An amusing quote for sure, but one that has a powerful meaning. It is not really about the hoofed animal, but the people who are actually below even them. We are talking about those folks who spend their time gossiping, going behind people’s back, lying and just operating as disrespectful humans.
Just as a pig is home in the mud, these people are at home in despicable behavior. When we try match them in deplorable actions, not only are they more experienced, but we reduce our character by our attempt to emulate them.
When you see someone engage in petty or underhanded behavior, just say to yourself, “another pig in the mud.” Then, move on making sure you rise above their behavior.
*we apologize to any pigs that were offended by these comparisons*
It sure does sting when we are disrespected, doesn’t it? Unwarranted personal attacks can hurt for a long time. The first response can be to respond in kind, or even with greater ferocity. We can spend time and energy sharpening our wit to better prepare for the next unexpected insult.
In what is now my 51 years on the planet I have learned this is not only a waste of time, but it steals time from actions that could propel our life to the next level. A far better option is to work hard to create a life that is difficult to attack. It is better for our stress level as well as improving our life.
I understand it can sure feel good to ‘get back at’ someone who disrespects you. What did you get out of that? A momentary feeling of satisfaction? You also gave validation and satisfaction to the person who disrespected you. Yes, you may have said something clever, or made them look foolish. Meanwhile, your reaction gave them satisfaction and took valuable time and focus away from improving your own life.
Next time you are the recipient of disrespect, or an unwarranted attack, walk away. It is not only an option, it is the best option.
These days it would seem that some people relish seeing the downfall of others. Here is a way in which we can put that downfall to use in our own life. Look at what we can learn from that downfall. It can be someone doing something to ruin their reputation and their career. It can be the fall of someone’s marriage. It can be someone ruining their own health. As I have seen recently, someone passing and leaving a legacy of hate and deplorable actions. We can learn from each and every one of these.
We can learn from other’s mistakes because we cannot make them all ourselves. It is also a chance to practice a little compassion. We all make mistakes and do things we regret. If you are reading a site like this, it would be safe to assume that you are trying to make less of them. One way to do so is look at each of these downfalls of others and think of how we can avoid making the same mistakes. Did your friends marriage fall apart over a lack of intimacy or communication? Maybe it would be time to brush up on your own? Did a relative lose their job due to downsizing? It would be a wise idea to brush up on your resume and skills.Lastly, passing away without leaving a decent legacy is something I think we should all keep in mind. The hour of death is always uncertain and we should work hard each day to make a positive difference.
We should never celebrate the downfall of others, but we should learn from as many as we can. Each one can also be an opportunity to help. What can we do for the people in the situations above? The more we learn and help, the better our life will be!
There are so many guides to create success and abundance out there today. Even this site has many posts dedicated to improving your state both materially and financially. Why? In today’s society material wealth will help you create change, improve your health and provides many of the things we need. It is far from the greatest wealth. If you have great financial and material abundance but do not have peace in your soul, your life will be one of stress and misery. The old cliche that ‘money cannot buy happiness’ has a ring of truth to it. If you are not at peace with who you are and the life you are living, no amount of material wealth will make you happy.
One way to certainly add inner peace to your life is to do what the quote above says. That is to simply live with honor towards other people, animals and the earth in general. What does ‘live with honor’ mean exactly? It is not a subject often discussed at length today. Honor may be a word that seems dated. It should not be. Mutual respect towards all, especially those who are different or that we disagree with, is such a challenge many would rather not even think about it. It is that respect that can allow us to sleep well at night.
Mutual respect can be as simple as not causing harm to anyone. This is far more than not slapping that annoying coworker over the head. Harm can be gossiping behind someone’s back. It can be littering on the planet we all share. Yes, that also includes treating others harshly. This can be true even to someone who we may feel deserves it. Have you ever ‘gotten the better’ of someone in an argument and still felt terrible that night or the next morning? That is annoying isn’t it? You had the right to tell them off like you did, but it sill is eating away at your gut. That is because a lack of compassion, even for those who do not deserve it, is not right.
We never can completely know someone’s intent or the experiences or stories that have resulted in the actions they have taken. Another important point to consider is that it is not our right to judge. We do not deserve to be judged by others anymore than we have a right to do the same. Next time you feel the urge to gossip or say something hurtful, ask yourself the simple question “Would I like this very thing to be done to me?” The answer we know before the question is even said. If we cease to do this to others, will it still be done to us? Yes, sadly it will. That is not our concern. There is a saying that “What others think of you is none of your business.” While I think it could be helpful to learn if you are doing something that hurts others, I think it would be more valuable to work on making sure our intent is true.
If you want to be truly wealthy, take a pause from the investments and get rich quick schemes. Instead invest on the things that money cannot buy such as compassion and respect for others and for ourselves. Invest more on building inner peace than you invest on building your real estate portfolio. The dividends will be greater and you will end up with true wealth.
Have you ever heard that there are 3 sides to every story? Usually this consists of one side, the other side and the truth, which is somewhere in the middle. That is just one of the reasons you avoid gossipevery chance you get. In the picture above you will see another reason to avoid gossip. It is the like game ‘telephone’ you used to play as a child. One person says something and it is passed down from person to person. In what seems like an alarmingly short time, the story does not resemble at all what it first started out as. Gossiping the same way. Taking part in it and you may unknowingly fall victim to information that is quite far from the truth.
Here is another point to mention. Gossip, even if there is a great deal of truth to it, makes the person saying it look bad. When you are sharing bad things about others, especially in a public forum, you look bad. Most people look at someone speaking ill of others and think that they look shallow and vindictive. Even if what you are saying is 100% true, which is seldom the case, what good is there is sharing someone else’s faults with others? It is unlikely to help change what you view to be their faults. It is certain that it will not help the person spreading the gossip. There is one other important thing to consider when you are spreading gossip.
Spreading gossip makes you look untrustworthy. Even if that is the very gossip you are spreading about someone else. Hearing someone say, “Don’t trust her, she can’t be trusted.” People will notice it is coming from someone speaking ill of a person who is not present. How trustworthy is that? Not to mention, the thought that eventually creeps in everyone’s mind who hears gossip is, “If they are saying that about them, what do they say about me when I am not around?” Considering the times that we get upset with others, including those we care about, it is a legitimate question.
If you really feel the urge to gossip, there is a way in which you should do so. If you feel you must discuss people instead of ideas, there is a way in which you can satisfy that urge and maybe even help yourself in the process. That is gossip positively about someone. When was the last time you heard any gossip that was positive? Have you noticed that when people discuss others in their absence it is almost always negative? How do you feel walking away from one of those conversations? It usually brings your energy down and as we discussed earlier, makes you think less of the person doing the gossiping. Now, how would you feel if you were witness to some positive gossip? Never heard of such a thing? Just imagine how you might feel then? One, the person doing the gossip would feel a lot better than had they just been trashing someone. Secondly, those listening would have a much more favorable opinion of the gossiper. Lastly, they would not worry about what you are saying about them when you are not around.
Try this today. Spread some positive gossip. It may even feel weird at first. Run with it anyway. It will force you to think of positive aspects of those you know. This will also help increase your feelings of gratitude. Trust me when I tell you there is never enough gratitude in our lives. Watch other’s reactions when you do this. Watch their faces light up and notice how it will even make them feel good. Word of warning. Sometimes others will be so unused to this that they may try to turn the gossip negative. Do not let that happen. It is not that they are willfully being malicious, it is just that they are also used to gossip being negative. Change the narrative. Be the light in a world of darkness. Next time you hear someone gossiping, let them know you are not interested and walk away.
I have to share this story that just happened to me. Before heading out the door to write today, I told the love of my life, “I have no idea what I am going to write about.” As I was booting up my computer and settling in with my cup of coffee, I could not help but hear the two people next to me talking. It was a man and a womanin their mid to late sixties. The woman was complaining how stupid her son was. “He is married to that no good girl who blocked me.” she continued. The man countered with tails of his own children and how they annoy him even though they live out of state. Here is the crazy thing, they both went on to complain that their children never call them or want to get together with them.
The problem may seem obvious to most of us. However, these two people are certainly not alone in doing this. Daily, I am reminded of this at work and even when I DJ on the weekends. People only speak of their partner in negative terms. “You will never believe what stupid thing my husband did last night.” or “My wife is nagging me again.” Not surprising, the next day they come in with a tale of how they got into a big disagreement with their spouse the night prior.
Here is some powerful relationship advice. When it comes to the good in your relationship, share it everywhere you can. When it comes to negative items and disagreements, keep them in house. There are so many reasons you should do this. One, your words influence your attitude. This, in turn, influences your actions. Second, whoever you are talking to has their own bias and prejudice that they will bring to the situation. Seldom, if ever, will they encourage you to take and objective look at the situation. They may reinforce your negative opinions in an attempt to comfort you. This will only serve to magnify any negative emotions you are already feeling. The same holds true about positive words you say. Which is why you should share them. Lastly, it damages the image of the person you are talking about. After the disagreement has passed, the person you shared it with will have a less glowing opinion of your friend/spouse or whoever you were discussing.
If you don’t believe me, prove this to yourself. For the next week, speak all the good you can about all of the people you can and watch how your relationships improve. Not to mention, the more positive you speak, the more enjoyable you are to be around.
This idea may seem very basic to many of you, but it is still very valuable and has a great deal of truth. This is a simple scale. As you can see it goes from negative four, to positive four. This is a great metaphor for our lives. If we think that by eliminating the negative, it will give us a positive life, we can see that is not so. If you think, “I don’t beat my spouse. I don’t smoke. I don’t say anything bad about others. That makes you a positive person.” As you can see by the graph above, that is not exactly so. If you are not doing anything negative, that puts you at zero.
To get to the positive, we must add positive things. We must work hard to make our spouse feel loved and appreciated. That is a positive. Ok, now we are at one. Don’t smoke? that is great. Staying active and eating a healthy diet, that is a positive. That puts us at two. It is good to not say anything negative about others or spread gossip. That means you do not get a negative. Want another positive? Try speaking empowering and kind things about as many people as you can.
The secret to an amazing life is to blend eliminating as many negatives from your life as you can. You also have to add as many positives as you can.Doing both of these at the same time will lead to the biggest improvements. Just make sure you are not making yourself feel overwhelmed. How many negatives can you think of to eliminate in your life? What are some positives you can add?
Not many things frustrate or surprise me at this stage of my life. One thing that does, however, is adults perpetuate problems by their insistence to participate in them. This often infantile behavior both shocks and perplexes me. If you are in the middle of a bad situation, and you can, step away from it.
I have heard adults say things such as, “After what he said about me, I’m going to tell people things about him!” What?! Is this a childhood classroom? How about you just don’t give them anything bad to say about you? Why even care? I believe in what Frank Sinatra said. “The best revenge is massive success.” Focus on you, your life and making them both amazing. If you are busy doing that, you will have no time to care about what others are saying and doing.
As you saw in the first picture, merely being a part of a bad situation can help it to spread. Think of these situations in your own life. Are there any that you should have stepped away from? Are there any in your life you should step away from now? If you are ever thinking of revenge, remember our friend Frank, and just focus on creating massive success in your own life!
There are lots of things that come to mind when you think of strength. A plant is usually not one, but I am here to set the record straight. House plants, and plants in general, are some of the most adaptive and strong organisms out there. They are able to do many things that are seemingly miraculous and could teach us a great many life lessons. What lessons could we possibly learn from a plant? I am going to answer that question, and you will never look at that potted neighbor of yours the sameagain.
The first lesson that plants can teach us is how to use just about everything that comes into our life. When the sun shines, the plants turn that sunlight into energy. Based on how I feel during the winter, I might do this as well. What about when it rains? Plants soak up that water and use that as well. They put both of them to work. Both the good and the seemingly bad. In everyone’s life there are moments when a little B.S. seems to come around. You lose a job. You have relationship challenges. Whatever it might be, these are like the manure of life. What do plants do when you cover them with the stuff? They find the good in it they can use and end up stronger for it. In fact, the more manure you cover a plant with, the better it grows! When life gives us a little ‘manure’ we can do the same thing. Find the good, or at least something we can use, and force ourselves to grow.
As I was pondering the amazing aspects of plants, another analogy came to mind. One of the wonderful things plants do for us is an exchange of gas. They take carbon dioxide, a gas that is considered waste, combines it with water and turns those two things into glucose and oxygen, respectively. I am, of course, simplifying the process greatly. In essence, they take a waste gas, do a little rearranging, and release something refreshing that helps other things live! They also use the glucose for fuel to help them survive. This reminded me of the negative gases we all face. I am not talking about being stuck in the elevator with a man who consumed too much Mexican food the night before. No, I am talking about the gossip we hear. It is the negative attitudes we encounter. The people always telling us the sky is falling. If we could take the ‘waste gas’ they expel, combine it with hope and the good that we know is the truth, we could emit something far more healthy. Words of encouragement and praise are like the oxygen for the soul. Being able to turn all of that negativity around and instead speak hope, love and encouragement will make us feel good as well. This is kind of like the glucose the plant uses to help itself grow.
Using both the sunshine and the rain of our lives is not easy. Taking those ‘manure moments’ and using them for growth, also not easy. How about absorbing all of that ‘waste gas’ of gossip, negativity, doom and gloom and tweaking it a little so that we end up releasing hope, love and encouragement? If you think that is easy, you must have never tried it. Here is the simple fact. All of these situations are possible to do. House plants do it all of the time. When they do it well, guess what happens? They grow a lot! When they stop doing them, even for a little while, they begin to die. We could be the same way. Let us put everything to work for us. Let us use it all. The sun, the rain, the manure and the waste gas of life. Let the plants of the world remind us that when you put your environment to work for you, instead of falling victim to it, you will experience a vast amount of growth.
For those of you who know me personally, the title of this post should not be much of a surprise. On any given day, I would rather speak with a dog than some people I know. If you read into the quote, it also fits the author. In this case the dogs that bark are people and situations that cause a distraction. When you are working on transforming your life to one you not only can be proud of, but one you will enjoy living every day, you cannot stop and worry about what Jane said about Susan. You can’t even really worry about the gossip that Jane or Susan may be saying about you.
In 23 years of bartending, and now several years being a DJ, I have noticed there are plenty of people who could fit in the category of barking dogs. If I did stop and worry about all of the people who wish to be detractors, I would have a lot less energy and time to work on improving myself and my life. Add to that, the input I receive from the over 200 countries this website is followed in, and there are countless people with something to say. This is not to say you should not listen to feedback. To me, engaging with people around the globe is one of the best parts about being international. What we should not fall victim to is the ‘keyboard rangers’, as Greg Plitt used to refer to them. Those are the sad souls who spend their lives criticizing from behind a computer screen. These folks are generally not putting in time to improve their own lives and are more focused on tearing down others. Do you think people like Warren Buffett and Jeff Bezos sit down and respond to every negative comment about them? No. They are busy running their respective companies.
Next time you are tempted to respond to ideal gossip or some ‘keyboard ranger’, ask yourself, “Will spending time on this bring me any closer to my goal? By doing so, will it take precious time away from improving my life and my position in it?” There are a lot of people who feel they need to respond to everything that is said and done. Is that not letting your emotions control you? I know there are people who slander you and continue to say negative things. I know you would like to get back at them and get some feeling of revenge. Trust me, it is not worth it and gives them even more power over you. Still don’t trust me on this point? That is fine. I will leave you with the wise words of the singer Frank Sinatra.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 