Tag: Friends

YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO BE AROUND THESE PEOPLE

Becoming the best version of ourselves is difficult. There is the task of finding the information, tools and strategies that will give us the best results. That is a uniquely personal experience. As with most things in life, what works for one person may not work for the next. Once we have that knowledge, we need both the motivation and self-discipline to put it into action or we may as well remain ignorant. Add to this the voice inside our heads reminding us of all our past failures and cautioning us against anything that will take us out of our comfort zone. Are you aware that roughly 80% of our self-talk is negative? That certainly makes our self-improvement journey a lot more difficult. I tell you this because I have worked through all of this.

Keeping all of this in mind, there is one thing we can ill-afford to do. That is to surround ourselves with people who view our growth as their competition. There are many reasons why people may think this way. Not all of them are malicious. Yes, there are those who do not want you to look better than them. This can be ego. It can be vanity. It can even be for economic or sociological gain. They may want to look better in front of the boss. They could want to look like the best in a social circle. The first rule in dealing with these people can be summed up in 2 words – let them. Trying to convince others of your importance is seldom a good use of time or energy. You would be better served putting that energy into actually making yourself better.

Not all of these folks operate out of malice. For some, your growth can be competition with their fragile ego or hidden insecurities. “If he makes more money, he will be too good to hang around with me anymore.” or “If she focuses on fitness, she will not want to date someone like me.” These folks view your growth as competition for their place in your life. Ideally, these people should use that insecurity as motivation to improve themselves. They should be celebrating any success of their friends. We all know that it does not always work this way.

You can offer reassurance and encouragement to some degree. If that doesn’t work, it may be time to limit your exposure to them. You face enough obstacles to becoming the best version of yourself. You do not need another one. You could always circle back to the relationship after you reach a certain level of growth, but chances are, you may not want to. Anyone who views your growth as their competition can derail your success where they do so with malice, with fear, with insecurity or any other reason. You cannot afford to let that happen. Surround yourself with people who both encourage you as well as celebrate with you.

YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU MAY NEED THEM

Life gets busy. We are working 40+ hours a week. Maybe pursuing a side hustle. Some of us are raising families. Add the stress of the world and current economy and you can see how time disappears without a trace.

One of the things that can get lost with time is effort to strengthen our relationships. Having in depth conversations with your spouse about the future. Pondering questions about life with friends. Taking time to listen to the dreams of your children and advice of your elders. These are not luxuries of life. They are requirements.

You never know when you will be required to have that depth of closeness that life requires. It could be traversing the depths of grief. Having someone to confide in. It could even be feeling comfortable enough to ask for toilet paper at your most vulnerable time. Take the time to foster and grow your relationships. You never know when you will need them!

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 29 – FRIENDS AND FAMILY

How can you pick just one friend or family member to be grateful for? It doesn’t say just one, so we will pick a few. Friends and family members add the color to our lives. Some friends become just like family. There are so many amazing people in my life. I am grateful for all of them and are going to work on expressing that better as the year goes on.

For the purpose of this blog, I am going to name a few. It is not a complete list by any stretch of the imagination. As we mentioned last post, I am grateful for my mother. We always have such fun times together. Whether we are going for a hike, working out at the gym or just going for coffee. It is always great conversation. I am grateful for my friends Dan, Jonathan and Nick. Speaking of great conversations, those gentleman always have great things to say. We solve the worlds problems over a cup of coffee! I am grateful for my soul friend Shannon. She not only imparts much amazing knowledge of the natural world, but is kind enough to even let me know when my favorite burger stand opens up! Grateful for all the friends of Margie and I who come to see us at our shows on Sunday. It creates such a warm and friendly atmosphere.

Lastly, I am grateful for Margie. She is not only my best friend, but after next October she will be family as well. She adds so much joy to my life it would take an entire post just to explain it all! How about you? What friend or family member are you grateful for? Once you start thinking about it, I am sure you will feel very grateful and lucky just like I do!

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 20 – WHO IS IT?

This is one of the big ones. Who are you grateful for in your life? In any gratitude practice I think this one is included. I am sure at some point in time we have thought about how grateful we are for certain people in our life. Here are two challenging ideas I hope you take action on. First, spend a focused few minutes and think of who you are grateful for. Write their names down. Next, ask yourself how you could express this feeling of gratitude? You could tell them in person, a phone call, an email or the good old greeting card. You could even post on their social media.

Great friends are certainly people to be grateful for. Above is a picture of people who used to come to a bar I worked at. Many are still good friends. I am grateful to have met them all. That is the fun thing about meeting people. Each person, in some way or another, brings something to your life to be grateful for. Even some of the worst people can leave you grateful for the example of what you do not want in your life and grateful for all of those who are not like them. Most people, however, give you something positive to be grateful for. It could be humor, being a great listener or a million other traits.

Family is another group of people to be grateful for. Above is a picture of my mother and I braving what turned out to be a terrible flood. We also had been enjoying the Wisconsin State Fair. Walking through the fair with my mother is one of my favorite things that I look forward to all year. We go on discovery walks and try many new foods and just have a lot of fun. Could not be more grateful for that if I tried.

To of course having someone that loves you even on your bad days. This woman has changed my life more than any other person I know. A year and a half from now I guess she will also be family! Having that rock of love is one of the most powerful things that you can have in your life. Sharing adventures as well as the daily grind together. It makes the sorrows less and multiplies the joy.

As you can see, there are so many people to be grateful for in your life. Really, each person offers you that little bit to be grateful for. We touched on it in the friendship paragraph, but you can think of anyone and everyone and gratitude could be given. The great employee who served you an iced coffee so you would have energy to write. (Thank you Anthony) The lady who checked you out at the market. The employee at the power company you may never meet, but who worked in dangerous conditions to keep your power on and the milk from spoiling. Speaking of milk, how about being grateful for the dairy farmer? How about being grateful for the cow?

There are an endless list of people you can be grateful for. I have shared just a few of mine and gave you some thoughts on more. How about you? Who are you grateful for in your life?

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 4 – FOOD!

Today’s post asks us what food we are grateful for! This could be an entire book for me. Not only am I going to marry a woman with an education in culinary arts, but we both love to try new and exciting foods both going out as well as creating recipes staying in. We eat both for enjoyment as well as doing our best to eat for health as well. Out of all of that, how can you pick what food you are most grateful for? It sure is a complicated question. After some thinking, I have a valid and true answer.

Above are just a few examples of some amazing dining experiences I have had. There was a picture of my lovely lady waiting for a meal on our second trip to Jamaica. There is also a conch salad we had in the Bahamas. It was very fresh and we watched the man prepare it on the spot for us. Margie, however, thought it was like attempting to eat a super ball. I must say she was not entirely incorrect in her assertation. The final picture was of a breakfast we shared while on vacation. As you can see, tasting new dishes in different places is just part of the fun of exploring the world with the woman I love.

This is a picture of a mouth-watering dish created by that same beautiful lady of mine. It was cod cooked in parchment paper with mushrooms and onions. It was seasoned with dill and other spices. It was amazing! It was fun to watch her put it all together and help what little I did. Trying to pick the favorite dish this woman created would be nearly impossible. Everything she makes is so delicious. That is also something to be grateful for. It is also why I must go to the gym several days a week. Portion control is something I am working very hard on.

You may be wondering which of these dishes is the one that I am most grateful for. It is both all of them and none of them. Confused? Let me explain. When thinking about some of the best food I have had the pleasure of enjoying, it is the company that makes all the difference. Whether it is the woman I am fortunate enough to share my life with, family or friends, great company makes the food taste better. Sure, there are times when even the best company can’t save a dish, but at least you will create a memory you all can laugh at later. My mother, my friend Nick and I just experienced such a thing this past weekend.

To sum it up, my favorite food would be any food you share with those you love. It not only adds amazing flavor, it is part of an amazing memory. How about you? Is there a specific dish that you are grateful for? Maybe a homemade dish that your grandmother used to make? A sinful dessert from your favorite place? What food are you most grateful for and why? Let us know in the comments.

YOU GOT THIS! 😀

This post has 2 parts. Both of which revolve around the fact that it is National Encouragement Day. Who encourages you? For me, it is my lady and her daughter with how hard they work in their bakery.  My mother and her commitment to staying healthy. My friend Shannon with her knowledge of, and passion for our friends in the plant kingdom. Our friend Kurt And his business ventures. Our friend Mary with her support of Margie and me. There are a million others. All of my friends inspire me in some fashion.

Here is the other half of the equation. How do you encourage yourself? It in a world that can be unexpectedly cruel at times, we need to have sources of encouragement we can lean on. Sometimes those in our life we rely to encourage us might be having a bad day, or just be busy with life.

Personally, I have a playlist of songs that encourage me. All I do is push play and I’m on my way. I have a daily inspiration  calendar. I have a few apps that contain inspirational messages.

How about you? Who encourages you? How do you encourage yourself?

BEST SERVED IN GOOD COMPANY 👍

This is a picture from a little Italian grocery store I visited while taking my aunt out to her old neighborhood. I love the suggestion on the bottom. “Best served in good company”. How many things should have this suggestion? Good company makes everything better.

On this evening, I was accompanied by not only my aunt, but my mother and Margie as well. We ate at my aunt’s favorite Chinese restaurant, shopped at this grocery store and relaxed at an independent coffee shop. All that would be a great night for me, but doing it with those you love make it even more amazing.

How about you? Have there been things you have done that are ‘best served in good company?’ What other products do you think should have this suggestion printed on them? My suggestion would be coffee. Sharing a good cup of coffee with a friend makes it taste that much better. What is your suggestion?

MAYBE THAT IS HEAVEN 👼

Fred Rogers is one of my favorite sources of inspiration. Many of you know that already. I have never heard this quote before, but it only serves as an example of why I enjoy the man’s ideas so much. Think of all the people you have met that have made a difference in your life. This even holds true for people you have reconnected with after a long time. They can add so much joy into your life and help you grow and discover new things about yourself you have never known.

Margie and I DJ every Sunday. It is not my favorite thing to do as I am not really a bar person and work early Monday morning. However, we have met and became friends with some wonderful people. There are great couples like Ron and Deb, Montell and Tanya, Rise and Ron and Chris and Nicci. This is but a mere sample of them. We have become good friends with the bartender Kelly. There is an older gentle who goes by Melvis that always puts a smile on our faces. Our friend Sara is so generous with her kindness and help we always appreciate her. So many people that do sweet things for us and with us that if I mentioned them all it would take several posts.

This is just one example of an area in which we have made lasting connections. In my day job working for the Postal Service, I have made wonderful connections at each location I have worked at. Some of which we still gather with on federal holidays for lunch. I have friends from childhood. My friend Matt I have known since we were 7. A few years back, I reconnected with my friend Kevin who I have been friends with since we were both 4! Even Jenny, my friend who cuts my hair, I have been friends with for over 3 decades. Each one of these people has made my life a blessing and helped me discover some new and wonderful things about myself.

There are the unexpected connections that can have the greatest impact. While I was working as a bartender I was connected with this amazing lady. Not only have we been blissfully in love for 10 years, but we are going to get married in the hopefully not too distant future. You never know when a connection will transform your life and send it in a completely different direction. Be grateful for all of your connections. If treated and fostered correctly, they are what make life feel like heaven.

WANT SUCCESS? KEEP IT SIMPLE 💯

This post was inspired during the amazing dinner that Margie and my mother put together to help celebrate 1000 blogs on this site. Our good friend, Ron Perez, looked around the table and told me something that in its simplicity, was yet profound. He said, “Neil, all you need is good friends and good food.” He was right. I could not have been happier than I was that night. No amount of fame or fortune could have done it. No amount of monetary reward. People often trip over some of the greatest treasure on their way to look for it.

Having a good group of friends and being able to share some good food, is something far too many of us in the world are not able to do. In fact, having a strong social circle and good friends is one of the most determining factors in longevity. This according to the Blue Zone book that examined the lives of the longest living people and what they had in common. Mr. Perez’s statement was quite the wise one and backed up by science.

Many folks spend a great deal of their time and energy investing in obtaining wealth and prestige. If you were to obtain such things and sacrifice your relationships to do so, you would still be poor. Something about friends – money cannot buy true ones. It is something that has to be fostered and grown with time. It takes trust, honesty, love, compassion and many other things that money or fame could not buy. On the opposite end of the spectrum, if you lack money but still have a great deal of true friends, you are wealthier than you can imagine. Not only are they able to help you, be that financial or connecting you to opportunities, but they will encourage and support you emotionally.

I am still reeling from the outpouring of love that I received at that surprise dinner the other night. That made me feel like the wealthiest person in the world! By our definition, I believe that I am. In your life, keep it simple. Invest in the things that truly matter. Take care of those who take care of you. Spend your time and money building friendships and helping others. The payout will be far better than any winning lottery ticket you could come across. To me, my friends and family are the greatest treasure.

DO YOU WANT TO STAND OUT? 😮

Do you want to stand out in your relationships? Do you want to be the one that makes those in your life smile? I think we all do. In order to stand out from everyone else, you have to do something different from everyone else. That makes sense doesn’t it? This doesn’t have to be dramatic or expensive to have a powerful impact. I’m going to show you how to become a significant player in the life of those you care about while making them feel amazing. Better yet, I’ll show you how to do this for $2 in just a few minutes. Are you on board?

Today is national “send a friend a greeting card day” Yes, I didn’t know it existed either. “Neil, nobody sends greeting cards anymore!” That is exactly the point! By taking a few minutes to write down some encouraging or inspiring thoughts in a greeting card and making it to a friend, you stand out. How would you feel checking the mail and finding a card from a friend telling you how awesome you are and how grateful they are for you? Pretty good, I would imagine.

It doesn’t have to even be a fancy expensive greeting card. They sell cards at the dollar store. It is the thoughts behind it and the uniqueness of the action. Imagine doing this for one friend a month,or even one friend a week! Think of how much your relationships could improve with the simple power of a greeting card?

A little rusty on writing out greeting cards? Do you want some practice? Our address here at Secret2anamazinglife.com can be found below.

P.O. BOX 333

Oak Creek WI 53154 USA