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HUMP DAY REMINDER 🐫

This is an important and much needed reminder. There are so many of us that work so hard to make the world a better place and bring joy to others. Those same people are often the hardest on themselves. Check your inner conversation. Is it motivating? Recently, I noticed that my inner conversation started to lean a little more to the negative than I would care for. I mentioned to Margie, “I need to work on being more positive.” She gave me a look that showed her shock with my statement. I should have been a little more specific. My outer conversation was still very positive. However, my inner conversation was not. Allow me to give you an example. Winter is always difficult for me. The cold, the lack of life, it all has me feeling down. I decided to add a way to help with this. I decided to appreciate the effort and beauty behind the decorations people put up for the holidays.

On the outside I did pretty good. Whether I was with others, or by myself. I would remark, “Wow! That one looks nice.” or “That must have taken a long time.” I did feel better. That was until my inner voice started talking. I am not sure who that person is, but he didn’t have many nice things to say. I heard the voice in my head say, “That one is sloppy.” and “Why did they even bother to put up decorations if they were not going to take their time?” Here I was trying to find beauty and the holiday spirit and my inner dialogue turned into a holiday decoration critic. Then, I started getting down on myself for being negative.

We must remember that we are human. We must be forgiving and compassionate with ourselves. Especially during this busy season. As a solution to combat my newly negative self-talk, I have begun to listen to positive affirmations on the way to work in the morning. It places positive thoughts in my head before my head can come up with negative ones. Remember to be kind to ourselves the rest of the week. In what ways are you kind to yourself?

I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW…

Recently, while writing these posts, I noticed that this site had passed a total of 3000 posts. This is post number 3009. That means, if you were to read a post a day, you would have over 8 years worth of reading. The funny thing about this was this milestone was reached while we were busy celebrating a month of gratitude posts. We were so busy creating content that will help us all live an amazing life that we did not even notice we had reached 3000 posts. This brought up a point that I think would be good to revisit.

In our own life we often take time to criticize others. The people who you do not hear doing this are those who are working hard to make the most of their life. Why? Time spent saying something judgmental or critical about someone else is time that could, and should, be used to better your own life. Next time you are tempted to be critical, ask yourself a few very important questions. Is what I am about to say beneficial to me in any way? Would the time I am about use making this statement be better served working on improving my own life? Is my own life perfect? The answers to these questions should be pretty obvious for most of us.

If you want an amazing life, your focus should be solely on your own life. What can you do to become the best version of yourself? Here is a fact that may seem sobering, but can also be liberating. You will never be the best version of yourself. The more we learn and experience in life, the more that we can grow and develop. In the world of self-improvement there is not a finish line. That means there is opportunity to improve every day. When we spend time being critical of others and the life they are living, we are moving further away from becoming the best version of ourselves. We are sacrificing improving our own life to put another life down. It makes no sense and in counter-productive to becoming the best version of ourselves.

THANKFUL FOR CHANGE

There are so many of us that have a negative view of change. “Why can’t the world just stay the same?” they ask. They wish they could go back to a less chaotic time. They look at the past through a sort of rose-colored glasses. Remembering when they could leave their doors unlocked and not worry. Remembering when kids played outside and talked to each other instead of just staring into their phones. They see criminals and social decline everywhere. Being the age I am, I have seen the transition from one of these to the other. I grew up in an era before cell phones and the internet. I would not change that for anything, but it does give me a unique perspective. Change, although it can be scary, it not only constant, it is necessary.

Do you know what else I remember as a child? More graffiti in public restrooms. Less ability to communicate with people halfway across the room. Memories not being captured because someone forgot the camera or they could not see if the picture turned out until the film was developed. I also remember things like cancer and aids being a death sentence. Advances in medicine and technology have saved, or prolonged, many lives that would have been cut short.

Even in more personal examples, change helps us grow and evolve. In my own life I have seen my share of jobs lost, people pass away and health challenges. At the time, I thought “I wish things would not change.” Every time there is a part of me that grows and evolves to rise up and meet that change. Something that would not happen if the change had not occurred.

I understand that change can be scary. It is not always bad, and most often helps our growth more than comfort. Can you think of a change that may have seemed scary or bad at first that you would not undo? One that helped you grow into the person you are today? Change is something that we can…well…change our view of with the addition of gratitude. If you spend a week recording a change a day that you are grateful for, you will realize that if life stayed the same it would not only get boring rather quickly, but ultimately we would not grow or evolve.

SMILING STRANGERS 😃

Last post we discussed an interaction I had with a stranger named Jeff. If you have not read it, have a look. It is an entertaining and brief story. It was a short and pleasant moment with a fellow I may never see again. This altercation not only provided material for a post on this website, but it brightened my day and filled me with gratitude. Can you recall a pleasant interaction with a stranger? Most of us remember rude or disrespectful people a lot more than we remember nice ones. Just the way our brains seem to be wired. The cumulative effect of stacking memories of unpleasant interactions, is that it can lead to a conclusion that most people in the world are unpleasant.

While it is true that there is a demographic of people that we may describe as unpleasant, we are helped every day by people we can often overlook or take for granted. Did you stop for a cup of coffee? Were you greeted nicely? Did someone hold a door for you? Did someone share a smile with you? Even someone listening to what you had to say is such a gift. A person cleaning off a table in a restaurant so you can eat at a clean table. Yes, this is there job, but them doing it and doing it well allows for a more pleasant experience for you. Stop and think of all the nice things that strangers do for you in a day. Even just sharing a smile with you in their busy day. When you do this for a week, it will do two important things for you.

What should be obvious is that it will increase the level of gratitude you enjoy in your life. We have discussed what this will do for you, but suffice to say it will help you in all areas physical, mental and emotional. The more important, and less obvious, is it will help you to see others and the world in a more positive light. When you reflect daily, for about a week, on what strangers did for you, it will help you to see how good people are. It will also help you to see those on your journey as helping you. This will cause you to have a more positive outlook on the world at large. How helpful could this be? You may be asking what those sunshine-challenged individuals did to cause you to feel grateful? Did they help you practice your patience? Give you an example of the person you do not want to be? Remind you how important it is to be decent and kind? Perhaps their poor behavior only allowed your good behavior to shine even greater? There are at least four ways in which a negative stranger can give you something to be grateful for. Imagine how much more we could get from a positive person?

Lastly, turn this around a little. Ask yourself what positive thing you have done for a stranger. You can have a far greater impact on the world around you than you think. Once you begin to take note of things strangers do for you and how they wonderfully impact your life, you will desire to return the favor.

THANKS TO JEFF!

Yesterday morning I stopped at a local Starbucks for a cup of coffee. The gent ahead of me, a middle-aged man, spun at looked at me and yelled, “I thought you were buying coffee!” Never met the man before, but I did admire his pluck. He seemed like a rather jovial gent and I had a few extra bucks, so I bought the man’s coffee.

He went on to introduce himself as “Jeff from Saint Louis”. Informed me his construction company was building a bank across the street. He told me when he travels he likes to get gift cards for random people such as servers and flight attendants. We both mused how good it feels to treat a stranger to a little hospitality. He shook my hand and excused himself back to his construction site.

I approached the counter and after a few minutes of banter with the manager, placed my order. As I presented my app for payment she grinned. “Jeff paid for your coffee.” She said. What do you know? That sneaky Jeff. Ran off before I was able to thank him.

Here is the fun behind this story. Jeff and I will probably never meet again in life. In a matter of a few weeks we might not even remember we met. However, both of us gave each other an unexpected smile. A simple act of reciprocal kindness that made each other’s day. It is how the world, and the people in it, should operate 

Next time you have the chance, pay for someone’s coffee, or muffin or whatever. It might cost you a few bucks, but the unexpected look of joy on a stranger’s face will bring joy to both of your hearts!

STRENGTH THROUGH COMMUNITY

For any of you who follow this blog at all, you have heard me mention the city i live in – West Allis. Recently, this city was named “Strongest city in America”. What does that mean exactly? The award was based on several categories. Including addressing difficult issues such as affordable housing and transportation. Other areas that were looked at were investments in infrastructure and planning for the future.

You can see 2 pictures of my wonderful city above. The categories do not fully capture what makes this city great. We have a mayor dedicated to bringing in new business and making everyone feel welcome. He even has occasional ‘coffee with the mayor’ where he takes questions and meets with the community. Leadership such as this, along with other great city officials are inspiring.

Along with the inspiring local leaders, there are many business owners, new and old, that give West Allis a local feel. From our local breweries and coffee shops, to the cozy new book store pictured above, businesses in this town work hard to earn your business.

West Allis is also full of great community groups. We have many neighborhood associations, and my mother even belongs to the West Allis Woman’s Club. The latter group gives annual scholarships to deserving local students. That sure is a sign of a great community!

I saved the best thing about this city for last – the people! Remember when I mentioned the Woman’s Club giving away scholarships to students? To raise money for that, they have a luncheon with a raffle of items donated by local businesses. So many stepped up to help including a $500 donation from the piercing business pictured above. Bars, restaurants and jewelry stores all donated.

Years ago I won a poetry contest in which I wrote a poem about what makes a city great. You can see that poem in the pavement behind our local library. In it, the point is made that it is not the buildings or the steeples that make a city great, but the people in it. I think West Allis has proven that to be the case and they should be proud of their title as America’s Strongest City.

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING YOU CAN DO TODAY

Who would not want a more beautiful world? These days things are getting a little ugly in many places. We can feel helpless to make any real change. Most of us are not leaders of countries. We are not those who make laws. We do not lead religions or are not celebrities who have millions of followers. Considering these facts, how can any of us hope to make changes that can make the world a more beautiful place?

The answer can be found in our own lives. When we think about who made the greatest difference in our life it was not the government or a celebrity. No. It was usually a kind word from a friend. Perhaps an encouraging word from our parents. A supportive and loving word from our partner can change our life. Even random kind acts from strangers have a greater impact in our life.

The point is simple. If you wish for a more beautiful world, then spread kindness and love to all you meet. It is those interactions that change people’s lives.

THIS AMERICAN ALSO WANTS TO CONQUER GREENLAND!

With all of the wars of conquest happening around the globe and the foolish words and actions taken by the government in this country you may fear I am adding to that. On the contrary. I would like to point out there is more than just one way to conquer a land, or a people. In the world of this blog, we are viewed in over 200 countries. Some, I must confess, to not even have known about prior to them viewing this site. One country that has yet to join our community of motivated people pursuing an amazing life is the country of Greenland. I do understand that it has less people than the city I live in, but I would love to reach and offer some positivity to them.

Have you ever thought about conquering in such a fashion? It can be conquering someone’s hateful heart with love. It can be conquering your own lack of self-discipline to accomplish your goals. It can be helping a friend conquer their self-doubt to love themselves more completely. In this case, I would like to add the wonderful country of Greenland to our self-improvement family. Reaching a whole new country and its culture would be wonderful. We can all learn so much from each other.

One of the best things we can do in this world is to conquer the division and hate that is being put forth. Love your neighbor even if that neighbor is different or holds a different opinion than you. Conquer your own inclination to judge someone just because they are different. These are conquests the world should be pursuing!

EXPLAIN TO YOUR BRAIN

Last post we discussed how self-discipline can help us start our day with a winning attitude. Many people struggle with self-discipline. In a world where almost everything can be a push of a button away, it can be hard to understand the importance of delayed gratification. What is even more difficult for many to understand is why we must do something that we deem uncomfortable or undesirable even if it leads to success later on. A friend of mine once told me, “Why would I want to work out? It makes me sore and I feel fine sitting on the couch watching movies.” That may be true in the moment, but which behavior will we wish we would have acted on ten years down the line?

The answer to that question should be fairly obvious. We would be a lot better off taking care of our health, even if it means a little discomfort in the present. A less-than-enlightened coworker of mine was remarked, “Why should I care about improving my life? We are all going to die. Just like lemmings jumping off a cliff.” Not only is that statement a very depressing outlook on life, it overlooks one important point. We are all lemmings jumping off that cliff. This is metaphorical. I do not believe any lemmings read the post. If we are all going to die what is the point of living? How about to have the most fun we can on the way down that cliff? We should work to squeeze as much out of our life as we can.

Reminding ourself the importance of why we must work to become the best version of ourselves is key to self-discipline. When I think about not wanting to work out after a long day at work or not wanting to write, I think about my beautiful lady and how she deserves to have the best version of me. I think about all of you who read these blogs. There have been several people who have told me how much they impact their day and their life. Would I rather sit in the park and watch the birds on a lovely day? Absolutely. Could I do that after writing for an hour? Yes indeed. When I look back on my life I want to be proud of the life I lived. I can only do that if I exercise my discipline.

TRY THIS IN THE MORNING

This seems like a pretty obvious thing to do. Who would not want to start their day with some positive thoughts? We can all agree that thinking of healing, big dreams, thinking of things that make us happy and picturing our own success would start our day in a good fashion. How come more of us do not do that? Did you do it this morning? I woke up at 4am for work and I can tell you that I made coffee, brushed my teeth, got dressed and got out the door with just enough time to make it to work on time. Why did I not spend at least a few minutes thinking these thoughts?

The reason more of us do not begin our days in a deliberate way is twofold. First, in today’s world most people tend to be reactionary. We wake up and look at our phones. We wake up and listen to the news. We let outside circumstances determine the trajectory of our day. Many of us do not realize there is any other way to live. This is how our parents lived and more than likely their parents too. Is there anything stopping from taking time to decide how to live our life? The answer to that question brings us to the second reason that most of us do not begin our lives in the way the photo above would advocate.

The second reason is the same reason that I did not begin my day with thoughts that would set me up for a happier and more successful day. Looking at the fact that I get up at 4am, have a 35 minute commute and have to be at work at 5am, you may think the reason is time. No, that is the excuse. Yes, I do have to hurry to make sure I get everything done and out the door in time. What is preventing me from spending 5 minutes thinking some positive and productive thoughts? A lack of self-discipline. Could I wake up at 3:55 instead of 4? Sure. Would 5 minutes less of sleep make that great of a difference? Could I have some mantras written out so I could read them to get my mind right? How about a vision board with pictures of my goals or things that I am grateful for? Could I put all of these things in a little binder and have it sitting by the coffee maker to grab and spend a few minutes looking at?

The answer to all of these questions would be ‘yes’. It would not take much to make such a binder. Even to put a few inspiring affirmations on some sticky notes on the bathroom mirror. All it takes is a little self-discipline. Once these items are done, having a morning that begins with empowering thoughts is almost on autopilot. The notes, binder or whatever method you choose to use are right there for you to look at. It becomes part of your morning. Just like making a cup of coffee or brushing your teeth.

It is time for us to stop waking up in neutral and letting the world determine what kind of day we are going to have. It is time to take control of our own destiny and determine our own level of happiness. No phone, no news until we take time for ourselves and our emotional well-being. Are you with me?

MAKE YOUR LIFE MORE ENJOYABLE

This, on the surface, may sound a bit material. I take it with the humor it was intended to have. In other words, life is better when you have something to look forward to. It does not have to be packages. If you are buying too many things, you could get yourself in financial trouble and your house could end up looking like an episode of hoarders. Same with vacation. Trust me, I would take a 6 month vacation twice a year if I could. It would make paying the bills a little tricky.

You can manage these. Small gifts to give to others are nice packages to receive. Even consumables that you can afford for yourself. A vacation doesn’t have to be a tropical getaway. It should, in my opinion, but it doesn’t have to. A weekend away with that special someone or a getaway with friends can be just as exciting.

The important part of this message is to always have something to look forward to in your life. Margie and I pick days to read together, watch a movie or maybe go to the movies or a special place for dinner. Many of these do not cost anything but a little time and commitment. The payoff is that we always have something to look forward to and makes getting through the day far easier. How about you? What are you looking forward to in life? Can you plan something fun?