’s latest gossip. If we throw ourselves into this unprotected, we can find ourselves infected with the negativity virus. Your morning is yours! Use it to serve you before other things start competing for your time.

WIPE OUT THIS VIRUS!

I am not sure if the quote pictured belongs to the great actor portrayed, but the point is still quite a valid one. In today’s world there are plenty of sources that could infect you with the virus of jealousy and hatred. News stories filled with hate and division. Social Media posts describing the life you should have and how far behind in life you are. Buying into either of these or multiple other sources could infect you with these viruses. Let us take a look at three of the biggest sources of contamination and how to protect yourself against them.

First is the news. Understanding a few things when you read the latest hate and fear-filled nonsense they are putting out will go a long way to prevent the infection. One, negative emotions sell. They profit and benefit by you being afraid or inciting division in your heart and thinking. The next thing to understand is that there are not my kinds of people out there. There are just people. Yes, we may have different opinions or ways of looking at the world, but we are all people. Human beings. We share many things in common as different as we may be. Do not let anyone convince you otherwise. It is a ticket to hate and violence.

It would be best to avoid the news as much as you are able. There is a difference of being informed and inundated. Social Media is something that many are addicted to. Blending online life with real life is so important. Here is an important reminder. YOU get to choose what you see on your social media account. Many say that social media is too negative. If that is the case in your world, start by subscribing to things that inspire and bring you joy. There really are pages for everything! Also, keep in mind most people only post their highlights on social media. You see the pictures after the workout, never when they are hyperventilating on the treadmill. Unless of course you follow my page in which you will see a little of both. Everyone has their own unique set of circumstances and experiences. That means we will achieve and succeed at different times. One is not necessarily better than the other.

Last source of infection is something we cannot always avoid, try as we may. That would be other people. In the world there are many sunshine-challenged people as I prefer to call them. It is why I started this website. Sharing the tools for self-improvement that we learn will benefit us all. It can be difficult to not let someone else ruin our day. Therefore, we must make it a point to include as many inspiring sources, as well as inspiring people, in our lives. Is there someone who makes you smile? Send them a message! Better yet, give them a call. Even better, make time to get lunch or a cup of coffee with them.

Following all of these bits of advice will help prevent you from contracting the terrible virus of hate and jealousy. It can even help cure us if we have already been infected. Take a look at the next post for an additional course of action to increase immunity against this virus!

WHO GETS TO LIVE LIKE THIS?

Have you ever had one of those reminders that give you that kick in the butt you need? We all can fall victim of some less than empowering thinking. On my way to write today i was lamenting that the sun was not shining and I was feeling tired and a little less than inspired. Then a song came on the radio that changed everything.

The song was Who Gets to Live Like This,by Jimmy Buffett. In the song, Jimmy describes his life and how grateful he is for it. Living in the beach, the mail, and money, come by boat. He just has to relax and write songs. Swap ‘songs’ for ‘books’ and that would be the life for me!

I almost fell into the trap of thinking of how far away from this life I was. I live in a climate that is anything but tropical. I must get up at 4am to go to a day job. Then I thought about a post I had recently written explaining how we should be grateful for the blessings we have and the troubles we don’t.

Suddenly, my thinking began to shift to what was amazing about my situation. This morning I woke up and had a cup of Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee. Which is my favorite. I had some breakfast my thoughtful sister brought me. I was able to share both of those with a beautiful lady who happens to be marrying me. Yes, I have to go to a job, but it is only 5 days a week and allows me to pursue my passion.

We often need these reminders. Even those of us well-versed in the field of self-improvement. Here is the quandary and the solution. What do we do when we don’t have an inspiring song come on the radio? We must craft and schedule tools of strategies that inspire us! Develop morning rituals that empower us. Leave the house inspired and grateful! What tools and strategies can you think of that would do this? Share your ideas with the rest of us!

WHY IS THIS SO CONTROVERSIAL?

It is understandable that religion and someone’s spiritual beliefs are a passionate subject. It is also easy to understand that there are strong opinions about beliefs. What I do not understand is why, even if you believe that your beliefs are the only correct ones, would you not be able to respect others who feel the same. It always surprises me how adept religious leaders are at this, but how difficult it seems to be for many of their followers.

I am not here to tell you what to believe spiritually. Nobody has that right. What I will say, however, is that no matter what you believe, it is necessary that we respect the beliefs of others. Yes, even if they are different than ours. This does not mean we compromising our beliefs. It merely means that we are confident enough in our own beliefs to respect the beliefs of others. This one adjustment could help us avoid a great deal of war and violence in the world.

If you enter another’s sacred space, do as Pope Leo did and act respectfully. You would not want someone to disrespect what you believe, why would you do the same thing to another? Let us encourage and be an example of this behavior.