Featured

HUMP DAY REMINDER 🐫

This is an important and much needed reminder. There are so many of us that work so hard to make the world a better place and bring joy to others. Those same people are often the hardest on themselves. Check your inner conversation. Is it motivating? Recently, I noticed that my inner conversation started to lean a little more to the negative than I would care for. I mentioned to Margie, “I need to work on being more positive.” She gave me a look that showed her shock with my statement. I should have been a little more specific. My outer conversation was still very positive. However, my inner conversation was not. Allow me to give you an example. Winter is always difficult for me. The cold, the lack of life, it all has me feeling down. I decided to add a way to help with this. I decided to appreciate the effort and beauty behind the decorations people put up for the holidays.

On the outside I did pretty good. Whether I was with others, or by myself. I would remark, “Wow! That one looks nice.” or “That must have taken a long time.” I did feel better. That was until my inner voice started talking. I am not sure who that person is, but he didn’t have many nice things to say. I heard the voice in my head say, “That one is sloppy.” and “Why did they even bother to put up decorations if they were not going to take their time?” Here I was trying to find beauty and the holiday spirit and my inner dialogue turned into a holiday decoration critic. Then, I started getting down on myself for being negative.

We must remember that we are human. We must be forgiving and compassionate with ourselves. Especially during this busy season. As a solution to combat my newly negative self-talk, I have begun to listen to positive affirmations on the way to work in the morning. It places positive thoughts in my head before my head can come up with negative ones. Remember to be kind to ourselves the rest of the week. In what ways are you kind to yourself?

WHERE TO GO FOR A GREAT RELATIONSHIP

Great relationships. Most of us would really want one. Some of us would really like our relationship to become one. What is the secret? That is a million dollar question. Actually it is a billion dollar question. The amount of money spent on relationship improvement material in a year is astronomical. That means there is a lot of information out there. One of the great ways to tell if the relationship is a good one is to follow the advice above. Go where you are celebrated and not tolerated. Your value should never be in doubt in your relationship. How do you know if you are valued and celebrated? If only there was some kind of sign.

Thursday, the 29th, was my birthday. I made the mistake of working that day. Upon arriving home, this is what I was greeted with. My beautiful lady created this sign and put balloons up around it and on our front porch. Even better, she was waiting there with a beautiful smile. Taking the time to personally create something meant so much to me. When I pulled up, I felt so special. That was the greatest gift. She used her skills, time and talent to celebrate me. My spirit soared and I had a smile on my face and in my heart. What a great feeling to have on your birthday.

Here is the wonderful thing about that celebration, it continues to this very moment. We are not actively doing something. In fact, we are working in two separate locations. How can the celebration continue? Every time that I think of that sign and those balloons and the time she took to put that all together, I cannot help but smile and feel celebrated. That is how a relationship should be. That can be a friendship, relationship or even a coworker. Celebrating others is a key to strengthening the bond between two people. It doesn’t have to be an adorable sign and balloons. An acknowledging word or genuine compliment can go longer than you think.

The wonderful part about this is that it lasts longer than the actual event. As I mentioned how I continue to smile thinking of the love and effort my lady put into that celebration. The next morning when I pulled out of the driveway to go to work and saw the sign it was a great reminder and gave me a great attitude to start the day. Can you see how celebrating others can be a big part of an amazing relationship? How can you celebrate the people in your life that you really care about?

TAKE A WALK!

Just a quick reminder, if you find yourself stressed and overwhelmed, it might be time to take a walk in nature. Not only has nature been shown to provide many physical and psychological benefits. These include, but are not limited to increased oxygen, increased cardiovascular activity and am increase in overall well-being.

There is something else that we hopefully do. That is slow down. Walking through nature is not just to see how fast it far you can go. It is not just about counting steps. It is about counting moments and discoveries.

Some of the things are mentioned in the photo above. If you have a smart phone, which most of us do, you can use Google to identify plants, trees, birds and insects. You will increase your knowledge while reducing your stress. What could be better?

GUESS WHAT TODAY IS?!

I guess the picture gives away the answer to the question the title purposes. Yes, today is my birthday. To me, the day was never that big of a deal. It was great that I was born to be part of this world, but beyond that everyday is a gift for me. This all changed, however, when I met the lovely lady I am with now. Margie has a way of making everything a grand celebration. I think that is one of the major keys to an amazing life – finding someone who enjoys celebrating you and being with you. I have certainly found that in my lovely lady.

Having special people in your life, romantic or not, to celebrate with makes life so much more enjoyable. The best way to create relationships like this is how we treat others. The better we treat others, the more likely they are to celebrate with you. Celebrating the accomplishments, and special occasions, of your friends and family increases bonds and joy between you. It is also more likely to make that celebration more reciprocal. Take an interest in the people in your life and note the dates that are important to them. When those dates arrive, take time to celebrate them.

Here is another thought, it does not have to be the usual important dates. You do not have to wait for a birthday or graduation. You can pick fun days that are important to you, or maybe even just fun, and celebrate them together. As I write this, it is the National Day of the Cowboy. I had no idea such a holiday existed. Again, Margie to the rescue. She bought me a calendar that lists the holiday on each day. If I knew someone into cowboys, today would be a great day to get together and have a good time with them. It is crazy, fun things like this that make life worth living. What gives life its flavor. You could even have a party celebrating the birth of your favorite author?

One of the greatest gifts that I have is when I can engage with the readers of this blog. If you would like to give me a gift today, feel free to leave your feedback, make a suggestion as to what topics you would like us to discuss or just say ‘hello’ and let us know where you are reading this. I hope you all have a great day today. I know thanks to the beautiful woman in my life, I will!

WHAT A CIRCUS!

When it comes to becoming the best version of yourself, Charles Bukowski is not the first name that may come to mind. Like yours truly, he worked for the United States Postal Service. He also shared some of the same opinions of it. He was a drunk and a generally unpleasant person. All of that being said, he does have a good point here. Our mortality should be a great motivation for people to come together. Either they ignore it, put it out of their minds or do not believe death will happen to them. As if they are not subject to the same laws of biology the rest of us are.

When a rather cynical coworker of mine discovered that I also write self-improvement material and am a student of the same, he had an opinion he felt the need to express. “What is the use of trying to improve yourself. We are all just lemmings falling off a cliff. We are all going to die.” I could not argue with him on the last part. Whether we look like a lemming has more to do with who are parents are than how we live our life. This fatalistic view of the world is one that unfortunately far too many people hold. If we are lemmings falling off a cliff, I would argue the point of life is to have the most fun on the way down. You can only have the best life if you are the best version of yourself. That is the entire purpose of self-improvement.

One of the ways in which to improve our life is to embody this quote from old Charlie above. We are all going to die. Do not take too much personally. Do not get hung up on trivial matters. The more rules you have for your enjoyment of life, the less enjoyable your life will be. Instead of finding ways and things in which to be upset, look for and find ways in which to enjoy life. The same holds true for your neighbor. If you want to find reasons to hate your neighbor, you can find them. If you want to find reasons you should invite your neighbor over for a BBQ and a laugh, you will find that too. It is all in what you are looking for.

Charles was right about one thing, we are all going to die. We should use this as motivation. Our time is slipping away right before our eyes. We should find as many ways to drain as much joy out of life as we can. The best way in which we can do that is becoming the best version of ourselves. The best way to have the most enjoyable time with others is to understand that one day we will run out of that time. Use it to laugh. Use it to love. Use it to connect.

HOW TO CREATE YOUR PERSONAL REALITY

The other morning at my day job I was listening to a motivational podcast. Many people ask, “Why after almost 2 decades in the self-improvement field and writing four books and publishing three, do you still listen to self-improvement material?” The answer is quite simple. You can never know everything. There is new information being brought to light all of the time. Becoming the best version of yourself is a life-long journey. There is no finish line.

Another, and perhaps more applicable, reason to listen to different motivational material is that it is presented in a different way. That is why you can have so many successful people in this field. A lot of their messages are the same. What is different is how it is delivered. You may hear something said by Tony Robbins and it may not resonate with you at all. Someone else may tell you the exact same tool or strategy, but in a different manner and you get it. The same holds true for those of us delivering those messages. That was what happened on this particular day.

The saying I heard is one that may be of use to you. Your personality creates your personal reality. To be honest, I do not even recall which person said this. Looking at the way it is worded, I would guess it is Tony Robbins, but I could be wrong. Who said it matters less than what we can do with this. In the two photos above, we see both what makes up a personality and how we can use our personality to fit into a career that would be most beneficial for us. Neither of these are complete lists, but it sure gets you thinking.

Let us take a look at a more personal example that I think will help this make a little more sense. At the afore-mentioned day job, we have a gentleman who stops in every morning. We will call this man ‘red truck guy’ as that is what he drives. His purpose for coming in? The best that we can figure is that he comes in to complain about his life. He comes in before the business is open and gives us a graphic description of how everyone in his life is incompetent in some fashion and how they are all out to get him. This is not an exaggeration. After several minutes, which seems longer, of complaining he departs. Here is the thing, this man creates the life he complains about. He has negative opinions about people based on about every factor you can imagine. He treats them as he views them. Then he acts surprised when these same people treat him negatively. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Our personality is reflected back to us in the life we live. If our personality is warm and welcoming, that is how the world treats us. If, like in the example of our unfortunate fellow above, we find reasons to dislike our fellow man, life will be a negative experience for us. It is a reflection of the 2000 year-old emerald tablet. This said “That which is below is like that which is above.” Many of us have heard the saying, “As within, so without.” That is how our personality reflects our personal reality. Does this mean if you have a pleasant personality your life will not experience any difficulty? Of course not. You will have a life that will be a lot better to deal with those challenges. It will be filled with a lot more loving and supportive souls to assist you on that journey.

VOTE FOR US!!!

Recently, Margie and I found ourselves in a contest for America’s Favorite Couple. When we win, it will give us a nice article in a nationally published magazine as well as some money for our upcoming wedding. It will be a unique chance to share our love story as well as tips for other couples to share and grow their love as well.

As you can see, we made it to the top 15. Below I will share the link if you would like to vote for us. We would be very appreciative for your support.

CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR US AS AMERICA’S FAVORITE COUPLE 😍

A BETTER LIFE NEEDS A BETTER DIET

Last post we discussed growing pains and why they just might be the key to success. If you haven’t read that yet, it just might be worth a look. Today we are going to talk about your diet. If you want better health, it should not shock too many of you that you need a better diet. Certainly the nutrients that you put into your body will determine how much energy you have, how well your immune system functions and even how good your mood is on any day. The food we eat can play a far more impactful role in our life than we may think. That is why our diet should be one of the first things we focus on. There is one aspect of your diet you may not have considered.

Your diet is a lot more than what you eat. It is also what you watch, listen to and read as the picture above says. Have you watched a movie and it puts you in a certain frame of mind? We all know music can help change our state. In my first two books, I give you a great tool to take advantage of this. Now science is starting to show how certain music can help assist the body in healing itself, strengthen the immune system and a great many other processes. What we read and expose ourselves to can influence our state of mind. Do you know those folks who listen to political talk radio all of the time and are always in a good mood? Yeah, me neither.

There are people I like to listen to when I want to get motivated. There are movies I like to watch when I want to laugh. That is true in all of our lives. It is a wise person who notes these ‘dietary’ elements and makes use of them. There are things that we can eat that make us sick (anchovies for me) There are also things that we can eat that we just do not enjoy. (Cauliflower here) We are usually pretty good and taking note of this. Somehow those people whose company brings us down we still hang around. That talk show that always fills us with anger and hate for our fellow humans, that is what we listen to on the way to work. Why?

When looking to get healthy, we must look at all aspects of our ‘diet’. We must also make use of all of them. Add what is healthy and remove that which is bad for our health. That health can be physical, mental or spiritual. We must look at the whole person and the whole diet. There are so many opportunities to improve our health, why not take advantage of as many of them as we can?

GROWING PAINS ARE GOOD FOR SUCCESS

Have you ever heard the phrase “Growing comforts”? Everyone, however, knows about “growing pains”. That is because growth can be painful. It is almost always difficult. Do you wish to grow in your life? In your career? Do you want to grow the love and the passion with your spouse? Do you want to improve the quality in all of your other relationships? How about improving your health? I am guessing if you read a site called Secret2anamazinglife.com, the answer would be ‘yes’ to all of the above.

Here is where the irony comes in. Everyone wants growth. It is natural. You would like your health to be better. You would like you and your spouse to have a closer and stronger bond. You would like to move ahead in your career. If we all want growth, and we all agree that there are ‘growing pains’, why do so many of us seek a life of comfort? The irony is this – if you seek a life of comfort and ease, it will come back to bite you in the end. Les Brown said it best when he gave us the equation, “If you do what is easy life will be hard, but if you do what is hard, life will be easy.”

Every improvement in our life will take our time, our energy and self-discipline. These things are seldom easy. If we are to seek and do just the things that are easy and give us pleasure, our life will begin to suffer. If you do not put the time and effort into growing the love and connection between you and your spouse, it will not stay the same, it will begin to fade. If you are always looking to cut corners at work, do you think your career path will improve? When the company needs to downsize, who will be at the top of their list? If you do not have the self-discipline when it comes to your health, how long before your body begins to fail you? Sure, it is more pleasurable to not exercise and just eat all of the food that tastes good, but where will that leave our health in five or ten years? You know exactly where you will be.

It is for these reasons that you should choose the path of improvement not the path of ease. There may be some growing pains, but there will be growth.

PLEASURE THROUGH PERSPECTIVE

As you look at the title and photo above, many thoughts and questions may come to mind. What does pleasure and perspective have to do with the Lone Ranger? How do either of these things help me with my life? Before we unpack all of that, I want to tell you how this post and this comparison came to be. I want to do that by asking you a question. Have you ever had a childhood memory that is particularly vivid and you cannot understand why? You find yourself asking, “Why on earth did my brain remember this out of everything?” If you are anything like me, you spend far too much time trying to come up with a deeper meaning behind it. As if your brain knows something you do not. Try to wrap your head around that thought.

Here is my memory. When I was a very young child, I would spend the occasional day by my great aunt’s house. Her name was Rose. Lovely lady. That being said, as a very young child, there was not much to do there. It was more an adult place to be. After I was a little older and learned how to play cards, I became a little more interesting to the adults. Prior to this occurrence, there was one way they endeavored to keep the children entertained. There was a wooden box in the garage. In this box there was a handful of mismatched toys. Out of all of them, I can only recall three. There was 2 cap guns. Seldom did these ever include actual caps. They were a gleaming pewter with what was supposed to look like pearl handles. There was also a plastic horse. It was a poor man’s Lone Ranger play set. It could have actually left over from a Lone Ranger set for all I know. When I was young, these were so cool. My cousin and I would create many adventures and both try to be the first to get the guns. Seldom would they be shared. You either had two guns, or you had none. The horse was limited in its entertainment value for two young boys,

Actual family photo from that time

Above is a photo from my great aunt’s house during this time. She is in the front with a scarf on her head. Bonus points if you can pick out a young best-selling author in the photo. After my great uncle passed we seemed to visit the house less. Also, after learning the card games the adults played, when I was there I joined them at the table instead of going to the garage to look for the wooden box. Years passed and I found myself back there. I went into the garage and found the wooden box. The guns and horse did not hold any allure. In addition, the ‘giant’ hill that we conquered with said firearms, was a lot smaller than I had remembered.

I am sure this happens with a lot of our childhood memories. Things look one way when you are four or five, they look quite a bit different when you are forty-five. The lesson that I took from this is that once upon a time, three simple items held the spirit of adventure that could last an entire afternoon. As the brain became more complex and the imagination more dull, they became nothing more than childhood playthings. In reflection, is this why children seem to enjoy life far more than adults? Is this why we can seem to get a burst of energy and enthusiasm when we play with a young child? Perhaps that is the secret to an amazing life?

When was the last time you used your imagination? Can you find an afternoon of entertainment from simple objects? With the advent of streaming services and online gaming, this can seem quaint to some of you. Having the ability to use your imagination to escape reality, if even for a little while, could be considered a super power in this day and age. Why not try having a little adult playtime today? It could relieve stress and increase enthusiasm!

LISTEN TO THE POETS

In today’s crazy world it can be very difficult to not hear from a politician! We have some politicians that seem to be more focused on being on television than doing the job they were elected to do. Alas, it is the world we live in.

The point is that listening to these folks can leave you quite dispirited. We must, at the very least, balance this with some entertaining and inspiring listening. I’m not exactly a poet, although I have written a few poems, but having a few to listen to can pay some good dividends.

News, and politicians, have a chicken little the sky is falling outlook on life. To read and listen to people who ponder the beauty of nature and life itself can be a welcome, if not needed, break. I would encourage everyone to write some poems themselves. You don’t have to show them to anyone or try to get them published. The mere fact of writing them can bring some inner peace.

What are your some of your favorite fun things to listen to? Do you have recreational entertainment? For mental health and well-being it is vital!