If I were to invite you to play a game would you do it? Most of my friends love games and would be happy to say yes to this question. Now, what if I were not going to tell you how to win the game? Would you still want to play? Most people might decide against it or decide they could figure out the goal of the game. Now what if I also told you I wouldn’t tell you the rules of the game? Most people would not be interested in playing a game with me under those conditions. I could not really say that I would blame them for not wanting to play. Now what if I asked you to wager your very life on the outcome of this game? You would probably think I’m nuts! While my sanity is always in question, this is actually what most of us do every day when we wake up. What is your reason for getting up in the morning? One of the great secrets to an amazing life is having a great answer to this question. Is it to pay the bills? Make it to the weekend? Let us face it, if your goal five days a week is to make it to the 48 hours,some of which would be filled dreading the return of Monday, you are my living the dream. One of the great secrets is deciding what winning the game means to you. Attach yourself to a purpose greater than yourself. This is a secret to the happy, to the motivated, to the accomplished. So ask yourself, what is the goal of my game of life? Attach yourself to a purpose bigger than yourself. Do you want to bring more joy to the world? Reduce domestic violence? Your purpose should ideally be something you can do in the course of your life of as well as profession. Tomorrow we will discuss rules of the game and how to know you are following the rules of your game
Month: May 2015
LESSONS FROM THE ISLANDS PART ONE
Today as I sat at work mowing the lawn I thought about how long it has been since I’ve been on a tropical vacation. After much deep thought and contemplation the answer came to me, far too long! It was then a conversation between a bartender and I in the city of Negril came to mind. The bartenders name was Sabian. I recall him asking me the usual “what do you do for a living?”. Which is when I told him I was an inspiring self-improvement author. He then asked me why I had not become a self-improvement author yet. I explained I had not completed my book and he inquired as to why that was the case. As I started to list my reasons why I could see the smile on his face getting bigger and bigger. He was almost to the point of laughing when I had to ask what was so funny. He told me “do not confuse self improvement with by yourself improvement. You have to get off your ass and not just sit around being an ass.” seeing that I was not quite sure if he was calling me an ass he explained further. ” I make a list of fashions I take every day towards my goals.” he said. I have heard lots of motivational people talk about listing ideas that you could do towards your goal but never actually writing down what actions you took. Then he put his own spin on it. “keep it between you and Jah(god) ” I asked him why and the answer he gave was very insightful. ” because a man may lie to others and he may lie to himself but he will never lie to Jah” so for this weekend think of one goal you are trying to aspire to. For the next week make a list of all the actions you do towards that goal. Oh and if you liked today’s blog post feel free to contribute towards my next trip to Jamaica
IT’S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD
Here is a conversation I had with gentleman while tending bar the other night. Let begin by saying this man is into self improvement and motivation in his own way as well so quite often we discuss such ideas. Recently this man has went through some tough times in his life. He found himself in some pretty difficult situations. A lot of what the took for granted has suddenly been taken away. By his own admission he did not respond in the healthiest fashion possible. He made some poor choices,or certainly ones that someone in his position of motivating others should do. I think at one time or another we have all found ourselves in this position. Life throws us under the bus and we not only lay there we end up trying to pop the tires on the bus. Why not? It is natural to feel frustrated, angry we were given all of these challenges.
Still, being angry and frustrated is one thing, staying there is another. So what happens when we do? What happens when we let life make us bitter? When we give up on doing the right thing? When we stop appreciating all the good life is still giving us? Life slaps us back. When we complain about life and adopt a “why me?” attitude life often continues to give us something to complain about. Until we change our thinking it seems to continue on and on. A vicious cycle. So how to break that cycle? The first part is awareness. This gentleman suddenly realized how far from everything he believed he had drifted. Next is to figure out how to use our pain instead of it using us. What made sense to this man was life was doing just what his mother used to do to him as a child. As he told me “when I screwed up when I was young my mom used to whoop my ass, now life is doing the same thing” essentially that is what happens. Sometimes life gives us a whooping because we are on the wrong path. Just like mom when we were young,however, it is for our own good. Now this man, like he did when he was young is learning his lesson. He is humble and more determined than ever to help and inspire others. So if life seems to be giving you a beating, look for the lesson, be grateful, be humble and let it make you more determined than ever!
SEE THE LIGHT, BE THE LIGHT
Today has been an amazing day. Have you ever had one of those days when the drama and toils of life seem to be unable to touch you? I stopped and tried to figure out what lead me to have such a joyous day. It started in the morning. The love of my life has cup of coffee ready for me when I woke up. We left to purchase some cake supplies she needed as she is the most talented cake designer i have seen. We then stopped at a little bakery for coffee and a snack before she began to create and I headed off to work. While there everyone seem to be in a good mood when I ran into them. As I write this i have just returned from the grocery store. Everyone there seemed happy too. Upon reflection it occurred to me, my lady had me in such a great mood that is what i brought to each of these situations. The people were actually responding to my happiness with that of their own. Now, maybe you don’t have a person in your life as divine as i do and belive me i have never met one, but there is a point to be made. Do your best to start your day on the most positive thought you can. Surround yourself with inspiring people, perhaps listen to inspiring talks or music on the way to work, or even better as soon as you get out of bed. Looking for more ideas? Check out some in my book “A Happy Life for Busy People ” available on Amazon.com or think of some of your own. The important point here, if you wish to see the light, the easiest way is to be the light. So inspire others this weekend and see what happens!
SLOW DOWN…AND PICK ONE
So last Monday as I was behind the bar working at the local place i do, which for the record is called the local, i heard a fun little idea I’d like to share. Often i run my ideas past my bar customers as a first run before they make it into a book or this website. On occasion they return the favor by giving me a few of their own. Here is one such idea. I was telling a young man my ideas to bring joy to the world when he held up his hand and yelled”slow down!” followed by “you can’t make everyone happy” i was about to reply with if you attempt to make everyone you meet happy you will probably succeed with most, but I paused to see if he had more. I am sure glad I did. “would you like to know what I do?” he asked. I am always looking for new ideas so I listened closely. “i pick one” my confused look received this explanation I decide on a group of people and go out of my way to make them happy. It could be cashiers one week, servers the next. Sometimes I pick people based on their car. If I see a red van i make sure to wave. I inquired if he was exclusive to this group of people, but he explained they are just the ones he pays extra attention to.
So here is your homework for this weekend. Pick a group of people, any group. Blue cars, postal workers, bartenders. And pay a little extra courtesy to them. Do so for a week. Have fun with it, see what groups you can come up with. I’m going to try blonde djs who also make amazing specialty cakes, but that is just to keep my home life happy. So go ahead and try this weekend. Feel free to leave a comment on Monday and let me know how it worked for you
WHAT I LEARNED FROM SAMMY HAGAR
After completing my book “A Happy Life for Busy People ” i sent copies to celebrities who i thought may both enjoy reading it as well as help promote it. The copies included an invitation to be a part of my second book. Several people responded with form letters, some emails,but one gentleman set down to write me a handwritten note about the book. This gentleman was sent a copy because he personifies a person happy with life and on for with passion for each day. That happens to be the subject matter covered in my book. The person in question was Sammy Hagar. Most of you may know him as a solo performer as well as the lead singer of the rock band Van Halen for a period of time. He also owns the resort Cabo Wabo as well as the tequila of the same name.
So what great information did i learn from his letter? It wasn’t so much what was inside as the fact this busy man took time to sit down and hand write me a letter. If course it was a chance to be grateful,but more than that it reminded me the importance and effect that reaching out to others can have. We may not all be celebrities, but we all have an area of expertise that we can share with others. In the last few months i have been approached by several people looking for advice on writing their first book. Currently I work 7 days a week at 5 different jobs. So time for myself and with my beautiful lady is precious. Still every time i am tempted to say no i recall how good it felt to receive that letter from a rock n roll icon. Ask yourself, what area of knowledge are you able to lend a hand to others in? Is there someone you could encourage that would really inspire them? I have learned that everything from my writing experience to the divine love a share with my Margie can inspire. So i put forth this idea, think of ways you can inspire and help those around you. Do it today and you will be surprised who may help and encourage you.