Month: December 2018

DO THIS INSTEAD OF A RESOLUTION!

The above stats reflect the growth of this website. In the top photo you can see we have grown pretty consistently in the number of viewers since inception in 2012. A good thing to also note is that we have come close to doubling our views in the last year! While I was pondering such statistics and looking forward to watching them grow in the future, an idea occurred to me in regards to personal development as well.

Today is New Year’s Eve. On this day for a good portion of us, our focus turns towards ‘New Year’s resolutions’. I am going to encourage you to do something different this year. If you find it ironic that a website dedicated to becoming the best version of yourself is encouraging you not to make resolutions for the new year, let me further explain myself. I would like us all to make a new kind of resolution for the coming year. Generally, resolutions consist of things we would like to do. Things such as ‘start going to the gym’ or ‘quit smoking’. While both of these are certainly admirable goals and ones I would encourage you to take, I would like to approach the new year in a different way.

Instead of focusing on what we would like to do in the coming year I would like us to change that focus. This year I would like us to focus on two different personal areas. The first being who we would like to become. After all, when it comes to improving our lives that is the ultimate goal, to become more. In the case of the above examples, quitting smoking and joining a gym, one could change that to ‘I will become a non-smoker this year’ and ‘I am going to be more fit and healthy’. Not only does this provide us a psychological change in identity, but can provide us both more options to our success and more motivation to do so. In the case of becoming a non-smoker we can avail ourselves to the many treatment options available to us. In the case of becoming healthy and fit, we could not only go to the gym, but walks after dinner, bike rides, play sports, start dancing or any other activity that gets you closer to your goal.

The other thing I would like to focus on is how we can give. All of us have so many gifts to share with the world, our focus in the coming year should be how to bring more of them to light. If you would want to live a life filled with passion, joy and vitality, you could make no better choice than to live your gifts. This doesn’t necessarily mean quitting your day job and running off to the tropics. Although I can appreciate that urge more than you can imagine. What it means is finding more ways in which you can bring what you love and what you are good at to the world. What if you are already living your gift? How about finding ways to share even more? Let us say your passion is riding your skateboard. Last year you made it a point to spend some time every week enjoying that passion. This year you may wish to start a blog about riding skateboards, or the skateboard life in general. Perhaps you could start a YouTube Channel showing how you do different tricks.

Let me share with you some of the goals I have for sharing my gift more in the coming year. First and foremost, my second book will be officially released early next year. I plan to continue the growth of this blog by exploring new avenues of sharing it as well as new partnerships with other blog writers. There will be a Secret2anamazinglife clothing line available by summer. We will accomplish our goal of reaching 1000 posts on this site. The YouTube channel Neil Panosian will reach 100 videos and look to expand its reach as well.

Think of who you would like to become in the new year and how you would like to give and share your gifts even more. Feel free to share with us in the comments below. We can all encourage each other in the next 12 months and stand a better chance of success.

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WHAT DAY IS IT?


Last post we talked about my affection for the stories of Winne-the-Pooh. Today we are going to look at the above quote from this famous literary work of art.

“What day is it?” asked Pooh

“It’s today.” squeaked Piglet

“My favorite day.” said Pooh.
In this quote we are given the gift of great wisdom hidden in what seems to be a silly thought. Today is the best day. In fact, today is the only day. Yesterday has already happened and we cannot change it. If we continue to live in the pain and hurt of yesterday we are doing so at the cost of today. If there is a wrong or hurt that happened yesterday we cannot undo it. The only way to attempt to remedy yesterday is to take action today to undo the wrongs of yesterday.
The same holds true for tomorrow. It has not come yet and will never come. Tomorrow is always in the future. Perhaps you have concerns about future tomorrows? The only thing you can do is act today to help those events in the future. Things such as purchasing life insurance, starting a health regimen, begin a savings account or many other actions that will improve your future. It is the actions we take today that will determine our tomorrows.
Fully enjoying the day we are currently in is the only way in which we can live a truly positive and rewarding life. If we live in the regret of the past we are giving away our peace of today. If we delay our happiness for a future event we are doing the same thing. That is not to say you shouldn’t have things to look forward too, but enjoy the process while you are waiting for them to arrive. Make today your favorite day. Let us all take this great lesson from that friendly bear and his woodland friends.

IN WHICH… ONE BEAR WRITES ABOUT ANOTHER

For quite some time now my nickname has been, in some form or fashion, ‘Bear’. Most recently, the love of life calls me ‘Honey Bear’. Not sure how this started. Perhaps it is my voracious appetite during the fall months. Maybe it is even my tendency to put on weight and sleep countless hours during the winter months. Not quite sure. In addition to those attributes there are a few famous bears I really admire.

One of those famous bears is Winne-the-Pooh, or Pooh for short. Ever since I was a young child I have enjoyed the stories of this bear and his friends in the 100 acre wood. As a child I suppose you are just drawn to certain things and are not sure why. In the late 90’s as an adult I was afforded to look at this bear in a very different way. I picked up a copy of the book The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff. In this book he compares all of the characters in Winnie-the-Pooh with the different religions. It may sound odd, but I found it to be strangely accurate. There was also the book Winnie-the-Pooh on Problem Solving by Roger and Stephen Allen. In which the characters, and Pooh specifically, help CEOs and others solve problems. This may sound a bit far-fetched until you consider how some of the fundamentals we are taught in childhood are forgotten in our adulthood.

Knowing of my admiration for this Ursine movie star, Margie bought me the latest Pooh movie for Christmas. In this film Winnie-the-Pooh encounters an adult Christopher Robin who has forgotten what is truly important in life. Through his simplistic outlook, and amazing compassion his childhood bear helps him fix his adult life. It is a great movie I recommend for those of all ages. It will help you get in touch with your childhood spirit and remember what is really important.

As a side note, Margie and I spent the last few hours of Christmas Eve watching it and I have to admit it was some of the best 104 minutes I have spent in a very long time.

THAT TIME OF YEAR

As we wrap up our holiday celebrations and prepare for the coming new year, I feel it would be a great opportunity to pause for a moment of reflection. Think of what this past year has brought us. There have been stress and challenges for sure, but there have also been moments of joy and celebration. We must appreciate and grow from all of these.

When reflecting on the past year and preparing to make our New Year’s resolutions, or even just plans for what we would like to accomplish in the coming year, there can tend to be a feeling of despair as to how far from our goals of last year we came, or how quickly we gave up on them. That is ok. A little bit of that pain can serve us to be more motivated this coming year. Staying in a feeling of regret and anger at ourselves does not serve us. We need to grow from what happened.

This is what I suggest. As we sit down to ponder what the coming year has in store for us, let us grab a pen and a piece of paper. Writing down your goals and resolutions as we tend to call them this time of year, has great power in creating a mental/physical bond with them. If we notice some of those goals look a lot like the goals from the year before, this might not be that bad of a thing. As we write down those goals, we can also write down what transpired that prevented us from achieving them in the year prior. Then we can begin to think of ways in which we can move forward while preventing those same obstacles from stopping us this year. By doing just such a thing, we can move forward in the accomplishment of our goals.

Let us also think of the challenges we have faced in the last year. Write them down. It may not seem fun to relive moments of the past year that were less than pleasant, but they can serve us as well. How? If we then write down what we learned or gained by going through them. Was it a greater appreciation for those who stood by our side? Was it new skills we were forced to learn? Was it just learning how strong we could be when we had to? All of these things are items we can be grateful for.

Lastly, let us not forget the moments of joy we had. Remember the accomplishments we did make. Sure, you may not have followed that gym routine like you intended, but you did go for a couple of weeks…days…hours…maybe you just joined a gym. Knowing what we learned about the challenges we overcame from the steps above, let us celebrate the gains we did make by looking forward to an even greater success in the coming year. Now would be the time to give ourselves a well-deserved pat on the back for all we did do. It might not have been perfect, or turn out exactly how we wanted, but let us remember all the good we did do this year.

In the coming year, this blog will continue to bring you thoughts and actions that will improve your life if you put them into action. I invite all of you to share this website with at least one other person you know who is doing their best to live a more inspired and positive life.

HOLIDAY WISHES FROM ALL OF US AT SECRET2ANAMAZINGLIFE.COM!

Today, for those who celebrate it, is Christmas. Whether you celebrate this holiday for its religious meaning, or just secularly, or even if you do not celebrate it at all, there are a few things to keep in mind on this day.

First of all, things will be a bit crazy. Roads will be crowded, businesses will be closed or have shortened hours. The weather may even be a bit sketchy in some locations. Remember to exercise patience and caution. As I tell all of my friends and family, “Better to arrive late than not at all.”

Next is the whole gift thing. I must confess being the person who wants to get people the ultimate gift. Not necessarily biggest or most expensive, but just one that will bring the greatest amount of joy. In fact, up until a few days ago, I had been searching and thinking like a mad man for something special for my love Margie. This is exactly the kind of behavior that can ruin the holidays. If you were to stop and think about it, you are giving someone a gift. Even if they do not exactly like what you got them, they should be grateful you thought of them and went out of your way to purchase something for them. Don’t stress over gifts. Give what you can to those you can.

What if you can’t afford gifts this year? That is ok too. Personally, homemade gifts I find to be some of the most treasured. A well thought out poem or card can simply melt a heart and give warm and wonderful feelings all year long. Even giving someone the pleasure of your company or the gift of your undivided attention can mean the world. We all have gifts to offer. Some of us tell jokes and give the gift of laughter. You may be someone who is a great cook and can fill someone’s stomach and their heart with joy. The people willing to pitch in and help clean up after Christmas dinner never go unappreciated. Whoever you are, you can offer a great gift without spending anything.

Lastly, this time of year enjoy the gift of togetherness. Sure, there may be that family member who you don’t exactly see eye to eye with. That’s ok, they help you grow and practice patience and compassion. Be grateful for those who take the time to be with you. Learn from them, share with them and love them. Enjoy some great conversations and give everyone the great gift of being listened to.

Whatever you choose to celebrate this time of year, all of us here at secret2anamazinglife.com wish you and your loved ones a safe, healthy and happy holiday season filled with love and laughter.

IT’S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL…

First of all I would like to apologize for putting this song in your head. The purpose of this post is not to have you singing Disney songs for the next 48 hours. What I am going to attempt to do is explain an abstract concept of quantum physics and metaphysics by way of the internet and social media.

Let us pause here and take a deep breath as we have just used the words Disney, quantum physics, metaphysics, internet and social media all in one small paragraph.

Hopefully we are all back to taking in nourishing breaths of oxygen-rich air once more. This may sound daunting, but I am going to explain what amounts to a complex theory in simple terms. I am going to share a personal story that will provide an example of this concept in action. Not only did it help me grasp something I couldn’t quite get my head around, but it may just do the same for you.

Let us begin with the science part of this. If this sounds a bit too complicated, just keep reading I promise it will come together even if you have no idea in hell what this paragraph is about. Quantum physics tells us that at its very core everything in the universe is energy. The difference between say the pig you saw at the farm and the one sitting next to your eggs is the rate at which they are vibrating. In theory, if we could control vibration we could change our Honda CRV into a Dodge Viper. It also means that because not only are all forms of matter energy, but the space between matter is energy as well. Extrapolating that out further, that means everything is connected. We should, by all accounts, be able to slap our annoying co-worker 2 cubicles down without getting out of your seat. Sadly, we have not figured that out. I guess it might not be too sad if you happen to be the annoying co-worker.

If all of the talk about energy and quantum physics has your head spinning, or if you can’t quite grasp the energy concept, do not worry. Let us approach this from a different metaphysical and social angle. There are theories that everyone is only 6 degrees away from being connected to everyone else. The number changes depending on who you are talking to, but usually falls somewhere into that area. That means if I approach a person in Melbourne Australia and talk to one of their friends, and then talk to one of their friend’s friends, and carry that on for six levels eventually we would come across someone who knows me here in West Allis Wisconsin. Personally, with the advent of the internet, I think the levels may be down to 2 or 3.

Still having a hard time grasping this idea? Don’t worry so was I at first. Let me tell you a story that may bring it into focus a little better. In the beginning of my bartending career I worked at a small bar here in West Allis, not far from my home. There I met a gentleman named Rick who happened to be a regular that lived across the street. Shortly thereafter, I met his daughter Becky. So far not too complicated of a story. Becky fell in love with a gentleman named Jason. They were married and I had the pleasure of becoming his friend as well. It turned out Jason’s father worked with my mother several years prior. While my bartending career moved on to another bar in the city I met another gentleman. Through the wonder of Facebook I became connected with all of these fine people. While DJing at our Sunday show I ran into Becky’s mother. She recognized us from seeing things on her daughter’s Facebook page. Now we are ‘friends’ on social media as well. She informed me the gentleman I met at the second bar was her nephew and Becky’s cousin. Also, I do a good portion of my writing at coffee shops throughout the city. At several I have run into Jason’s brother. Basically, what this proves is that it is indeed a small world after all.

It also proves one other very important fact. Even if we have a hard time grasping the quantum physics concept of everything being connected, we can certainly see it in people. Now, through the power of the internet and social media, no matter what you do in this world it will end up having a consequence on you at some level. This will help us appreciate and see how Karma works. It can really make clear how what you sow, so shall you reap works. That should prompt us to be more responsible and compassionate individuals. Knowing our words, actions and even thoughts will, in some form or fashion, come back to us.

YOUR VERY IMPORTANT DECISION

This comes to us from one of my favorite authors and speakers Billy Alsbrooks. It is a theme that is universal to many different schools of thought, but is not often acted upon. We need a clear and definite description of who we are. We need to be crystal clear on what we stand for and what we refuse to stand for. We need to establish for ourselves a clear set of values and standards.

Why is this so important? Without this identity, we are at the mercy of the others and the world around us. This would be no problem if the world was a place committed to everyone’s best interests and maintaining a healthy and happy environment. As we are aware this is not the case. There are companies spending large amount of money to tell us things such as we are not cool enough unless we are wearing their particular brand of shoes or we must be a part of a certain social media group. Everything from alcohol to outfits has a definition of what is cool and what is not. Often, this message is backed up by those in the acting and music profession. We hear songs promoting the same brand of shoes or alcohol that the companies would like us to believe is cool. The only thing that is gained through this is an increase in that companies bottom line, and chances are, a decrease in ours.

Corporate influence is actually one of the tamer, and other than financial, harmless sources striving to control our thinking. Media outlets, politicians, and even coworkers, classmates, family and friends can all do the same. Their intentions can be good, or on occasion not so good. Either way what is right for them is not necessarily right for us. Conveying that in a firm, but nonjudgmental way can be tricky but is necessary.

Why is this so important? If we allow ourselves to be at the mercy of corporate, political and social agendas of others our lives will be in a sense indentured servants to their goals and dreams. We can end up saying and doing things that go against our spirit. This will leave us feeling disappointed in ourselves and on occasion with a feeling of distain toward our behavior and who we have become. The ironic thing about this is that it can be hard to diagnose. It will leave us feeling down, dejected and unhappy with our lives. It may not be apparent as to the source of the issue.

The solution is to spend some quality time defining the person looking back at you in the mirror. It will not only reduce the stress in your life, but provide you drive, purpose and a strong sense of identity. This will set you up to live an amazing life!  

 

YOU HAVE A TRAITOR!

Has there every been something you really thought could be fun, but did not try because you were afraid of trying it? I think this is something we all have faced. Our minds are designed to keep us in our comfort zones at all costs. There is the fear of looking foolish the first time try something an fail. The sad part about this is what we miss by not trying.

I would like to offer a personal story to illustrate the point. I LOVE going on tropical vacations! Everything about it makes me happy. Sun, beach, happy vibes, rum, fresh fruit and relaxation. One of my favorite things to do is snorkel off the beach. I enjoy diving as well, but snorkeling is quicker and cheaper. Before I went snorkeling for the first time I was not so excited about it. Giving up time relaxing on a beach sipping some delicious cocktail? Learning to breath through that awkward device? No thank you. Trying to put flippers on while being tossed about in the waves? How about putting the flippers on before you get into the ocean and trying to walk across the sand without falling or resembling a penguin? It all seemed like a bit much.

For the longest time I did not do it. When I look back on my hesitation, all the great exercise and scenery I missed it saddens me. Whether it is tropical fish in Jamaica, conch shells in the Bahamas or a rubber duck in the bathtub, I can’t imagine a tropical vacation without time in the ocean. I am very excited and looking forward to the first tropical vacation with my lovely and wonderful Margie this year. You can be sure it will be filled with plenty of fun, sun, love and time in the ocean.

If you are faced with doing something new and the thought scares you as much as sitting in the waiting room at the dentist, do yourself a favor and jump in with both feet! Do so knowing full well that you will make mistakes and may even look foolish at first. That may not sound inviting, but it may help in the long run. I recall spending way too much time worrying that I would make a mistake and look foolish. It often caused me to be rigid and nervous in my approach. This not only increased my chances of making a mistake, but took a lot of the joy out of it. The joy in being absolutely terrible at something is there is a tremendous chance of improvement. Knowing you will get much better than you are now should allow you to shrug off any feelings of inferiority. Have fun. Use it as practice to laugh at yourself.

Start off a new experience with the thought, “I am new at this and will probably make some mistakes and look foolish, but I will sure have fun and get better each and every time!”

SOMEONE NEEDS YOU!

Whenever I speak to an audience I am usually asked about how I became an author. If you have ever been to one of my seminars or heard me speak you will undoubtedly have heard the story of my high school English teacher. If not, let us say she encouraged me to do everything but write. At the time I couldn’t blame her. I had little to no interest in exploring the written word as a profession. Fast forward…umm…some years and here I sit with two books written, a blog with 1000 posts and several articles in major publications.

How did we get here? It started merely as an experiment in fixing my own life. As I discovered in twenty plus years working in the field of self-improvement, there are a lot of other people like me. Being an author for the last 6 years has taught me something else that I would like to share with you today. Everyone has a story within them. I don’t care if you think your life is as exciting as watching the grass grow, you have something someone out there needs.

Whether you are a stay at home parent, a busy professional or a high school student, there are millions who find themselves in the very situation you do. Perhaps they are looking for answers to some of the struggles you have overcome? Maybe they could benefit from hearing about some of the mistakes you have made so they could avoid them? Maybe they just need someone to relate to so they know they are not alone.

While you are working on your story, remember what you do is equally important. If you are a top CEO, or the person who cleans up after a top CEO, your service is needed. More to the point, you are needed. I have a friend who has a wealth of knowledge when it comes to plants and animals. Imagine how often I ask them things like, “I saw this bird/spider/chupacabra do you know what it is?” I have another friend who makes hand-crafted stuffed animals. How amazing would it be to give someone such a unique and wonderful gift? I have friends who are good at talking, some who are good at listening. Each and every one of them are as important to me as the next.

Whatever it is know that the world would be less without you doing it. Also know that someone would benefit from hearing your story. It could be about who you are, what you do or how you think. Inside of each and everyone of us is a best-seller that could change lives and change the world. Whatever you do, please to not die with your music still inside of you. It is just what someone needs to hear.

YOU TOO CAN SEE THE GOOD!

Today’s post is a guest post brought to us kindly from Kathy via her blog See the Good. there will be a link at the end of this post for you to check out more of Kathy’s wonderful blog. It not only helps us shift the focus to one of positivity, but gives us tools and ideas to do so.

A little more about today’s post. Kathy’s words on her personal definition of faith and how it helped her deal with the loss of a loved one close to the holidays is a message I feel could benefit a lot of us this time of the year. I encourage you to learn a little bit more about the author, enjoy the post and then do what I do, check out See the Good for your daily dose of inspiration.

Kathy is a wife, a mother, a friend and a writer. Her interests range from scuba diving and riding motorcycles to staying home with a good book or movie. She also enjoys the rejuvenating effect of time spent in nature with her husband. Writing has always been a passion of hers throughout her careers as a landscape designer, sales or as a laborer. Understanding the power of words to hurt or heal, Kathy is the first to put them into a positive healthy use with the aid of family and friends.

The holiday season seems to be a signal to me that after all of the celebrating there is an end coming. In most cases, it is the end of a year which is followed by an opportunity for a new beginning if we choose to take it. New Year’s resolutions can range from being more fiscally responsible, to personal health goals or working to become more mindful of the world around us. But each person must make the choice to set a goal for the new year and then invest the effort in reaching it. Sadly, many of these goals fall from our minds in just a week or two.

This time of year always makes me think of days gone by and loved ones who I miss a great deal. And it also makes me think about the future, both theirs and mine. I have lost a few very special people close to the holidays, and that always pulls my thoughts to their transition. The folks we lost close to the holidays have been mercifully taken to relieve them of their pain, and the burden that their earthly body had become. I try to look deep into my heart and feel enough joy for them that it blocks out my own selfish pain and sorrow.

During these moments I also begin to evaluate my own beliefs and faith. I say faith because I don’t have another word for it, but many would accuse me of stealing a word that they hold reverent and using it in a blasphemous manner. They look at me and say that I have no right to the term, or any right to expect mercy when my journey comes to an end. I have not lived the life of a good Christian, nor should I expect to be welcomed as if I were one.

And for many years I believed them. I even worked to come to terms with my fate as they described it. I had religion forced on me as a child, teen and even young adult and I just never fit into the mold. I will admit to, and even own, my rebellious nature, my incessant need to ask why and my stubborn nature which were all seen as issues by the church. The older I got, the more clearly I understood that these were a part of who I am and not parts that I was willing to give up to conform to someone else’s description of a good Christian.

But somewhere along the way, I also began to understand that nothing in this world is a one size fits all equation. We are all unique, and we were meant to be that way. If some higher power wanted a flock of replications, then that is what we would all be. But we are not. Now my reflections were focusing more on what I was doing and not what I was not doing. I did believe in some higher being and in heaven. I pictured each of my loved ones in that setting. They were no longer in pain or ill. They were happy, healthy and whole again. I can’t think of any other term for what I pictured, other than heaven.

So as it turned out, I did believe, just in my own way. For many years, I kept this revelation to myself, because a small part of me still thought that I might be doing things all wrong. And that in the end, I would not be going where I thought I was. After my father passed, I had a long talk with my aunt. She is an amazing lady, who can be quite the fireball. But she has a heart of gold, and she always call it like she sees it. Rosemary was never one to be the pushy religious type, and I never recall hearing of her attending church regularly, so I felt we could be kindred spirits in a way.

She told me that she knew exactly where my Dad was, and it was heaven for sure. She knew this because she has a personal relationship with the man upstairs. I must have been very quiet at that point because she paused a moment, and then went on to tell me that she didn’t need any intermediary and neither did I. A church was fine for some people but others could choose to speak directly, and the man upstairs would still hear us. I felt such relief having someone whom I respected and loved so much, finally affirming that I did have faith. And that I was doing it right, or at least right for me.

Many years later another very special person shared her thoughts with me and helped me define what I have, even more clearly. Janet said that in her heart she felt that religion was more oriented to a church or formal relationship with a higher power, while spirituality was a more individual relationship. That thought just seemed to resonate within my heart and soul. And between these two ladies, I have found the comfort and security of knowing where I will be when I find the end of my journey here on earth.

I believe that for me, my faith is a very personal thing. It is a relationship with a higher being that is mine, and mine alone. Because that is what works for me. I have no right to judge anyone else’s relationship, faith, beliefs or spirituality, just as I have no right to judge any of their other feelings or beliefs. For that reason, I very, very rarely will speak of God or how any person should find or relate to God or religion. But every once in a while, I remember how two special people showed me that I should trust my feelings and my own beliefs. And that my feelings are right, because they work for me. And in their honor, I share my story to offer hope, relief, and understanding to others out there who might be wondering if they have made a big mistake. My advice is simple… it is never a mistake to follow your heart. You were created to be a completely unique individual, and that is what makes you special and irreplaceable. Follow your heart, use your gifts and find peace in knowing that they will take you where you are meant to go. You are never alone, you have not been forgotten and your thoughts and prayers will be heard.

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