WHAT I LEARNED FROM NOT GETTING A TATTOO

Let me begin this by saying I have nothing against tattoos. In fact, this is a picture of my beautiful Margie’s arms, tattoos on both. I admire people who have the bravery to get a tattoo. The reason I have never gotten a tattoo is that I cannot think of many things I like on a consistent basis. Even people I admire have changed over the years. My favorite band is Ratt, but as of late they have become the most dysfunctional drama-filled mess. I used to be a big fan of Lance Armstrong. I admired how he overcame his cancer and went on to win several bike races. I could have gotten a tattoo of him. Then he came out and admitted he cheated and used performance enhancing drugs.

This got me thinking about what I do for happiness in my life. If you place your happiness in the hands of other people, no matter how wonderful they may be, they will at some point let you down. People are different and that is just how the world goes. Same with attaching your happiness to material things. Money can come and go. A hurricane can come and blow down your house you invested years and quite a bit a money on. As the saying goes don’t put the key to your happiness in somebody else’s pocket.

What, then do we have our happiness depend on? Make it internal. Things like our Faith, our sense of hope and those things that are eternal. In the above example, my lovely lady wanted to place her love for both singing and her mother on her arms. Those are things that come from inside her. It would do us a great service to spend some time on compiling a list of things that bring us joy that come from inside. Those are the things we should put our focus on. If we want true joy in our lives we should enjoy all of what life has to offer, but place our focus on what comes from the inside.

THE DIFFERENCE A SPACE MAKES

I enjoy the reminder is this picture. As we begin the week are we mindful or is our mind full? Taking time to focus on filling our minds with specific things we desire such as relaxed visions of our goals and dreams or things we are grateful for is perfectly wonderful, but that is not what our minds are usually full of is it? No, usually we have passwords, a code to our ATM card, everything on our ‘to do list’ and we can throw in doing our best to remember to pick up toilet paper from the store before we find ourselves in a most unfortunate situation.

Being mindful has an entirely different meaning. Being able to keep in mind the feelings of those around you is important. Being able to keep yourself in the present will help us realize how much beauty surrounds us every day. I use the example of taking your car to the grocery store by yourself. Upon arriving looking around and wondering who drove. I have been guilty of this myself a time or several. Our thoughts can be so busy with the next thing we never appreciate the current thing. Is was John Lennon who said, “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.” 

With most of us walking around with our faces buried in our cell phones, we may miss the beautiful sites of nature. As we drive to work worried about all we have to do once we get there, we may miss the fabulous new coffee shop that just opened, or even just the beautiful weather outside. As we wait impatiently for our specialty coffee drink to be created, we fail to notice how hard the employees are working, the wonderful smells in the café or all of the interesting people who are enjoying their day there as well.

Life is full of moments. We owe it to ourselves to enjoy each and every one of them to the fullest. We do not want to arrive at the end of life wondering where it all went. We want to go peacefully filled with the blissful and loving memories of a life well lived. Today, don’t just have a mind full take a moment to be mindful.

MY WEEKEND MESSAGE

Our message going into the weekend is a simple one. I won’t take up too much of your valuable Friday. The message is this – you deserve to be happy. We all deserve to be happy. One of the best ways to experience happiness yourself is to help others achieve the same.

This weekend, do your best to do these two things. First, allow yourself to be happy. Realize you deserve it. Give yourself that gift. You have been through a lot. I can say that because I know we all have. Whether you are dealing with the stress of running a multi-million dollar company or wondering if you will have enough money to pay the rent, the stress is there. Take a break. Go for walk, buy yourself a balloon or whatever else makes you happy.

The next bit is equally important. When you give yourself that gift of bliss, share it with someone else. Not only  because they too are going through challenges, but because it will amplify your own good feelings. Honestly, doesn’t helping others feel good make you feel good? I know it does for me. Have a great weekend and I look forward to sharing more with you on Monday!

ALONG THE JOURNEY

If you read posts on a blog like this you are an individual who is focused on bettering themselves and their life. That is great. Here we will provide you tools to do just such a thing. We discuss such various topics as goal setting, vision boards, and many other options.

When you embark on your journey it is important to include one very important item on the list – enjoy the process. Including joy on your journey to self-improvement is essential. Life is meant to be enjoyed. We are going to spend most of our lives on a journey. If we postpone our joy until we reach our destination, our happiness will be far and few between.

How do you remain happy while working to improve your situation? Gratitude. While you are going to school to get a better job, be grateful for the job you have while you are doing so. Working on your relationship? Be grateful you have one to work on. Working on getting into a relationship? Be grateful for the opportunity to start anew.

It may seem like you are never reaching the top of the hill, but you must look around and be grateful for the walk. When it comes right down to it, we must be grateful for the struggle. It is the lessons that help us grow and be stronger. Make being genuinely joyful an important part of your life. Do so by being grateful.

YOU ARE NOT CELEBRATING ENOUGH

It is amazing where inspiration can come from. In the course of my 20+ years in the field of self-improvement, I have filmed at least 3 YouTube videos at cemeteries, wrote about eulogies countless times and funerals just as many. Perhaps that is because at no time is the value of life more apparent then at the moment of death. When we witness the loss of someone else’s life, it really causes us to reflect on our own. It is my sincere goal that through these posts as well as my other mediums, you may not wait until that moment to look inward.

Another source of inspiration was delivered to me the other day at my day job. While working industriously near the radio at the Post Office, a commercial came on for a funeral service. It discussed the unique service they had put together for a lady who was into riding her motorcycle. It was a touching story and a good use of marketing dollars. It ended by promising they can work with whatever your ‘celebration of life’ may be.

A few hours later as I continued my work a thought of that phrase celebration of life. I have always preferred that over the word funeral or memorial service. This may be just a personal preference, but I feel it puts the focus on where it should be, on the person’s life and not on their passing. To me this tends to make it just a little bit easier on everyone affected by their loss. Yes, you are still going to mourn, as you should, but there are more reflections on joyous memories and fun times spent with that person. During the eulogy there is one, if not many, people who stand up to share what they loved about the person and what great things sharing life with them brought. That is how you celebrate!

That made me wonder, why do we save such celebrating for a person’s farewell? Certainly, it would be nice to have such events happen while we are here to hear them and enjoy them? Who wouldn’t want people to stand up and tell everyone the joy your life has brought them at…a birthday or family reunion. There are many times when people gather together to celebrate all kinds of things. I feel it would bring a lot more to the celebration if we spend a little more thought, effort and diligence on what we are celebrating.

I am actually going to take this one step further. I am going to advocate not waiting for a special event to do this. First, because if you invite people to your birthday party and call it a ‘celebration of life’ there may be some rather alarming confusion. Most importantly, however, because this is a habit we should all develop. Every morning we wake up and put our feet on the floor we should be celebrating life. After all, we are alive. We have many opportunities to bring and receive joy and love.

How do we begin to make celebration of life a part of our lives on a regular basis? I have two ideas, but I would love to hear yours as well. My first idea is to take some time each day to celebrate life. It can be as little as 15 minutes to as long as you desire. Personally, I think first thing in the morning would be the best time to do this. It would put you in a great mood to start the day! If everyday seems too unrealistic for you, why not picking one day a week to celebrate life? During the given time you have selected, either once a day or once a week, focus on things such as what makes you happy and what you have to be grateful for. Celebrate them. Feel grateful, feel happy and celebrate. There are no rules as to how you celebrate life, just do so consciously. Pretty soon it will become a part of your life.

YOUR WEEKEND HOMEWORK

Homework….I used to hate that word in school. Truth be told, it still conjures up a few bad memories. I promise you not only will this homework be painless, but actually enjoyable and improve your life.

Your homework is to notice the little miracles in your life. If you stop and think of how much life has really blessed you with, you may be surprised.

In my own life for example, I think my lady is a miracle. More to the point the situation between us is. Here is a woman who is creative, silly, smart and sexy. We somehow live in the same country, in the same state, in the same city. Not only that, circumstances brought us together and guess what? She found me attractive for reasons I still can’t explain, and we feel in love. When you think of the odds of that happening it is a miracle.

Even tonight I planned on a nice stroll this evening with my mom. As we looked up it was a full supermoon. The sky didn’t have a cloud and the stars shined in all their glory. The odds of us choosing to walk today, the moon being so big and full and the sky clear are slim to none. All those events on the same night?

This may sound a bit rose-colored glasses to some, and I suppose to some extent it may be. When you stop and think of all the odds that had to line up for your life to be the way it is, you will realize there is no shortage of miracles. Even a simple flower you notice as you pass by…a miracle.

So look out for miracles this weekend. Feel free to share your favorite miracles with us here at secret2anamazinglife.com!

MY YOUTUBE VIDEO FROM PARADISE – 3 WAYS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE WITH A VACATION.


I have just returned from the Luxury Bahia Principe in Jamaica. It was an amazing time. In the course of planning this trip I learned 3 amazing ways that vacations change your life before you even leave your house.
If you use these same 3 elements you can instantly add more joy to your life starting today! By the time your toes hit the sand your heart will already be full of happiness. Click the link below and watch the 2 minute video right now. By the time the video is over, you will know exactly what to do to start adding joy to your life right now!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO AND LEARN THE THREE SECRETS

ALTRUISTIC IS SELFISH… AND THAT’S OK


The definition of the word altruistic is as follows – showing a disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others; unselfish
How then, can I claim that being altruistic is selfish? For one simple reason. When you are down, when life seems to kick you as you are down, nothing can lift your feelings as much as helping someone else. Certainly, that is not the only time you should limit your acts of helping others, but it still holds true. Most of you know my story about how my life was turned around by helping at a meal program feeding the homeless. It not only gave me a new and refreshing perspective, but the act of being able to do something for someone else feels good.
That should not be your only motivation to do good, but keep that in mind. The more you do for others, the better you will feel. Thus, being altruistic is both unselfish and selfish at the same time. Why do I think that is ok? If, in an attempt to help yourself feel a little happier you go around doing random acts of kindness for others, the world would be a significantly better place.
As with anything we share here, do not take my word on this. Feel free to test the theory yourself. For 21 days, do one act of kindness with no expectation in return. Not financial compensation, not a promotion, do not even worry about getting a simply ‘thank you’. You may even want to record your acts to make sure you do not miss a day. After 3 weeks notice if your own happiness has improved.

ARE YOU READY TO SHIFT?

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Last post I told you about some people I interviewed that had every reason to be negative and jaded about life. You will be able to read all the interviews in my upcoming book Living the Dream. Right now I will tell you their challenges included miscarriages, abuse of physical, emotional and sexual nature. They had major health challenges. Their families were killed and they were forced to flee countries due to a civil war. Despite, and in some cases because of these challenges, they are some of the most positive people you will ever meet. I asked myself, and them, how is that possible?

The secret was they were all able to control their thoughts and thus controlled their lives. How did they do it? Honestly, they all had their own unique ways which you will be able to read about in my book. For today’s post, however, I am going to share one thing they all had in common. If you add this one thing to your life it will do a great deal to help you overcome whatever challenge you have in life. We are going to look at what that common trait was and some fun ways to use it in our own lives.

You may have guessed from the picture that the common trait that all of these people shared was gratitude. In challenges far greater than I had ever faced, each one of them found reasons to be grateful. If they can do it facing the kind of challenges we mentioned above, surely we can utilize gratitude to take control of the thoughts and challenges in our own daily lives.

Finding something to be grateful for in a challenging situation can be difficult, especially in the beginning. Like any other muscle, our gratitude muscle will grow stronger with use. In the beginning, however, it helps to have a few tools and tips to help foster a sense of gratitude. My advice when diving into this is to resist the temptation to attempt to change everything at once. Remember, you are trying to change thought patterns you have built up over years. Pick one topic and start slow. Not only will it be less difficult, but it will actually increase your chances of success. Let us look at a few ways in which to start infusing our lives with more gratitude.

The first method is pretty straight forward and works well for difficult areas of our lives. Pick an area of your life that does not bring you joy. For our example let us say that you are not crazy about your job. At a time where you are not otherwise occupied, such as driving in your car or at the job you dislike so much, grab a pen and piece of paper. Next, get comfortable. Maybe make yourself a fresh cup of coffee or tea if that is your thing. Put on some relaxing or fun music. Now begin to think of everything about your job in which you are grateful for. You may find your mind a little reluctant at first, but stick with it. Maybe you don’t feel your job pays you what you would like, but be grateful it does pay you. It may not allow you to take that vacation to Fiji, but it does allow you to keep the lights on. It gives you a reason to get out of bed and be active. It introduces you to different people. Sure, they may not all be perfect people, but it allows you to be social. It also allows you to practice and strengthen your skills of being hopeful and positive. Just like muscles, these things only grow and get stronger when they are challenged. When you have a pretty good list going put it in a jacket pocket or in the car. Somewhere you can take it with you. Next time you are on the way to work look at and review this list. Read it right before you walk in the door. It will at least help balance the frustration.

The next way to put more gratitude in your life can be looked at as a game to play. I do this one on the way to work as well and find it puts my mind in a great place before I get there. As I drive along I look for as many things as I can that I love. This can be the color of a house I am driving by, or the humor behind someone’s personalized plates on the car ahead of me. Sometimes it is a nice dog walking down the street, or a fun jacket someone waiting for the bus is wearing. A good practice is to say these things out loud. “Wow! I love that jacket!” or “What a fun color to paint a house/door/car!” Even hearing yourself say these things out loud can put you in a better frame of mind.

These are just two ideas for increasing the feeling of gratitude in  your life. Feel free to share your ideas in the comments below. There are a million ways to add and strengthen the gratitude you already have in your life. I encourage you to try them all. The more grateful you are, the more likely you are to have control of your thoughts.