Tag: Neil Panoisan

3 WILD THINGS YOU SHOULD TRY IN BED

Now that we have your attention, let us talk about something that really will both improve your life and the pleasure in it. Rest. I am as guilty of not giving this enough attention as anyone. You can ask anyone who knows me. I regularly work 50 hours a week, which does not include any of my writing. I hit the gym 3 to 4 days a week. This does not leave much free time.

A lot of us fit into this crazy timeline. There are social and family obligations that need attending to as well. There is also the promotion of the hustle culture. They tell you somehow taking time to rest is a bad thing. Do you know what is worse? Burning out. I had that this afternoon. It was a good reminder that we should really give rest our full attention. It helps both our mind and body heal. It reduces stress and increases immune function.

The most important thing we can do is ensure our quality of rest is good. Far too many of us binge our favorite show or are scrolling through our phones right before bed. The blue light and mental stimulation make it more difficult to fall into a deep sleep. Another aspect is lack of physical exertion. If you have a desk job that involves a lot of sitting, you can feel exhausted at the end of the day from stress and deadlines. Your body, and mind, may still have a hard time shutting down at night. Doing some physical exercise, even just a walk after dinner, will reduce stress and make your body shut down fully.

In addition, the art of getting a good nights sleep can be fun. Maybe play a light musical track or a meditation track? Aromatherapy can help. Light blocking curtains. Different bedding, or sleep positions. The possibilities are endless. The better the rest, the healthier the person and the more productive the person. I would love to know your secrets for getting a good nights sleep.

THE GOAL IS NOT TO HEAL THE WORLD

It may shock you to read the title of this post. Normally, we are all about healing the world. I feel this post provides one of the best ways in which people can heal the world. That is by healing themselves. We have all heard the saying that only hurt people hurt people. There is a great amount of truth to that. Think about when you are having a great day. Even if you experience some trouble, it does not seem to bother you that much. Now, imagine that in a broader context. How much less would people and life bother you if your soul was free from hurt?

I recognize that this may sound flippant. In no way am I inferring that healing yourself is easy. Merely, we are saying that to embark on a journey of self-healing is one of the most powerful actions you can take to heal the world. Another way is to help, or at least support others who are on their own journey of healing. Sharing tools and strategies you learn that have helped you heal is another great step. When we all heal the hate and hurt in our hearts, the world will begin to heal. I think it is one of the greatest things we can do for not only ourselves and those we care about, but for the world at large. Take the time, heal yourself.

EVEN MONKEYS FALL FROM TREES

As some of you may know, I am currently working on a book that chronicles my 23 years of bartending. I am not sure what will be next. Maybe a book on my years in the post office. If so, the following story may very well be included in that volume. It is also a good lesson for all of us to remember. Not only for work, but for life in general.

One of my jobs working for the great United States Postal Service was to travel to different offices and train the staff on how to work with the public. It was one of my favorite jobs that I have held there. Some people were a little difficult to work with. Some were a little easier. There were an exceptional few that required very little training at all. They just had the gift of connecting with the public. One such lady I trained that fit into the category was Young Kim. She was a Korean woman who smiled a lot and was a natural when it came to the job. There was little I had to tell her. That left my coworker Dave and I plenty of time to explore which kind of coffee we enjoyed best while working.

Towards the end of her training, Young made a mistake you would expect someone to make on their first day. Before I could mention anything or correct her, she spun around and said to me, “Do not say anything! Even monkey fall from tree!” Immediately I got. It was that she did not know what to do, she just made an honest mistake. She did not let it slow her down and went on to have an amazing career making everyone she dealt with very happy. We should all be that way. Not letting our mistakes get us down. Even experts mess up. It happens. We are human.

Next time you make a mistake. Take corrective action, if possible. Do not be hard on yourself. Just remind yourself, “Even monkeys fall from trees.”

AN EYE FOR AN EYE

Good day my friends at Secret2anamazinglife!! Thank you for part of this community in this crazy world. To me it seems there is more conflict and division than there has been in quite some times. Whether that is conflict between nations or division that can turn into hate between political parties. How can we go about solving all of this? It is quite a tall order, but I optimistically believe it can be done. The tricky part is that it must start with a very difficult step.

Most of us have heard the saying, “An eye for an eye.” That comes from the bible, but actually from a Babylonian code of conduct. It means that whatever you do to me, I am going to do for you. That is pretty much how the mafia ran operations. It is how things are done in the world of gangs and drug dealers. If you were to take a step back and think of what all of those situations have in common, you may find a rather unsurprising common denominator. It is the same one that keeps regional and global conflicts raging as well as people at each other’s throats over politics. Which, might I say, is rather foolish. It is never ending violence and vengeance.

Here is the tricky part. When someone does something bad to you, whether that is perceived or real, you feel the need to balance the scales. Sometimes are justified at that. Let me ask you a question. When does it end? Some of the conflicts now raging in the world have the root of their hatred going back thousands of years. It will take someone to stop the need to get back at the other party. Here is the tricky part. It often has people looking and feeling weak. They did something to me and I ‘let them get away with it’. If you get back at them, then they have to get back at you. This will make it necessary for you to get back at them…you see where this ends up.

That is why the quote above is so powerful. An eye for an eye does make the whole world blind. It must stop! Let us be an example in our personal world. Let us stop the need for revenge.

THE PURPOSE OF ART

Let me begin this post by admitting I am no art master. I enjoy a good painting or play. I can appreciate the talent it takes to pull of a performance in an opera or sculpt something. As for myself, I write books with questionable grammar and draw a mean stick figure. I do, however, understand how vital art is to the human spirit. Yes, I did use the word ‘vital’. How many times in discussions of budgets how art is something ‘extra’. It is not. Without some form of art, the world becomes a collection of gray moments. We turn into robots that just wake up, pay bills and die. Life ceases to have any sort of enjoyment.

Does this sound overly dramatic to you? Ask yourself what do you do for entertainment? You could be a painter. You could enjoy doodling. You could enjoy creating floral arrangements or decorating a cake. If you are the woman I am about to marry, you could enjoy all of them. Maybe you like to run? Do you just like to sit home and watch television? Do you enjoy meeting friends for coffee? There is an artform to just about everything. If you take art out of our world, the human spirit slowly begins to die. When you have people who have a spirit full of dust then things like family, friends and life itself lose their meaning. Is art vital? Imagine living your life without creating, or enjoying the benefits of any form of art. Then tell me that art is not vital.

AMOUNT OF GOOD THINGS IN YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON THIS

One of the craziest things that I hear is when people tell me that they always expect the worst so they will never be disappointed. They somehow think this protects them against a level of hurt. It actually does the opposite. How do you think it feels to go through life constantly expecting it to go to hell. Not very good. In addition, it shows how little these well-intentioned folks know about how life works. Even putting aside the law of attraction, let us look at the scientific basis as to why this is not your best is not your best course of action.

The brain has something called the ‘reticular activating system’. In simpler terms, think of it as a filter. It tells your conscious mind what is important to notice. We are exposed to millions of bits of information every second. What sounds are around us, how our clothing feels against our skin, how our neighbor smells or how we smell. Plus a million other things. If we tried to focus on them all, we would go crazy in a short period of time. Therefore, there is this miraclous part of our brain that picks and chooses what is important. The easy example I use for this is when you buy a certain kind of car, or are even thinking of buying a certain kind of car. Suddenly, you see that car everywhere! Did the world suddenly make more of the very car you had purchased or were thinking of purchasing? The answer is both yes and no. No obviously the actual quantity of these cars had not increased. It is just that they became more important to you so then you were more likely to notice each one. Yes, because by noticing each one of these cars, in essence, that increased the amount of them in your reality.

What does seeing more of a car have to do with the secrets to an amazing life? Plenty. The reticular activating system uses the same methods for lots of things in our life. If your brain is filled with dread and expectation for the worst senerio, guess what you are actually increasing the likelihood of experiencing in your reality? Much like our car example, challenges may not even increase in reality, but they will increase in how they appear in your reality. Just like the world didn’t make more cars, but suddenly you are seeing them everywhere. There isn’t more doom and gloom in the world, you are just noticing more.

You also steal the feeling of positive expectation. Many of these people will tell that having a positive expectation will make you feel more hurt if the thing does not happen. Is that true? Perhaps marginally. If you consider the amount of time we spend on the journey verses the destination, you will begin to see the power in changing the way you travel, or go through life. Most of our life is a journey. If yours is a journey of always expecting the worst to happen, it will be a very somber and unhappy journey. If you life a life of positive expectation, you will live a life filled with optimism and excitement. Even if there is the occasion let down when something doesn’t go quite as you hoped. Then again, if you live a life of positive expectation, you would just assume this detour would be setting you up for a bigger win later on.

You are going to have ups and downs in life no matter what. How you feel between them is based on what attitude you carry with you. That is why Einstein said the most important question is whether we live in a friendly universe. Why? Our answer to that question determines how we will experience this life we are given. As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right. ”

WHERE THE LIFE YOU SEEK IS HIDDEN

This should be no secret. The life you seek is hidden in the discipline you avoid. We spend so much time dreaming of the life we are hoping to achieve. If we dedicated only a fraction of that time to consistent action, we would be so much closer to achieving that life. We trade long-term achievement for short-term comfort. Where is the body you want? It is in the discipline of meal prepping and saying no to the free doughnuts in the break broom. Where is the great cardiovascular system and strong body you desire? It is in the discipline of going to the gym. The bank account that allows you to sleep peaceful at night? It is in the discipline of saving and forgoing spending on foolish pleasures. How about the blissful family? It is in the discipline of having the hard conversations and working on the communication to prevent further stress.

Each one of these seems like common sense. If we know all of this, how come we do not have health, wealth and happiness? It is because many of us lack the discipline. That is not entirely our fault. When you hear the word discipline, what comes to your mind? Usually, it is either punishment or long laborious hours of hard work. While the second may be part of it, discipline is not punishment. In fact, I would argue that discipline is the key to unlock many of the secrets of success.

In a world where we are looking for ‘hacks’ and ‘quick fixes’, discipline seems like an old-fashioned idea. Attention spans have shortened and that is why so many of us find ourselves struggling. Discipline is the answer to so many of our challenges. If you go to the gym, work out one time, you will notice nothing. If you go for a week, you may only notice some sore and rebellious muscles. Go for 6 months straight and you will begin to see the power of discipline. How many people do you know that start working on improving some aspect of their life, quick a short time later and say it does not work? How about the people who start, maintain it for a short time, quit and then start again. On a constant loop. Not only do they not achieve success, they weaken both their discipline as well as their self-confidence with each failed attempt. If only they had stuck with it, they would have found the life they seek.

DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN!

Last post we discussed the quote, “Some people will never like you because your spirit irritates their demons.” Not only is that quote worth repeating, it is worth pairing with the quote above, “Never let the ugly in others kill the beauty in you.” This can be really hard to do. There is the ability to attack people from behind a keyboard, or through a text message. There is little or no chance of repercussion. This, unfortunately, brings out less than the best in much of humanity.

Their is a social media platform that this blog appears on, I will not mention the name, but it can be very confrontational. I have people attack me because of the way the title of my posts are set. They have attacked me for spreading optimism and positivity. Some people have even said some awful things because they believed my spiritual beliefs and theirs were not the same. This is amusing because I do not generally share my beliefs on this site. No, this site is for anyone regardless of what faith you follow.

When you are doing your best to help people become the best version of themselves through both tools and strategies you have learned, as well as the mistakes you have made, seeing the ugly in humanity can be dispiriting to say the least. I am sure the same holds true in whatever career you are in. Even life in general. The other day I held the door for an elderly gentleman who proceeded to enlighten me with what he found offensive about my appearance. Crazy things like this happen to all of us. It can be hard not to let this affect you.

Was I tempted to think, “I am never opening doors for anyone again!”? Not really. Maybe for that gentleman. Even that isn’t necessarily so. He was an elderly man. There could have been a million things going wrong in his life. He could have been facing a health challenge. That tends to happen more the older we get. He could have just lost someone he cared about. That is another event that happens with greater frequency as we age. Who am I to judge? Those who are the cruelest are often the ones who need our kindness the most. The worst thing we can do is allow their cruelty to affect our kindness. First, as pointed out earlier, we do not know what makes them the way they are. If we were in their exact situation, we may act the same. Second, and more important, is there may be someone else out there who is depending on your kindness. Someone who is just hanging on. Allowing someone to take that away may cost the world more than just your kindness. It may cost everything to someone depending on that kindness. Never let the ugly in others kill the beauty in you.

WALK THIS WAY

Not only is the title of this blog the same as one of my favorite songs by the band Aerosmith, but that song happened to be inspired from a line in one of my favorite movies (Young Frankenstein). This blog has nothing to do with Steven Tyler or Mel Brooks however. Instead, it is a change in both mindset as well as the way we carry ourselves.

I imagine many of you who read the words in the photo above dismissed it as some ‘new-age nonsense’. In order to prove to you that there is scientific, as well as personal, proof behind this, allow me to ask you a question. This question I learned from a Tony Robbins talk. It opened up such an interesting paradigm shift, it became an entire section in my second book, Living the Dream. The question is this, “For a million dollars, if I asked you to describe a depressed person sitting behind a closed door, could you do it?” Would their posture be erect or would they be slumped over? Would their eyes be bright and looking up or would they be staring at the floor? Would their movements be energetic or slow and plodding?

How did you know all of those facts about a depressed person that you have never seen? Have you ever been depressed? Chances are your physical stature was much the same. That is because our physical presence can affect our emotions. That is why walking the way that is suggested in the photo above makes so much sense. If we walk around with our head down, dragging our feet and with no enthusiasm, how do you think we will feel? How many people do you know that this is their default state? Have you ever stop to think about this?

Yes, walking around like you have just heard the best news of your life, picturing everything working in your favor may get you some curious looks. That is fine. People can be uncomfortable with something that is different. After a while, do you know what starts to happen? People begin to gravitate towards you. Who would not want to be around someone who carries themselves that way? To, of course, the obvious way this will affect your mood. Life really is about how we feel. If there exists ways in which we can positively affect that, why not make use of them? Here is what happens when your mood is elevated. Your immune system functions better. Your mind is more open to opportunity. When stress comes your way, you will be in far better position to handle it than if you were already depressed when it arrived.

If you would like a more in-depth description of how this works, along with more tools and strategies to improve your life, please check out my book, Living the Dream by Neil Panosian. Available wherever fine books are sold.

STOP WISHING YOUR LIFE WAS BETTER

What an uninspiring title! Shouldn’t we wish our lives were better? I do suppose the title could have read ‘Do not just wish your life was better’. What we are proposing here is not sitting back and constantly lamenting our life is not all that we desire it to be. Instead, turning that desire into action! Wishing your life was better without taking any action is little better than whining.

What if you do not know what action to take? It is my desire to be a best-selling author. Until that happens, I will continue to work on improving every aspect of my writing and do my best to get it into the hands and minds of as many people as I can. It is also important to work on ourselves. Continuing to improve as many aspects of our person as we are able. Becoming the best version of ourselves is a journey without a finish line. That means there are always ways in which we can better our best. That should excite you. This means there is the possibility for your life to improve in ways in which we have not even considered.

If you find yourself wishing your life was better but not taking any action to make it so, ask yourself why? Are you expecting your fairy godmother to come down and grant you a better life? This may sound a bit fantastical. That is because it is. There is no other way to improve your life than to take consisitent action in that direction. Make sure you do not fall into the trap of all talk and no action. Do not just wish your life was better. Make yourself, and your life, better through your actions.