Month: September 2018

PICK YOUR WHAT?

In my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People, I had a section titled “Pick your posse” which discussed the importance you should place on the people you choose to surround yourself with. I approach it again in my second book with an updated and expanded look. Again, look for that book to arrive February 2019. We are going to give it a fresh look today.

What exactly is a posse? Around the turn of the century a posse was a group of armed men on either side of the law that looked out for and protected each other. Sometime in the 1980s the hip-hop culture used this definition for the people in their ‘crew’ who also had each other’s back. In short, a posse is trusted associates who watch out for each other and share like-minded vision.

I cover the importance of carefully selecting these people in the afore-mentioned two books. Today I would like to discuss another benefit of having a posse. Napoleon Hill, great author and self-improvement guru referred to a posse as a ‘mastermind group’. Loosely defined, that is a group of people with their own unique talents that work together to work on a project or often projects. They pool their own talents with those of others in the group. This helps compensate for weaknesses some members might have.

This seems to all make sense, but there is something far more magical that transpires when a group of people get together to work on a project or common goal. Something else is created. When two people get together and share thoughts and ideas a third person is actually created. That person is the aggregate of the other two people’s thoughts and ideas. By putting their minds together they can accomplish far more that each of them working separately.

Working with positivity and in the field of self-improvement I noticed that those in this field do not work together often enough. It would seem each person is content on developing their own strategy for improving life. It is as if they are leaving the putting the different theories together up to the reader. If two accomplished members of the motivational community were to work together I believe we could discover many more ways in which the average individual could live a more positive and rewarding life.

Recently, I have begun such and undertaking. I joined a Facebook group called Truth for Thought (TFT) This group at its core is about spreading positivity and promoting productivity amongst people who are struggling to find their way. I was happy to share what knowledge I offer to that end on this site with the group as well. I was happily approached by one of the gentleman who run the group, Brian, who asked me to take a more involved role. Currently several of us are setting up a roundtable to discuss our pages and issues that we would feel would be beneficial to highlight. In other words, working together for the good of mankind. We will not only be teachers, but students of each other. Blending all of our knowledge together will most certainly lead to some brand new insights.

I recommend in any endeavor you are working on to form a mastermind group, or more colloquially, a posse, that can help you get there sooner. It doesn’t even have to be anything more formal than a group of friends all committed to the same goal. If Truth for Thought seems like a group you may be interested in, give them a look, as well as my Facebook group Fall in Love with Life for additional motivation and inspiration.

A powerful conversation

I am not sure if Charlie Brown and Snoopy ever had this conversation as I never hung out with them outside of the comics. It does denote a very interesting point.

Charlie Brown in this picture represents a lot of people, especially as the years creep by. They become jaded with all the injustice they face and even experience. Then as the end becomes ever near they resign themselves to the fact it’s almost over.

Snoopy on the other hand, represents not only dogs of all kinds, but youth as well. Every day is a new adventure. Life has a flavor that can fade with age. We need to find that spark again!!!

As the days pass from one to another remember that each day holds its own possibility, no matter how close to the end it may be. A sure way to do this is to remain present. Enjoy each day for what it offers us.

SOME DAYS IT IS JUST LIKE THIS

Fear not. This is not a loaded cannon nor would I advise sticking your head in the wrong end of a cannon. Just a goofy picture Margie took of me while we were visiting The House on the Rock. Some days can feel just like this for many of us though. Recently on my Facebook page Fall in Love with Life I shared a story of my attempts to share my food reviews on a page dedicated to the Milwaukee food scene. To me it seemed like a good fit. In the description it even mentioned that reviews were encouraged. An hour later I checked back to see if anyone had even seen it. That is when I felt like the picture above.

Yes, people had indeed seen it and even offered their own version of feedback on it. These enlightening comments ranged anywhere from the inquiring, “Why is this s**t on here?” to the critiquing, “You think you’re a good writer you will never win a Pulitzer!” to the very confusing, “Get a f**king life! Go back to Illinois!” This was confusing because I am not from, nor have I ever lived in the state of Illinois. My post was not about a restaurant in Illinois either.

The point is, I took a beating. When I put my face in my cell phone screen I felt like I was sticking it in the mouth of that cannon. I say this to let you know even if what should be benign situations we all can end up taking a beating. People can spend valuable energy on just making others, which can often include you, miserable.  Why that is we may never know. Much like the gentleman with the Illinois comment for me, often times they seem to come out of nowhere and make little to no sense.

The reason I am sharing all of this with you today is to remind us all how important it is to have a stress reduction plan for when those moments do come. As you can see, they can come when you least expect it. In my seminars I tell people the time to learn to swim is on the shore, not while the boat is sinking. In other words, do not wait until your life feels like the picture above. Begin this moment to make stress reduction a priority. Find things that bring you joy. Whether that means making a list of movies that make you smile, or songs that you like listening to. Find constructive ways to get out of stress. That might be a hard workout in the gym or a relaxing walk in nature.

Luckily I had a great night that night at the movies with Margie followed by a nice walk in the neighborhood. Two things that always bring a smile to my face. I recommend you begin to get your list of things together today. If you have a day where you feel life is beating you down make sure to use them. Keep moving forward. As Babe Ruth said, “You just can’t beat the person who never gives up.”

SHINE ON!

 

 

In my upcoming book Living the Dream there is a special section I have included towards the back of the book. This section is called ‘In the company of angels’ and for good reason. It includes stories of people that I know who have faced life challenges that would make most of us bitter at best, or throw in the towel and quit on life at worse. These wonderful people have not only avoided both, but have went on to be positive forces in their own right.

The stories range from having one of their parents killed in a mining accident and having to move clear across the country to being abused on several levels as both children and adults. Writing these stories was a bit of a struggle for me as I am used to writing material that uplifts and inspires. As I wrote and recalled all the situations my friends had relayed to me I felt their pain. I cannot imagine facing what some of them have.

Writing my way through them brought several positive things to me, however. First, I was grateful for all of the struggles that I didn’t have to face growing up. We were not rich and I came from a single-parent home, but we always had trips to the library, played games with other children in the neighborhood and always had enough to eat. After reading the stories I share in my book, growing up without a lot of money and only one parent seemed like paradise. I guess you could say it not only supplied me with a great deal of gratitude, but a new perspective as well.

Another thing it did for me was only serve to increase my respect for those brave individuals that shared their stories. The idea for including them in my book was to show real life examples of how people could face the worst situation and still manage to maintain a positive disposition. This was the reason I approached the people I did. What I didn’t expect was the details and amount of struggle they had went through. Learning how someone could overcome everything they did was worth its weight in gold. I am pretty sure most of us would not escape with such a healthy outlook as they had.

Knowing these people personally I can tell you that they genuine love life. That is not to say they do not have a bad day as we all do, but as a general rule they seem to appreciate the beauty of what surrounds them on a daily basis. The bravery they showed in coming forth and sharing their stories so that others may benefit from them was also not lost on me. They did so with no promise of any future reward other than the knowledge in their heart that their stories have helped others who are also struggling.

My suggestion to you is to learn the stories of your friends. Ask about their struggles. If you are blessed enough like I am to have brave friends who do not mind sharing what they have been through, do yourself a favor and listen. Understand how much courage it takes to be able to recall the pain of the past again. Admire their ability to stand strong in the face of a past that may haunt them or weigh them down. Appreciate their ability to shine even after all the storms they have been through. These to me are the true warriors.

Don’t forget to look for the book Living the Dream coming to bookstores next February.

 

 

THE POWER OF CHOICE

If you were to print this list out and hang it on the bathroom mirror it would be a great way to start the day. In every day if we look hard enough we can find something to feel blessed, grateful, excited, thankful and happy for. Even if the world seems to be crashing down around you, which I know can happen, it is good to get into the practice of doing this.

Here is what I suggest. Print this out, or write it down. Place this somewhere you go every morning. The bathroom mirror is an easy idea because most people visit that room before they begin their day. Then ask yourself the questions, “What do I feel blessed about today?” “What am I grateful for today?” “What am I excited about today?” “What am I thankful for today?” and finally, “What am I happy about today?” Do your best to come up with answers for as many of the questions as possible. Do this every day. Make it a habit. Try this for 30 days and see how much better you feel.

THE LATEST SUPERHERO I MET

This is one of my favorite quotes. Someone who is physically capable has no reason to at the very least return their shopping cart to the cart corral. I stand corrected. There is only one reason – laziness. If you are so inconsiderate to other shoppers and parkers, not to mention the store employees who have the job of collecting these carts, then perhaps you should try doing their job for a week. It also shows a pattern. If you are too lazy to return your shopping cart, what other corners are you cutting in your life? That is the thought behind the above quote.

A successful person is one who will do what is right and what should be done even when it may not be the easiest thing to do. They will not only think of just themselves, but of the others who could be impacted by there actions. Can you imagine how you would feel if your brand new car was dented and scratched by a shopping cart someone carelessly left in the parking lot? What if you had a sore back and had to park further away because all of the close spots were taken by random carts left by strangers. Maybe you might not even have a cart to use because they were spread throughout the parking lot? Careless actions like this also cause prices to rise. Stores must replace or repair carts that have been damaged or stolen. That price is often passed on to all consumers. Something I am guessing our lazy friend had not thought about.

This leads me to share an amazing story I witnessed the other day. I was picking Margie up from the local craft store as she was picking up supplies for her business while I was writing. As I got out of my car I saw a lady who was easily in her 80’s walking with a walker. Do you know what she was doing? Pushing both her walker and her cart up to the store to return it. My only regret is I did not arrive sooner to help her. She laboriously made her way back to her car with her walker. She had every excuse to leave her cart in the middle of the parking lot, but she didn’t. To me, that woman is a superhero.

Ask yourself next time you are tempted to do a job half way, “What does this say about my character?” Chances are if you are skipping things you deem unimportant, you are also cutting some corners in your life where it really matters. Remember character is built by the actions we take when nobody is watching.

THE PATH TO INNER PEACE

As I sit here full of bliss sipping my green tea at Starbucks, I know not everyone is this lucky. I have found the key to having an amazing life is being grateful for the life you have. I also have found the quote in the picture above to be very true. A quick glance at most social media accounts will show how much we value the opinions of others. There is a lot of ‘He said/she said’. In person I hear people get so excited about what is being said about them. There are two young ladies in particular who I think live to worry about what is the hottest items on the gossip wire. As they come excitedly to me to relay what is being said about who, I great them with the same reply, “Don’t know. Don’t care.”

This line of thought when it comes to both gossip and rude people has brought me more peace than almost anything else I do. When you stop and think about it, what other people think about you is really their business. Sometimes you can learn little things you might improve, but generally gossip holds no redeeming value. I recall when one of those ladies I mentioned earlier was concerned as to what people may be saying to me, she could not tell me enough. Again I gave her my same reply, “Don’t know. Don’t care.” She asked how I could not be concerned as to what people whispered behind my back.. The answer is easy, if they are doing it behind my back, then that is where I leave it – behind me. If those I love and care about have some concern with me and tell it to me personally, I definitely would take the time to discuss it with them. Otherwise, it is not worth the energy and feelings to worry about.

As far as rude, critical, and argumentative people the answer is the same. On one of the Apps I share my positivity on a gentleman became enraged with me. As he continued to place one comment after another on my post becoming more and more angry I did my best to explain that being upset about my writing was not doing him any good. I even suggested he ‘mute’ me on that site so he would not have to see my posts which obviously upset him. He continued throughout the evening to comment and work himself up. He even continued by posting about it the next day. The funny thing about all of this is what he was upset about – my title was in all capital letters. He thought that should be reserved for emergencies, which was his right. My title was 6 letters long. It included the word ‘I’ which should be capitalized as well as the first letter of the title. So, this man was angry for 2 whole days over 4 letters being capitalized.

Margie, in her sweet loving way, always wishes to go online and defend me to these people. Again, I remind her that it really doesn’t matter. The majority of people appreciate what I write and enjoy the content. In fact, in six years, over several social media platforms as well as print there has never been one person to be upset that my title was in all capitals. That is saying quite a bit as I am followed in over 100 countries by over 20,000 people, not to mention the casual viewer.

This man certainly had a right to his opinion. By him getting so upset the only person he really hurt was himself. Buddha had a great quote about anger.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

Anger, like worry, causes the release of acid in the system. Have you ever worried so much you actually started to feel sick to your stomach? Same with anger. Your blood pressure rises, your heart rate increases and your breathing becomes shallow. All of those have negative impacts on your immune system as well as your overall feeling of well-being. You must ask yourself, “Is this worth getting upset over?” I can promise you the answer 9 times out of 10 will be a resounding ‘no’. Do yourself a favor. If you are working to be the best person you can and do the best you can, do not waste an ounce of energy on what other people may be saying. If someone approaches you to tell you all about what this person or that person is doing or saying I suggest giving them my response – “I don’t know and I don’t care.” Your sense of inner peace will thank you.

Chow Down in Milwaukee review for Uncle Paulie’s Brick Oven Pizzeria

In my quest for the perfect pizza place I decided to visit the former home of Mad Dog Saloon to discover what they had to offer. Read my interesting adventure in which I am introduced to a brand new kind of pizza oven, great service and a pictures of the brand new interior. Is Uncle Paulie’s Brick Oven Pizzeria right for you? Click the link below and find out for yourself.

CLICK HERE TO READ UNCLE PAULIE’S REVIEW

REMEMBER WE ARE ALL IN THE PROCESS

It is no secret to anyone who follows this website and my work in general that I have spent over 20 years in the field of self-improvement. One thing that I must remind myself of every so often is the fact that not everyone else has. This may sound silly and an obvious point, but it can be a fact that gets away from me.

When I hear someone constantly complaining about how unfair life is or how terrible their life is, I am tempted to remind them how they do a great deal to create their own reality. We all have challenges great and small. That is part of life. It is really how we respond to life’s challenges that does a great deal to determine how life treats us. There are a lot of people who are ignorant to even that basic equation. I was fortunate enough to be raised in an environment where reading and thinking where encouraged. In the course of reading hundreds of books, listening to just as many CDs and videos as well as attending seminars and listening to as many people as I can I have learned a great deal.

One of the greatest challenges to me is having the patience and understanding to realize although most people have the opportunity to do the same, many have not. When I speak to people about ways they can reduce stress, increase joy and become the best version of themselves, I am often met with resistance and sarcasm. On a rare occasion even violent resistance. It would be easy to come off as condescending, but it serves as a great reminder of many things for me. First off, I am so grateful for all I have been given and all I have learned. My life is far from perfect, but I am constantly discovering new ways to reduce stress and have more happiness in my life. I am also grateful that I do have the life I do. I have friends who love me, a beautiful and loving lady, and supporters from over 100 countries who read what I write.

The second thing I am reminded of is everyone is working towards becoming the best version of themselves. If you don’t believe me, just walk into a gym shortly after the first of the year. Not everyone has the tools to successfully accomplish all they desire. That would be evident by visiting that same gym 30 days after the first of the year and noticing how many less people are there. Still, everyone is giving it their best shot. There are very few people I know who are not interested in improving their lives. Some do not understand the only way to do that is by improving themselves. That is the main focus of my second book.

Some really wish to improve themselves and their lot in life, but lack the necessary tools. Some do not even know where to look for those tools. That is why I am always happy to share what I learn and am still learning. There are those as mentioned earlier who even when given the tools will refuse to believe them. This could be because they have been raised in a negative environment or are so cynical that they are getting in their own way. Those are people I still try to help. Whether that is leaving a card for them when they are ready, or being an example of what it looks like to live life using the tools I put forth.

Let us all do our best to understand everyone is working towards a better life. Even those seemingly following the wrong path may just be misdirected or lacking hope and direction. When we understand that we are all doing the best we can it is far easier to approach others with compassion and a genuine desire to help.