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HUMP DAY REMINDER 🐫

This is an important and much needed reminder. There are so many of us that work so hard to make the world a better place and bring joy to others. Those same people are often the hardest on themselves. Check your inner conversation. Is it motivating? Recently, I noticed that my inner conversation started to lean a little more to the negative than I would care for. I mentioned to Margie, “I need to work on being more positive.” She gave me a look that showed her shock with my statement. I should have been a little more specific. My outer conversation was still very positive. However, my inner conversation was not. Allow me to give you an example. Winter is always difficult for me. The cold, the lack of life, it all has me feeling down. I decided to add a way to help with this. I decided to appreciate the effort and beauty behind the decorations people put up for the holidays.

On the outside I did pretty good. Whether I was with others, or by myself. I would remark, “Wow! That one looks nice.” or “That must have taken a long time.” I did feel better. That was until my inner voice started talking. I am not sure who that person is, but he didn’t have many nice things to say. I heard the voice in my head say, “That one is sloppy.” and “Why did they even bother to put up decorations if they were not going to take their time?” Here I was trying to find beauty and the holiday spirit and my inner dialogue turned into a holiday decoration critic. Then, I started getting down on myself for being negative.

We must remember that we are human. We must be forgiving and compassionate with ourselves. Especially during this busy season. As a solution to combat my newly negative self-talk, I have begun to listen to positive affirmations on the way to work in the morning. It places positive thoughts in my head before my head can come up with negative ones. Remember to be kind to ourselves the rest of the week. In what ways are you kind to yourself?

NEVER WRESTLE WITH A PIG 🐖

An amusing quote for sure, but one that has a powerful meaning. It is not really about the hoofed animal, but the people who are actually below even them. We are talking about those folks who spend their time gossiping, going behind people’s back, lying and just operating as disrespectful humans.

Just as a pig is home in the mud, these people are at home in despicable behavior. When we try match them in deplorable actions, not only are they more experienced, but we reduce our character by our attempt to emulate them.

When you see someone engage in petty or underhanded behavior, just say to yourself, “another pig in the mud.” Then, move on making sure you rise above their behavior.

*we apologize to any pigs that were offended by these comparisons*

THE BEST ANSWER TO DISRESPECT

It sure does sting when we are disrespected, doesn’t it? Unwarranted personal attacks can hurt for a long time. The first response can be to respond in kind, or even with greater ferocity. We can spend time and energy sharpening our wit to better prepare for the next unexpected insult.

In what is now my 51 years on the planet I have learned this is not only a waste of time, but it steals time from actions that could propel our life to the next level. A far better option is to work hard to create a life that is difficult to attack. It is better for our stress level as well as improving our life.

I understand it can sure feel good to ‘get back at’ someone who disrespects you. What did you get out of that? A momentary feeling of satisfaction? You also gave validation and satisfaction to the person who disrespected you. Yes, you may have said something clever, or made them look foolish. Meanwhile, your reaction gave them satisfaction and took valuable time and focus away from improving your own life.

Next time you are the recipient of disrespect, or an unwarranted attack, walk away. It is not only an option, it is the best option.

AN IRONIC SUGGESTION

When you read this picture many of you may chuckle or laugh out loud. The sad part is that it is true for so many of us. It is not just young people either. There are online senior communities. When I see that, I think to myself how wonderful that is! Still, depending on how their life went up to that point, seniors are just as likely to fall into an online addiction.

Two things become more likely when we spend the majority of our time online. We begin to miss the appreciation of the world around us. This can be noticing new things in your community such as businesses and neighbors. I’ve seen people driving in cars with their heads buried in their phones the entire time. Some of them are even driving!

The second, and even worse, thing to happen is that we give far more importance to what is said, and the opinions of others online. Remember the wonderful online senior communities I mentioned earlier? I also read there was cyber bullying in them! Can you believe that by that age we still haven’t learned how to treat our fellow man? Some people never learn I guess.

Online communities, such as the one we have here, can really offer a lifeline to many. The world can be a dark and cruel  place sometimes. That includes online. Remember to have a healthy social life both online and off. Encouraging others and being on the lookout for when bullying is happening. Use your life for good.

BREAK THE ILLUSION!

I love this quote! Seeing that there is a different way to live can help you level up. Travel does a lot of useful things. It helps us overcome bigotry. Most hate stems from a good deal of ignorance. If you were to get to know how different people and cultures lived, you would find yourself more compassionate and accepting of your neighbors on this planet.

Travel also helps us appreciate all of the things that we do have and enlighten us to that which we can make better. If more people traveled, we could share this very knowledge with each other and work together to make this world a better place even quicker. Travel can be expensive and often difficult. With technology, we can connect with others across the globe easier than ever. We can also visit far away lands and learn about their people.

The internet has caused its fair share of issues. One way in which it can be a benefit to humans is to help connect us with others that we might not have otherwise had the opportunity to meet. We can learn different cultures and what they bring to the world. We can try different recipes and find dishes we enjoy. It can open our eyes to new forms of celebration. It can show us different ways to celebrate our love. In other words, it can show us that our way of living is not the only one available to us. Why not travel today? Literal or virtual.

WHERE TO GO FOR A GREAT RELATIONSHIP

Great relationships. Most of us would really want one. Some of us would really like our relationship to become one. What is the secret? That is a million dollar question. Actually it is a billion dollar question. The amount of money spent on relationship improvement material in a year is astronomical. That means there is a lot of information out there. One of the great ways to tell if the relationship is a good one is to follow the advice above. Go where you are celebrated and not tolerated. Your value should never be in doubt in your relationship. How do you know if you are valued and celebrated? If only there was some kind of sign.

Thursday, the 29th, was my birthday. I made the mistake of working that day. Upon arriving home, this is what I was greeted with. My beautiful lady created this sign and put balloons up around it and on our front porch. Even better, she was waiting there with a beautiful smile. Taking the time to personally create something meant so much to me. When I pulled up, I felt so special. That was the greatest gift. She used her skills, time and talent to celebrate me. My spirit soared and I had a smile on my face and in my heart. What a great feeling to have on your birthday.

Here is the wonderful thing about that celebration, it continues to this very moment. We are not actively doing something. In fact, we are working in two separate locations. How can the celebration continue? Every time that I think of that sign and those balloons and the time she took to put that all together, I cannot help but smile and feel celebrated. That is how a relationship should be. That can be a friendship, relationship or even a coworker. Celebrating others is a key to strengthening the bond between two people. It doesn’t have to be an adorable sign and balloons. An acknowledging word or genuine compliment can go longer than you think.

The wonderful part about this is that it lasts longer than the actual event. As I mentioned how I continue to smile thinking of the love and effort my lady put into that celebration. The next morning when I pulled out of the driveway to go to work and saw the sign it was a great reminder and gave me a great attitude to start the day. Can you see how celebrating others can be a big part of an amazing relationship? How can you celebrate the people in your life that you really care about?

TAKE A WALK!

Just a quick reminder, if you find yourself stressed and overwhelmed, it might be time to take a walk in nature. Not only has nature been shown to provide many physical and psychological benefits. These include, but are not limited to increased oxygen, increased cardiovascular activity and am increase in overall well-being.

There is something else that we hopefully do. That is slow down. Walking through nature is not just to see how fast it far you can go. It is not just about counting steps. It is about counting moments and discoveries.

Some of the things are mentioned in the photo above. If you have a smart phone, which most of us do, you can use Google to identify plants, trees, birds and insects. You will increase your knowledge while reducing your stress. What could be better?

GUESS WHAT TODAY IS?!

I guess the picture gives away the answer to the question the title purposes. Yes, today is my birthday. To me, the day was never that big of a deal. It was great that I was born to be part of this world, but beyond that everyday is a gift for me. This all changed, however, when I met the lovely lady I am with now. Margie has a way of making everything a grand celebration. I think that is one of the major keys to an amazing life – finding someone who enjoys celebrating you and being with you. I have certainly found that in my lovely lady.

Having special people in your life, romantic or not, to celebrate with makes life so much more enjoyable. The best way to create relationships like this is how we treat others. The better we treat others, the more likely they are to celebrate with you. Celebrating the accomplishments, and special occasions, of your friends and family increases bonds and joy between you. It is also more likely to make that celebration more reciprocal. Take an interest in the people in your life and note the dates that are important to them. When those dates arrive, take time to celebrate them.

Here is another thought, it does not have to be the usual important dates. You do not have to wait for a birthday or graduation. You can pick fun days that are important to you, or maybe even just fun, and celebrate them together. As I write this, it is the National Day of the Cowboy. I had no idea such a holiday existed. Again, Margie to the rescue. She bought me a calendar that lists the holiday on each day. If I knew someone into cowboys, today would be a great day to get together and have a good time with them. It is crazy, fun things like this that make life worth living. What gives life its flavor. You could even have a party celebrating the birth of your favorite author?

One of the greatest gifts that I have is when I can engage with the readers of this blog. If you would like to give me a gift today, feel free to leave your feedback, make a suggestion as to what topics you would like us to discuss or just say ‘hello’ and let us know where you are reading this. I hope you all have a great day today. I know thanks to the beautiful woman in my life, I will!

WHAT A CIRCUS!

When it comes to becoming the best version of yourself, Charles Bukowski is not the first name that may come to mind. Like yours truly, he worked for the United States Postal Service. He also shared some of the same opinions of it. He was a drunk and a generally unpleasant person. All of that being said, he does have a good point here. Our mortality should be a great motivation for people to come together. Either they ignore it, put it out of their minds or do not believe death will happen to them. As if they are not subject to the same laws of biology the rest of us are.

When a rather cynical coworker of mine discovered that I also write self-improvement material and am a student of the same, he had an opinion he felt the need to express. “What is the use of trying to improve yourself. We are all just lemmings falling off a cliff. We are all going to die.” I could not argue with him on the last part. Whether we look like a lemming has more to do with who are parents are than how we live our life. This fatalistic view of the world is one that unfortunately far too many people hold. If we are lemmings falling off a cliff, I would argue the point of life is to have the most fun on the way down. You can only have the best life if you are the best version of yourself. That is the entire purpose of self-improvement.

One of the ways in which to improve our life is to embody this quote from old Charlie above. We are all going to die. Do not take too much personally. Do not get hung up on trivial matters. The more rules you have for your enjoyment of life, the less enjoyable your life will be. Instead of finding ways and things in which to be upset, look for and find ways in which to enjoy life. The same holds true for your neighbor. If you want to find reasons to hate your neighbor, you can find them. If you want to find reasons you should invite your neighbor over for a BBQ and a laugh, you will find that too. It is all in what you are looking for.

Charles was right about one thing, we are all going to die. We should use this as motivation. Our time is slipping away right before our eyes. We should find as many ways to drain as much joy out of life as we can. The best way in which we can do that is becoming the best version of ourselves. The best way to have the most enjoyable time with others is to understand that one day we will run out of that time. Use it to laugh. Use it to love. Use it to connect.

HOW TO CREATE YOUR PERSONAL REALITY

The other morning at my day job I was listening to a motivational podcast. Many people ask, “Why after almost 2 decades in the self-improvement field and writing four books and publishing three, do you still listen to self-improvement material?” The answer is quite simple. You can never know everything. There is new information being brought to light all of the time. Becoming the best version of yourself is a life-long journey. There is no finish line.

Another, and perhaps more applicable, reason to listen to different motivational material is that it is presented in a different way. That is why you can have so many successful people in this field. A lot of their messages are the same. What is different is how it is delivered. You may hear something said by Tony Robbins and it may not resonate with you at all. Someone else may tell you the exact same tool or strategy, but in a different manner and you get it. The same holds true for those of us delivering those messages. That was what happened on this particular day.

The saying I heard is one that may be of use to you. Your personality creates your personal reality. To be honest, I do not even recall which person said this. Looking at the way it is worded, I would guess it is Tony Robbins, but I could be wrong. Who said it matters less than what we can do with this. In the two photos above, we see both what makes up a personality and how we can use our personality to fit into a career that would be most beneficial for us. Neither of these are complete lists, but it sure gets you thinking.

Let us take a look at a more personal example that I think will help this make a little more sense. At the afore-mentioned day job, we have a gentleman who stops in every morning. We will call this man ‘red truck guy’ as that is what he drives. His purpose for coming in? The best that we can figure is that he comes in to complain about his life. He comes in before the business is open and gives us a graphic description of how everyone in his life is incompetent in some fashion and how they are all out to get him. This is not an exaggeration. After several minutes, which seems longer, of complaining he departs. Here is the thing, this man creates the life he complains about. He has negative opinions about people based on about every factor you can imagine. He treats them as he views them. Then he acts surprised when these same people treat him negatively. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Our personality is reflected back to us in the life we live. If our personality is warm and welcoming, that is how the world treats us. If, like in the example of our unfortunate fellow above, we find reasons to dislike our fellow man, life will be a negative experience for us. It is a reflection of the 2000 year-old emerald tablet. This said “That which is below is like that which is above.” Many of us have heard the saying, “As within, so without.” That is how our personality reflects our personal reality. Does this mean if you have a pleasant personality your life will not experience any difficulty? Of course not. You will have a life that will be a lot better to deal with those challenges. It will be filled with a lot more loving and supportive souls to assist you on that journey.

VOTE FOR US!!!

Recently, Margie and I found ourselves in a contest for America’s Favorite Couple. When we win, it will give us a nice article in a nationally published magazine as well as some money for our upcoming wedding. It will be a unique chance to share our love story as well as tips for other couples to share and grow their love as well.

As you can see, we made it to the top 15. Below I will share the link if you would like to vote for us. We would be very appreciative for your support.

CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR US AS AMERICA’S FAVORITE COUPLE 😍