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HUMP DAY REMINDER 🐫

This is an important and much needed reminder. There are so many of us that work so hard to make the world a better place and bring joy to others. Those same people are often the hardest on themselves. Check your inner conversation. Is it motivating? Recently, I noticed that my inner conversation started to lean a little more to the negative than I would care for. I mentioned to Margie, “I need to work on being more positive.” She gave me a look that showed her shock with my statement. I should have been a little more specific. My outer conversation was still very positive. However, my inner conversation was not. Allow me to give you an example. Winter is always difficult for me. The cold, the lack of life, it all has me feeling down. I decided to add a way to help with this. I decided to appreciate the effort and beauty behind the decorations people put up for the holidays.

On the outside I did pretty good. Whether I was with others, or by myself. I would remark, “Wow! That one looks nice.” or “That must have taken a long time.” I did feel better. That was until my inner voice started talking. I am not sure who that person is, but he didn’t have many nice things to say. I heard the voice in my head say, “That one is sloppy.” and “Why did they even bother to put up decorations if they were not going to take their time?” Here I was trying to find beauty and the holiday spirit and my inner dialogue turned into a holiday decoration critic. Then, I started getting down on myself for being negative.

We must remember that we are human. We must be forgiving and compassionate with ourselves. Especially during this busy season. As a solution to combat my newly negative self-talk, I have begun to listen to positive affirmations on the way to work in the morning. It places positive thoughts in my head before my head can come up with negative ones. Remember to be kind to ourselves the rest of the week. In what ways are you kind to yourself?

WIPE OUT THIS VIRUS!

I am not sure if the quote pictured belongs to the great actor portrayed, but the point is still quite a valid one. In today’s world there are plenty of sources that could infect you with the virus of jealousy and hatred. News stories filled with hate and division. Social Media posts describing the life you should have and how far behind in life you are. Buying into either of these or multiple other sources could infect you with these viruses. Let us take a look at three of the biggest sources of contamination and how to protect yourself against them.

First is the news. Understanding a few things when you read the latest hate and fear-filled nonsense they are putting out will go a long way to prevent the infection. One, negative emotions sell. They profit and benefit by you being afraid or inciting division in your heart and thinking. The next thing to understand is that there are not my kinds of people out there. There are just people. Yes, we may have different opinions or ways of looking at the world, but we are all people. Human beings. We share many things in common as different as we may be. Do not let anyone convince you otherwise. It is a ticket to hate and violence.

It would be best to avoid the news as much as you are able. There is a difference of being informed and inundated. Social Media is something that many are addicted to. Blending online life with real life is so important. Here is an important reminder. YOU get to choose what you see on your social media account. Many say that social media is too negative. If that is the case in your world, start by subscribing to things that inspire and bring you joy. There really are pages for everything! Also, keep in mind most people only post their highlights on social media. You see the pictures after the workout, never when they are hyperventilating on the treadmill. Unless of course you follow my page in which you will see a little of both. Everyone has their own unique set of circumstances and experiences. That means we will achieve and succeed at different times. One is not necessarily better than the other.

Last source of infection is something we cannot always avoid, try as we may. That would be other people. In the world there are many sunshine-challenged people as I prefer to call them. It is why I started this website. Sharing the tools for self-improvement that we learn will benefit us all. It can be difficult to not let someone else ruin our day. Therefore, we must make it a point to include as many inspiring sources, as well as inspiring people, in our lives. Is there someone who makes you smile? Send them a message! Better yet, give them a call. Even better, make time to get lunch or a cup of coffee with them.

Following all of these bits of advice will help prevent you from contracting the terrible virus of hate and jealousy. It can even help cure us if we have already been infected. Take a look at the next post for an additional course of action to increase immunity against this virus!

WHO GETS TO LIVE LIKE THIS?

Have you ever had one of those reminders that give you that kick in the butt you need? We all can fall victim of some less than empowering thinking. On my way to write today i was lamenting that the sun was not shining and I was feeling tired and a little less than inspired. Then a song came on the radio that changed everything.

The song was Who Gets to Live Like This,by Jimmy Buffett. In the song, Jimmy describes his life and how grateful he is for it. Living in the beach, the mail, and money, come by boat. He just has to relax and write songs. Swap ‘songs’ for ‘books’ and that would be the life for me!

I almost fell into the trap of thinking of how far away from this life I was. I live in a climate that is anything but tropical. I must get up at 4am to go to a day job. Then I thought about a post I had recently written explaining how we should be grateful for the blessings we have and the troubles we don’t.

Suddenly, my thinking began to shift to what was amazing about my situation. This morning I woke up and had a cup of Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee. Which is my favorite. I had some breakfast my thoughtful sister brought me. I was able to share both of those with a beautiful lady who happens to be marrying me. Yes, I have to go to a job, but it is only 5 days a week and allows me to pursue my passion.

We often need these reminders. Even those of us well-versed in the field of self-improvement. Here is the quandary and the solution. What do we do when we don’t have an inspiring song come on the radio? We must craft and schedule tools of strategies that inspire us! Develop morning rituals that empower us. Leave the house inspired and grateful! What tools and strategies can you think of that would do this? Share your ideas with the rest of us!

WHY IS THIS SO CONTROVERSIAL?

It is understandable that religion and someone’s spiritual beliefs are a passionate subject. It is also easy to understand that there are strong opinions about beliefs. What I do not understand is why, even if you believe that your beliefs are the only correct ones, would you not be able to respect others who feel the same. It always surprises me how adept religious leaders are at this, but how difficult it seems to be for many of their followers.

I am not here to tell you what to believe spiritually. Nobody has that right. What I will say, however, is that no matter what you believe, it is necessary that we respect the beliefs of others. Yes, even if they are different than ours. This does not mean we compromising our beliefs. It merely means that we are confident enough in our own beliefs to respect the beliefs of others. This one adjustment could help us avoid a great deal of war and violence in the world.

If you enter another’s sacred space, do as Pope Leo did and act respectfully. You would not want someone to disrespect what you believe, why would you do the same thing to another? Let us encourage and be an example of this behavior.

IT IS NOT HOW POWERFUL YOU ARE…

One of the many great tragedies in life is how often we ask children what they want to be, verses how often we ask adults, including ourself, that very same question. There are far too many of us working hard to just make it through the day. We have no lofty goal, no aspiration greater than ourselves. Then we wake up and wonder why we feel so overwhelmed and that our life is meaningless. You want a more meaningful life? Than choose what meaning you are going to give. Decide on the purpose of your life.

We all work far too hard to not give it direction. Imagine getting in your car with no idea where you wanted to go. Would it matter how fast you drove? Of course not. If you have a clear idea where you wanted to go, than no matter the speed, you would be getting ever closer. Even if you encountered a detour in the road, you would still no what direction to go in order to correct the course. If you didn’t, you might think a closed road would be the end of the journey. Life is much the same. If you have a clear purpose and direction for you life, a challenge is a mere course correction, not an end.

Spend a few quality minutes deciding on the purpose and direction for your life. Whenever this subject comes up, I always get the same question, “What if I pick the wrong purpose?” To that question, I will give you two answers. First, you can change your purpose in life and adjust accordingly. When I was very little I wanted to be a whale. Obviously after some learning about biology my answer changed. I have been in a rock band. I have been a bartender. Now I am an author working on my fourth book. If you would have asked the child who was short on his interspecies transformation if he wanted to be an author, he would have said ‘No!’. If you would have asked the rock singer and bartender the same question, neither would have jumped at the chance. As the years have gone by, I have changed and refined the purpose of my life.

Which leads to the second point, you will find out a lot sooner if your purpose no longer aligns with you life if you have one! Not picking a purpose because you are afraid of picking the wrong one makes no sense. It is like skipping an audition because you might not get the part. By not even going you will not fail, but you will also never succeed. You will also feel overwhelmed and like your life has no meaning. Pick a purpose, put your entire actions behind it and see where it goes. If it is not what you hoped, adjust accordingly.

TAYLOR SWIFT DILEMMA

We live in what can only be described as a very unusual time. Maybe the years I have been alive are starting to creep up on me. Before I become the man who yells, “Stay off my lawn!” I want to reflect on something that I find both amusing and perplexing.

At times, it seems there is a new celebrity in the headlines every day. Some for good things, most for things they would rather not be known for. A situation seems to happen time after time. When someone is an up and coming star, the world cheers for them. Once they achieve a certain amount of fame, people look to tear them down. This may not be new to the times, but with the advent of new technologies, it seems to be happening quicker and more intensely than ever. Keeping this in mind, there are some things that we ask of celebrities that are almost unfair.

We are going to use Taylor Swift for an example as I do not think anyone has more followers or influence than her right now. Taylor Swift is primarily a singer and performer. When major world issues outside of music come up, people are asking why she does not use her fame and influence to weigh in on those issues. This creates an interesting dilemma. On the one hand, using your fame for a purpose greater than material gain should be admirable. On the other side will be people telling her to “Stay in her lane.” Both of these hold some merit. There is a motivational speaker I listen to. He is a psychologist and has some insightful thoughts on the human mind and how it works. He often strays into more political issues and environmental sciences and ends up sounding like a fool.

What should we expect celebrities to do? More to the point, what should we do with the influence we have? First, we should understand that we are offering an opinion. We may not have all the facts and must consider everyone’s unique experiences and circumstances. Second, we should, as Bob Marley says in the photo above, make sure our intentions are pure. If we make a mistake we should admit it. If someone else does, we should offer them a little bit of grace. This is especially so if their intentions were pure.

Next time you are tempted to weigh in on an issue, stop to think of this. We may not have millions of followers or the press reporting our every move, but we should act like we do. Be responsible with our words and actions. When we hear an opinion we may not agree with, give that person a little understanding and compassion. We would want them to do the same for us.

THE 2 THINGS HAPPINESS IS ALL ABOUT

Today is Friday! At least that is the day this post comes out. Let us go into the weekend refreshing our mindset. In a world where everything is available at our fingertips, or can be delivered to our front door, it is understandable that we live in a state of wanting more. There is always the ‘next big thing’. People want the latest phone, the latest streaming service or the newest thing.

It is not bad to want the best, but at what cost? It is one thing to feel this way with material goods, but seldom does emotion stay in one place. Suddenly we are wanting more from our friends, our family and even our spouse. This not only causes fractures in relationships, but has us living in a state of lack.

When you always want more, then you never feel like you have enough. You feel unsatisfied. Even if you do get more, you still feel empty. What is the solution? Gratitude. When you switch to being grateful for what you do have, you feel abundant instead of lacking. When you do get more, you feel blessed and favored. It is a much happier life.

You can increase that feeling of gratitude when you consider how many problems you do not have. You have an illness or disease? I’m not here to tell you to be happy about that, but consider what you don’t have. There are roughly 20,000 human diseases. We should be glad we don’t have more than we do.

The 2 secrets of happiness are not that complicated. Be happy for the blessings you do have and be grateful for the problems you do not have. If you were to focus on these two things before bed and when you arise, your life would be amazing.

THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON TO IMPRESS

This may be an unpopular stance in a social media and ‘like’ driven world, but we really need to work on the relationship we have with ourselves. The world is filled with people who will do just about anything to get out attention. When your focus is on getting attention and approval from others, they become your master.

The paradox of all of this is that when we are most authentically ourselves is when we are most impressive. An original work of art is always more impressive than a copy. You are most valuable when you are being the truest version of you. Why? There cannot be another. You are that original work of art.

People worry, “What if they do not like me for who I really am?” That is a legitimate worry. If you are trying to be something you are not and someone doesn’t like you, at least you can tell yourself, “They never knew the real me. ” If you are brave enough to be the real you and they still do not like you? That hits deeper.

To that we will go back to our art example. Not everyone likes the same art. Does that make it any less of a work of art? No it does not. You might not be someone’s cup of tea, as the saying goes. They might be a coffee drinker and that’s ok. It does not mean you are not an amazing cup of tea.

Before we get lost in analogy, let us answer a very important question. How do we become impressed with ourselves? We do hard things. We keep our word with others and with ourselves. We never stop working to become the best version of ourselves. When we do these things, we will not be hurt if some people don’t like us.

MINDSET MAKES IT EASIER!

Even those of us who enjoy the gym often have a hard time getting there. I heard a quote once, “The heaviest weight at the gym is the front door. ” Meaning that getting to the gym is the hardest part. I can agree on this point. I love working out. It reduces my stress and provides me energy. After an 8 hour work day, it still takes all the convincing I have to get myself there.

Why, if I know and enjoy all the benefits, do I still have to argue with myself to go? It has a great deal to do with mindset. Looking at the gym as something we have to do instead of something we get to do. So many people who are physically unable to workout would love to trade places with us.

Dick Van Dyke has a great outlook here. It has served him well and can do the same for us. How about you? When you face having to do something you don’t want, what is your attitude about it? Do you have to go to work, or are you grateful for being employed? Do you have to pay your bills or are you grateful you have the funds to do so?

To some this may seem like a small difference, but it will make a big impact on how your life feels and how productive it will be. What is your favorite hack to improve your mindset?

BE CAREFUL NOT TO DO THIS!

In a world that seems with hate and division, this can seem like a very difficult thing to do. The media does our best to convince us the ‘other side’ is evil, or at the very least, less than we are. Our leaders are often examples of the worst of us instead of those we should inspire to become.

When you disagree with someone, there can be the temptation to dehumanize them. It makes it easier to justify our anger and hate. We must caution against doing this. Throughout history, this has what has lead to not only war, but genocide.

Everyone has had different life experiences that have resulted in different beliefs. We must stop to think if we have lived their life, would we believe as they do? Constructive dialog, as well as workable solutions, can only exist when we resist the temptation to dehumanize the other side.

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT!

Whether it is my books or Margie’s bakery, we always appreciate the help we receive from both friends and strangers. Some of the most impactful things people can do is help us get the word out for the many things we do. If you have a friend who offers a local product or service, one of the best things you can do for them is promote them. In a world where there are a million different choices, it is often only the people with the largest amount of cash who can buy the greatest exposure. What you can’t buy is quality and joy that you bring to someone’s life. If you know of a local business that does that, please do one of the activities listed above or something else to assist. It is the only way that little guy can compete with large corporations!

This week try supporting one local business a day. Do that for an entire week or longer and watch your community and friendships grow and blossom. It does not have to cost you anything more than a little time and energy yet it can change your entire community.