Tag: suicide prevention

THE 1 EMOTION THAT CAN SAVE YOUR LIFE

This is a picture of the amazing coffee that I enjoyed with my good friend Nick the other day. Every time we get together, the discussion is always so productive. We encourage each other to ask ourselves the tough questions. We bring new points of view and different experiences to consider. In addition, Nick holds me accountable in many of my projects. That is the benefit of having a friend like him.

This afternoon we found ourselves on the subject of people overcoming great adversity in their lives to go on to both accomplish great things as well as inspire others to do so. He shared a story of a young lady who was a 16 year-old theater student. While preparing for a role in a production, she fell through a door in the stage and become paralyzed from the neck down. As a young person just beginning their life, this had to be devastating. She confessed to crying herself to sleep on many nights. Over the decades that followed, and with intense therapy, she managed to regain use of 4 of her fingers. This may not sound like much, but it allowed her to operate a motorized wheel chair. This gave her a greater deal of autonomy and motivation to continue to push on. Thirty years after her accident, she appeared on stage and sang a song from the production she had been training for on that fateful day when she was sixteen. Something the doctors had told her would never be possible.

For those of you who follow this blog, you know I am a big fan of Inky Johnson. He is a gentleman who trained to be a professional football player since the age of 7. His junior year in college he was told he would be a top pick in the NFL making him an instant multi-millionaire. He called his family who were all living in great poverty and told them the great news. Two games later he suffered an injury that left his left arm paralyzed. This ended any hope of a professional sports career. He is now a prolific speaker sharing his story to inspire others. Again, after much therapy and countless sleepless nights.

My question to Nick, and to myself really, was what was it that makes these individuals able to overcome the challenges they face while so many of us go back to bed if we stub our toe getting out of bed? What is that mindset that allows you to push on long after others would have quit? It is the ability to be resilient. The definition of that word skillfully placed above this paragraph. What allows someone to be resilient and how can we develop more of it? Inky Johnson would credit his faith as a major reason for being able to keep going. That may be a part of it, but those without a spiritual belief have also demonstrated this ability. What allows a person to have the fortitude to make it through sleepless nights, through tears and heartache?

The reason this question kept bouncing around my brain is because pain, loss, and heartache are things all of us will go through at some point. The desire to quit is also something we will all face. That can be the desire to quit a job because you do not like your boss. The desire to quit on your marriage because you and your spouse cannot seem to get along. Giving up on your health journey because you are tired of waking up sore and eating chicken breast. To, of course, giving up on life itself. Being the person that I am, and the mission I have for my life, it is my goal to help people persevere more. Too many of my friends have given up on too many aspects of their life, and sadly some on life itself. That bothers me so greatly it has motivated me to do all that I can to bring as much love and light to the world as I can.

How can we develop the ability to be resilient? The first step is acknowledging that it is a skill worth putting the time in to develop. I think we can all agree that you are always in one of three stages in life. You are heading into a storm of life, in the middle of one or just coming out of one. That is not negative thinking, but realizing that there are always challenges to face. Most of them are not nearly as intense as the two listed above, but some are even greater. One of the things that we can do of the start is to have a vision for our life. If you do not have a destination for your life, how are you going to get anywhere? What is the purpose for you to get out of the bed in the morning? If it is to just pay bills and die, you are not going to be able to withstand what life has to throw at you. If it is to see your grandchildren grow up and bring as much to their lives as you can, that is a far stronger reason.

In addition to developing a strong ‘why’ for your life, developing a strong self-care routine is essential. If we do not take care of ourselves, we will not be able to take care of anyone else in our life. In addition, meeting challenges in the best possible state we can will give us the best chance of overcoming them. That is not something you can do if you do not take care of yourself. I would throw in a study of people who have overcome tragedy themselves. I cannot think of anyone who has made it through something intensely trying that did not want to share what helped them do it with others. Start with watching some of the videos Inky Johnson has on YouTube. If you know someone in your life that has overcome something challenging in their life, ask them for advice. In my second book, Living the Dream, I share several of these stories at the end as inspiration for us all.

If you find yourself in the middle of a circumstance that has you wanting to give up, let me share something that has helped me personally. Knowing the pain and hurt you are experiencing will give you the tools and strategies that can help others in the future going through that same pain will not only help you to keep pushing forward, it will also have you being present enough to learn the lessons that you will pick up along the way. You will emerge a stronger, more credible, and yes a more resilient person on the back end.

One very important note on the end of this post. If you are thinking of giving up, reach out for help. There are times when we need help developing that resilience. It will also give those helping you a feeling a value and purpose. Never give up on yourself. Study resilience. It is something that can and may save your life.

MANY ARE STILL FIGHTING

In the United States, today we will celebrate Veterans Day. Originally called Armistice Day which was created to celebrate the end of World War I, it was later changed to include all veterans. The purpose is to honor the debt that we all owe to those who have served in the protection of our freedoms and way of life.

What I would like to examine is the often overlooked irony and painful sacrifice that a lot of veterans go through. A man or woman will sign up for the armed forces for many reasons. Most of them involve an ideological, or moral conviction to defend the liberties they are afforded. They believe so strongly in these that they are willing to put their lives on the line to defend them. The irony is that the people who make the decisions to go to war, often do not show these same commitments themselves. The politicians and heads of state can be consumed in a quest for power, or a fit of ego. Still, the faithful soldier will go to battle to defend his country and his family.

The hard truth is that many of them never stop fighting. I am not talking about serving in the military until they die. No, many retire and can be haunted by what they saw or even had to do in battle. Some struggle openly. Some struggle silently. They are never free of their demons even if they choose not to show them. This can result in addictions to drugs, alcohol or nightmares that never go away. In this country, every 22 minutes a veteran will take their own life. Some never even spoke about the pain they were experiencing.

If you have a chance when you are out remember to thank a veteran for their service. Not just today, but every day. You may not agree with wars they have fought, and they might not have either, but they served for a belief to defend all that we hold dear. In anyway that you can, reach out to donate to, or even help at, agencies that serve veterans. These could save the life of one of the veterans we lose every 22 minutes. They served with spirit to help us. We owe them the same help.

JUST 1 DEGREE 🌡

While I continue to celebrate ice melting as winter turns to spring, I thought this quote was a great one to meditate on. It is the end of the week. It may have been a tough one. Things in the world are pretty crazy right now. There are lots of lives being turned upside down daily. The temptation to quit has never been greater for many. Sometimes just hanging on can seem like quite a struggle. Change and improvement can see like a far off horizon we cannot even see.

Think of the fact listed above. The shift of just one degree turns water, a liquid, into ice, a solid. One degree transforms it into something else entirely. I have heard this same advice applied to hitting a golf ball. Your swing can seem terribly far off, but if you just make a one millimeter change in the way you hit the ball, after going the distance, your ball will land in an entirely different area. The change is small. The result is huge. Can you see how a slight change in angle can result in an entirely different landing? How one degree can turn a liquid into a solid?

This is true is matter such as water and ice. It is true in golf and the effect of changing your starting angle. Do you know what else it is true in? Life. It can seem like everything around you is collapsing, and it might be. You might still be just one degree, or one millimeter off from a complete transformation of your life. Think of decisions we have made in our own life. Just like our examples above, the change was obvious right away, but given some time and distance, dramatic change will occur. Water takes a bit to freeze after you hit the temperature. That golf ball as to travel after you hit it at the new angle.

Think of decisions you have made. Maybe you decided to quit smoking. The change may not have happened by putting down that last cigarette, but making that decision can radically improve your life. Same with starting a new morning habit like meditation. You may not notice something on the first day, but after a month your days will feel radically different. How about writing in a gratitude journal at night? Once again, the first day may not yield any new results, but by the end of the month your life will be different.

Life may seem very overwhelming at the moment. Don’t give up. You might just be one degree, one millimeter or one decision away from an entirely different life.

YOU MATTER ALL OF THE TIME ⏰️

Here is a very important message all of us need to see. Yes, you reading this matter. It does not matter if you just accomplished the biggest goal of your life, or just made the biggest mistake of your life. You matter. If you are on top of the world, how you treat others who might not be there yet, or who can do nothing for you can tell a great deal of your character. Plus, how great does it feel when someone you think is further along in life than you, stops to compliment, encourage or help you? I know that makes a world of difference to me. You also serve as an example of how hard work and perseverance pays off. That could really help the determination of others who are struggling.

What about when you are seemingly on the bottom of the world? You may have messed up at work? Perhaps you made a mess of things at home? You certainly matter then. How you manage to treat people when you are hurting or struggling will not only speak volumes about your character, but inspire others. How valued do you feel when you know someone is really hurting but they still go out of their way to be nice or support you? You not only feel really loved, but your opinion of that person goes through the roof. When my beautiful lady still puts together a delicious meal even after a long day of making cakes, it has me loving her, and appreciating her more than ever.

When you are down on your luck, how you pick yourself up, and dust yourself off, can really inspire others. It also happens to be a great jazz song, but that is beside the point. We love reading stories of people who were down on their luck and came back. Why not have your story be one of them. Not only will you inspire those who know and love you, but looking back you may just inspire yourself.

You see, no matter who you are, or where your life is at, you matter. You can make a big difference and you can inspire others and yourself. Never give up. As cliche as it may sound, rock bottom makes a great foundation to build upon. Many great stories started with a very tough beginning. Yours may be the next great story.