Here is a little story I read on-line that started me thinking on the importance of watching what we say to others. Not only is it a great story to share with children, but I think a few adults could benefit from it as well.
A young man was always losing his temper. Finally his mother had enough and told his father something had to be done. The father took the young man out to the back yard and told him, “son, every time you get upset I want you to pound a nail into this fence” Well, the son thought it was ridiculous, but agreed to give it a try. The first day he put six nails into the fence. By the end of the week he was down to three. After two weeks he was happy to report to his father he had not lost his temper one time that day and therefore had not put a single nail into the fence. “That’s great son.” said the father. “but we can’t have all these nails in this fence, so every time you do something kind for someone I want you to remove one nail” Well, merely one week later the son, feeling pretty proud of himself, had all the nails removed. His father stared at the fence with him, but did not seem as happy as the young man had hoped. “What’s wrong dad? I thought you would be proud of me?” asked the young boy. “Son I am proud of you, but remember whenever you lost your temper in anger you pounded a nail into the fence, that represented the hurt you inflicted on that person” “Yes dad, but then I did good things for people and I removed all those nails I put in!” Explained the son. “That’s true son” said the father. “Notice all the holes that were left in the fence. Even though you did good and tried to remove the hurt, a hole or memory of that hurt was still left behind. You need to remember once words are spoken in anger they cannot be unspoken, even by the kindest of deeds”
This story serves a good point. Haven’t we all been guilty of saying things in anger we wish we could take back? Haven’t we even went so far as to apologise to that person and try to make it up to them? I know I have. Think of the fence, however, and the emotional scars we leave behind that can never be forgotten. So let us work on being slow to anger and quick to praise. Once a nail is driven in, even if taken out, the hole will remain.
I would like to share a story with you that illustrates the importance of personal happiness. This story comes from the course “Lead the Field” a great business management course I highly recommend.
One day, a man was watching a professional football game on television. His five-year-old son kept bothering him. So the man tore out a page of the Sunday paper. It was a full-page airline ad that showed a picture of the world- the planet earth as seen from space. He tore up the page into a dozen pieces and gave them to his son. He said to him, “Here put this picture together and show daddy how smart you are”. He then went back to watching his football game.
In a surprisingly short time, the youngster had taped the picture back together. It wasn’t very neat, but it was a very good job, indeed, for one so young. “Hey, that’s amazing!” the father said. “how did you put that world together so quickly?”
The little boy said “There was a picture of a man on the other side. I just put the man together and then the world was all together”
The youngster was no doubt surprised by the big, warm hug he got. “that’s right, son.” said the father “When the man is all together, this world is all together too”
Continue reading “A MAN AND HIS WORLD…”
Exercise is a great stress reliever, health and life improver. So why would a site dedicated to living a positive rewarding life tell you to get off the exercise bike. Well I am speaking metaphorically. I once heard it said “Worrying is like riding an exercise bike, you get really tired, but you do not get anywhere”. Working with the public affords me a great opportunity to experience a great cross-section of people. Do you know what I noticed? People worry far too much. I found this stat about what people worry about very interesting.
Of all the things that we do worry about
things that never happen 40%
things over and past that can’t be changed 30%
needless worries about our health 12%
petty miscellaneous worries 10%
real legitimate worries 8% Continue reading “GET OFF THE EXERCISE BIKE!!”
An interesting fact was brought to my attention that I think deserves our thought today. When a living thing dies if put in the right heat, pressure and situation it becomes a fossil, or stone. A mere statue of its former self. Not as useful, not as lovely to look at, and not nearly as alive. In the same thought, when a lump of coal is subjected to heat, pressure and the right situation it becomes a diamond. Very useful, much lovelier to look at and with a brilliant shine. So as this week begins to unfold, are we going to let the heat and pressure of life’s situations turn us into a fossil, cold and not very useful, or are we to become a diamond, full of shine and polish from all we have made it through and accomplished. That very decision is up to us. So when the challenges arrive this week, ask yourself “Am I going to let this turn me into a fossil or a diamond”. Have a great week my friends!
For years I always wondered what the secret to success was. I read books to learn. Listened to cds, went to seminars and workshops trying to find this elusive piece of inspiration. Never quite felt that ‘I had it’. So I began to listen to friends, co-workers and customers who I felt embodied success. Strangest thing was, a lot of them said they were unsuccessful and searching for the secret to success as well. It was quite by accident, or perhaps fate, that this all changed. I stumbled upon this secret when I asked one of these people whom I considered quite successful what I considered a simple question. What is the definition of success? He looked at me quizzically and replied “you know I don’t really know”. The fact was, neither did I. How on earth was I ever to find the secret of success when I didn’t even have a personal definition of what it meant to me. Ask yourself, what does success mean to you? Is it being a caring parent? A loving spouse perhaps? obtaining a certain income or place in your business? Although these are all very worthwhile goals they all have one fatal flaw. After you reach them, then what? Are you then successful? Is the game over?
Allow me to share with you the best definition of success I have ever heard. It was from Earl Nightingale. Long before the movie ‘The Secret” or law of attraction was so in fashion, Earl was the first person to ever receive a gold record for spoken word. The piece was called “the Strangest Secret” I encourage you all to check it out. In it, Mr Nightingale describes success as this “The progressive realization of a worthy ideal”. What does this mean exactly? Well let us take the goal of being a great parent. If that is your goal and you are working towards it, then by all accounts you are a success. Now what if you make a mistake? Well that is part of the journey as well, we learn from our mistakes. So you are even more of a success. Let me get a little more personal. My goal is to have a daily blog that is viewed across the globe (six countries so far) that brings positivity and a rewarding life to all who read it. I also am working on a book of the same design. Now does that mean I will only be a success when my book is printed and my blog is read in every country? Not hardly. I have my goal and am working toward it, so now I consider myself a success.
So today think about your goal. What is your life’s ambition. Write it down so you can see it every day. Keep in your mind’s eye as you go about your day. Know as soon as you do this you are already a success. Soon paths that you never would have seen shall open up and you will be on your way. If you need a little encouragement or a good solid plan I suggest you check out “The Strangest Secret” available at nightingale.com. Here’s to all of us being a success!
Every so often I discover new and exciting tools that one can add to your life to increase the amount of joy and light. Here is such an avenue that many of you may enjoy exploring. A good friend of mine is a reiki master and medium. She offers both Reiki sessions. Which for those of you who do not know involves working with the bodies energy to heal and energize. She also offers readings of different kinds. Without explaining it in an incorrect fashion I encourage all of you to take a look at her website and decide for yourself. It might be just what you need! Not to mention she also has rates for parties, so if you wish to bring some friends along you can share your experience with each other. I think exploring every different chance to better our lives is worth a look, so feel free to check out her website and let me know what you think.
Since I started this site I have had a few people tell me, “I like what your doing, but I have no time to be happy. I have to pay the pills and make dinner for my kids. I can’t worry about making myself happy. I have to concentrate on what is important”. That statement surpises me and yet it doesn’t. A lot of the influences we hear tell us that to worry about ourselves and our own happiness is selfish. We are taught to ‘put others before ourselves’. So why is being happy so important? Why should we spend so much time worrying about what makes us or others happy? Well we could look at the scientific facts that have been mentioned in the media so often. A positive attitude helps us live longer, boost our immune system, heal from injury quicker. Even if you have no interest in living a longer healthier life, although I am not sure who wouldn’t, happiness is still more important than most of us realize. It reduces our stress levels and allows us better to face the challenges that always pop up at the most unexpected times. How often we regret reacting to a mild irritation in a severe way just because our thoughts were already focused on some other trouble. It leaves hurt feelings and turns another situation from bad to worse. If we do our best to keep our thoughts focused on the joy that life offers us and adding more to our lives, then we shall see situations as they are. For those of you that are familiar with the Law of attraction, which states like attracts like. It should be apparent why being happy is so important. If you are happy you attract more happiness into your life, if you are unhappy you will be more likely to be faced with negative situations again and again.
So if we are busy focused on our own happiness, what should we bother worrying about others happiness? Well, recently that was shown to me in a dramatic and tragic way. A wonderful co-worker of mine took his own life a few days ago. When such an event happens we are always left with the same questions “how could I not know?”, and “What could I have done?”. Truth is, most of the time there is nothing we could have done, and no way we would’ve known. In this case by all accounts this gentleman was filled with good humor and had a real zest for life. Which stresses the importance even more. We never know what is going on in someones world. So consider that when dealing with the cheery lady at the coffee shop, or the grumpy cashier at the grocery store. We are never sure when someone may need that genuine compliment, or sign of gratitude from us. How important can happiness be? It can be a matter of life and death, for both ourselves and those we care about.
“We must learn to live together as brothers or we will perish together as fools”
-Martin Luther king jr.
Judgement is one thing that can truly separate us from each other. Let’s be honest, there are both good and bad people in every race, religion, culture, country and any other group you can break society down into. Disliking someone based on the fact that they are different than you in appearance or in belief only hurts yourself. Not only are you the one who gets upset, but you remove the possibility of meeting many fabulous people who could add joy and other great things to your life. I am always surprised to hear expressions of prejudice in todays global world. With as much communication as we have with each other and how interdependent we are on each other to me it seems antiquated at best. Being an enlightened individual means keeping your mind open to all views. Not that you have to agree with them, but as much as we would like others to respect our views, we should be honored to do the same for them. I can not begin to convey the joys all my friends have brought me and can’t imagine leaving any of them out just because they are different then me. So remember, when you hold judgement against someone else, it not only affects their joy, but steals yours as well.
You may wonder what such a title is doing in a blog about living a positive and rewarding life? Throughout the course of my life I have read a great deal of self-improvement/law of attraction type books. A lot of times ideas and thoughts are repeated in slighty different ways. Which is good. It let’s you know what seems to be working for a great deal of different people. Once in a while, however, you come across a fresh idea which you haven’t heard before. This is one such time. Do you ever wonder, “Is this what I should be doing with my life?” or “How do I know what the right path is for me?”. I know I have. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was a way to see if what you are currently doing matches your values and priorities? There is! I prefer to call this ‘Keeping the end in mind’. Sit down and prepare to write your own eulogy. What would you want said about you at your memorial service? Was it that you were a good parent and raised your children in a loving fashion? Then family would be a great value to you. Perhaps it is that you showed kindness to everyone you met. Then compassion would be a trait that is of great importance to you. Truth is, when we decide what legacy we would like to leave behind it gives our lives purpose and us a sense of direction. If a eulogy seems a bit to dark for you, then try imagining what they would say at an awards presentation. personally I like the eulogy as it also serves to remind us that time is one of the most precious commodities and we should spend it doing what we love and what bring joy and love to the rest of the world. So ask yourself, “what would I want them to say about me?” You’ll never wonder if you’re on the right path again.
I recently received a thank you note from the daughter of a customer who passed away. The note was thanking me for attending her funeral and for always leaving her little pieces of chocolate. What really got me thinking was the great lengths she went to explain that it was not so much the treats that made her smile, but the fact that somebody felt she was special. You see this women was in her mid 80’s and her husband had passed some years before. My first meeting with this fabulous woman was last October when I started at the post office I currently work at. It is a small and rural town of only a few hundred people and everyone seems to know, well…everyone. Here comes a long-haired guy from out-of-town, I thought it would take me forever to win them over. Well in walks this lady and proceeds to tell me she is the Queen of the town. She asked if I was the ‘new kid they put out there’ and really just proceeded to give me a hard time in general. She informed me if I wanted to make it in that town, I better be nice and it wouldn’t hurt if I brought chocolate. So the following day when she came in I was sure to have both milk and dark chocolates, the kind with the little inspirational messages in the wrapper. From that day forward she would stop in to make sure I was behaving. The payment for this service? You guessed it, a small piece of chocolate. Before her passing of cancer shortly before Christmas we got to have a little chat at the diner across the street where she confessed she worried she gave me to hard of a time at first. I assured her, that was the best thing that could’ve happened as it made me feel right at home. I told her how much I worried about fitting in and what a small town would think of me. She said something I’ll never forget “Always be yourself, if you’re nice people will be able to see that. If you’re not nice then they will let you know it”. She passed away only a few days later. The lesson I took from this on reflection today was something we may forget. Always be yourself, you never know when you are just what someone needs. Also, if someone does make your day just by being themselves, thank them. You never know when you may no longer have a chance.