Featured

HUMP DAY REMINDER 🐫

This is an important and much needed reminder. There are so many of us that work so hard to make the world a better place and bring joy to others. Those same people are often the hardest on themselves. Check your inner conversation. Is it motivating? Recently, I noticed that my inner conversation started to lean a little more to the negative than I would care for. I mentioned to Margie, “I need to work on being more positive.” She gave me a look that showed her shock with my statement. I should have been a little more specific. My outer conversation was still very positive. However, my inner conversation was not. Allow me to give you an example. Winter is always difficult for me. The cold, the lack of life, it all has me feeling down. I decided to add a way to help with this. I decided to appreciate the effort and beauty behind the decorations people put up for the holidays.

On the outside I did pretty good. Whether I was with others, or by myself. I would remark, “Wow! That one looks nice.” or “That must have taken a long time.” I did feel better. That was until my inner voice started talking. I am not sure who that person is, but he didn’t have many nice things to say. I heard the voice in my head say, “That one is sloppy.” and “Why did they even bother to put up decorations if they were not going to take their time?” Here I was trying to find beauty and the holiday spirit and my inner dialogue turned into a holiday decoration critic. Then, I started getting down on myself for being negative.

We must remember that we are human. We must be forgiving and compassionate with ourselves. Especially during this busy season. As a solution to combat my newly negative self-talk, I have begun to listen to positive affirmations on the way to work in the morning. It places positive thoughts in my head before my head can come up with negative ones. Remember to be kind to ourselves the rest of the week. In what ways are you kind to yourself?

HOW TO STAND OUT IN A CRAZY WORLD

Before we get into the actual quote above, I would like you to ponder something. If someone offered to pay you five coins to help them move would you? Most of you would think “No way am I helping someone move for a little bit of change!” I can understand that thought. What if I told you those coins were made of gold? That might change your mind. The value of five coins depends on the value of each one. They could be worth next to nothing, or as in the example of our gold coins, worth quite a bit.

You may be thinking, “That is a great lesson in economics Neil. What does it have to do with living an amazing life?” That is where we get back to the quote above. Words are much like coins. There are many people who talk just to hear the sound of their own voice. Their words are worth less. There are people who gossip. There words, much like those who complain, are actually a negative. There are also people who are thoughtful. There are people who inspire. Their words are worth gold.

How about you? Do you talk because you feel like you need to make noise, or do you only speak when you feel like your words will add something to the situation? Do you use your words for idle gossip or complaining? Bob Marley once said, “Complaints are like prayers to the devil.” I could not agree more. I feel we should all devote more of our time, thought, effort and yes words, to inspiring others. To uplift and encourage others is far better than to point out how they were wrong. Make your words more valuable by using them for good and only when necessary.

SNAKE BITES HAPPEN TO US ALL

This quote seems to logical when it comes to snakes. Why would you try to prove to a snake that it should not have bit you? Even trying to answer the reasons why the snake bit you would do nothing to help you heal from the bite. You first priority would be to heal the bite. Then, if you are so inclined, discover what prompted the snake to bite you in the first place. That way you could avoid being bitten in the future.

Why this is not common sense when it comes to people and the hurt that they cause us is beyond me. Maybe it has to do with emotions that come with it. Perhaps, unlike snakes, they can communicate with us. Still, the logic is the same. When we are hurt by someone, we must first address healing that hurt. It could be asking why it hurt us. Sometimes that answer is obvious. Sometimes it takes a little reflection. Then, we must ask what we need to begin the healing from that. This could involve a great many things. Then we take those actions.

The point of all this is that healing comes from within. If we are waiting for an apology, it may never come. If we are needing a reason why we were hurt, we may never discover it. Snakes are just snakes. They bite because that is what they do. The same holds true for many human snakes. Yes, it could be they felt they were in danger. Yes, it could be that they were injured and hurting which made them more likely to lash out. We will only be able to logically understand this if we heal first. The answers we are seeking may allude us if we are still hurting when we search for them. Some hurts may never heal, but we at least much endeavor to do so before anything else.

THIS IS TRUE WEAKNESS

In a world rank with division and political ideology, changing your mind can feel like, and be viewed as treason. The truth couldn’t be more different.

When we are children, we are understandably changing our mind and growing. Somehow as adults, we are expected to be more rigid in our thinking and our opinions. This is not only incorrect, it is ludicrous! Neuroplasticity, or the ability for the brain to learn and adapt, slows with age. You must ask yourself, how much of this is biological, and how much is social pressure?

When your opinion changes how you align with others in a group, they may be quick to turn on your. It takes strength to go against the tide when new knowledge and facts propel you to do so. Many people will deny facts to maintain an opinion tied to their social identity. It takes great courage to be able to admit, in light of new facts, that your original opinion was incorrect.

When we see others do this, show them compassion. Better yet, respect the strength of character it took take this brave action. Changing your mind when facts change is growth. Not doing so is pride and vanity.

MY PATH TO FINDING THE RIGHT PARTNER

Working in the self improvement field, there are times when people ask my advice on relationships. It doesn’t hurt that I have a relationship most people would love to have. It may appear from the outside that our love comes naturally. That is good. Behind the scenes we both put in a lot of hard work to enjoy the love that we do.

My advice for anytime someone asks is to work on being the best version of themselves. That way, should you discover in the end that you are not right for each other, you not only come out as a better version of yourself than when you started, but you also have far fewer regrets.

The above quote begins “Man to man” but the gender is not important. What is important is that we take the steps listed above, and any other we think will help us improve, to continually improve. We do this as much for ourselves as we do for the person we are in the relationship with. Every aspect of your life improves when you do.

Not in a relationship? That’s great too! Instead of seeing who you can “get” at the current moment, focus on yourself. Work on becoming the best ‘you’ there can be. Keep your eyes open as you do. When the right person comes along, being the best version of yourself gives the relationship the best chance of success.

LOVE THROUGH A CORN DOG?

Last week, I had posted about being on vacation and attending our wonderful state fair. The Wisconsin State Fair brought many fun memories again this year. Great bands, great shows, wonderful food, but most importantly, time with family and friends.

I was lucky enough to have a few days with my lovely lady. We always get a coupon book that makes the whole experience a lot more affordable. One of the foods she enjoys eating during the fair is a corn dog. We were going to grab one a few times, but usually ended up too full by the time we got to the stand.

One day while I was wondering around by myself and missing her, I reached in my pocket and pulled out this corn dog coupon we were going to use. It made me think of how lucky I was to have such a wonderful partner to share things like the state fair with.

In life, there are reminders all around us of the special people in our lives. Reminders of things we should be grateful for. We often dismiss them as everyday objects. Perhaps they mean more to us after a person has passed away.

One of the secrets to an amazing life is to call your attention to these items while they are present. Spend some time pondering what they represent and the people you care about. It will increase the amount of love and gratitude in your life. That, in turn, will make your life more amazing!

WE DID IT! THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP!

A wonderful thing happened on my last night of vacation. As of August 16th, we surpassed the record amount of views we have received on this site… for a year! We still have 4 months to go and have already had more views than last year.

Why is this such a great thing to celebrate? More views equal a larger amount of people joining our community. That means more people who are working towards making this a better place for us all. If you enjoy this website, feel free to share it on your social media pages, tell a friend or promote it in any other manner.

Even better is the fact that we have reached a great number of countries on 6 continents. Spreading the message of positivity and self-improvement across the globe! That’s why working together we can make a change.

WHAT SPARK ARE YOU GRATEFUL FOR?

Yesterday we talked about hope and the importance it plays in an amazing life. Today we are going to ask ourselves another question. That question is “what spark are you grateful for?” Sometimes what is needed in life is the catalyst to ignite the fire of passion that is often extinguished by the daily grind.

That spark can be a place that you find peace and tranquility. It can be a fun activity that makes you forget your troubles for a while. We have been discussing the fact that I have been enjoying the Wisconsin State Fair. It is this joyous event in which I was reminded of another spark in life.

The photo you saw at the beginning of this post was Kathy and Tony. Two amazing people. One amazing couple. I was blessed to know them both when Tony was my dentist. An important side note – he is also the most talented dental wizard I have ever come across. If wanting to go to the dentist was possible, he we be the one to make it happen.

More important than his dental magic, is the fact that both Tony and Kathy are two incredible human beings. They are genuine, and have the amazing ability to demonstrate strength through vulnerability. They also seem to age in reverse. That last part has nothing to do with what we are discussing, but is an unusual fact not common in most people.

What may be the most powerful and inspiring aspect of this amazing couple is their ability to see the good in life, but even more, the good in the people they share it with. There are occasions when we need others to believe in us until such time when we can believe in ourselves.

By being able to see, and articulate the good in you, it makes you want to strive to become the best version of yourself. Case in point my interaction with Kathy and Tony the other day. They inquired about my writing, offering me encouragement. Asked about my upcoming wedding. More importantly, listening to my reply with not only attention, but genuine interest.

I walked away inspired to work even harder to be the best version of myself, and bring even more good into the world. In other words, be the kind of person Kathy and Tony think I am. Having friends like that is a spark everyone should have in their life.

A TERRIBLE RECIPE, BUT A NECESSARY INGREDIENT

Have you ever baked a cake? My beautiful lady and her daughter own a bakery. I’ve seen more bakery than you can imagine. Don’t confuse that with me knowing how to bake. What I do know is that many ingredients play a role in creating the perfect recipe.

Some ingredients change the recipe slightly. If you accidentally forgot them, the dish might be different but it would not be ruined. Others are vital. Forget this one ingredient and you might as well throw the whole thing in the trash and start over. Can you imagine making a cake with no sweetener?

I think hope is the sweetener of life. It makes even the worst situation a little sweeter. Life without hope would be a terrible recipe indeed. As important as an ingredient is, it does not make an entire recipe. Pouring a bunch of sugar in a pan does not create a cake!

The same is true with hope. You cannot rely on hope as an entire life strategy. You must take intelligent action and put forth consistent effort. Those are some of the other ingredients in the recipe of a good life! Just do not forget to keep hope in your heart. It will keep the sweetness in your life.

MAKING LIVES BETTER THROUGH KINDNESS

A few posts ago I mentioned a little act of kindness i found hidden in the Wisconsin State Fair. Here we are again! This act was not hidden. Quite the contrary. It was smack in the center. An activity of a local bank.

When I saw the sign in the first photo, I had to see what it was all about. I was told to take a puzzle piece and write something kind I had done or was done to me. This is a great thing to make people stop and think about in the middle of the festival. Then, you take your puzzle piece and put it on its proper place on a bigger sign. When it was complete it looked like the second picture

Lastly, this whole thing was run by volunteers that were super friendly and helpful. They smiled and shared kindness of their own. To me, this was the perfect activity to conduct where a large group of people was gathered. Activities like this are what can help to bring people together.

THIS IS A CALAMITY!

Few things in life can be so helpful as a purpose. It is not only a light in the darkness, but a compass on the high sea of life. After all, how can you know if you are going in the right direction if you do not know where you are headed?

The first step is deciding on your purpose. For some reason, this is glossed over in most education systems. Your purpose does not necessarily have to even be tied to your career. Your purpose could be to bring as much light and love to everyone you meet. It could be to volunteer to help animals.

Yes, your purpose in life could ultimately be intertwined with your career too, but the point is that it does not have to be. My life purpose is pursued outside of my daily vocation. Yours could be as well. Just make sure you have one. Do not wake up, pay bills and die. That is not what life is about.

Another fact to remember is that you can change your purpose. Yes, you can give your all to something and discover it is not for you. People change. Life changes. Your purpose can change as well. Do not let commitment scare you from deciding a purpose to begin with.

Decide your next port of call today. Then, raise the sails and set out on the journey. If you arrive at your destination, or even just get close, only to discover it is not for you, all you need to do is adjust the sails and change course. Just make sure you are headed towards somewhere.