YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO BE AROUND THESE PEOPLE

Becoming the best version of ourselves is difficult. There is the task of finding the information, tools and strategies that will give us the best results. That is a uniquely personal experience. As with most things in life, what works for one person may not work for the next. Once we have that knowledge, we need both the motivation and self-discipline to put it into action or we may as well remain ignorant. Add to this the voice inside our heads reminding us of all our past failures and cautioning us against anything that will take us out of our comfort zone. Are you aware that roughly 80% of our self-talk is negative? That certainly makes our self-improvement journey a lot more difficult. I tell you this because I have worked through all of this.

Keeping all of this in mind, there is one thing we can ill-afford to do. That is to surround ourselves with people who view our growth as their competition. There are many reasons why people may think this way. Not all of them are malicious. Yes, there are those who do not want you to look better than them. This can be ego. It can be vanity. It can even be for economic or sociological gain. They may want to look better in front of the boss. They could want to look like the best in a social circle. The first rule in dealing with these people can be summed up in 2 words – let them. Trying to convince others of your importance is seldom a good use of time or energy. You would be better served putting that energy into actually making yourself better.

Not all of these folks operate out of malice. For some, your growth can be competition with their fragile ego or hidden insecurities. “If he makes more money, he will be too good to hang around with me anymore.” or “If she focuses on fitness, she will not want to date someone like me.” These folks view your growth as competition for their place in your life. Ideally, these people should use that insecurity as motivation to improve themselves. They should be celebrating any success of their friends. We all know that it does not always work this way.

You can offer reassurance and encouragement to some degree. If that doesn’t work, it may be time to limit your exposure to them. You face enough obstacles to becoming the best version of yourself. You do not need another one. You could always circle back to the relationship after you reach a certain level of growth, but chances are, you may not want to. Anyone who views your growth as their competition can derail your success where they do so with malice, with fear, with insecurity or any other reason. You cannot afford to let that happen. Surround yourself with people who both encourage you as well as celebrate with you.