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HUMP DAY REMINDER 🐫

This is an important and much needed reminder. There are so many of us that work so hard to make the world a better place and bring joy to others. Those same people are often the hardest on themselves. Check your inner conversation. Is it motivating? Recently, I noticed that my inner conversation started to lean a little more to the negative than I would care for. I mentioned to Margie, “I need to work on being more positive.” She gave me a look that showed her shock with my statement. I should have been a little more specific. My outer conversation was still very positive. However, my inner conversation was not. Allow me to give you an example. Winter is always difficult for me. The cold, the lack of life, it all has me feeling down. I decided to add a way to help with this. I decided to appreciate the effort and beauty behind the decorations people put up for the holidays.

On the outside I did pretty good. Whether I was with others, or by myself. I would remark, “Wow! That one looks nice.” or “That must have taken a long time.” I did feel better. That was until my inner voice started talking. I am not sure who that person is, but he didn’t have many nice things to say. I heard the voice in my head say, “That one is sloppy.” and “Why did they even bother to put up decorations if they were not going to take their time?” Here I was trying to find beauty and the holiday spirit and my inner dialogue turned into a holiday decoration critic. Then, I started getting down on myself for being negative.

We must remember that we are human. We must be forgiving and compassionate with ourselves. Especially during this busy season. As a solution to combat my newly negative self-talk, I have begun to listen to positive affirmations on the way to work in the morning. It places positive thoughts in my head before my head can come up with negative ones. Remember to be kind to ourselves the rest of the week. In what ways are you kind to yourself?

THE 2 THINGS HAPPINESS IS ALL ABOUT

Today is Friday! At least that is the day this post comes out. Let us go into the weekend refreshing our mindset. In a world where everything is available at our fingertips, or can be delivered to our front door, it is understandable that we live in a state of wanting more. There is always the ‘next big thing’. People want the latest phone, the latest streaming service or the newest thing.

It is not bad to want the best, but at what cost? It is one thing to feel this way with material goods, but seldom does emotion stay in one place. Suddenly we are wanting more from our friends, our family and even our spouse. This not only causes fractures in relationships, but has us living in a state of lack.

When you always want more, then you never feel like you have enough. You feel unsatisfied. Even if you do get more, you still feel empty. What is the solution? Gratitude. When you switch to being grateful for what you do have, you feel abundant instead of lacking. When you do get more, you feel blessed and favored. It is a much happier life.

You can increase that feeling of gratitude when you consider how many problems you do not have. You have an illness or disease? I’m not here to tell you to be happy about that, but consider what you don’t have. There are roughly 20,000 human diseases. We should be glad we don’t have more than we do.

The 2 secrets of happiness are not that complicated. Be happy for the blessings you do have and be grateful for the problems you do not have. If you were to focus on these two things before bed and when you arise, your life would be amazing.

THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON TO IMPRESS

This may be an unpopular stance in a social media and ‘like’ driven world, but we really need to work on the relationship we have with ourselves. The world is filled with people who will do just about anything to get out attention. When your focus is on getting attention and approval from others, they become your master.

The paradox of all of this is that when we are most authentically ourselves is when we are most impressive. An original work of art is always more impressive than a copy. You are most valuable when you are being the truest version of you. Why? There cannot be another. You are that original work of art.

People worry, “What if they do not like me for who I really am?” That is a legitimate worry. If you are trying to be something you are not and someone doesn’t like you, at least you can tell yourself, “They never knew the real me. ” If you are brave enough to be the real you and they still do not like you? That hits deeper.

To that we will go back to our art example. Not everyone likes the same art. Does that make it any less of a work of art? No it does not. You might not be someone’s cup of tea, as the saying goes. They might be a coffee drinker and that’s ok. It does not mean you are not an amazing cup of tea.

Before we get lost in analogy, let us answer a very important question. How do we become impressed with ourselves? We do hard things. We keep our word with others and with ourselves. We never stop working to become the best version of ourselves. When we do these things, we will not be hurt if some people don’t like us.

MINDSET MAKES IT EASIER!

Even those of us who enjoy the gym often have a hard time getting there. I heard a quote once, “The heaviest weight at the gym is the front door. ” Meaning that getting to the gym is the hardest part. I can agree on this point. I love working out. It reduces my stress and provides me energy. After an 8 hour work day, it still takes all the convincing I have to get myself there.

Why, if I know and enjoy all the benefits, do I still have to argue with myself to go? It has a great deal to do with mindset. Looking at the gym as something we have to do instead of something we get to do. So many people who are physically unable to workout would love to trade places with us.

Dick Van Dyke has a great outlook here. It has served him well and can do the same for us. How about you? When you face having to do something you don’t want, what is your attitude about it? Do you have to go to work, or are you grateful for being employed? Do you have to pay your bills or are you grateful you have the funds to do so?

To some this may seem like a small difference, but it will make a big impact on how your like feels and how productive it will be. What is your favorite hack to improve your mindset?

BE CAREFUL NOT TO DO THIS!

In a world that seems with hate and division, this can seem like a very difficult thing to do. The media does our best to convince us the ‘other side’ is evil, or at the very least, less than we are. Our leaders are often examples of the worst of us instead of those we should inspire to become.

When you disagree with someone, there can be the temptation to dehumanize them. It makes it easier to justify our anger and hate. We must caution against doing this. Throughout history, this has what has lead to not only war, but genocide.

Everyone has had different life experiences that have resulted in different beliefs. We must stop to think of we have lived their life, would we believe as they do? Constructive dialog, as well as workable solutions, can only exist when we resist the temptation to dehumanize the other side.

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT!

Whether it is my books or Margie’s bakery, we always appreciate the help we receive from both friends and strangers. Some of the most impactful things people can do is help us get the word out for the many things we do. If you have a friend who offers a local product or service, one of the best things you can do for them is promote them. In a world where there are a million different choices, it is often only the people with the largest amount of cash who can buy the greatest exposure. What you can’t buy is quality and joy that you bring to someone’s life. If you know of a local business that does that, please do one of the activities listed above or something else to assist. It is the only way that little guy can compete with large corporations!

This week try supporting one local business a day. Do that for an entire week or longer and watch your community and friendships grow and blossom. It does not have to cost you anything more than a little time and energy yet it can change your entire community.

USE YOUR OWN RULER

As we approach the start of the week many of us will worry that we are not as far as we should be. This could be in the area of career, finance, relationships or a million other categories. The question we should be asking ourselves is what metric we are using to come to this conclusion? Is it the new house our friend on Facebook bought? How about the new car we saw pull up at Starbucks while we are writing? The couple posting their wedding photos while we are still requesting a table for one? Never, and I repeat – never measure your life using someone else’s ruler.

If you find yourself frustrated with your progress because you are not living up to your own standard, that is one thing. Then, by all means be upset with yourself. If you know you could have worked harder or given more, than it is ok to give yourself a little pain as motivation. If, however, your pain is because you are not as far as someone else even though you have given it your all; stop it. You never know what advantages they may have had. Perhaps it was not advantages, but lack of challenges to overcome? I have quoted Earl Nightingale’s definition of success many times. “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” If you are progressing on your goals and working towards them you are a success. This includes discovering things that do not work. Some may call that ‘failure’ but the more informed know that it is just another step in the process of success.

Comparison really is the thief of joy. Why let comparing yourself to other steal the joy of the progress you made? Everyone evolves and grows at their own pace. As long as you are working on growth and evolvement, than do not look to your neighbor to decide how good your progress is. Instead look at who you were a year ago, or six months or maybe even yesterday! Use your own ruler when measuring your success.

HEY YOU, MIRACLE WORKER!

How many of you saw this headline and thought “Oh, Neil is talking to me!”? I am guessing not to many of you. Still, the truth is that it applies to all of us. We may never know all of the lives we have impacted and miracles we have worked. Have you ever seen the movie It’s a Wonderful Life? In the movie, the main character is shown what the world would look like had he never been born. He is then able to see all of the lives he has impacted and miracles he has created. Far be it from me to give advice to the Creator, but it strikes me that this would benefit many more people than it wouldn’t.

I have been blessed (I can think of no other word to use here) to be told that my words have saved the lives of several people. Just one person would have made this all worth while. On the occasion that I get hung up on the frustration of not being able to reach more people, I have this beautiful lady who reminds me of all the lives I have touched. That doesn’t stop me from wanting to reach more, but it does remind me of the impact I have had. The truth is that we all have that impact. It could be treating a retail worker with kindness when they have had a tough day. It could be someone watching us from afar and being inspired by our actions. If you are a parent, you have already worked many miracles.

How would you live your life different if you stopped and realized that you are indeed are a miracle worker? If you were to stop and consider the impact your actions had on the lives of others, would you be more inspired to be kinder and more inspiring? Well here is your wake up call! You are a miracle worker. You have touched more lives than you will ever know. When the world wants to knock you down, go forth with the knowledge that you have lifted others up. Often without ever knowing. You are a miracle worker.

WE ARE ALL CONNECTED

Today’s post is a little bit of a somber one, but one that can inspire us just the same. I tend to write in a handful of locations. The one I write at most is a Starbucks not far from my house. There are many people who frequent this location as well. There is another author who is working on her first published work. There is a gent from Morocco who paints pictures and a woman who converses with everyone else. Throw into this mix a quiet man who used to bring his own mug and seat cushion. He would sit down and read for hours at a time. This could pretty much be part of my retirement plan.

Much like many of the other people mentioned above, we exist in a sort of distant community. We are all involved in our own worlds, but doing so in the same location. I cannot say that I spoke to the man with the seat cushion and book, but we did give each other a wave and nod occasionally. As I ordered my coffee today, the lady behind the counter informed me he passed away. He was an older gent and passed away peacefully in his sleep. Both of which are probably the best way to experience the transition. As I heard the news it was almost confusing how to react. On one hand, I really did not know the man well. Still, there will be one less piece to the puzzle that is the location I write at.

It started me thinking on how we are all really connected. My grandmother had a plaque on her wall with a simple saying – “You are a stranger here but once.” Meaning that after you meet someone you are no longer strangers. You have a connection. There is another cliche that I have heard over the years. “Strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet.” I would go one further and put forth that we are often connected to people we never met. How can you be connected to people you never met? Take the lady I mentioned earlier. The one working on her book. Even if we never discovered that we were both authors and began talking, we would still both be authors who write at Starbucks. This is a small example. The painter is a man who looks at the work around him and uses it for creative inspiration. That could be the description of this blog in a nutshell.

There are people we share spiritual beliefs with. There will be someone in Greenland who has the same favorite color I do. How many people share your color of eyes? Color of hair? Just because we have not physically met someone does not mean we are not connected with them in some way. Even those who seem to be our enemies, we are still connected to them. We often share the same fears and dreams. We may express them in different ways, but we share them just the same.

As the world becomes more connected through technology, we are beginning to see how many people we are connected with. You would think that with this information, the world would be more understanding and compassionate than ever. I do not have to tell you that is not the case. Sadly, many of us focus on finding people who dislike the same people we do. If we were to get to know one another without judgment, I think we would discover how we are all connected in ways we never would have thought of. Next time you are tempted to judge someone, or think less of them, know that is some way they are most likely connected to you. They may be experiencing the same struggles, be facing the same inner demons or feeling the same loss you are. Let us approach one another with a sense of connection and compassion. Remember the two sayings mentioned earlier. “You are a stranger here but once.” and “Strangers are just friends you have not met.”

GRATEFUL FOR YOUR WEALTH

Many of you reading the title of this post and looking at the picture will find yourself thinking, if not saying, “I wish that was me!” Today’s post is to show and remind you that it is you. You may not be holding bags of cash and have money raining down on you, but you are wealthier than you think. Why is this important? It will help you to feel gratitude for all of this wealth. Why is that important? What you are grateful for, you attract more of. You may not be looking to become wealthy, but money allows us to do many good things including having more to give and help with.

Our wealth does not just come from the money we receive, but in many of the other things we take for granted. Let us start from the beginning. When we were born, there were people there to make sure we received the care we needed that allowed us to grow into the people we are today. As we grew older, many of us were provided an education that we did not have to pay for. Usually our parents covered that cost. We had a house to live in, food to eat and clothes to wear. A recent study stated that it costs roughly $300,000 to raise one child to adulthood. As we become adults, there are many things that we are afforded for free as well. Having a park to walk in. Paintings we can look at. Television shows that were created for our entertainment. Can you imagine having to pay the production costs for each television program we watched?

Then there are the more direct items we are given. Perhaps a friend buys you a cup of coffee? You can win a raffle. Many places give out samples. Every time that you find yourself on the receiving end, that is wealth that you have obtained. Each one of us has far more than you realize. Being grateful for all the abundance you have received in life not only opens the door to attract more, but allows us to see, and feel, how lucky we really are.

JUST A QUICK REMINDER

There is a lot of talk about hustling and the grind out there. I am all for working hard. It is one of the best ways to purify the soul in my opinion. Striving to be the best version of yourself, whatever that may be, should be a goal for all of us. What we should avoid is being miserable through the entire journey. We spend most of our life on the journey. Even when we reach a goal we have been chasing, we celebrate a little and soon set our sights on the next goal to chase.

While it is healthy to pursue continual self-improvement, you do not have to be unhappy with your current state. Yes, things may not be as you wish they were, but there is beauty in that too. The hard days help us not to take the good days for granted. The challenges we go through along the way will help us enjoy the destination that much more. Life has a way of passing by in the blink of an eye. If we delay enjoying it until we reach some finish line, we may find we never get to enjoy it at all.

Today, focus on enjoying the journey. Remember that all of the bumps along the way form the incredible person we are. The strengthen our resilience and patience. They give us stories to tell and credibility to help others. There is beauty in all of life. Slow downn that you may appreciate it all.