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HUMP DAY REMINDER 🐫

This is an important and much needed reminder. There are so many of us that work so hard to make the world a better place and bring joy to others. Those same people are often the hardest on themselves. Check your inner conversation. Is it motivating? Recently, I noticed that my inner conversation started to lean a little more to the negative than I would care for. I mentioned to Margie, “I need to work on being more positive.” She gave me a look that showed her shock with my statement. I should have been a little more specific. My outer conversation was still very positive. However, my inner conversation was not. Allow me to give you an example. Winter is always difficult for me. The cold, the lack of life, it all has me feeling down. I decided to add a way to help with this. I decided to appreciate the effort and beauty behind the decorations people put up for the holidays.

On the outside I did pretty good. Whether I was with others, or by myself. I would remark, “Wow! That one looks nice.” or “That must have taken a long time.” I did feel better. That was until my inner voice started talking. I am not sure who that person is, but he didn’t have many nice things to say. I heard the voice in my head say, “That one is sloppy.” and “Why did they even bother to put up decorations if they were not going to take their time?” Here I was trying to find beauty and the holiday spirit and my inner dialogue turned into a holiday decoration critic. Then, I started getting down on myself for being negative.

We must remember that we are human. We must be forgiving and compassionate with ourselves. Especially during this busy season. As a solution to combat my newly negative self-talk, I have begun to listen to positive affirmations on the way to work in the morning. It places positive thoughts in my head before my head can come up with negative ones. Remember to be kind to ourselves the rest of the week. In what ways are you kind to yourself?

3 THINGS THAT MATTER AT THE END OF THE DAY

At the end of the day it is easy to feel defeated. There are a million things that need our attention. There always seems to be more things to do than there is time in the day to do them. If you are tired of feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and like you have under-achieved, the answer is not necessarily to do more, but to prioritize less. What may seem vital at the moment is often a goal we are chasing to impress others or to further our material or financial state in life. I think we can all agree that although important, those are not vital to a successful life.

Looking at the photo above, we are given three areas which we can review to tell if our life was a success. The first one is to ask ourselves if our loved ones are well. This does not mean that everything is perfect in their lives, but that they are well. Meaning that they know how much we care for them. If they are struggling, we can take what actions we are able to assist and then keep them in our thoughts and prayers as we retire for the evening.

The second is that we have done our best. That does not mean we succeeded in every attempt, but that we gave it our best. This can go for any and all areas of our life. Our career, our relationships, our faith. Whatever area is important to you. If you feel that you could have done better, acknowledge that and vow to do better tomorrow. Staying up beating yourself up over the fact will help nobody, least of all you. Do your best so you can fall asleep with peace in your heart.

Lastly, is that you are thankful. This does not mean you are where you want to be, but that you are thankful for where you are and all that you have. You may want better in both categories, but that starts in being grateful. You can be both dissatisfied and grateful at the same time. Gratitude does so much good for us physically, mentally and spiritually that it would be foolish to not spend a few minutes on it before we retire for the night.

Spend just a few minutes reflecting on these three items before you fall asleep for the evening and watch your life transform.

MUCH OF DEATH HAS ALREADY HAPPENED

This is not a post about how I already died. It is not a post about death at all really. It is more a post about life. You see, we often think of death, if we do at all, as something that is far away. This is a fool’s errand. For the arrival of death is one of the most uncertain aspects of life. It is also what gives life its meaning. The less we ponder death, or live like we have an unending contract with life, we fail to have much meaning in our life.

This quote by Seneca highlights another important aspect of death. It goes to show us how many little deaths we experience throughout our life. Every second of life is like sand through an hourglass. Once it is through, it has passed for good. As an example, let me tell you about the evening I had, and am continuing to have tonight. It began with a nice romantic morning with the love of my life. We went shopping, had a nice homemade breakfast. After which I picked up my mother. We shopped at the grocery store, Trader Joe’s, and went for coffee. All these events were wonderful. They now belong to the past. That is why it is so important to remain present and soak in the moments we have. Before you know it, they are over. In essence, they have died.

You may be thinking, “Neil, you could have breakfast with Margie or coffee and shopping with your mom again.” This is quite true, but it will be a different and new moment. There also exists the possibility that it may not happen again. Once again that uncertainty of life. When you fully understand and appreciate this fact, you will treat each moment like the miracle it is. Even now, I am writing this at home as Margie works on the house. Moments at home with her are precious, even if we are separately occupied. This exact moment will never come again.

In your own life, understand each moment has a life of its own. When it is over, that moment is dead and gone. You can reflect upon it, but you can never go back in time to relive it. Please be present and enjoy life to the fulllest.

A GOOD MAN WITHOUT STRENGTH

This is why it is so important for people of good character, both men and women alike, to be strong physically, mentally and morally. Evil and negativity will test us all. Even those of us with the best intentions may fall short of good character when evil is at its strongest.

That is why self-improvement should be a lifelong and never-ending journey. You never know when negativity will test you. When that time comes, you want to be as strong as can be. Each of the 3 areas feeds the other. That is why improvement in any area is an improvement in all. What have you done to improve today?

7 WAYS TO REMAIN FULLY HUMAN

LIKE THE LOTUS

This weekend make sure to rise above the negativity. Use it as fertilizer and motivation to grow stronger. Let it serve as a reminder that your positivity is not only valuable, but needed in the world today. Let the challenges help you blossom like the lotus in the mud.

FIX THE LEAK BEFORE FILLING THE BUCKET

SAY NO FOR A MONTH

As the busy holiday season approaches, this may be a good idea to try for a month. Saying ‘no’ to anything that drains your energy. Living in a state of drained energy can lower our immune and certainly our spirit. This, of course, does not include calling in to work. Too many of those days and you could create a different kind of stress for yourself. What we are talking about here is making sure you set boundaries and give yourself enough time to rest and recharge. It also includes saying ‘yes’ to yourself and things that help you and your energy. That is just as important.

You may think that taking time to stay home and enjoy a cup of coffee and a good book is being selfish. It is not. If that will allow you to spend time in a crowded store during the holidays without snapping at your fellow shoppers, it is certainly worth it. If taking an extra hour of sleep will help you stay healthy enough to enjoy the holidays with those you love, feel free to say ‘yes’ to that. It may mean having to say ‘no’ to other social obligations that people may try to guilt you into partaking in. This month, give yourself permission to say both ‘yes’ and ‘no’.

TODAY DESERVES YOUR ATTENTION!

What did you hope to accomplish today? Was it some household chores? Was it a passion project you have been working on? Perhaps it was something a bit more abstract? You were intending to get together with that friend you really enjoy spending time with. You wanted to demonstrate your love for your partner. Did you get it done?

Many of us treat life as though we have an unending contract. I am here to remind you today that we do not. Life could end, and it could end today. All it takes is a stranger running one red light. This seems to be happening where I live with an increased frequency. There are a million other possibilities to meet a sudden end that it would take an entire book to chronicle. There was even a show called 1000 Ways to Die on not that long ago.

Is this thought morbid? Perhaps. Is this thought reality? Absolutely! This should scare us a little. What it should do is scare us into action. One day will be our last. What will we leave behind? Will those we love know how much they meant to us? Will we bring to the world all that we had intended to? I’m going to leave you with this quote from Michael Landon to ponder.

2 TYPES OF COFFEE

This picture rings very true. Anyone who drinks coffee can relate. It is also a good metaphor for life. There are things we need to do to keep our life moving forward. There are also things we need to do to slow our life down and feel the gratitude.

Think of your own life? Is it a string of coffee consumed on your morning commute or while your busy working hard to pay the bills? Do you have the cup of coffee with friends and people you care about? Sitting around laughing and enjoying each other’s company? Do you enjoy a cup of coffee by yourself enjoying a good book or maybe just a moment of contemplation?

Life calls for a mix of all 3. It is important to have those moments of slowing down and appreciating the life you have, even if it is not perfect.

3 WILD THINGS YOU SHOULD TRY IN BED

Now that we have your attention, let us talk about something that really will both improve your life and the pleasure in it. Rest. I am as guilty of not giving this enough attention as anyone. You can ask anyone who knows me. I regularly work 50 hours a week, which does not include any of my writing. I hit the gym 3 to 4 days a week. This does not leave much free time.

A lot of us fit into this crazy timeline. There are social and family obligations that need attending to as well. There is also the promotion of the hustle culture. They tell you somehow taking time to rest is a bad thing. Do you know what is worse? Burning out. I had that this afternoon. It was a good reminder that we should really give rest our full attention. It helps both our mind and body heal. It reduces stress and increases immune function.

The most important thing we can do is ensure our quality of rest is good. Far too many of us binge our favorite show or are scrolling through our phones right before bed. The blue light and mental stimulation make it more difficult to fall into a deep sleep. Another aspect is lack of physical exertion. If you have a desk job that involves a lot of sitting, you can feel exhausted at the end of the day from stress and deadlines. Your body, and mind, may still have a hard time shutting down at night. Doing some physical exercise, even just a walk after dinner, will reduce stress and make your body shut down fully.

In addition, the art of getting a good nights sleep can be fun. Maybe play a light musical track or a meditation track? Aromatherapy can help. Light blocking curtains. Different bedding, or sleep positions. The possibilities are endless. The better the rest, the healthier the person and the more productive the person. I would love to know your secrets for getting a good nights sleep.