In this blog we explore many ways in which to have an amazing life. A lot of that focus tends to fall on how to have an amazing relationship. After all, relationships, more than anything else, have a great impact on our lives. Let us be honest, if our relationships are less than amazing, it will be difficult, if not impossible, for our lives to be amazing. That is why I recommend relationship building as a life-long study regardless of the field you are in.
Even in the best relationships things can go south. Despite our best efforts, despite all of our best intentions and study, things often zig when they should have zagged. It happens. When we find ourselves in a state that seems to be less then amorous with our partners it can be easy to stray from the things we know we should do. The ironic part is that is when it is most important.
One of the things I always do for Margie is open her car door. To me it is a sign of respect. It is a little thing I can do to show her how much I value and treasure the lady she is. Another thing we do for each other is kiss each other at red lights. This does two very important things. First, it places a loving action in what is generally a mundane and occasionally stressful activity. Second, it turns red lights from something to dread, to something to look forward to.
When things in the relationship are running on less than ideal terms certain thoughts come to mind. I am reminded she is physically capable of opening her own door and how nice it would be to get into the car and relax myself. There are times when I could look straight ahead and focus on the waiting for the red light to change instead of leaning over to kiss her. It is these times, however, when it is most important to do these actions.
This is why. When I open the door for her even when we are not seeing eye to eye, it shows her that even though I may not be happy with the situation, I still respect and honor her as my lady. When I lean over to kiss her at a red light on a night we might not be on the best of speaking terms it says, “Even though we not be liking each other a lot right now, I still love you.” It is vitally important to maintain little actions that show respect and love in times of discord. Quite often these can soften the hardest of hearts, even if that one is your own at times.
Here is a great side-effect that arises from maintaining these loving actions. At the end of the day you can look back and know that despite circumstances, you were the best version of yourself. You can also be confident that you did what was right for your relationship. It would be easy, and even excusable, to forgo certain loving actions when you are angry. What it will not do is give you an amazing relationship. That, as we discussed earlier, will make it very difficult to have an amazing life.
2 thoughts on “ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S HARD”
Love this .
Rick and I just expressed the importance to be together but also have time for self . This giving is part of our doing for each other . Little , big things . Makes no difference . It’s appreciated.
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I love it. Lets take a look at this at a compound level. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you mentioned. It is extremely difficult to come down during a passionate argument or fight about something. Why is it difficult? Certain chemicals in the body are released and the body is pumping full of it. Breathing exercises and meditation can help and really it comes down to time and tricking your body to realize, “hey this is not a survival or fight or flight situation anymore.”
What is the best to immediately relieve your body of these…..let’s call them toxins? Oxytocin is great. Hugs, kisses, holding hands. All of these release delicious amorous oxytocin. If you hand someone a beautiful baby or a cute widdle puppers, is their body still going to think that it must protect itself? No! Your body is screaming, “BAAABYYY!!! or PUPPPY!!! Love defeats all. Kiss often! Embrace those love chemicals and you’ll find that the ugliest of arguments don’t mean shit compared to the power of love.
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