This photo comes with a little tongue in cheek. With the high prices today, many of us are feeling the pinch. As someone who has a 35 minute commute to their day job, as well as consumes many cups of coffee while writing, both of these affect me. It would be prudent to take actions that can help offset the increase in price. Try to eliminate unnecessary trips. Be more logistically wise. Perhaps enjoy a few more cups of coffee at home and a few less out. Make sure to make the most when you do go out for coffee. Maybe switch it up and have a cup of tea now and again.
What I do get out of this picture is two things. First, do not fixate on the problem. Yes, both of these have reached the level of insane in the price category. The other thing is not to just complain about them. Seldom has complaining done anything to improve a situation. If you must complain, do so with your vote. Turn complaint into action. Focus on a solution, such as the ones we mentioned above.
The other point is not to give up what you like entirely. Yes, this may be said as a joke in this photo, but I like the idea behind it. Even if you have to scale it back a little, still let yourself enjoy these small pleasures of life. They give it flavor and joy.
Let me begin this post by admitting I am no art master. I enjoy a good painting or play. I can appreciate the talent it takes to pull of a performance in an opera or sculpt something. As for myself, I write books with questionable grammar and draw a mean stick figure. I do, however, understand how vital art is to the human spirit. Yes, I did use the word ‘vital’. How many times in discussions of budgets how art is something ‘extra’. It is not. Without some form of art, the world becomes a collection of gray moments. We turn into robots that just wake up, pay bills and die. Life ceases to have any sort of enjoyment.
Does this sound overly dramatic to you? Ask yourself what do you do for entertainment? You could be a painter. You could enjoy doodling. You could enjoy creating floral arrangements or decorating a cake. If you are the woman I am about to marry, you could enjoy all of them. Maybe you like to run? Do you just like to sit home and watch television? Do you enjoy meeting friends for coffee? There is an artform to just about everything. If you take art out of our world, the human spirit slowly begins to die. When you have people who have a spirit full of dust then things like family, friends and life itself lose their meaning. Is art vital? Imagine living your life without creating, or enjoying the benefits of any form of art. Then tell me that art is not vital.
One of the craziest things that I hear is when people tell me that they always expect the worst so they will never be disappointed. They somehow think this protects them against a level of hurt. It actually does the opposite. How do you think it feels to go through life constantly expecting it to go to hell. Not very good. In addition, it shows how little these well-intentioned folks know about how life works. Even putting aside the law of attraction, let us look at the scientific basis as to why this is not your best is not your best course of action.
The brain has something called the ‘reticular activating system’. In simpler terms, think of it as a filter. It tells your conscious mind what is important to notice. We are exposed to millions of bits of information every second. What sounds are around us, how our clothing feels against our skin, how our neighbor smells or how we smell. Plus a million other things. If we tried to focus on them all, we would go crazy in a short period of time. Therefore, there is this miraclous part of our brain that picks and chooses what is important. The easy example I use for this is when you buy a certain kind of car, or are even thinking of buying a certain kind of car. Suddenly, you see that car everywhere! Did the world suddenly make more of the very car you had purchased or were thinking of purchasing? The answer is both yes and no. No obviously the actual quantity of these cars had not increased. It is just that they became more important to you so then you were more likely to notice each one. Yes, because by noticing each one of these cars, in essence, that increased the amount of them in your reality.
What does seeing more of a car have to do with the secrets to an amazing life? Plenty. The reticular activating system uses the same methods for lots of things in our life. If your brain is filled with dread and expectation for the worst senerio, guess what you are actually increasing the likelihood of experiencing in your reality? Much like our car example, challenges may not even increase in reality, but they will increase in how they appear in your reality. Just like the world didn’t make more cars, but suddenly you are seeing them everywhere. There isn’t more doom and gloom in the world, you are just noticing more.
You also steal the feeling of positive expectation. Many of these people will tell that having a positive expectation will make you feel more hurt if the thing does not happen. Is that true? Perhaps marginally. If you consider the amount of time we spend on the journey verses the destination, you will begin to see the power in changing the way you travel, or go through life. Most of our life is a journey. If yours is a journey of always expecting the worst to happen, it will be a very somber and unhappy journey. If you life a life of positive expectation, you will live a life filled with optimism and excitement. Even if there is the occasion let down when something doesn’t go quite as you hoped. Then again, if you live a life of positive expectation, you would just assume this detour would be setting you up for a bigger win later on.
You are going to have ups and downs in life no matter what. How you feel between them is based on what attitude you carry with you. That is why Einstein said the most important question is whether we live in a friendly universe. Why? Our answer to that question determines how we will experience this life we are given. As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right. ”
Almost every day, Margie writes a little note in the lunch she packs for me. It is not only romantic, but helps me keep an attitude of gratitude throughout the work day. It also increases the love that I feel for her with every note I read! This time she decorated an entire bag. Not only do I have a very talented and artistic lady, but she uses her talents to be loving towards me. Now if that would not make me grateful, I do not know what would.
She also found a way to write a little inspiring note on the bag. What did it say? As you can see above, she was thanking me for all I did! Imagine that. She goes through all of the work of decorating the bag, writing a loving note and then thanks me for all that I do! Appreciating your partner is the surest way to receive appreciation from them. Who does not like to feel appreciated? I can promise you all of us do. This added to the love that I felt for my beautiful lady. Alas, there was even more love inside!
Inside she had made me a tasty homemade chicken salad sandwich. Making sure I had enough energy to make it through the day. By the time I even got to taste the food, I was so full of love and appreciation that I already had lots of energy. To many, you could look at this and say that your love packed a lunch and wrote a note. It might make you feel good. If you really stop and think about the time they took to do that, the thought it took to come up with something loving, the care they must of felt for you in order to do all of these things, then it would make you feel extraordinary!!! It should. We must consider everything someone does for us that makes us feel so loved.
\Next time your spouse does something that may even seem simple to you, stop and think of everything it took for them to accomplish. It may not even seem like much to them, but the fact that they did it when they did not have to should tell you all that you know. There are countless things throughout the day that we do for each other. The more we stop and think about it, the more there is to be grateful for. The more we are grateful, the happier we are both with them and with our life. Talk about a win/win situation!
Here is a sad truth most of us have a hard time grasping – some people may never like you. It could be jealousy, envy, racism, or a host of other issues. There are people in my life that I have never even met that do not like me. When your writing is viewed in over 200 countries, it is difficult not to offend the likes of some. There is a gent that is offended by my sharing of anything hopeful or optimistic. He claims that is giving people a false sense of hope. Perhaps this gent would prefer a world filled with dark and depressing material. To him I say, feel free to turn on the news my good friend. At my day job there are people who dislike me because I am upbeat most of the time. That tends to offend them.
With social media there is a world filled with ‘keyboard rangers’, that is people who say things they would not dare say in person because they feel safe behind a keyboard. With this being the case, you are bound to encounter people who will dislike you because, as the picture states, your spirit will irritate their demons. Knowing this, I hope will help you shrug off their insults or attacks as just what they are – their opinions. Do not let them change your beautiful spirit. More on that next post.
Not only is the title of this blog the same as one of my favorite songs by the band Aerosmith, but that song happened to be inspired from a line in one of my favorite movies (Young Frankenstein). This blog has nothing to do with Steven Tyler or Mel Brooks however. Instead, it is a change in both mindset as well as the way we carry ourselves.
I imagine many of you who read the words in the photo above dismissed it as some ‘new-age nonsense’. In order to prove to you that there is scientific, as well as personal, proof behind this, allow me to ask you a question. This question I learned from a Tony Robbins talk. It opened up such an interesting paradigm shift, it became an entire section in my second book, Living the Dream. The question is this, “For a million dollars, if I asked you to describe a depressed person sitting behind a closed door, could you do it?” Would their posture be erect or would they be slumped over? Would their eyes be bright and looking up or would they be staring at the floor? Would their movements be energetic or slow and plodding?
How did you know all of those facts about a depressed person that you have never seen? Have you ever been depressed? Chances are your physical stature was much the same. That is because our physical presence can affect our emotions. That is why walking the way that is suggested in the photo above makes so much sense. If we walk around with our head down, dragging our feet and with no enthusiasm, how do you think we will feel? How many people do you know that this is their default state? Have you ever stop to think about this?
Yes, walking around like you have just heard the best news of your life, picturing everything working in your favor may get you some curious looks. That is fine. People can be uncomfortable with something that is different. After a while, do you know what starts to happen? People begin to gravitate towards you. Who would not want to be around someone who carries themselves that way? To, of course, the obvious way this will affect your mood. Life really is about how we feel. If there exists ways in which we can positively affect that, why not make use of them? Here is what happens when your mood is elevated. Your immune system functions better. Your mind is more open to opportunity. When stress comes your way, you will be in far better position to handle it than if you were already depressed when it arrived.
If you would like a more in-depth description of how this works, along with more tools and strategies to improve your life, please check out my book, Living the Dream by Neil Panosian. Available wherever fine books are sold.
We all start our day in our own way. Some of us it is by drinking a cup of coffee. Some of us check our emails. Some motivated souls even start the day with a little physical fitness. How we start our day goes a long way in determining how our day will go. If, for example, our first thing we do is to pick up our phone and see what social media or the world at large is up to, we leave ourself open to negative influences. Unless that day the world and social media consists of entirely positive news. Perhaps you can see the likelihood of that happening.
What if there was a guaranteed way to start the day with a smile that would not only increase our chances of keeping that smile on our face the whole day long, but increase the bond in many of our relationships too? It is one simple action that can have a powerful influence on both. If you read the photo at the start of this post, you have an idea of what I am talking about. It is the simple act of starting our day expressing gratitude for the amazing people in our life. How do you think your day would start if you picked up the phone, called a friend and said, “I am just calling to tell you how awesome I think you are and how grateful I am to have you in my life. I hope you have a great day.” Do you think that would make it more likely you would have a great day not to mention the friend who received that phone call? Not to mention the strengthening of the bond between the both of you.
Maybe calling people is not your thing. Maybe you start work at 4am like I do. In which case, even a friendly phone call might not be appreciated. We are lucky that we live in a time where there are so many other options. We could send a quick text for them to read to start their day. Opening your phone to a text letting you know how grateful your friend is to have you in their life would be great way to start the day. If you start your day on social media, how much better would it be to pick a random person and leave a comment on their page letting them know how amazing they are and how grateful you are for them? It would be a great start to the day for both of them. How about doing this for a coworker when you get to work? The great thing about all of these examples is that they can become contagious. When you can start a group of people doing this, imagine the possibilities? All of you starting your day expressing gratitude for each other?
Even if you are a rather shy person, this can still work. Picking one of your friends and looking at a picture of them, or even just picturing them in your head. Then list off some of the things that make them the great person you are. Let them know how grateful you are for them. If you do it this way, you might miss the opportunity to brighten someone else’s day, but you still receive the benefits of gratitude. These include, but are not limited to, reduced stress, increased immune function and an overall sense of well-being.
Start your next morning with a dose of gratitude. It will brighten the days of those you care about and make sure you have a much happier day as well.
We touched on this a few posts ago when looking at the ‘Golden Rule’ and how many belief systems include it. We do have a lot more in common that most of us would feel comfortable to admit. What about those pesky differences? The ones that keep wars occurring, people arguing and relationships ending? How can humanity survive all of that? By learning to play in the sandbox together. Again, this is a lesson we can learn from our children. On any given day, you can see a group of children who are all different playing together in the sandbox. They might be from different economic levels, different religions and different races. The only important thing to them is helping each other build a sand castle.
As an adult life cannot really be that simple though, can it? Yes, it can. These children do not mind that each other are different. As a matter of fact, they are focused on the moment and what they have in common – they are all playing in the sandbox. The sandbox can represent life itself. We are all playing in the same sandbox that is life. We might be trying to build different sand castles, but we are all doing the best we can. As I look around the coffee shop where I am writing, there are many people who are all different. Different ages, different genders and different social groups. We are all here drinking some sort of beverages and working on things in our life. It could be reading a book or finishing a term paper. The fact is that we all chose to come to the coffee shop to work on something. Even if that something is just connecting with and sharing conversation with a friend.
You can see how even in that example there are both differences we could focus on, or we could chose to focus on what we all have in common. The difference? Well that is also stated in small letters at the bottom of the picture above – “Be happy, enjoy life”. By choosing to focus on what we have in common instead of our differences we will do just that. We will be happier and enjoying life a lot more.
Here is a sample of some of the countries that we were viewed in the other day. You can see that they cover all 7 continents. Yes, even on the bottom there we were viewed in Antarctica! That cold and brave soul probably needed a little inspiration and motivation. It is so important to share this site and this community with those you care about. By working and thinking together we can help all of us to become the best version of ourselves that we can be. On the days that we do not reach that level, we can encourage and uplift one another. That is also a great blessing of being in this community.
The above picture represents all of the areas in which this site has been viewed this year. Where we have been is shaded in green. Where we have yet to go is in grey. As you can see, being part of this community is a global experience. We all have the same desire to live an amazing life and become the best version of ourselves. That holds true across geographical borders as well as cultures and belief systems. As different as we are, we have so much in common. That means that stranger you encounter on your daily commute or when you stop at the local coffee shop is probably fighting some of the same battles you are. They are also striving to reach some of the same goals you are.
This is important for several reasons. First, you may have learned something about the struggle you both are in that you can share with them. Second, they may hold the secret to helping you in an area of your life that you have been stuck in. That leads me to that last, and most important, reason why keeping these similarities in mind is so important. We are far less likely to approach and converse with someone when we focus on our differences instead of what we all have in common. If being the main author of this site has taught me one thing, it is that we are all far more alike than most of us care to admit. We may think and worship in different ways, but we all have the same needs and desires. We want to feel loved, significant and connection. We want to feel valued and like our life has purpose. This site not only provides tools and strategies to do so, but a community to help reinforce these values and support us in our quest to become the best version of ourself.
There are many times when I hear people lament that they just “cannot stay positive.” As if maintaining a blissful state of being was a possible outcome. It is not. There are times in everyone’s life that things will be tough. Something sad or tragic may happen. It can be difficult and understandable to feel a little down sometimes. Acknowledging this fact is very important. If we feel bad every time we feel bad, it starts to form a vicious circle of depressive feelings. One feeding the other. We do not want that.
What is the solution to help us navigate our way through tough times? The ideal is learning tools and strategies that will allow us to have these down periods be less frequent and less severe. Notice that does not mean we will not still have these times on occasion. When we do, there are still many things we can do. The first, and most important, is to understand it is perfectly ok to feel this way. It is part of life. The clouds help us to appreciate the sun. Yes, that does sound a little hokey, but it is true. Contrast can drive appreciation.
That leads us to the next action we can take. Find something to be grateful for in the situation. When we lose someone we care deeply about that is tough. It can, however, have us love and appreciate those we still have with us that much more. This does not mean we will not feel sadness and a feeling of loss. That is not only understandable, it means we have loved greatly. We can still feel love, gratitude and appreciation along with sadness and loss. Perhaps vacillating between to the two at a surprising rate. It can all be part of the grieving process.
Giving ourself permission to feel down will help us get through it. We need to be compassionate with ourself, just like we are for others. Working our way to a more positive mindset takes time and is not a linear experience. As the picture above says, it is a marathon, not a sprint.
