Tag: Relationships

A LIFE SECRET ðŸ™Š

This is one of the many thought patterns that I use to help me live an amazing life. Allowing situations to be what they are is so key to reducing stress and increasing productivity. So many people spend their energy upset and complaining about why a situation is not to their liking. The only effect that this has is to raise their own stress level. We all know what a prolonged raise in stress can do to us both mentally as well as physically.

Allowing situations to be as they are does not mean you allow yourself to be victim to those situations. Quite the opposite. Fighting against the reality of the situation is like swimming against a current. You may certainly wish the river was flowing in the opposite direction. You can even complain that it is not. Neither of these will change the situation of the river, or more importantly, your situation. Conversely, accepting the river is going in the opposite direction you may want to go, and then making the best of it, may be getting out of the river and walking on the shore. Sure, it might not be as quick as if you were in a river flowing in the right direction, but it will be a lot less stressful, and a lot more productive, than swimming against the current.

In your own life, there are many situations that we wish were different. Accepting them for what they are, followed by asking ourselves how we can make the best of them is a secret to an amazing life.

RELATIONSHIP SECRET 🙊

My lovely lady is planning a date to take me on. I have not a clue as to what it might be. As you are reading this, it will have already occurred and I am sure I will be inspired to write some wonderful thing about it. Here is what the date has already inspired – the importance of being a good listener. The quote from Mr. Hemingway above gives us a clue as to how to become a great listener. Being present is such an important aspect of listening. Do not busy yourself formulating a reply while the person is still conveying what they have to say. Not only is this very poor manners, you will miss a good deal of valuable information.

My lady and I have a saying we use. Listen to learn and understand and not to reply. In doing so, we not only help solve conflicts better, we learn how to bring each other a greater amount of joy. If you remain present and listen to learn, you will discover things about your partner that you would never learn if you didn’t People will convey what they like and dislike. They will tell you things that make their hearts happy and things that make their heart break. You will be able to buy gifts you are sure your partner will love.

This tip works not just for romantic relationships, but any interaction between two parties. Listening to understand will allow you to proceed with more information and do so in a more intelligent manner. This can be a difference in saving a friendship, working relationship, or romantic relationship. When it comes to the relationship itself, the right kind of listening can be a matter of life or death…of the relationship that is. 

WHERE TO LOOK FOR APPROVAL ðŸ‘€

I think we all enjoy receiving praise from those around us. I know when my lovely lady compliments me, my heart soars. What really matters is what our opinions of ourselves are. This can be a double-edged sword. If we accomplish something great, but do so by ill-gotten means, others may praise you, but inside, you will not be able to be proud of yourself. On the other hand, if you work very hard on a project, stay disciplined and it still does not work out, others may view it as a failure, but you can know what a great character you developed.

There lies the secret of approval. Develop your character to a point where you are satisfied that you have acted in accordance to the best version of yourself. Never stop improving and learning. If you do these actions, you will always have the approval of your inner character. It will allow the opinions of others to hold the appropriate weight.

HOW SOCIAL MEDIA ‘DOESN’T’ WORK ðŸ’”

Ah, social media, the blessing and curse of modern society. There are two great lessons in the example above. To get the most out of social media, and life in general, we are going to look at both of them. We will want to repost this as often as we can in an effort to help the social media experience be better across all platforms.

The first lesson should be obvious, but since there is such an example, it must not be. That is this – if you find something that you object to online, feel free NOT to comment on it. You could just scroll past. Also, drawing conclusions such as the ones our imaginary friend did above happens far too often. Especially during an exchange between what is, at least chronologically, two adults. On social media, and in life, because someone likes something, or perhaps does not like something, does not mean they are evil, have a plan to take over the world or any other conspiracy that people launch into.

The second, and slightly less obvious, lesson is that you do not need to share everything on social media. If it will not add to the good of the world, what is the sense of posting it? Perhaps it may start some disagreement such as above. As we noted earlier, the world is full of people just waiting to get offended by something. This is not to say you just restrict yourself, just ask what is the reason for you posting what you are about to share with the world. Are you someone constantly posting ‘anti’ things against causes you despise? What is the purpose of that? Do you honestly think you will change someone’s mind? I hate to ruin it for you, the answer is likely ‘no’.

In conclusion, while enjoying social media, do not feel compelled to comment on everything that may affect you emotionally in a negative way. If something inspires, motivates or just makes you happy, by all means thank the person. Ask yourself why you feel so compelled to comment and why something someone wrote on an online platform excites you so much? Could your energy be better spent on a task that would help take your life to the next level? Is getting so upset by some words on a screen really good for your health or your spirit? If you find yourself so upset, go for a walk in nature. Do a good deed for another. These actions will have you feeling far better than a juvenile back and forth online.

PLAN WHILE IT IS EASY💪

It is Monday and many of us are facing that weekly challenge of getting back after it while doing our best to stay inspired. Today is a lesson that was brought home to me 2 years ago. I would say I knew this intellectually, but understanding it emotionally took some very extreme circumstances.

As most of you already know, in 2022 I had open-heart surgery. It included some bumpy moments including a brief flirtation with death. In talking to the surgeon and respiratory therapist after the procedure, they both informed me that had I not been in such good shape the outcome could have been quite different. Here is the thing, how long does it take to get in shape? The short answer? Far too long! Had I waited to take care of my body until I was informed of my need for heart surgery, there would not have been enough time.

Life seldom, if ever, gives us a warning that things are going sideways. That is why it is so important to do the difficult things while they are easy. Yes, it is tough to go to the gym after a long day at work, but it is easier to do than after we discover we have a health challenge that may prevent us from doing so. It is hard to get up and go to work, but it is far easier to do so before we have some financial challenge that may require us to do so even more. It may be difficult to turn down the doughnuts and not eat pizza every night, it will be even more difficult than when our health will prohibit doing such things.

If we do the difficult things daily, it will build a character that is strong and full of self-discipline. This will serve us when the difficult things are no longer easy. The same holds true for doing great things while they are small. I believe no matter how small the action you take is, if you do so with love it will be great. Ponder this as we begin our journey in to the week ahead.

RECONNECT NOT REQUIRED ðŸ”Œ

Forgiveness is a gift you truly give yourself. Most of the time, the person you are upset with could care less if you forgive them. Harboring anger only steals your peace. Knowing this, why do people put off forgiving others? I believe there are two reasons. Let us take a look at these one at a time.

First reason people don’t forgive others is that somehow they equate that with the other person ‘winning’. The opposite is actually true. If you let the person continue to keep you in a state of hurt and anger, then that would be closer to ‘winning’. In actuality, the only winning is living a peaceful and rewarding life. That can only be accomplished through forgiveness. If someone is still renting space in your head or your heart, evict them!

The second reason people withhold forgiveness, is they assume forgiveness means they would have to reconnect with that person. This is certainly not true. There are people who sadly can be in our hearts, but not our life. If there is someone who has done you so wrong you want them neither in your heart or your life, than you must forgive them. By holding on to anger, or some feeling of hurt, you are maintaining a connection.

Forgive them today and set yourself free.

WHO IS YOURS? ðŸ¤”

Truly, one of the greatest feelings is knowing someone is happy because of you. I certainly do my best to keep the beautiful love of my life happy. Margie deserves all the wonderful things I can come up with just for putting up with this crazy author.

Yet, everywhere I go I do my best to make people happy. My day job, the coffee shop, my mechanic. When I succeed, it always gives my heart a jolt of joy. The more people I give joy to, the more joy fills my heart as well.

How about you? Who have you made happy today? Who could you make happy? Feel free to share your story in the comments below.

DO YOURSELF SOME GOOD! ðŸ˜ƒ

Today is Friday. We are arriving at the weekend. Everyone has put in a great amount of effort. We all deserve to do a little good for ourselves. How can we accomplish that? By doing good for others in our life. Why is this the best option? Far from giving you some fancy, new age or altruistic answer, let us look at this from a practical angle. There is a reason why doing good for others is the best way to improve our own lot in life. Let us take a look at those reasons now.

When we do good things for others, we give ourselves the good feelings knowing that we have made another’s life better. We also have made that person’s life better, which is certainly good. Here is the end result of doing this time and time again. When we spend our life helping others, each time we get a jolt of good feelings. Every time we help someone else, we add a little joy to their lives. When you do this, people will remember you and the kind acts you have done for them. Suddenly, you will find your life filled with people who have their hearts filled with love and respect for you because you have done good for them.

To recap, you will feel good yourself. You will make others feel good. You will find yourself surrounded by people who hold you in high esteem for being a good soul. All of this will be accomplished by one simple act of kindness. The more you do this, the more powerful it will become. In what ways will you do good for someone today?

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

We would love to learn more about all of our fans here at Secret2anamazinglife.com. We are followed by so many amazing souls in over 200 countries. We, of course, have many followers in the United States, but in every corner of the globe as well. From our thousands of followers in India and South Africa, to new comers like Gambia and Maldives. We want to know how you enjoy our site. When do you read it? What do you enjoy about it?

We also would love getting to know a little bit more about you. Where do you live? Why do you enjoy reading Secret2anamazinglife.com? Any other fun bits of information you would enjoy sharing with us. We wish to not only be a source of information, but a community as well. By getting to know those in the community, we can only improve on the quality of the content we bring to you. If you do enjoy the site you are reading, we would be honored if you would consider sharing it with your community. Whether that is telling your family and friends, printing it out and putting it up at the office like our friend in Lebanon does, or sharing the link on your social media. You will be part of a community looking to inspire and leave the world a better place than when we found it.

Please do the honor of sharing a little bit about who you are, where you are from and what you enjoy about this site. We would love to know when you enjoy reading Secret2anamazinglife.com. We would love to hear from all of you!

DO NOT TRY TO WIN AWARDS THAT DO NOT EXIST.

How many of us pursue these goals? The quest for perfection in any category is a fool’s endeavor. We should always pursue becoming the best version of ourselves. That doesn’t mean we will be perfect. In fact, when we make mistakes, that gives us the greatest opportunity to learn about life and about ourselves. Being able to set boundaries and say the occasional ‘no’ will keep us mentally and physically healthy to be able to bring our best when we do say ‘yes’.

When you are pursuing awards, think in terms of ones that speak of your character. How about the award for being a true friend? There should be an award for being a loving spouse. A helpful coworker is always appreciated as well. These are awards worth pursuing. At present, it is a shame that none of them exist either. Make sure whatever you are pursuing will lead to the best for you and for your life.