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HUMP DAY REMINDER 🐫

This is an important and much needed reminder. There are so many of us that work so hard to make the world a better place and bring joy to others. Those same people are often the hardest on themselves. Check your inner conversation. Is it motivating? Recently, I noticed that my inner conversation started to lean a little more to the negative than I would care for. I mentioned to Margie, “I need to work on being more positive.” She gave me a look that showed her shock with my statement. I should have been a little more specific. My outer conversation was still very positive. However, my inner conversation was not. Allow me to give you an example. Winter is always difficult for me. The cold, the lack of life, it all has me feeling down. I decided to add a way to help with this. I decided to appreciate the effort and beauty behind the decorations people put up for the holidays.

On the outside I did pretty good. Whether I was with others, or by myself. I would remark, “Wow! That one looks nice.” or “That must have taken a long time.” I did feel better. That was until my inner voice started talking. I am not sure who that person is, but he didn’t have many nice things to say. I heard the voice in my head say, “That one is sloppy.” and “Why did they even bother to put up decorations if they were not going to take their time?” Here I was trying to find beauty and the holiday spirit and my inner dialogue turned into a holiday decoration critic. Then, I started getting down on myself for being negative.

We must remember that we are human. We must be forgiving and compassionate with ourselves. Especially during this busy season. As a solution to combat my newly negative self-talk, I have begun to listen to positive affirmations on the way to work in the morning. It places positive thoughts in my head before my head can come up with negative ones. Remember to be kind to ourselves the rest of the week. In what ways are you kind to yourself?

BEAUTY IN THE NEAR DARKNESS

Most of you know I leave for work at 4am. On Monday this follows a night of being a DJ that has me home around 1am. That’s a tough turnaround. I have a fairly long commute. Going on 2 hours of sleep it can be difficult to maintain a grateful and positive attitude on occasion.

There are, however, many things that are a beautiful observation should I pay attention. The sun just beginning to rise this time of year created the amazing image above. That one you can’t help but notice. There are a few that are a little more subtle, but just as heartwarming.

About halfway to work I drive down a more secluded and quiet street. I enjoy the lack of stoplights, and the wildlife. One other thing I at every morning is an elderly couple going for their morning walk. They hold hands and look so loving. I hope to be doing the same with my lovely lady when we reach their age.

The point is, even with 2 hours of sleep heading in to a 9 hour workday, there are still plenty of things to make me smile. The only requirement is to be on the lookout for them. How about you? What are some of the things you are grateful for every morning?

WHAT WILL JUNE BRING?

A new month will be upon us tomorrow! Do you have intentions for it? Are you just hoping for the best or do you have actual plans and intentions?

In addition to a new month, June also brings us the start of a new season – summer. This happens to be my favorite season and I plan on making the most of it.

Some of my intentions include, but not limited to, riding my bicycle more. I also plan to do more workouts outdoors. I am going to do more meditation in nature. Increase healthy energy and rest. What are your plans? I would like to hear about them below.

BEWARE OF WHERE YOU SIT

This is why avoiding gossip, whether spreading or listening, it will come back to you. When you have a chance, put an end to gossip unless it is good.

MOST VALUABLE SKILL YOU CAN BUILD

I am not sure this is the most valuable skill to learn, but it does rank up there. Resilience is a vital skill that not only helps us survive, but thrive. It is a skill that not only has to be developed, but maintained. Learning that we have control over our inner environment is a remarkable change in mindset. Yes, challenges can knock us down. It is learning not to stay down that makes all of the differences. Discovering ways to turn negative experiences into motivating or productive moments is the key to success.

Listening to the words of our friendly Roman emperor above, we can see how this skill can be developed. Many of us busy ourselves trying to control a world that is outside of our…well…control. We cannot control the environment, the thoughts and actions of others or a million other variables. What we have complete control over is our interpretation of them. Will we use them as an excuse not to push forward or will we look for a way to put them to work for us? A great first step is learning how to put challenges behind us quickly. We can them revisit them for the lesson when the emotional sting is not that strong.

In what way do you develop the skill of being resilient? Let us share all of our tools and strategies so that we may learn from each other. When you see someone else who is struggling to develop this skill, offer your encouragement. While we are learning to believe in ourselves, the belief of others can go a long way.

WHAT MESSAGE ARE YOU SHARING?

It is no secret that I enjoy writing in coffee shops. One of the ones that I frequent is a Starbucks not far from my house. It is both convenient and friendly. Recently, they were told to start writing messages on cups to make it feel more like a ‘personal experience’. Probably a good idea. It is always good to make a customer feel more like a friend than a number. The message on the cup above confused me a little. Why did they feel compelled to tell me that “different is good”? Do I come across as a ‘different’ kind of individual? The conclusion I came to is that they were giving me inspiration on what to write for this post.

Different is good. Far too many of us are overly concerned with fitting in. We look online and to others to discover what is the latest trends. We spend a lot of money on items not for superior quality, but because the brand is what is hot currently. If you asked someone if they would like shoes that are comfortable and would last, or ones that have the ‘cool’ logo on the side, what would they answer? Logic would dictate the former, but most often people choose the latter. Same with character and behavior. We do and say what all of the ‘cool kids’ are doing and saying instead of what we believe to be the right thing to do. Being kind to and associating with those who may be struggling, is that the cool thing to do? It certainly is the right thing to do. If people look at you as different, that just means you are being true to your character. You are different. We all are. Being an original makes you far more valuable than just being another copy.

Same Starbucks when I went a few days later with my mother for an iced coffee. Completely different message, but one that was inspiring just the same. Both of these messages were very nice of the employees to write on our cups. Both very encouraging. It started me thinking on what messages are we putting out in the world? Is it one letting someone know that there difference is not only ok, but makes them special like in the first picture? Perhaps, much like the second picture, we are just letting someone know that we believe in them and they are loved? Both of those are powerful and beautiful messages.

How about you? What message are you putting out there? You might not be an employee in a coffee shop writing messages on customers cups but you do not have to be. Most of us deal with people in our profession in one way or another. What kind of message are we putting out to them? Even in our private life, what greetings do we give a stranger? Do we acknowledge them at all? There are so many opportunities to spread messages of hope, compassion and love. Are we taking advantage of them? Even wearing a shirt with a simple and inspiring message can go a long way. There are certainly no shortage of clothing with sarcastic, or uninspiring messages. Let us be the sunshine in someone’s day. What message are you spreading and how are you doing it?

IF YOU WANT TO BELIEVE THE WORLD IS BEAUTIFUL

What we surround ourselves with, both people and environment, go a long way in influencing what we think the reality of the world is. It can be hard not to consume all of the information that is being forced at us through a variety of different media. Especially when the world is as crazy as it is right now. I know this is something I have to do better with myself. This is not advocating ignorance. It is just a call to not inundate ourselves with it. A little goes a long way with the news. It is like listening to chicken little tell you that the sky is falling. Sooner or later you are bound to start thinking the clouds are getting a little lower.

There are so many beautiful spots in nature to enjoy. Being out in the natural world, especially if you disconnect from technology for a bit, helps you appreciate all of the beauty that surrounds us. It can be a great reminder that we need when life becomes too busy. When you are out exploring, take time to visit natural areas. Above is a photo I took when Margie and I had visited Negril Jamaica a few years back. It is in a region called Fern gully. All of the places we stay are gorgeous to be sure, but it sure was nice to get out to a peaceful natural area. Seeing different plants that are not native to the region we live in, as well as birds and animals, was so exciting while at the same time peaceful. Just as it is important to get to know local people, I think getting to know local nature is just as important.

You may not be in the financial state to be able to afford an exotic vacation. Not to mention that you should not wait to explore nature until then. Quite the contrary. You should surpass your consumption of news with how many trips into nature you take. Fortunately, for most of us there is nature not that far away. Neighborhood parks and trails provide an opportunity to get lost in nature without leaving your own neighborhood. Above is a picture of the path my mother and I were walking on last year in a local park. As you can see, there was plenty of nature to be observed that day.

Another great opportunity to view nature is to befriend someone who also enjoys exploring nature. This works great whether that person lives near you and can recommend great spots to explore, or if they live further away and share their pictures of places they explore. A great member of this community, Eduardo, lives in Italy and shares many great pictures of the places he explores. I feel like I share in his adventures when I look at them. It is also a great picture of the natural beauty that exists in his corner of the world.

How about you? Can you think of a place of natural beauty to explore and take a break from all of the crazy news out there? Even if exploring is not your thing, or if you are physically limited, you can sit on a park bench and watch the nature around you. Take in the sights, sounds and smells of the natural world. Your soul and spirit will leave refreshed and better able to take on the world. Not to mention your perception of the world will be much improved.

CATCHING UP TO MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS

The other day, our fine friends and WordPress, the platform on which this blog is hosted, sent me this little congratulations. It is nice to be sure, but the total is actually over 3000 posts between 5 and 8am. The funny thing is that it was still nice they noticed we are accomplishing something here. I hope it encourages them to have this site viewed in many more locations. This will help our community of driven and wonderful souls looking to better the world and become the best version of themselves to expand into new corners of the world. This brings us to the next couple of notifications I received.

These two notifications came the very next day. One right after another. In actuality, we are viewed in over 200 countries. Again, it was nice to see that they recognize this, but it did not change how I feel about doing these posts. As I mentioned above, the more places we reach, the more this community can help each other. When I write, I think more of just you. That is right. You, the person reading this post right now. We may not know each other personally, we may even be halfway around the world from each other. What I think about it talking to, and caring for, one person at a time. My writing is not to change the world, but to positively affect one soul at a time. In doing so, I believe that is my best shot at positively affecting the world.

Outside accolades are nice, but they should not be the driving point as to why you are pursuing your goal. If your goal is focused solely on you, outside accolades, or lack there of, will drive or curtail your performance. If your goal is for a purpose bigger than yourself, your motivation is in the goal itself. Find the goal and do not let whether the outside world pats you on the back decide if you want to keep going. Work for your purpose.

THINK OF THOSE WE LOST AND THOSE WHO ARE HURTING

In the United States, we celebrate Memorial Day. It is a day to honor those who died in service to their country. It is heartbreaking to see the amount of war and conflict in the world today. The sick irony is that those who wage war seldom, if ever, have fought personally in conflict. They are men in suits using brothers, sons, daughters and sisters to risk their lives to advance their conflict. When we lose a soldier in a war, it is far more than just a loss of life. It is a loss for friends, family and community. It is a loss of a soul and a heart for the world. There are even leaders who do not respect this ultimate sacrifice. Referring to those who died as ‘losers’. Though they have never been brave enough to face combat themselves.

In addition to all of the loss we experience during war, it does not stop there. In this country, according to recent statistics, we lose more than 17 veterans a day to suicide. The pain and hurt that they experience during war comes home with them. We need to invest more in the physical and mental well-being of our veterans than we are currently doing, This is another cost of war that many of us do not consider.

Knowing all of the pain and loss that war causes, we should do our best to eliminate leaders that perpetuate war and conflict. The loss is too great to allow our leaders to push us into conflicts that are often politically or financially motivated. As we honor those we have lost, we should be inspired to push our leaders to use diplomacy and peace. The best way we can honor our brave fallen soldiers is to make sure their sacrifice motivates us to push that much harder for peace.

THE REAL LUXURY

We touched on this thinking a few posts back with the story of my untimely, and fortunately temporary, death. What is really important in life has very little, if anything, to do with material goods. Beyond the basics of food, clothing and shelter there can only be so much joy to be found in excess of material goods. The irony is that is what a lot of us spend our time and energy pursuing. We work overtime at work to buy a bigger car or a name-brand this or that. These luxuries cannot be taken with us. The ancient Egyptians tried and their stuff is still sitting in the desert. One of my favorite quotes is from Denzel Washington. He said, “You will never see a U-Haul behind a hearse.” That is uncomfortably true.

When we are facing our final days, never are we laying on our death bed wishing for a bigger house or car. No, we would wish for more time with friends and family. In fact, time is the most precious of all the commodities of life. It is with a great deal of irony that we spend little time or energy to make sure we are making the most of whatever time we have. The amount none of us can be sure of. Doing things like living a healthier lifestyle. Reducing stress, eating fairly healthy and making sure we move will not only add life to our years, but could quite possibly add years to our life.

We covered two of the luxuries listed above. What about good company? I love that one. In a world where we are the slave to distraction, why not spend some energy and effort on being more present? It will help us enjoy our good company better. If we are present, we will catch little things that our friends share with us we might otherwise miss. When people leave our lives, we always find ourselves wishing for more time with them. One of the worst emotions to have when we lose someone is regret. “I wish I would have enjoyed the time I spent with them more.” we catch ourselves saying. This only compounds our feeling of loss. How much better would it be to know that we made the most of our time that was given to us?

How about the luxury of a quiet mind? In a world that moves at a mile-a-minute, a quiet mind is priceless. As an author who is currently writing about four different books, some peace and quiet with the voices in my head would be wonderful. How much time to we spend on developing peace of mind? Things like daily meditation and other stress reduction methods are investments in the luxury of peace of mind. So is working on not holding grudges, forgiveness and developing an attitude of gratitude. These are luxuries that we can use every day of our life. These are worth spending our time and money on.

Recently, Margie and I went on a week vacation. It was a memory worth investing in. It captured time, good company and peace of mind. It did, however, require us to be present with each other and what was going on around us. If we would have busied ourselves with thoughts of the obligations we had to return to, complained about the rain or if our food was not done right, it would have been a wasted expense. It is skills Margie and I have worked to improve with every vacation we go on. Our next one should be our honeymoon. We better be present for that one. Invest in the true luxury of life. What other luxuries do you think should have made the list? Share them in the comments below.

A REFLECTION OF YOU

This is a good quote to keep in mind. Many people, when confronted with disrespectful people, want to ‘get back at them’. That is easy to understand. They hurt your feelings, so you want to hurt theirs. If you are a person who wants to live an amazing life that is not the way to go. When someone insults you, it is worth keeping in mind that it makes them look petty and rude. That is, unless we respond in kind. Then, we are the ones who look petty. In the moment it can be very unsatisfying to show respect to someone who does not deserve it. It would be so much more fulfilling to return with an insult of our own. Long-term, this would be a poor reflection of our character.

How can you remember or think of such things in the heat of the moment? That is why studying and memorizing quotes like this can be helpful. Putting them into our minds before we find ourselves in challenging situations can help us respond in a fashion that is a better reflection of our character. That is why it is a great idea to find quotes that help you develop your character and get them inside your head. What are some of your favorite quotes that can help improve your life and character? Please share them with all of us in the comments below.