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HUMP DAY REMINDER 🐫

This is an important and much needed reminder. There are so many of us that work so hard to make the world a better place and bring joy to others. Those same people are often the hardest on themselves. Check your inner conversation. Is it motivating? Recently, I noticed that my inner conversation started to lean a little more to the negative than I would care for. I mentioned to Margie, “I need to work on being more positive.” She gave me a look that showed her shock with my statement. I should have been a little more specific. My outer conversation was still very positive. However, my inner conversation was not. Allow me to give you an example. Winter is always difficult for me. The cold, the lack of life, it all has me feeling down. I decided to add a way to help with this. I decided to appreciate the effort and beauty behind the decorations people put up for the holidays.

On the outside I did pretty good. Whether I was with others, or by myself. I would remark, “Wow! That one looks nice.” or “That must have taken a long time.” I did feel better. That was until my inner voice started talking. I am not sure who that person is, but he didn’t have many nice things to say. I heard the voice in my head say, “That one is sloppy.” and “Why did they even bother to put up decorations if they were not going to take their time?” Here I was trying to find beauty and the holiday spirit and my inner dialogue turned into a holiday decoration critic. Then, I started getting down on myself for being negative.

We must remember that we are human. We must be forgiving and compassionate with ourselves. Especially during this busy season. As a solution to combat my newly negative self-talk, I have begun to listen to positive affirmations on the way to work in the morning. It places positive thoughts in my head before my head can come up with negative ones. Remember to be kind to ourselves the rest of the week. In what ways are you kind to yourself?

WHERE THE LIFE YOU SEEK IS HIDDEN

This should be no secret. The life you seek is hidden in the discipline you avoid. We spend so much time dreaming of the life we are hoping to achieve. If we dedicated only a fraction of that time to consistent action, we would be so much closer to achieving that life. We trade long-term achievement for short-term comfort. Where is the body you want? It is in the discipline of meal prepping and saying no to the free doughnuts in the break broom. Where is the great cardiovascular system and strong body you desire? It is in the discipline of going to the gym. The bank account that allows you to sleep peaceful at night? It is in the discipline of saving and forgoing spending on foolish pleasures. How about the blissful family? It is in the discipline of having the hard conversations and working on the communication to prevent further stress.

Each one of these seems like common sense. If we know all of this, how come we do not have health, wealth and happiness? It is because many of us lack the discipline. That is not entirely our fault. When you hear the word discipline, what comes to your mind? Usually, it is either punishment or long laborious hours of hard work. While the second may be part of it, discipline is not punishment. In fact, I would argue that discipline is the key to unlock many of the secrets of success.

In a world where we are looking for ‘hacks’ and ‘quick fixes’, discipline seems like an old-fashioned idea. Attention spans have shortened and that is why so many of us find ourselves struggling. Discipline is the answer to so many of our challenges. If you go to the gym, work out one time, you will notice nothing. If you go for a week, you may only notice some sore and rebellious muscles. Go for 6 months straight and you will begin to see the power of discipline. How many people do you know that start working on improving some aspect of their life, quick a short time later and say it does not work? How about the people who start, maintain it for a short time, quit and then start again. On a constant loop. Not only do they not achieve success, they weaken both their discipline as well as their self-confidence with each failed attempt. If only they had stuck with it, they would have found the life they seek.

DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN!

Last post we discussed the quote, “Some people will never like you because your spirit irritates their demons.” Not only is that quote worth repeating, it is worth pairing with the quote above, “Never let the ugly in others kill the beauty in you.” This can be really hard to do. There is the ability to attack people from behind a keyboard, or through a text message. There is little or no chance of repercussion. This, unfortunately, brings out less than the best in much of humanity.

Their is a social media platform that this blog appears on, I will not mention the name, but it can be very confrontational. I have people attack me because of the way the title of my posts are set. They have attacked me for spreading optimism and positivity. Some people have even said some awful things because they believed my spiritual beliefs and theirs were not the same. This is amusing because I do not generally share my beliefs on this site. No, this site is for anyone regardless of what faith you follow.

When you are doing your best to help people become the best version of themselves through both tools and strategies you have learned, as well as the mistakes you have made, seeing the ugly in humanity can be dispiriting to say the least. I am sure the same holds true in whatever career you are in. Even life in general. The other day I held the door for an elderly gentleman who proceeded to enlighten me with what he found offensive about my appearance. Crazy things like this happen to all of us. It can be hard not to let this affect you.

Was I tempted to think, “I am never opening doors for anyone again!”? Not really. Maybe for that gentleman. Even that isn’t necessarily so. He was an elderly man. There could have been a million things going wrong in his life. He could have been facing a health challenge. That tends to happen more the older we get. He could have just lost someone he cared about. That is another event that happens with greater frequency as we age. Who am I to judge? Those who are the cruelest are often the ones who need our kindness the most. The worst thing we can do is allow their cruelty to affect our kindness. First, as pointed out earlier, we do not know what makes them the way they are. If we were in their exact situation, we may act the same. Second, and more important, is there may be someone else out there who is depending on your kindness. Someone who is just hanging on. Allowing someone to take that away may cost the world more than just your kindness. It may cost everything to someone depending on that kindness. Never let the ugly in others kill the beauty in you.

SOME PEOPLE WILL NEVER LIKE YOU

Here is a sad truth most of us have a hard time grasping – some people may never like you. It could be jealousy, envy, racism, or a host of other issues. There are people in my life that I have never even met that do not like me. When your writing is viewed in over 200 countries, it is difficult not to offend the likes of some. There is a gent that is offended by my sharing of anything hopeful or optimistic. He claims that is giving people a false sense of hope. Perhaps this gent would prefer a world filled with dark and depressing material. To him I say, feel free to turn on the news my good friend. At my day job there are people who dislike me because I am upbeat most of the time. That tends to offend them.

With social media there is a world filled with ‘keyboard rangers’, that is people who say things they would not dare say in person because they feel safe behind a keyboard. With this being the case, you are bound to encounter people who will dislike you because, as the picture states, your spirit will irritate their demons. Knowing this, I hope will help you shrug off their insults or attacks as just what they are – their opinions. Do not let them change your beautiful spirit. More on that next post.

WALK THIS WAY

Not only is the title of this blog the same as one of my favorite songs by the band Aerosmith, but that song happened to be inspired from a line in one of my favorite movies (Young Frankenstein). This blog has nothing to do with Steven Tyler or Mel Brooks however. Instead, it is a change in both mindset as well as the way we carry ourselves.

I imagine many of you who read the words in the photo above dismissed it as some ‘new-age nonsense’. In order to prove to you that there is scientific, as well as personal, proof behind this, allow me to ask you a question. This question I learned from a Tony Robbins talk. It opened up such an interesting paradigm shift, it became an entire section in my second book, Living the Dream. The question is this, “For a million dollars, if I asked you to describe a depressed person sitting behind a closed door, could you do it?” Would their posture be erect or would they be slumped over? Would their eyes be bright and looking up or would they be staring at the floor? Would their movements be energetic or slow and plodding?

How did you know all of those facts about a depressed person that you have never seen? Have you ever been depressed? Chances are your physical stature was much the same. That is because our physical presence can affect our emotions. That is why walking the way that is suggested in the photo above makes so much sense. If we walk around with our head down, dragging our feet and with no enthusiasm, how do you think we will feel? How many people do you know that this is their default state? Have you ever stop to think about this?

Yes, walking around like you have just heard the best news of your life, picturing everything working in your favor may get you some curious looks. That is fine. People can be uncomfortable with something that is different. After a while, do you know what starts to happen? People begin to gravitate towards you. Who would not want to be around someone who carries themselves that way? To, of course, the obvious way this will affect your mood. Life really is about how we feel. If there exists ways in which we can positively affect that, why not make use of them? Here is what happens when your mood is elevated. Your immune system functions better. Your mind is more open to opportunity. When stress comes your way, you will be in far better position to handle it than if you were already depressed when it arrived.

If you would like a more in-depth description of how this works, along with more tools and strategies to improve your life, please check out my book, Living the Dream by Neil Panosian. Available wherever fine books are sold.

STOP WISHING YOUR LIFE WAS BETTER

What an uninspiring title! Shouldn’t we wish our lives were better? I do suppose the title could have read ‘Do not just wish your life was better’. What we are proposing here is not sitting back and constantly lamenting our life is not all that we desire it to be. Instead, turning that desire into action! Wishing your life was better without taking any action is little better than whining.

What if you do not know what action to take? It is my desire to be a best-selling author. Until that happens, I will continue to work on improving every aspect of my writing and do my best to get it into the hands and minds of as many people as I can. It is also important to work on ourselves. Continuing to improve as many aspects of our person as we are able. Becoming the best version of ourselves is a journey without a finish line. That means there are always ways in which we can better our best. That should excite you. This means there is the possibility for your life to improve in ways in which we have not even considered.

If you find yourself wishing your life was better but not taking any action to make it so, ask yourself why? Are you expecting your fairy godmother to come down and grant you a better life? This may sound a bit fantastical. That is because it is. There is no other way to improve your life than to take consisitent action in that direction. Make sure you do not fall into the trap of all talk and no action. Do not just wish your life was better. Make yourself, and your life, better through your actions.

BISON WISDOM

Here is an interesting change in mindset for us to consider. When facing challenges, perhaps leaning into them will help us get through them quicker. We have all procrastinated. We have all done our best to run from or avoid our problems all together. That usually leaves us living a life full of stress. Instead of having a difficult conversation, we spend our time avoiding someone. Instead of addressing our finances, we just do not look at the bank statement. Eventually, the time will come and all of the stress we experienced delaying or avoiding the problem will really be for nothing. It would be far better, and it would be over far sooner, if we faced the challenge head on.

Yes, this is often uncomfortable. What is the alternative? We are filled with stress thinking about and dreading the action until we cannot avoid it any longer? That is only extending the stress. Another great analogy is avoiding going to the dentist for a toothache. Sure, the dentist is the last place most of us, myself included, want to end up. Eventually, the pain will become too great and we will find ourself in the chair with a paper bib attached to us. A short while later, although it may seem like an eternity, the situation will be addressed. In a few days, the pain will likely be gone. All of that suffering we put ourselves through leading up to the appointment could have been avoided by leaning into the challenge and getting the tooth taken care of right away.

How about you? Is there something in your that would be over if you just turned around and faced it? There are times when we do need to rest and recover. That is different than running from a challenge. Most times, the best course of action is to do as the bison do and face the storm head on. It will help us get through it a lot quicker and with a lot less stress.

ADVICE TO A FRIEND

Here is a real-life situation that I wanted to share because it affects a lot of us. Your situation may not be exactly the same, but I bet you can relate in some form or fashion. A gentleman at work asked if he could run something by me that he was dealing with. Always happy to help a friend I quickly said “Yes.” He told me his brother discovered his wife had been cheating on him, was planning to leave him. That of course made him feel worthless and in this case he was thinking of all kinds of unpleasant ways of dealing with the situation.

This friend was very concerned for his brother and could relate. He said that he had tried talking to his brother, but feeling as he did, his brother did not want to talk to anyone. In a desperate situation, he asked me what I would do. Here was my best advice. I asked what his brother was good at. He told me his brother was an expert on music trivia. I told him to tell his brother he had a music question and he knew he was exactly the person who could help him with it. This would do several things for his brother. First, it would help him realize that he did have skills and value. Sure, music trivia may seem insignificant, but when you are feeling useless, anything helps. Second, it will give his brother an opportunity to help someone. This will give a feeling of purpose and value as well. In addition, by giving help, he may feel a little more comfortable asking for help. It would help ‘balance the scales’ if you will. In thanking his brother for the help, it would also give his brother a sense of accomplishment. Letting him know that he did do something good for someone.

What would you have done in this situation? Have you ever found yourself in the same situation as my coworker, or maybe even as his brother? It is so important to know that we all have value. It may not be in the area we are currently wanting it to be, but we are very valuable just the same. The world would be a lot darker without us in it. When we are feeling down, we need to be reminded of all the good we can do. It may be as simple as helping others. Regaining that feeling of value and accomplishment.

On another note, this is why it is so important to remind all of the people in our lives of their value and importance. You never know when they will be hit by something that seems stronger than them. Everyone needs to be reminded of their strength. Think of someone you can do this for today. Do not wait until someone is hurting to remind them how special they are.

YOU AREN’T LAZY

Here is a modern-day problem. With all of the stimulation that we receive, it can be hard to discipline our minds. We can be pulled in a million different directions all at once. We are trying to keep up with our work, our friends in person and on social media, the family and the pile of laundry that seems to grow by the day. We want to get healthier, wealthier and more inner peace. Why does none of this seem to happen?

The answer is in the photo above. We are trying to accomplish too many things all at once. There is an old cliche that asks what happens if you hit a tree with an ax 1000 times in 1000 different places? Not much. What happens if you hit that same tree 1000 times in the same place? You cut the tree down. The same goes for your life. When I was growing up, we were sold the lie of multi-tasking. You are far better off giving your all to one thing at a time and moving on to the next to do the same thing. You will get more accomplished that half-assing a million things all at once. You will do a better job and it will get done quicker if you take them one at a time.

Not to mention, if we try to take everything on all at once, we will become overwhelmed and get nothing done. Then we will look at our lack of accomplishment and come to the conclusion we are just lazy. No. We are just unfocused.

LEARN FROM THE DESERT

How many of us have heard the saying “Don’t know what you got until it’s gone?” Also happens to be a great rock song from the 80s, but I digress. It really can bring us done to think of everything we might have lost, but a slight change in mindset can turn everything around.

There are many things we fail to appreciate until they are gone. Like a job that is barely tolerated until it is lost, and the income that goes with it. The car we complain about until it dies and we are forced to take the bus.

Loss sucks. There is no way getting around that. Using it to foster a greater sense of appreciation, and gratitude, could make it suck a little less.

IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO, DO THIS

So much talk in the self-improvement circles about finding your passion, or finding your ‘why’. I couldn’t agree more that finding, or more importantly, deciding on your life purpose makes life not only more productive but easier. You always know if you’re going in the right direction and if the action you are about to take will serve you well or not.

The question that always comes up is, “What should I do until I decide what the purpose of my life should be?” The answer is in the photo above. Until you know what you should be working on, work on yourself.

Working in yourself should be a life-long journey. We are always learning and growing. The better you become, the better and less stressful your life becomes. Today, if you find yourself not knowing what to do, ask yourself what can you do to move closer to the best version of yourself.