This is a great litmus test to put our words through. How many times a day do we let something escape our lips that we shouldn’t? Having these 3 questions in mind would help prevent that from happening. Remember you cannot unsay something.

How do we keep these questions front and center? Use this picture as your screensaver, pertain jot them down on an index card you carry with you. Then, put it into practice. Try doing this just for a conversation here and there. Eventually, it well become a way of not only speaking, but thinking as well.

So you don’t feel too down on yourself when you first try this, allow me to share my experience. I tried this at work and all I can say is “wow!” I never realized how many useless negative things I say there! Even someone who writes positivity for a living! Although a bit taken aback, I was excited. There is so much room for me to improve my conversation skills.

Try this yourself. I’m about to meet a friend for coffee and am going to try again. I think you will notice different people bring out different conversations. I would love to hear your experience as well!


  1. I think the first question is a no brainer. Yes, it should all be truthful, in most instances. Anything other would be malicious gossip said to another person that heard it from another and so on. Or maybe it’s just someone who lies repeatedly. In either scenario, the person indeed has a problem. But what if your child brings home the ugliest art project you ever saw. Are you going to tell him/her, that you have never seen such a horrible drawing? Of course not! Truthfulness is many times subjective.

    The second question can involve experiences one would like to share, based on actually events. Is it necessary? Obviously to the person sharing or they wouldn’t have bothered bringing the topic up. Does the person listening or reading what is being shared think it’s necessary? That would depend on the listener or reader actually having interest in the topic, or maybe even the person sharing. In other words, what I find fascinating, you could care less about and change the subject, or answer with an honest answer that you don’t care to discuss it. Obviously, the later response was not kind, but still true.

    Third, is it kind? To whom or what? Maybe if it is unkind, but it may not necessarily be to the person that the topic is being shared with, but could be unkind to a situation, action, story or person that the topic is about in the first place. Are we only kind to those that are kind to us? I hope not! Kindness to a total stranger is usually received as a lovely gesture! Yet, in some instances, you can be kind to a neighbor and never ever receive a thank you. Is that kind?

    I think these three questions leave out human emotion, life experiences, family situations and honestly, we do not live in a utopian society. Too many variables can affect all of us. It doesn’t mean we are liars, talking about things that usually no one else cares about, or that we are unkind. As a Born Again Christian, I believe Jesus is infallible. Jesus suffered and died for my sins and I have a personal relationship with my Lord. I grow as a person and I’m constantly learning about what my faith means and how to be a righteous Christian. I am a sinner, as we all are, but my faith is stronger than ever!

    Liked by 1 person

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