There is a cliche that says, “If you live each day like your last, one day you’ll be right.” That is uncomfortably true. As we have discussed numerous times on this site, the funny thing about death is that it seldom calls ahead. Even if you know you the end is near, you are often in a comprised state unable to fulfill all of your desires.
Keeping this in mind, it would be wise for us to start living this way today. There are things that take energy, vitality and time that we should begin today. If you wait until the grim reaper sends you a telegram, it can often be too late.
An added bonus to living this lifestyle is that it brings peace of mind. When you are living life to the fullest, and know it, it is far easier to lay your head on the pillow at night. How about you? Are you living life to the fullest? Are you going to face your end with peace or with regret?
Most of you know I leave for work at 4am. On Monday this follows a night of being a DJ that has me home around 1am. That’s a tough turnaround. I have a fairly long commute. Going on 2 hours of sleep it can be difficult to maintain a grateful and positive attitude on occasion.
There are, however, many things that are a beautiful observation should I pay attention. The sun just beginning to rise this time of year created the amazing image above. That one you can’t help but notice. There are a few that are a little more subtle, but just as heartwarming.
About halfway to work I drive down a more secluded and quiet street. I enjoy the lack of stoplights, and the wildlife. One other thing I at every morning is an elderly couple going for their morning walk. They hold hands and look so loving. I hope to be doing the same with my lovely lady when we reach their age.
The point is, even with 2 hours of sleep heading in to a 9 hour workday, there are still plenty of things to make me smile. The only requirement is to be on the lookout for them. How about you? What are some of the things you are grateful for every morning?
On our most recent trip to Jamaica, the best souvenir that Margie and I brought home was the new connections and friendships that we returned home with. It is one of these I wantedto discusswith you today.
While lounging at the swim-up bar, we overheard a conversation between a lively British couple. The young lady, Bronte, was discussing some heroic acts that her husband Tom had engaged in to allow her to stay sober on an excursion they had embarked on. It ended being a comical affair that involved a shower and a towel as a pillow.
As we engaged in conversation with this wonderful couple, we discovered they were enjoying their honeymoon. In the course of routine conversation we learned enlightening things I would like to share with you.
Bronte informed us she used to be a nurse with a lot of experience in end-of-life care. Inquiring why she no longer was, she shared a story that was both sad and enlightening. Bronte explained that she was an empathetic person and really enjoyed connecting with her patients. Even though she knew their time was short, she wanted them to know someone cared. This made the passing of these people rather hard on her. She told us Tom would routinely pick her up and find her in tears. An example of how important it is to have a supportive spouse.
Despite the difficulties of this, she wanted to stay and bring compassion to her patients even if it cost her some emotional distress. What pushed her over the edge was the medical establishment’s solution. She was routinely told to distance herself from the patients and treat them more as cases and less like people. She watched as others did just that and it broke her heart. Ultimately, she had to make the decision to step away from that profession.
I really thought Bronte would enjoy my third book which chronicles my journey through open-heart surgery and my brief flirtation with death. Sadly, in many ways, I found medical care similar on this side of the pond. There was amazing people I interacted with from nurses to dietitians. They were the exception instead of the rule. After hearing Bronte’s story, I can better understand why.
What this story reminded me of, was Oprah Winfrey. When she began covering news stories she often became emotional hearing of loss and family tragedy. The media solution was the same as the one given to our friend Bronte. That was to view the people as a story and not fellow human beings.
Not only is the lack of empathy in both our medical and media worlds disheartening, but there is something worse. Both of these women were made to feel their empathy and compassion were a character flaw. Something they should work to get rid of. It is fortunate for the world the world that both of these ladies were brave enough not to let that happen.
We know the greatness that Oprah accomplished by not only accepting her empathy, but showcasing it in a way that serves others. I have no doubt that Bronte will reach greatness by sticking to her values and not allowing the world to make her cold. It is my hope that we will change to understand what a gift people who bring compassion and care for others are. If you find one in your life, make sure to thank them for being brave enough to care for others.
The quote here applies to all genders. As we are in the middle of another work week, keep this in mind. Plenty of people and circumstances will test your patience and resolve. True strength is being able to remain calm in the middle of chaos.
Why is remaining calm so important? When we react with emotions, we seldom make good decisions both in our words and actions. This tends to make our situation even worse. When we act from a calm state of mind, we speak and act with a better state of mind. This may help us out of chaos. At the very least, it will not take us further in it.
Remaining calm in the middle of chaos is not easy, but it is worth it.
This may be an unpopular stance in a social media and ‘like’ driven world, but we really need to work on the relationship we have with ourselves. The world is filled with people who will do just about anything to get out attention. When your focus is on getting attention and approval from others, they become your master.
The paradox of all of this is that when we are most authentically ourselves is when we are most impressive. An original work of art is always more impressive than a copy. You are most valuable when you are being the truest version of you. Why? There cannot be another. You are that original work of art.
People worry, “What if they do not like me for who I really am?” That is a legitimate worry. If you are trying to be something you are notand someone doesn’t like you, at least you can tell yourself, “They never knew the real me. ” If you are brave enough to be the real you and they still do not like you? That hits deeper.
To that we will go back to our art example. Not everyone likes the same art. Does that make it any less of a work of art? No it does not. You might not be someone’s cup of tea, as the saying goes. They might be a coffee drinker and that’s ok. It does not mean you are not an amazing cup of tea.
Before we get lost in analogy, let us answer a very important question. How do we become impressed with ourselves? We do hard things. We keep our word with others and with ourselves. We never stop working to become the best version of ourselves. When we do these things, we will not be hurt if some people don’t like us.
How many of you saw this headline and thought “Oh, Neil is talking to me!”? I am guessing not to many of you. Still, the truth is that it applies to all of us. We may never know all of the lives we have impacted and miracles we have worked. Have you ever seen the movie It’s a Wonderful Life? In the movie, the main character is shown what the world would look like had he never been born. He is then able to see all of the lives he has impacted and miracles he has created. Far be it from me to give advice to the Creator, but it strikes me that this would benefit many more people than it wouldn’t.
I have been blessed (I can think of no other word to use here) to be told that my words have saved the lives of several people. Just one person would have made this all worth while. On the occasion that I get hung up on the frustration of not being able to reach more people, I have this beautiful lady who reminds me of all the lives I have touched. That doesn’t stop me from wanting to reach more, but it does remind me of the impact I have had. The truth is that we all have that impact. It could be treating a retail worker with kindness when they have had a tough day. It could be someone watching us from afar and being inspired by our actions. If you are a parent, you have already worked many miracles.
How would you live your life different if you stopped and realized that you are indeed are a miracle worker? If you were to stop and consider the impact your actions had on the lives of others, would you be more inspired to be kinder and more inspiring? Well here is your wake up call! You are a miracle worker. You have touched more lives than you will ever know. When the world wants to knock you down, go forth with the knowledge that you have lifted others up. Often without ever knowing. You are a miracle worker.
Who would not want a more beautiful world? These days things are getting a little ugly in many places. We can feel helpless to make any real change. Most of us are not leaders of countries. We are not those who make laws. We do not lead religions or are not celebrities who have millions of followers. Considering these facts, how can any of us hope to make changes that can make the world a more beautiful place?
The answer can be found in our own lives. When we think about who made the greatest difference in our life it was not the government or a celebrity. No. It was usually a kind word from a friend. Perhaps an encouraging word from our parents. A supportive and loving word from our partner can change our life. Even random kind acts from strangers have a greater impact in our life.
The point is simple. If you wish for a more beautiful world, then spread kindness and love to all you meet. It is those interactions that change people’s lives.
This, on the surface, may sound a bit material. I take it with the humor it was intended to have. In other words, life is better when you have something to look forward to. It does not have to be packages. If you are buying too many things, you could get yourself in financial trouble and your house could end up looking like an episode of hoarders. Same with vacation. Trust me, I would take a 6 month vacation twice a year if I could. It would make paying the bills a little tricky.
You can manage these. Small gifts to give to others are nice packages to receive. Even consumables that you can afford for yourself. A vacation doesn’t have to be a tropical getaway. It should, in my opinion, but it doesn’t have to. A weekend away with that special someone or a getaway with friends can be just as exciting.
The important part of this message is to always have something to look forward to in your life. Margie and I pick days to read together, watch a movie or maybe go to the movies or a special place for dinner. Many of these do not cost anything but a little time and commitment. The payoff is that we always have something to look forward to and makes getting through the day far easier. How about you? What are you looking forward to in life? Can you plan something fun?
Leave it to me to pick a month that has 31 days in it to do a 30 day gratitude journey. It didn’t seem right to end it with only 1 day left in the month. Therefore, we get a bonus day of gratitude.
This picture was taken a little over a year ago. It is crazy to imagine that last year at this time I reached 1000 days in a row of posting a blog. Unknown to me, my lovely lady gathered some close friends around to celebrate. That in itself was amazing. Each person said a little something as Margie recorded a video. That is a memory I will always cherish. In this one event there are a million things I can pick out to be grateful for!
This is blog number 1367. As you can see I made it another year! Still another thing to be grateful for. I hope this month was as powerful and enlightening for you as it was for me. If you missed any of the 30 days, you can go back and read those posts. If you feel the need for a month of gratitude, they will be here anytime you wish to take the journey. Next month we will be back to our regularly scheduled self-improvement content. You are welcome to join us!
If you know me personally, or follow this blog for any length of time, you may guess that my answer here would be summer. I do love that season and the warmth and sunshine that comes with it. Certainly no denying that. I would like to offer gratitude for the upcoming season today. That season being spring. Where I live, it seems that winter lasts about 9 months of the year. It is also listed as the 8th gloomiest city in the nation. For someone who loves sunshine as much as I do, that can be hard to take. That is why spring is so inspiring. Even if you are a fan of winter, by this time most of us have had enough. Enough of the shoveling and driving through snow. Enough of the grey sky and dead looking trees.
Spring, often starts with the same sort of weather, but in the back of our minds there is hope. When that snow comes we think to ourselves, “At least it will not last that long.” We look for buds on trees and other signs that old man winter is on his way out. We are looking for the sky of grey to become one of a resplendent blue. We hope the ray of sunshine will not only warm the air, but our hearts as well. So I am grateful for the coming of spring, which will arrive here in less than a week.
The talk of spring brings attention to other seasons that we should be grateful for as well. How about the season of growth in our own life? Just like the season of spring with its up and down weather including rain and sun mixed with clouds, our own growth is the same. A season of growth causes us to learn lessons, not always in a comfortable way. We must often let go of things to make room for something better. We do so because we believe something better will take its place. That is a season of hope. In a world that can often be dark, we must know that a better time is coming. A time when there will be more love for our neighbors and less division. We must hold on to that hope. A season of hope can help us make it through many dark times. That is truly a season to be grateful for.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 