These are some very simple rules to create an amazing life. One of my favorites is the first one – remember death. So many of us push death out of our minds. We do not even like to think about it. It is scary. It is sad. Here is the thing, it is also inevitable and unpredictable. That should scare us a little, but scare us into action! Knowing that it may be our last day should motivate us to make it our best day!
Another good one is being present. In today’s world, that can also be one of the toughest. We have more distractions now than we ever did. There is television, radio the internet and our cell phones just to name a few. We can be so distracted that we are not even living our own life. Then, when we reach it’s inevitable end, we only wish we would have lived it fuller. By then it is too late.
Tell me which one of these rules do you feel could have the greatest impact on living an amazing life? Do you have any others you would offer?
The above photos were taken at the exact same time, from the exact same location. If you looked to the west, the sky was black and the moon was full. If you turned 180°, in the east, the sun was visible just peaking over the horizon. Complete night and complete daytime.
It had me thinking of how similar this is to life. At the very same moment, our life can feel like complete darkness or it can feel like hope is just coming over the horizon. It can feel this way depending on which way we direct our focus. When we look at everything we lack, everything that is wrong, our life can seem bleak, dark and hopeless. Turn our mind 180° and focus on all we have to be grateful for, hope seems to rise just like a sunrise. Same life, all that changed was our focus.
We have covered this subject before, but it is worth repeating. Everyone you meet is facing some battles. Could be physical health. It could be mental health. My they are dealing with heartache? We just never know. Many people are great at hiding their pain. Especially those who have been carrying their pain with them awhile.
Think of the trials and tribulations you carry on a regular basis. It could be personal, or maybe even worried about someone you love. So the next time someone cuts you off in traffic or maybe runs into you with their shopping cart, know that they could be lost in anguish we know nothing about. Have compassion. Give the grace you would like someone to give to you.
There is a point in the journey of self-improvement that is very difficult. With some irony, it is not the beginning. It is when you are well into your journey. You have begun making some changes in your habits and behaviors. Maybe you have seen some improvement, but certainly your life has not yet changed to the degree you were hoping for. Here is the challenging part. The people you used to surround yourself with, who may still be living a life much like the one you were trying to leave behind, do not really feel right to hang around with anymore. Maybe they want to go out for cocktails every night while you are focused on getting up early to hit the gym before work. Maybe they are discussing gossip and the ‘who is doing who’ while you want to discuss something new you have learned about the law of attraction. They call you weird or lame. Sometimes they may actively start to avoid you because your efforts to become better shine a spotlight on their lack of effort. They may not even do this consciously.
The worst part is that you have been not doing this long enough to have found your new group of people who are working to improve themselves. The ones who will both accept and encourage your efforts. You are in a purgatory of sorts. Not where you used to be, but not yet where you wish to go. This is where the temptation to give up and go back to that old crowd so you can feel like you belong is the strongest. You feel like an outcast or a weirdo. Here is what I can tell you. Any of us who have traveled the journey to better ourselves have faced this period. It can feel lonely. It can feel awkward. Trust the process. You will find yourself surrounded by like-minded people soon enough. Keep your head high. Most importantly, fall in love with yourself and the brave journey you are on! Do not give up on all of your efforts.
While you wait for this time to pass, do not forget how many resources are out there. There may be local groups that meet to discuss self-improvement ideas. Cannot find any? There are plenty of online communities that do so. Begin to comment and engage on here and you will find like-minded souls! After all, we are in over 200 countries. Sometimes someone in the online community can lead you to a physical group to hook up with. Just fall in love with who you are right now while keeping the focus on who you will become! You are a beautiful soul now, and you are only getting better and brighter!
Here is a real-life situation that I wanted to share because it affects a lot of us. Your situation may not be exactly the same, but I bet you can relate in some form or fashion. A gentleman at work asked if he could run something by me that he was dealing with. Always happy to help a friend I quickly said “Yes.” He told me his brother discovered his wife had been cheating on him, was planning to leave him. That of course made him feel worthless and in this case he was thinking of all kinds of unpleasant ways of dealing with the situation.
This friend was very concerned for his brother and could relate. He said that he had tried talking to his brother, but feeling as he did, his brother did not want to talk to anyone. In a desperate situation, he asked me what I would do. Here was my best advice. I asked what his brother was good at. He told me his brother was an expert on music trivia. I told him to tell his brother he had a music question and he knew he was exactly the person who could help him with it. This would do several things for his brother. First, it would help him realize that he did have skills and value. Sure, music trivia may seem insignificant, but when you are feeling useless, anything helps. Second, it will give his brother an opportunity to help someone. This will give a feeling of purpose and value as well. In addition, by giving help, he may feel a little more comfortable asking for help. It would help ‘balance the scales’ if you will. In thanking his brother for the help, it would also give his brother a sense of accomplishment. Letting him know that he did do something good for someone.
What would you have done in this situation? Have you ever found yourself in the same situation as my coworker, or maybe even as his brother? It is so important to know that we all have value. It may not be in the area we are currently wanting it to be, but we are very valuable just the same. The world would be a lot darker without us in it. When we are feeling down, we need to be reminded of all the good we can do. It may be as simple as helping others. Regaining that feeling of value and accomplishment.
On another note, this is why it is so important to remind all of the people in our lives of their value and importance. You never know when they will be hit by something that seems stronger than them. Everyone needs to be reminded of their strength. Think of someone you can do this for today. Do not wait until someone is hurting to remind them how special they are.
How many of us have heard the saying “Don’t know what you got until it’s gone?” Also happens to be a great rock song from the 80s, but I digress. It really can bring us done to think of everything we might have lost, but a slight change in mindset can turn everything around.
There are many things we fail to appreciate until they are gone. Like a job that is barely tolerated until it is lost, and the income that goes with it. The car we complain about until it dies and we are forced to take the bus.
Loss sucks. There is no way getting around that. Using it to foster a greater sense of appreciation, and gratitude, could make it suck a little less.
So much talk in the self-improvement circles about finding your passion, or finding your ‘why’. I couldn’t agree more that finding, or more importantly, deciding on your life purpose makes life not only more productive but easier. You always know if you’re going in the right direction and if the action you are about to take will serve you well or not.
The question that always comes up is, “What should I do until I decide what the purpose of my life should be?” The answer is in the photo above. Until you know what you should be working on, work on yourself.
Working in yourself should be a life-long journey. We are always learning and growing. The better you become, the better and less stressful your life becomes. Today, if you find yourself not knowing what to do, ask yourself what can you do to move closer to the best version of yourself.
It sure is great if your spouse is happy. If the boss is in a good mood that doesn’t hurt. If the weather is pleasant and traffic flows well that sure makes for a great day! When the people we encounter everywhere and the service we receive all come with a smile.
Let me ask you another question. What are the odds that all of those things will happen in the same day? How many days do you think they can all remain true? The odds do not seem stacked in our favor. If your happiness depends on all, or any, of these holding true, you are likely to find yourself a little short on happy days.
The ironic thing is people spend most of their energy trying to control, it worse complaining about, things beyond their control. What good does that do? It leaves us feeling both exhausted and frustrated. That also does not put a smile on our face.
Instead, we should focus on developing inner processes that bring us joy. Developing an attitude of gratitude would be a great start. Look around you for all of the things in your life that are going great. That does not mean being blind to the challenges. It means realizing even in the darkest of times we have plenty of things going right!
Ask yourself today, does your happiness depend on outside circumstances? If so, today would be a great day to take back control of your emotions. Let me know what makes a happy day for you!
Last night, Margie and I stopped at Olive Garden. Certainly not my favorite Italian restaurant, but it would do nicely when you are craving some pasta. We had a wonderful server and a very nice and filling meal.
The most impactful thing for me happened before we were even seated. Waiting for a table in the lobby we were seated next to a family that had a child between 1 and 2 years old. Suddenly, that child spotted another around the same age and took off running.
As the two children stopped in front of each other and stared, the adults looked on. These children did not know each other, were of different races and were not introduced to each other. Before long they were running around the lobby following each other.
Such a simple and heartwarming event. It was their innocence that allowed them to do something most adults struggle with. Walk up to a stranger, one who looks different than you, and just start sharing life with them. They found bliss in the moment. I think that is something we lose along the way that would be worth finding.
This should be of no shock to anyone, but we live in a rather crazy world. Between the news outlets and the advertising budgets, we are bombarded with notifications 24/7! We were always taught that technology would give us so much free time, but it often gives us more stress. That is not to say there isn’t wonderful things technology does for us, but I am not sure about all of that free time.
That is why it is so important to ‘water ourselves’ with the items above. Keep the mental health up and the stress level down. Have you thought about, or do you do any of the above on a regular basis? Do you love yourself? Do you practice self-belief? How about patience? Hope? Do you have actions to help you develop or experience these things? It might be a wise idea to print out, or write down, those words and have fun finding ways to work them into your daily life. I would love to hear some of your ideas!
