BECOME SOMEONE WHO CANNOT BE OWNED

Last post we looked at the kind of people you do not want in your life. Let us switch gears and take a look at the kind of people you do want in your life and the kind of person you should strive to become. The quote above from Epictetus gives us the formula. That is to be some who can walk away from desires in order to achieve goals. I am paraphrasing, but that is the lesson there. If your goal is to become healthier, but you often desire doughnuts and ice cream, you will have to choose one of them.

Here is another consideration. If we are constantly giving into our desires, they in a sense become our masters. If you cannot say ‘no’ to the doughnut in the breakroom, then you will forever be working on developing a healthy eating plan. That is not to say an occasional doughnut will ruin everything. What we are saying here is that you need to develop the will, the focus and the self-discipline to turn down immediate gratification in order to reach a long-term goal. That seems rather logical, but in today’s world, it is a rare quality.

Another prime example is getting hooked on social media. You know you are supposed to clean the kitchen, but you will take a break to watch just a few videos. An hour later there you sit, phone in hand with a dirty kitchen. It takes roughly 20 minutes for the brain to focus on an activity. Meaning every time you take that break, you are resetting the clock. Normal adult brains to require a quick reset around the 90 minute mark. It should not last too long, or you may find yourself unable to get started again. You must be able to discipline yourself or you will not achieve many goals in life. If it helps, make deals with your desires. You will watch that otter video after the kitchen is clean. You can have a doughnut after you complete your workout or reach a certain goal weight.

To achieve anything great in life, you must be able to delay immediate gratification to fit the long-term goal. How you do this is up to you. Doing it is not an option. Ancient philosophers knew it. In today’s world, it is even more important. Feel free to share your secrets for staying focused.