Here is a real-life situation that I wanted to share because it affects a lot of us. Your situation may not be exactly the same, but I bet you can relate in some form or fashion. A gentleman at work asked if he could run something by me that he was dealing with. Always happy to help a friend I quickly said “Yes.” He told me his brother discovered his wife had been cheating on him, was planning to leave him. That of course made him feel worthless and in this case he was thinking of all kinds of unpleasant ways of dealing with the situation.
This friend was very concerned for his brother and could relate. He said that he had tried talking to his brother, but feeling as he did, his brother did not want to talk to anyone. In a desperate situation, he asked me what I would do. Here was my best advice. I asked what his brother was good at. He told me his brother was an expert on music trivia. I told him to tell his brother he had a music question and he knew he was exactly the person who could help him with it. This would do several things for his brother. First, it would help him realize that he did have skills and value. Sure, music trivia may seem insignificant, but when you are feeling useless, anything helps. Second, it will give his brother an opportunity to help someone. This will give a feeling of purpose and value as well. In addition, by giving help, he may feel a little more comfortable asking for help. It would help ‘balance the scales’ if you will. In thanking his brother for the help, it would also give his brother a sense of accomplishment. Letting him know that he did do something good for someone.
What would you have done in this situation? Have you ever found yourself in the same situation as my coworker, or maybe even as his brother? It is so important to know that we all have value. It may not be in the area we are currently wanting it to be, but we are very valuable just the same. The world would be a lot darker without us in it. When we are feeling down, we need to be reminded of all the good we can do. It may be as simple as helping others. Regaining that feeling of value and accomplishment.
On another note, this is why it is so important to remind all of the people in our lives of their value and importance. You never know when they will be hit by something that seems stronger than them. Everyone needs to be reminded of their strength. Think of someone you can do this for today. Do not wait until someone is hurting to remind them how special they are.
