3 WORDS THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE! (OK MAYBE 2)

It can be hard to decide what actions to take and how to take them to improve different areas of your life. It may benefit you to meal prep and eat healthy meals for your physical well-being. Those same actions may not be the best ideas if you are trying to create a romantic date with you and your partner. Going to the gym is a great to reduce stress, but takes time away from your kids. Unless, of course, you get them to go to the gym with you. It would be so wonderful if there were a universal character trait that we could incorporate and develop in our lives that would benefit everything. Great news, there is!

Even better news is that it is only 3 words you need to start using in your life. Still too much? Ok, it is actually 2 words, because the last 2 are a hyphenated word, thus they are actually one word. Bad news for some of you, those words are consistent self-discipline. Here is why it needs to be those words. If you are self-disciplined ‘once in a while’, which really is not being disciplined at all, you will not see much of a difference in your life, if any at all. If you are careful with your diet one day, and the next get the most for your money at the all-you-can-eat buffet, your waistline will not shrink. If you workout every Monday, but sit around on your butt the other 6 days, a healthy physique will not be in your future. The picture above shows us the great reason to be self-disciplined. If we are, we control ourselves. If we only eat healthy if they are sold out of Bavarian cream doughnuts at the grocery store, they control us. side note: I found the secret here is to skip that section all together at first. If we only manage to control our road rage when the driver ahead of us actually does the speed limit, then they control us. Being self-disciplined means we control ourselves. Isn’t that how life should be?

Here is another reason to be consistently self-disciplined – it speaks to your integrity. (another great word to work on) If you only give your partner flowers when you make them mad, you are someone looking to make up for their mistakes. Not exactly a bad thing, but still reacting to the moment. If you are someone who is consistently taking action that will improve your relationship. You bring flowers home for no other reason than to put a smile on your partner’s face. You genuinely compliment them when you notice something wonderful about them. You help without being asked. Then you are someone who is in control of their role in the relationship. It speaks to your character as a good life partner. If you only avoid those doughnuts one day a week, you are someone struggling to be healthy. If the doughnuts are the exception and not the rule, you are a healthy person.

Here is the best reason to be consistent in your self-discipline – it allows you to accomplish things. If you want to be a success at ANYTHING, you need to be self-disciplined, and you need to be so consistently. If you want to be healthy, if you want to be wealthy, if you want to have an amazing life or relationship, if you want to be a great writer or cake designer, you need to be consistent in your self-discipline. You need to take the actions on a daily basis that allow you to become the person who will accomplish the goals you are chasing. This formula does not allow doing things only when you feel like it, or when it is easy. Everyone likes to go to the gym when it is convenient, but what about when it is freezing outside? How about when it is raining? Snowing? You must be consistent in your discipline and your dedication.

How do you become self-disciplined? I will give you 3 quick ways and encourage you to research more on your own. First, take a look at the picture to start this post. There are a lot of great ideas. Second, pick up so good books on the subject and practice what they say. One of my favorites is Discipline Equals Freedom by Jocko Willink. Third, and most important, develop your why. If you have a strong enough purpose, it will keep you going when the feeling to do so is absent. I would love to hear your tips for staying disciplined in the comments below. We could all use a little extra help in this area.

I’M PROMITING G.O.Y.A…๐Ÿคจ

Do not worry. This is not some sort of legally questionable promotion of a Mexican food product by a daughter of a president of the United States. In fact, it has nothing to do with that brand of food. Although, many of their products are very tasty. This is about a missing step that many people miss in pursuing an amazing life. It is also a vital step in using the Law of Attraction that people often miss. It was mentioned in the movie The Secret, but somehow most people missed it, including several of the people who were in the movie.

The steps listed in the Law of Attraction, and the movie The Secret, are to 1. ask 2. believe 3. receive. There is an important aspect missing here. If you think positive thoughts and you believe, it will put you in the right mental and emotional state, but people will still come and take your car and furniture unless you add a step between 2 and 3. That step is inspired action. It was mentioned in the movie, and often in books and lectures on LOA, but because it is not listed as one of the steps, many people miss it. Following the first two steps will put opportunities in front of you. If you do nothing else, they will find themselves in front of someone else. It is like when the server places a gourmet meal in front of you. If you don’t grab the knife and fork and dig in, you will never enjoy it.

In this case, G.O.Y.A. stands for get off your ass. Goals are great. Planning is wonderful. If it is not followed up by action, you are not going to get anywhere. Many people worry, “What if I take the wrong action?” Better to do that and find out and be able to switch it up to the correct action. If you do nothing, you will get nothing. Inspired action should not feel too much like work. The excitement of knowing you are getting closer to accomplishing your goals should keep you motivated.

It might not be a bad idea to purchase a can of your favorite Goya product and place it somewhere you can see. It will serve as a great reminder that we all need to take action to get anywhere in our life. You need to put in the work in the physical realm as well as the mental and spiritual. Go ahead, visualize, meditate, but then go hit the gym or get outside and work. Picture yourself as a best-selling author, but then sit down and write 1000 words. You must put in the work. G.O.Y.A.

WHAT IS YOUR PRESCRIPTION?๐Ÿ’Š

I would like to relay another story to you. This one also drove home a great point people may have a hard time grasping emotionally. Inside this story is the secret to an amazing life. It is a difficult and uncomfortable secret, but a powerful one. If you get the lesson in this story (don’t worry we will talk about it after) then you will have what you need to begin transforming your life starting today. I warn you, that you might not be ready to read this story. Although it will provide you the potential to positively impact your life, it will require a few things on your part. These are things that people may find difficult and uncomfortable. The payoff is that if you do make the sacrifice, you will have less stress and worry. You will also have a much greater feeling of control over your life. It will require you to be brutally honest with yourself. It will require you to get rid of your excuses and your ability to blame. In their place, you will need to take on a feeling of responsibility and accountability.

Are you ready? Here we go. A man goes to visit the doctor. The doctor inquires as to the nature of his ailments. The man goes on to describe a list of issues he seems to be having in his life. The doctor listens to the seemingly unrelated issues the man is having. After he has finished explaining everything that ails him, the doctor replies, “I need to write you several prescriptions.” He proceeds to scribble on a tablet of paper, rip the sheet off, and start on the next. He does this for 5 or 6 sheets. The man assumes he will be getting 5 or 6 medicines. The man asks for his prescriptions so he can be on his way. “Oh these are not for you.” The doctor replies. The man looks confused. “This one is for your mother-in-law. This other one is for your boss. This third one is for the rude person at the coffee shop.” He continues this for each of the medicines.

This story may strike you as crazy. How is this man ever going to get better if all of the treatments go to the other people in his life? Great question. How do we ever expect our lives to change when we are blaming and waiting for everyone else to change? If we truly want our lives to change, it is us who has to do the changing. Wayne Dyer once said, “When we change the way we look at things; the things we look at change.” This could not be more true. Some of you may argue, “Why do I have to change when it is my stupid boss who treats me unfair? He is the one that has to change!” Let me ask you this, whether it is your boss, your spouse or the driver who cut you off in traffic, while you wait for them to change, how is your own life improving? How long do you think you will have to wait until they change so your life can begin improving? My guess would be somewhere between a really long time and never.

This may make the situation seem hopeless, but that could not be further from the truth! When you stop blaming others and waiting for them to change, you take back control of your life. I will give you one tool and one strategy to start using today that has helped me and will definitely help you. First the tool. I recommend the book Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. These two former Navy Seals show how they used extreme ownership to become great leaders in the world of combat. Which, I would guess, is far more intense than most of what we are going through. Pick yourself up a copy. Whether from Amazon or the public library.

Here is the strategy. This does not require you to read anything and you can begin to use it as soon as you finish reading this blog. I get this idea from Rhonda Byrne in one of her great books. I think it was The Power, but do not quote me on that. People who irritate you, vex you or cause some other unpleasantness in your life can be hard to put up with. I certainly have a few of my own. She recommends viewing them as ‘Personal Emotional Trainers’ or P.E.T.s. This gives you 2 distinct benefits. Frist, like a physical trainer, who pushes you when you feel you are on the brink of death, you know in the end you will be a stronger better person. I know after a hard workout, you do not usually feel like taking your trainer out for a cocktail. You might look at them wondering what kind of sadistic tendencies make people do that to other people. Maybe that is just me. You don’t say any of these things because you know their goal is to make you a better person. Guess what? Those annoying people you would be tempted to say something to? You just hired them as your trainers. In this case it is for your emotions and your behavior. When you may look at someone with anger or even road rage, just know they are your trainers. You don’t want to fail in front of your trainer. Not to mention, I think many of them get some sort of sick pleasure out of seeing that happen. Nope, you are going to thank them (Don’t worry you can do that part in your mind) and know they are making you an emotionally stronger and more resilient person.

I know I told you 2 benefits. I did not forget the second one. Although, that has been know to happen on occasion. Here is the best part. When you feel like your new personal emotional trainer may have pushed you a little too hard, remember the acronym – P.E.T. Just know they are your pet. When you think of a pet, is it like the cute little dog above? Maybe imagine walking that person on a lease through the park may make you feel better. Whatever works to help you take their negative behavior and let it turn you into a better person.

LOSING YOUR KEYS CAN MAKE IT SO CLEAR ๐Ÿ”‘

This blog post was influenced by a story I heard relayed by Wayne Dyer. I like Wayne. He was a great guy. This story really helps clarify a point a lot of us have a hard time visualizing. Come along for this little story, won’t you? It begins with a lady who loses her keys in her apartment. As she begins to look for them, the power goes out. It is completely dark. She looks out her window and notices that a street light is on. She thinks to herself, “Why am I looking in here in the dark? I am going to go outside where the street light is on.” So, she proceeds to begin to look in the street for her keys. Soon, the neighbor sees her looking and comes over. “What are you looking for?” He asks. She explains she is looking for her keys. He offers to help and they continue to look for roughly half an hour. Trying to get a better idea where to look, the neighbor inquires where she might have dropped them. “In my apartment.” she replies calmly. He asks her why on earth she would be out here looking for them if she knew they were in her apartment. She explains the power outage and how it is too dark and difficult to look inside, so she came out there where the street light was on.

This story may sound crazy, and it is. Why would someone look outside for something they know is inside? Yet, is that not what we do when we are trying to fix a problem in our life? We know the work needs to be done on the inside, but it is often to dark and difficult in there. We then switch to the outside world where things are far easier to tackle. Just like the lost keys example, we can search all we want for a solution, but unless we look inside, we will never find what is missing. Much like the approach Western medicine takes, if you will allow me to mix my metaphors, we are merely treating the symptoms and not the cause. There is no way that we will ever have a cure.

THE ONE IMPORTANT THING ๐Ÿš•

Listening to an audiobook by Joseph Murphy this morning and heard this gem. For those of you who do not know who he is, allow me to enlighten you. Joseph Murphy is the author of the book The Power of Your Subconscious Mind. (among many others) It is one of the 3 things I give people when they are looking to turn their life around. Definitely in my top 5 books. This was another one of his books, but I think it is a powerful story that drives home a very important point.

In my second book, Living the Dream, I devote a whole section on the importance of having a life mission statement. If you would like to know more about that, I invite you to check out that book for that, and many other life-changing tools and strategies. One thing that I hear a lot at seminars and book signings is “I am not too good at being a multi-tasker.” I assure people that is a good thing. The human mind was designed to focus on one task at a time. When we busy our selves with trying to do many things at once, we end up doing many things half-ass, if you will excuse the language. It would serve us far better if we were to take one task at a time, focus on and complete it, and then move on to the next. It also usually ends up taking less time as well. Why do you think the most efficient manner of getting large projects done is an assembly line?

Many people have a hard time grasping or believing this as we have been fed the ‘multi-tasking lie’ for far too long. The story Dr. Murphy shares in his book is a great example. I will give you the abridged version here. A man hails a taxi cab. Climbs in and tells the cabby he wants to go to the airport. About 5 minutes into the drive he asks to be taken back home because he forgot his passport. Cabby turns around and takes him there. Back on the way to the airport he stops him again. “Can we stop at my work? I forgot my wallet.” he says. So, the cabby again turns around. Leaving his work, the cab driver asks him if he is sure he is ready to go to the airport. “Oh yes.” the man replies. No sooner do they start off, the man stops him again. “Can we stop and see my mother? I forgot to tell her goodbye.” Cab driver checks the meter and again turns around. Hopping back in the cab after his mother’s house, the man proceeds to give the cab driver multiple other locations to go to. Finally, the cab driver drops him off at the police station because he realizes he is insane.

This may seem like an amusing and comical story, but it is exactly what we do to our brain when we do not have a clear goal or purpose. If we attempt to do too many things at once, we are like the man in the cab. We are giving our brains multiple locations to travel to at the same time. The brain works best when it does not have to switch focus again and again. There was a study done that stated it takes the average person 23 minutes to get into a zone with a project they are working on. What do you think happens when we are switching things up every ten minutes? The brain is like the cab driver who thought, “I am going to drop this man off at the police station. He is insane.” Terrible thing when your own brain thinks you are insane. If you want to complete multiple tasks, it is better to focus on one and do it to the best of our ability and then move on to the next. They will get done quicker and with better quality. Same with an overall purpose in your life.

WHEN NECESSARY, USE WORDS

On this site, we never push a particular faith. I feel what faith you follow is your business. We have drawn inspiration from many different beliefs through the years. It is my belief there is good in almost every faith. I think they all have great wisdom that applies to all of us. Take the quote attributed to Saint Francis of Assisi above. There is some debate as to whether he actually said this or not, but that is not important for our message today. This site is about the secrets to an amazing life. One of those secrets is living a life of integrity. There is nothing that would trip us up more than knowing we are not practicing what we preach. It will not only make us look like a hypocrite to others, but make us feel like one to ourselves.

I think it is important to ‘preach’ and share your message. In my own life, that has been one of encouragement and self-empowerment. I routinely share a message of living a positive and fulfilling life. How do you think that would resonate if I went around telling people the value, physically and mentally, of living a positive life, while I was always angry and belittling people? What do you think people would say? My guess is something like “Bugger off!” as my British friends say. Yes, it is important to walk your walk, but it is more than that. If you do not live what you preach, is it even worth the words you speak?

This applies to so many areas, but one that comes to mind often is that of a parent. You can tell your children what is right and wrong a million times, but they will learn more by watching what you do. If your words and actions do not match, they may stop listening all together. As a example of the faith you follow, make sure your actions match the moral directive put forth by that belief. For example, if your faith preaches love and acceptance of all (most do) yet, you find yourself telling racist or sexist jokes at the office, or judging people according to their beliefs, you are not preaching your gospel with your actions. As a parent, if you tell your kids it is important to manage their money, but you are sneaking in their piggy bank for the house payment, you are not preaching your gospel as a parent.

This week, take a second to think of the beliefs you share with others. Then, ask yourself, “How can I demonstrate these beliefs with my actions?” This can be your spiritual beliefs, your parental beliefs, your beliefs about being a good friend, or any other belief you may have. Think of the quote above as you make your way through the week. Preach your gospel through your actions, and when necessary, use words.

ARE YOU SAYING “NO!” TO ANGELS?๐Ÿ˜‡

I am not sure if you heard this story before, but I would love to share it with you. It first came to me while listening to a speech from Jim Rohn. It involves a man who finds himself trapped in his house during a flood. The water is right to his door when a rescue boat rows up and tells him to get in. “No thanks. The Lord will save me.” is the man’s reply. The rain continues and the water is now up to the second story. Another boat comes by and tells him to get in. “I know the Lord will save me.” the man informs the would be rescuers. Things are getting pretty bad and our friend finds himself on the roof of his house. The storm is raging and a third boat can hardly reach him. “This will be your last chance!” They plead with him to get in the boat. “I am not worried. The Lord will save me.” he informs them. Reluctantly, they leave the man. Finally, he is on the ridge of his roof, on his tip toes. His head just above the water he cries out for God to save him. Suddenly, a helicopter appears above him. They start to lower the ladder, but the man waves them off. “God is coming to save me!” He yells over the storm and the helicopter. Moments later, the man drowns and dies. Up at the pearly gates he asked God, “I prayed to you over and over. Why didn’t you save me?” God replies, “I sent 3 boats and a helicopter.”

This story is told mostly to reinforce the axiom “God helps them who help themselves.” To be sure, while praying we need to do our part and take action. No matter what your faith, or what you believe, you need to act and do your part to help yourself. I think it is a humorous and great reminder of that. Another lesson that we should take from this is that help comes in many shapes, sizes, colors and of course people. There are many people I know that have a hard time asking for and accepting help. Whether you believe these people are divinely sent or not, it is important to learn to both ask and accept help with a good deal of grace. Why? Let me ask you this, how do you feel when you are able to help someone? How about someone you really care about? Have you ever been able to help a stranger? How did that feel? If you are someone reading a site about living an amazing life, I am guessing you have done most, if not all, of them. Didn’t it feel good? Especially helping someone you love and care about. However, knowing you made a complete stranger have a little more faith in humanity can give you a little spring in your step.

Now, I ask you this, why would you deny that feeling to someone else? We may feel like we are being a burden to those offering help. In reality, we are providing them an opportunity to feel valued and important. Want to make it even better? When the help has been given, or even before, let them know how much they are appreciated. Again, just remember how good it felt when you were told you were appreciated. There are few things better than being informed how much you, and your help, are valued by the person you are offering assistance to.

When you say ‘no’ to those offering their assistance, you may very well be declining help from those who were sent to you. Whether you believe that is from God, the universe or whatever else that may be, it does not matter. It would be rather uncomfortable, to say the least, to be in the position of the drowning man. To ask God why your prayers were not answered; only to find you turned down angels that were sent to you.

IMPORTANT THOUGHT AFTER THE ELECTION ๐Ÿ—ณ๐Ÿค”

Here in the United States, people are reacting to the results of the recent elections. Some are rejoicing. Some are quite upset. Some are worried. Some races have yet to be decided. As I mentioned on my post the day of the election, we should focus on uniting despite our differences. Now that elections are over, the focus should be on how to work together to come up with solutions that make a better life for all of us. It can be hard to understand and appreciate those who have a different thought or opinion than we do. I am hoping this picture above helps. Which gent do you think is right? If you look at the picture, you would be inclined to say, “Both of them.” How can that be? How can they both be right?

In the picture it is easy to see that the situation is correct for both gents because it looks different based on their perspective. Hmmm…something to think about. This is easy to see and appreciate in this visual example. The same holds true for spiritual, social and philosophical examples as well. If you were raised in a household that never had to worry about money, you would look at situations and life far differently than someone raised in a poor family. If you were raised in a Christian household, you may have a certain set of values. Those would differ in many ways than if you were raised in a Muslim household. Even a Christian household in say… Peru, would be different than one in Greenland.

Yet, knowing that situations could not possibly be the same, we spend the majority of time and effort trying to convince others that our way and opinion is the right one. Can you see how foolish this is now? Instead we should say, “This person has an opinion and way of doing things that is different than mine. How can we both respect our differences and work together to come up with a solution for the problems we are facing?” When I mention things like this, people tell me that will never happen. They say it is too much of a fantasy. They call me an idealist and say these thoughts are radical. I feel quite the contrary. To me, they are the most logical and productive course of action. Why is being able to respect our differences while working together seem so untenable? It would be the logical course of action if we hope to promote peace and further progress.

My guess why people find this hard to believe and even harder to picture being put in place is because it involves being able to control your emotions. To most people, the thought that we can control our emotions instead of letting them control us, is as foreign as speaking a different language. That does not make it any less true. I implore you to not only picture this way of relating to one another, but to work towards it. Elections have a way of either bringing us together or tearing us apart. Once again, it is important to realise that decision is solely in the hands of the people. Not the media reporting it. Not the political leaders who appear to be running the show. Not the winners. Not the losers. The power to decide if we are going to work against one another or to work with one another is entirely up to us the voters. Stay united and learn to work with each other. In the world, in your community and in your neighborhood.

ARE YOU THIS KIND OF PERSON?๐Ÿค”

I think it would be safe to say that most of us underestimate the effect we have on others around us. We hear a lot about emotional trauma people are still feeling from a hurtful act that someone did to them years ago. How many of us still carry around a hurtful memory of a cruel thing someone said to us? It seems painful emotions seem to leave more of a lasting impression. If we think long and hard enough, can’t we remember a teacher who believed in us? How about a meaningful compliment someone paid us that made our day? I do believe we need to put more emphasis on these for two very important reasons.

The first reason is that it helps us balance ourselves and realize that we can overlook a lot of positive experiences that occur in our lives. This can leave us feeling that life is far worse that it actually is. When we were young, when did we right in our diaries? Usually after a heartbreak or some very upsetting moment. As adults, we have to realize to record all of the peaks, as well as the valleys. This can leave us with a feeling of hope and optimisim.

The other reason we should put more attention on the positive inspiring moments should be obvious, but in case it is not, I shall explain it here. One of the most selfish things you can do is to do something for someone else. Why is it selfish? Because it leaves you with such a great feeling you often leave filled with even more joy than the person you helped. One of the greatest ways we can help is to just make as many people as we come in contact with a little happier. That could be through an act of courtesy, a genuine compliment, or another random act of kindness. If we did this for as many people as we can in a day, and each one gives us that feeling of joy, imagine how we would feel at the end of the day?

When you strive to bring light and joy to as many lives as you can every day, there are so many wonderful side-effects that occur. First, you find yourself more popular. People remember your name. Not because of what you did for them or said to them necessarily, but because of how you made them feel. When they do see you, chances are they will greet you with a smile and pleasant demeanor. Can you imagine if 90% of the people you encountered greeted you this way? If you strive to be the person who brings light and love to every situation, they will. Everyone likes someone who makes them feel good. Be that person.

DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH ‘DUH’ TIME?๐Ÿคช

Here is an example of how ideas and inspirations can come up when you are least likely to expect them. This one was relayed to me last Sunday night, or what would more accurately be described as very early Monday morning. After a night of DJing, Margie and I were speaking to our friend Heidi. She is a good friend of ours and this site, often adding very thought-provoking comments to a lot of my posts.

This particular conversation highlighted our morning routines. Mine was about to begin in roughly 2 hours after we completed our show and got back home. We usually get home about 2am and my alarm goes off at 4:45am. This is an every Monday ordeal. Heidi mentioned that in the morning she has what she referred to as ‘Duh Time’. When pressed as to what this actually meant, she explained it was just time sitting in silence not thinking or doing anything. Just sitting there mentally unattached. In a world where many of us wake up and grab our phone or check our emails, this is a very healthy alternative.

These moments of silence are worth their weight in gold. Starting our day with some time for ourselves and our thoughts allows us to get ourselves together. Before injecting any outside influences into our day, which can often be of the negative variety, we have a second to just breathe and relax. If we want to make this even more powerful, after a few minutes in silence, we could add some thoughts of gratitude or gratitude affirmations. There is another thing that happens during this ‘Duh Time’.

Often, our subconscious mind will have been working on a problem that is vexing us in the background. This happens while we are sleeping or otherwise occupied doing something else. When if finally comes up with a great idea and solution, it has to relay that information to the conscious or waking mind. The trouble is, when we are always busy thinking or doing something, there is no opportunity for our mind to speak to us. It is like trying to interject a meaningful replay to a friend who never stops talking. You may have the greatest idea, but they will never hear it if they don’t stop and listen. They same can be said with your mind. We need to stop and listen.

Give yourself some ‘Duh Time’. Your mind will thank you. Your day will thank you. Your life will thank you. I would love to hear what benefits you have found in sitting in silence. Is there a morning ritual that you find helps you live an amazing life? Share it with the rest of us so that we may benefit as well.