Tag: Motivation

WHAT OPRAH CAN TEACH US ABOUT OURSELVES 🤔

Few people are as globally recognized as Oprah Winfrey. In fact, she is one of those people who are instantly recognized by her first name alone. Many people know the famous side of Oprah. Her role as not only a talk show host, but producer, actress, author and media business woman. She was not only the wealthiest African American of the 20th century, but once the world’s only black billionaire. These items alone can inspire people to action. A “If she can do it, so can we.” sort of cheer. We are going to break down how many different people Oprah inspired and close with learning something very important about ourselves.

Many of us know the successful Oprah Winfrey, but how many of us know what she overcame to get there? I want to take just a little time to share some of the struggles she faced, how it can inspire us, and what it can teach us about our own story. Oprah was born on January 29th 1954 in rural Mississippi. This was not only a time of great challenge in our country for people of color, but that was amplified in the deep south. Her unwed, teenage mother soon moved north and left her in the care of her grandmother. This proves people can overcome societal prejudice and lack of the influence of a biological parent to become successful.

Oprah’s grandmother, Hattie Mae, was extremely poor. So poor, that at a young age, Oprah had to wear old potato sacks as clothing. Many of us find it hard to picture the fashionable Ms. Winfrey dressed in a potato sack, but that is how she began. The other children mocked her for her clothes. Her grandmother was also a strict disciplinarian, often whipping young Oprah. She was also told there was no room inside the house for her to sleep. She made her bed on an outside enclosed porch. This is proof that you can overcome extreme poverty, and being ostracized at a young age and still make a great life for yourself.

At the age of 6, her grandmother became ill and she was sent to live with her mother in Milwaukee. Her mother worked as a maid and did not have the energy to raise young Oprah. At the age of 8 she was sent to live with her father in Tennessee. Her third home in her very young life. While she was there she was sexually abused by family members, as well as a family friend. Things got so bad, she ran away from home at the age of 13. At the age of 14, she became pregnant. Her son was born prematurely and died only a few days later. This means that moving around from state to state and parent to parent does not prevent you from realizing your full potential. Suffering a terrible childhood trauma like sexual abuse by a family member does not make you less than. Oprah later used that to let others know she had suffered the same fate they had and was able to overcome. Not only having a child at a young age, but then having that child pass away could be enough to break anybody. Oprah is proof that you can draw strength from a challenge like that.

By the age of 17, Oprah was in a far better place. Not only winning the Miss Black Tennessee beauty pageant, but landing a job at a local black radio station doing the news part-time. Considering what she had come from, this would be a success for most people. Ms. Winfrey was not done, however. She also won an oratory contest. This secured a full scholarship to Tennessee State University. She went on to study communications.

After television work in both Baltimore and Tennessee, Oprah found herself in Chicago. There are many good stories I am leaving out for the sake of brevity, I would invite you to investigate these on your own. Given a spot on a sinking ship of a show called AM Chicago, her passion and performance turned it into the station’s number 1 and flagship program. Soon, it was renamed The Oprah Winfrey Show and syndicated nationally, continuing her meteoric rise to fame. There is a story I would like to mention here as well. When the show was syndicated, Oprah rightfully received substantial financial compensation. Her staff, which was largely female, did not. Upon discovering this, Oprah went into the offices of management and demanded her staff receive the benefits of the financial windfall as well. Using her voice to be a voice for others.

Imagine being a young woman raised in the racist atmosphere of the times. Being brought up in terrible poverty. Moving at the young age of six to a mother who had no desire, or energy to raise you, and starting a new life. Only to have to move again a few years later to a father you have not known to this point in an entirely different state. Once there, suffering sexual abuse at the hands of those who are supposed to protect you. Running away from home at the age of 13, only to become pregnant and eventually lose a child only a year later. At the age of 14, Oprah had experienced many conditions that would cause the average person to give up.

Despite all that she had faced in the first decade and a half of her life, today she is hugely successful. She not only had the highest ranked talk show for 25 years, but has her own network, her own XM radio station, her own magazine, has built a school for under-privileged girls in South Africa, and even received an Academy Award nomination for her role in the movie A Color Purple. That means she gives hope to not only African Americans and women, but to those facing discrimination, those raised in poverty, those suffering sexual abuse, and even those who have lost a child. As impressive of a list as this is, there is one more group that Oprah inspires that I feel touches the people who read Secret2anamazinglife.

When Oprah was covering the news, she would often be overcome with emotion at the stories she was reporting on. This caused her to do such things as break into tears when reporting about a family who had lost their home in a fire. As you can imagine, the powers that be did not find this a redeeming quality. She was informed this ‘character flaw’ made her unfit to be a reporter and so she was relegated to doing a talk show. I think we can all agree she made the most of that opportunity. What this shows me is that when someone tells you that your gift is a character flaw, you can use that gift to serve and help others in a very meaningful way. It also shows us that being empathetic to others and their suffering is a gift that is greatly needed in the world today.

Lastly, I want to bring to your attention what this all means for our own life. We all have stories. We all have faced challenges. Most of us, not to the degree that Ms. Winfrey has. Some of us have faced even worse. I highlight a few of these cases in my book Living the Dream. Oprah shows us that we do not have to remain victims to what has happened to us, but we can overcome life’s challenges and use them to serve others. The greater the challenges we face, the more challenges we face, the better we are set up to inspire and serve others. Think about your own life and what you have faced. How could you use that to serve others? With that thought in mind, I would love to leave you with this great quote from Martin Luther King Jr.

AN AMAZING LIFE THROUGH A CHILDHOOD GAME? 🎲

Sometimes you never realize how much you learn from your childhood until much later. Take for example this torture device disguised as a game for children. If you have never had this game, let me enlighten you as to its finer points. You would have objects of different shapes, as you see in the yellow things above. You pushed down the blue game board and started the timer. This also began a loud ticking noise as the seconds wound down. The object of the game was to get all of the pieces in their proper place before the timer ran out. If you didn’t? then the game board would pop up, sending all of the pieces flying in a million directions.

As you can imagine, this was great for the nerves of a young person. As the time grew nearer, you frantically raced to put all the pieces in their place. The closer the game came to tossing all of your pieces in the air, the more nervous and frantic you became. Here is what I learned. The more frantic you became, the less likely you were to be able to rationally think about where the game pieces should go. In fact, the calmer you were, the more likely you were to complete the task before the board popped up. Remaining calm in a high-pressure situation is hard to do for people ages 5 and up. This lesson was taught with another cruel torture device from my childhood and maybe yours.

This is another device that turned children into shaking, nervous, nerve-fried versions of themselves. It was cleverly disguised as a game as well. It was called operation. The basics of this game were that you had to use a wired metal probe to carefully remove objects from this anatomically-challenged individual, without touching the sides of the cavity. If you were unable to do this successfully, you would hear a loud buzz and his nose would light up. Try keeping a steady hand while doing that. Once again, the calmer you were when attempting your operation the more likely you were to be successful. Considering the vast amount of coffee I currently consume, this may not be the game for me at this stage of my life.

What both of these games taught me, was the calmer you approach a situation, the more likely you are to be successful. Think of what you are like when facing a high-pressure situation. Are you scrabbling around to “put all your pieces back in the game board” or are you calmly focused on completing the task in the allotted time? When facing a situation with little room for error, are you shaking as you try to “complete your operation” or are you staying calm and focused? These games can serve as a good reminder of both.

As a bonus, Perfection also reminds us of something else. The time is ticking away for all of us. Unlike the game, we cannot see how much time is left. What is guaranteed is that it is less than when you started reading this sentence. Soon, the timer will stop and send all of our pieces flying. Some of us will take this information and run around like mad trying to do as much with the short time we are here. I had the unusual occurrence of having this happen with my open-heart surgery, which I chronicle in my book The Beat Goes On. I discovered that it is best to proceed with a calm sense of urgency to complete as many meaningful tasks as you can in life. These should include telling the people you care most about how much you love them and leaving a legacy for those to come after you. I would love to know what childhood games taught you lessons and what they were.

STOP THE DANGER 🛑🚦

This idea was given to me by the love of my life. When we returned from an amazing weekend away we encountered and passed by several accidents. I am very grateful we were not involved in any of them. When you think of serious accidents on the road, usually drunk driving comes to mind. Rightfully so. In the country I live in, every day 37 people are killed in drunk-driving crashes. That is roughly one person every 39 minutes. That is inexcusable. With the advent of Uber and Lyft, there are so many options to use that there is no reason to get behind the wheel when you are impared.

Here is the scary part, according to another survey that is not even the greatest threat. 56% of fatal crashes stem from reckless driving. I get it, you are waiting for an important call or text. Maybe you had to leave the house before you could get your make up perfect. You don’t want to show up looking like you just got out of bed. Do you know what is worse? Not showing up at all. I tell Margie all of the time, “Better late than not at all.” If you feel you must do whatever it is that is pulling your attention away from the road, do yourself a favor and pull yourself away from the road. Can you imagine causing several thousand dollars worth of damage physical injury just to put on your lipstick? Sounds silly if we word it that way. To me, this is still not the worst thing to do while driving.

In reckless driving, you are trying to do too much. What is worse is “aggressive driving”. These are people who are full of rage. Their gas tank may be full, but their patience is usually on empty. We saw lots of these on our journey home. One man decided for himself that the red light we were all waiting on was too long for him and just went through. Another fellow drove with two wheels on the sidewalk at roughly 15 miles over the limit just to get around traffic. Ironically, we both got to the red light at the same time. I hear many people in the news arrested for such activities claiming their actions do not hurt anyone.

Let us look at the numbers for reckless and aggressive driving. According to Bankrate, speeding – a form of aggressive driving – was responsible for 11,258 deaths. Those numbers are from 2021, they have only increased since then. Road rage, when people get angry at other drivers, was responsible for 12,610 injuries and 218 murders. Can you believe that it is rational in someone’s mind to murder another person because you do not like their driving? As they are being sentenced to give up several years of their life behind bars, what will their reason be? He cut me off? Ridiculous.

Take steps to avoid being a reckless or aggressive driver. Wait to check your social media, or pull over to do so. If having your make up just so means that much to you, be ready to sacrifice your punctuality. Either that, or begin getting ready sooner. If you suffer from road rage, try a quick meditation, such as paying attention to your breath, before starting out. Please, save all the stunt driving for your video games. It is not worth your life, or worse someone else’s. This shouldn’t be any surprise, but never get behind the wheel if you are under the influence of any chemical.

All you need to do is view the pain caused to families who have been ripped apart by a person who took too many risks behind the wheel. If you are putting other people’s lives at risk, remember someone may be doing the same to yours. Only by acting together can we eliminate this entirely preventable tragedy.

AND IN THIS CORNER…🥊

I always enjoyed the beginning of a boxing match when the Master of Ceremonies introduces the fighters. “And in this corner….” It has such a feel of pomp and circumstance. Wouldn’t it be fun to be introduced like that everywhere you go? Imagine walking into work and you hear over the intercom, “Now entering the office…number one in sales…it is Jane!” This example only works if your name is Jane, but I think you can get the idea. This sounds great until you hear the next line, “Weighing in at….” Not many of us would want our weight broadcast to every room we enter.

Today marks the end of a four-week journey of health and fitness that Margie and I were on. It came from a local gym called Peak Physique. The owner was named ‘Trainer of the Year’ in our city. He is also a good friend. It included a meal plan and fitness classes. This will be our second time we took part. The difference between the two experiences was night and day. The first time, we followed everything by the book. We were focused on the result. We wanted to lose some weight and win the challenge. It felt like we were constantly in the kitchen or grocery store shopping for ingredients. In short, it felt like a sacrafice.

Fast forward to four weeks ago. We came into this challenge better prepared and informed. We also brought something more important with us – a better attitude. We gave ourselves a little more freedom with the menu. We stuck to the dishes recommended, but did the ones we learned that we liked from the previous time. Our focus was not on ‘winning a challenge’ or even so much on ‘losing a certain amount of weight, but more so on becoming more healthy. Instead of sacrifice, it felt like an adventure. Were there times it was a challenge to bring our sore bodies to workout? Sure. When that happened, we focused not on winning a challenge, but on how much healthier our bodies were becoming. We were falling in love with the process.

The truth is that we already feel like winners before we even get on the scale. Taking control of your health and what you put in your body can be a challenge, but like we discussed with emotions, if you eat solely for pleasure, you are constantly chasing that ‘high’. Not only will it take more of the food, but sweeter and more decadent food to achiever the same amount of pleasure. Then, the food controls you. In your head you know that it is making you unhealthy, but you are at the mercy of your emotions and your cravings, you become a slave. When you learn to eat to fuel your body, your strength, your health and your immune system, you take back control. You use food and not the other way around.

This is a very difficult struggle for many. It is okay to indulge on occasion. Just make that the exception and not the rule. Once you begin to turn it around, you will be amazed at the positive changes taking place in your life. Tony Robbins once said, “Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels.” Eating that sugar and deep-fried food may sound fun and pleasurable, but at what cost? A body full of inflammation and sickness? Is that worth it? Becoming healthy is a process. You must be patient with yourself and your body. Those cravings will stick with you. After all, they have had their way for years. Everyday you get a little bit stronger. Everyday you get a little healthier. Be proud of yourself for every accomplishment you experience on your journey toward a healthier you. If you want guaranteed success, do what Margie and I did – fall in love with the process.

THIS IS WHERE THE POWER IS 🔋

Here is one of the secrets to an amazing life. This may seem like an obvious conclusion, and for the most part it is. Here is the tricky bit, try remembering it in an emotionally charged situation. Reacting, as easy as it is to do, makes you a slave to outside circumstances. They control your emotional state, they control you. This is true whether that is a rude driver or a flat tire. Mindful acting, as difficult as it can be, puts you back in control.

Would you like to control your life, or would you like others to? Again, that sounds like a foolish question, but one that could serve you when you are tempted to react. Here is another thing that reacting to outside circumstances steals from you, in addition to control, it steals a feeling of security. If your emotional state is determined by things outside of your control, you will never be certain how you will feel. Can you imagine trying to plan anything not knowing what kind of mood you will be in? This can be demonstrated at work the day before you leave for vacation. Nothing seems to bother you. Boss upset? It is alright old chap. Project you were working on fell apart? That is a problem for another day. You walk through life unfazed! What if I told you that you could go through life this way? It is true. Unless you are my boss reading this, in which case I do need to go on more vacations to demonstrate.

Gaining control over your emotional state not only provides you a feeling of security, it also helps add a great deal of inner peace. Knowing that you are not going to let outside circumstances influence your emotional well-being gives us a sense of calm and inner peace that those who react will never have. I have been on both sides, trust me on this one. You decide how you want to feel. Look at outside obstacles for what they are, challenges to test and strengthen your resolve. With each test, you will gain greater control over your emotions and gain a greater sense of inner peace and security. Try it this weekend!

ARE YOU BUYING OR SELLING? 💰

Ben Franklin said many interesting things in his lifetime. I think this might be one of the best. In today’s world, a lot of people are addicted to material bliss. You see packages from Amazon on their doorstep daily. They have to purchase the latest model of cell phone whenever one comes out. When we tie our happiness to the accumulation of material possessions, we cease to own them and they begin to own us.

This is not an anti-material post. I am not advocating selling all of your possessions and donating the money to a worthwhile cause. I like to purchase items here and there as well. The problem comes when we derive our main source of pleasure from accumulating material possessions. Ask yourself, is that me? It is good to purchase nice things for you and your family, but there is something better.

Another great quote! I love the first line, “You’ll never see a U-Haul behind a hearse…” If we spend our lives focused on obtaining material objects to the detriment of everything else, where will that leave us? Think of when you were a kid and had to have that new toy. When you finally got it, you were so excited. It was the best day ever. What happened two months later? It just became another object. You moved on to want the next greatest toy. In essence, your money, or in this case your parents, did not buy a toy, it bought two months of happiness. There is a better way to use your capital than always chasing the latest and greatest new thing, be that electronic gadget, fashion or social status.

To demonstrate what I am saying, let me refer to the pictures above. On top is Margie and I at the Wisconsin State Fair, one of my favorite places. I have purchased many things there. Can’t think of one off the top of my head. I can remember lots of silly times with my love. Then there is a picture of me, my uncle and my sister at a reenactment. Do you know what we bought there? Me neither. Do remember lots of interesting things I learned. Then there is Margie and I at an October Fest. I obviously purchased a large container of beer. Can’t tell you what kind, or even if I liked it. I am more of a rum guy. What I do remember is having fun and discovering new food and drink together. Lastly, there is a picture of Margie and my mother making bracelets. I can’t remember much about the bracelets. I do remember they were made on a soup crawl through the city we live in. It was in the middle of winter and very cold, but we all had fun.

Referring back to the Quote from Denzel Washington, look at the last line. “It’s not how much you have but what you do with what you have.” As you can see by the examples above, spending money to create memories goes a lot further than a material item. In fact, material items can become a burden. You have to find a place for them. You have to clean them. The more things you have, the more you have to put away and clean. When the fateful day comes that you must leave this world, think of what will become of the stuff you leave behind? In short, it becomes someone else’s burden.

Do not sell yourself to pleasure. Find that pleasure in the smile of the one you love. Find that joy in a beautiful sunny day. Feel the refreshing drops of rain. Create beautiful memories to leave with your children instead of the latest gadget.

GOOGLE TAUGHT ME A VALUABLE LESSON 📱

Every so often, I search myself on Google. This is not some exercise in vanity, or to serve my ego. As an author, I like to make sure that the information and links are correct. Go ahead and Google “Neil Panosian” yourself. You will discover many new and fun ways to connect with this author.

In doing so last night, I learned something that taught me 2 very important things. They came one right after another. I learned that an interview that I had done was picked up by a local Fox News affiliate in New York. That means I was able to reach and hopefully inspire people in a new region. I was keenly unaware this even happened.

That is where the second lesson came to mind. This one was even more important. It made me realize the parallel between this interview and life in general. All too often, we feel we are not having the impact, or doing as much good, as we would like to. Much like this interview, the good we do can often travel farther than we ever realize.

Unfortunately, there is no Google to see how much we have impacted the lives of others. What this story does remind us of, is that we may never know how far our influence may reach. Let’s make sure it is a good one and know that we make more of a difference than we can ever know.

CLICK HERE TO READ THE INTERVIEW I GAVE THAT WAS PICKED UP IN THIS GREAT STORY IN NEW YORK

WORK ON YOUR SUPER POWER TODAY!🦸‍♂️🦸‍♀️

Do you ever find yourself getting discouraged at the state of the world today? I think we all can. With the wars, civil unrest, violence and general discord we see and hear about, it can be a bit difficult to remain positive. Yet, the more negative the world becomes, the easier it is for us to make a difference. Traits like love, kindness, compassion and encouragement become more special the less they appear. Some days, using them at all makes you a super power. Sharing a smile with a stranger is not only unexpected these days, it is shocking to many. A kind and encouraging word to someone working in a busy retail environment? Nothing short of a miracle!

You may be asking yourself how much of a difference you are really making. That is understandable. If we are putting forth effort to make everyone’s day a little brighter and we seem to be outnumbered by those who are determined to complain and bring everyone down, it can seem like we are not making a difference at all. The opposite is true. To illustrate how powerful being kind and loving to the world can be, please allow me to use an analogy. If you think of all the positivity you attempt to bring to the world as light, which is pretty close to accurate, this example will ring true with you. If you are in a bright room, or it is the middle of the day, and you turn on a lamp, how much of an impact does it have? Not much generally. Sometimes, you can’t even tell you turned a light on. Now, imagine being trapped in a cave, unless of course you are Closter phobic, then a dark bedroom would do. What happens if you even turn on a flashlight in that situation? It transforms the entire room! That is how kindness and compassion work in a negative world.

Next time you feel like your kindness is not making a difference, think of this example. When you feel like the world is becoming a very dark place, know that being a light will make an even greater impact. Here is one more thing to consider. How many dark rooms do you encounter? Meaning, how many negative environments do you find yourself in? It could be the gossip at work. It could be the stress of a busy retail location. How about a stressful situation at home? The darker the room, the greater impact your light will have. Kindness, love, compassion and encouragement are not only powerful, they are super powers! Develop yours today!

MAKE IT A PRIORITY THIS WEEKEND 😊

It is the weekend and we deserve to relax. However, we also deserve to live a life where our dreams are accomplished. One way to make this happen is to realize that what we do is based on what we find important. Perhaps you are thinking that after working all week, you need your rest this weekend. Maybe your weekend is filled with plans with family and friends? Then getting up early could be the answer for reaching your goals. I can hear the responses now. “Get up early?” “On the weekend?” Most people say they are not morning people. If spending an hour a day could help you write that book you have always wanted to do, would you do it? What about starting that new business you dreamed of? If it is important to you, waking up early is not that difficult. If I were to tell you that you could have 5 million dollars if you met me at a coffee shop at 6am, where would you be at 5:59? Why? Because 5 million dollars would change your life.

What works even better is if you do take the weekends off. Schedule your hour first thing in the morning. That way everyone is still sleeping. You can make yourself a nice cup of coffee and focus on your goals. You might think it would not be worth it to wake up a whole hour before you actually have to. Let me give you some numbers. If you work one hour a day on your dreams and goals. If you only do it during the week and take the weekends off, how much time is that? That would be 260 extra hours a year. That is 32 and a half 8 hour days, or over 4 and a half working weeks dedicated to achieving whatever goal you are pursuing. How much further do you think you could get with that extra time?

I usually write for an hour after work as I already wake up at 4am. That still gives me the time we mentioned. In addition to the 55 hours I work at my day job, I have managed to write 2 books in the last year. I have also delivered blogs for the last 330 days straight. All from an hour a day. Try dedicating a focused hour of your day, only 5 days a week to your goals and see what happens. Do this for a month straight and see how much you can accomplish. You will be amazed!

SECRET TO MORE HAPPINESS 😊

It is Friday. Wouldn’t it be nice to just be able to relax a little after a week of work? That is exactly what this post is not only about, but advising! The quote from Nathaniel Hawthorne above says it best. When you chase happiness, it always remains just beyond your grasp. Do you know why that is? It is because happiness is an inside job! When you chase happiness is some thing, or every someone, there are many times when you will end up disappointed. You are putting the key to your happiness in their pocket. Sometimes, they are too busy to take that key out of there pocket.

When you sit down in a calm and focused manner, happiness, much like the butterfly, will find you. This is shown in pictures of one on my mom’s shoulder and in the hair of my beautiful lady. The key is being calm and focused. What should you be focused on? What you can be happy about in the moment. It is easiest to try this on a good, or even neutral day. Another way of looking at this, is what you could be grateful or thankful for. Try this right now. You could feel joy that you have access to the internet on which to read this. The internet not only allows you to read this inspiring blog, but material on every other subject you choose. Think about this. You have access to more information that even the greatest leaders in the world had only 50 years ago. You can be grateful you have health, to whatever degree you do.

This works great to give ourselves a lift to brighten our day. This works good when things are going well, or even neutral, as we mentioned earlier. It can work even better when we are having a tough day. If you have practice doing this on the good days, which I cannot urge enough to do, then it will make it easier when times are tough. Just had a tough day at work? Be grateful you have a job. Furnace went out at home? You have a place to live. You got a flat tire? Well, you get the idea. Every bad situation could always be worse. Even losing someone we love, which to me is probably the worst situation to have happen, leaves us grateful for having love for that person while they were in our life. Many people live a life devoid of any real connection. It may be cliché, but it is indeed better to have lost in love, than never to have loved at all.

Begin today to make a habit of sitting down and noticing what you can be happy for in your life. It only takes roughly 5 minutes of your time, but can transform your whole day. Not to mention, it puts control of your personal joy and inner peace right where in belongs – with you! I would love to hear what practices you have for developing a feeling of joy and gratitude and what you are thankful and happy for today.