There is so much good stuff to unpack in this quote. It is true that the world seems bent on gaining your 15 minutes of fame. Often, just for the ability to be famous. Many do not apply that fame to anything worthwhile. The truth, as revealed in this quote, is that you do not have to be famous. You do not have to even be seen, popular or well-known. One of the most powerful things you can do to stand out is to be kind. Be the kind of person who makes people smile.
When I mention this to others, they often reply with a little bit of sarcasm. “How Mr. Rogers of you.” I hear. One lady even looked at me and replied in a bit of a condescending manner, “Nobody smiles anymore.” Despite her tone, she wasn’t wrong. This is exactly why we need to do it more often. The examples of making cashiers smile, waiters laugh and lonely people feel seen, that is world-changing stuff. So many people do the opposite. That is why kindness not only makes you rare, it makes you extraordinary! Kindness is even more valuable and treasured due to the fact it is so rare.
If you feel the need to stand out, do so by being kind. There is very little competition and the payoff is creating a world that is a brighter place for us all. The world needs more of that. The world needs more of your kindness.
A few posts ago I mentioned a little act of kindness i found hidden in the Wisconsin State Fair. Here we are again! This act was not hidden. Quite the contrary. It was smack in the center. An activity of a local bank.
When I saw the sign in the first photo, I had to see what it was all about. I was told to take a puzzle piece and write something kind I had done or was done to me. This is a great thing to make people stop and think about in the middle of the festival. Then, you take your puzzle piece and put it on its proper place on a bigger sign. When it was complete it looked like the second picture
Lastly, this whole thing was run by volunteers that were super friendly and helpful. They smiled and shared kindness of their own. To me, this was the perfect activity to conduct where a large group of people was gathered. Activities like this are what can help to bring people together.
Today is Monday. Regardless of what day you have found this post on, this is a good rule to follow. In a society that wants to be noticed, many people feel the need to say something. Sadly, many of these people say things that are sarcastic, rude or just mean. None of them need be said. We all have days where we are feeling less than optimal. It could have been a lack of sleep, feeling under the weather or just irritated. Whatever the reason, we do not feel social. In this case, it is ok to just be quiet. If you come across someone who is normally social and they tell you they are not up to it, they might just be following this rule.
Taking this up a notch, run what you are about to say through this filter. It even has a nice, handy acronym. If what you are about to say does not fit at least one of these metrics, hopefully more, than it is not really worth saying. If you still feel compelled to speak, than spend some time coming up with something that is one of the above. Let us focus less on being heard and more on providing something worth hearing.
Here is a photo of my lovely lady and I enjoying some rum punch as we arrived at our hotel in beautiful Green Island Jamaica last Monday. As you can tell from the picture, we were determined to have a good time. In addition to that, we were determined to bring as much love, kindness and fun to all of the people that we met. The souvenir we wanted to bring home was new friendships and memories of bringing joy to others. Being of service and trying to leave someone a little bit better than they were before they met you is one of the greatest joys in life.
We made many great new friends. Three of which are pictured above. First, was Shantal. This young lady was sunshine in the human form. She hosted karaoke, which Margie sang at. She was so nice to us before the show began, loved Margie’s singing and spent some time talking with us after the show. She told us where she finds inspiration and we discussed how important a positive attitude is in life. Every interaction we had with Shantal only made us happier we had the opportunity to get to know her. We both hope this will be a life-long friendship
Next was Enrico Pezzoli, the managing director of the resort we were staying at. Before we had a chance to meet with him, we heard several things about him from his employees. We heard they really felt listened to by him. Many stating how he was always present and encouraging. Mr. Pezzoli was kind enough to take time out of his busy schedule to talk with us not once, but twice. He told us about the casino and entertainment venue they are building next to the resort. He also shared tips on where to travel in Italy. We chatted some about my books and I look forward to hearing more about his thoughts on them.
Lastly, was a server we had at breakfast. Her name was Felecia. She could not have been kinder and more pleasant. When Margie ordered soursop juice, she offered information on the fruit itself and how she enjoyed eating them. She even went to look to see if they had some extras they had not juiced in back so she could better show us what she meant. Not only was she friendly, but treated us as friends and not just another table to wait on. We were fortunate enough to see her before we left and take a picture with her.
Being kind and trying to make people’s lives a little better is not just something you want to do on vacation. When I came back, I stopped at the coffee shop that I normally write at. This is what they wrote on my cup. It was a very kind gesture, but one I think was earned by doing my best to brighten their days whenever possible. This holds true with your family, friends and coworkers! We should always have the goal of leaving others, and the world around us, a little better than we found it. Being kind and offering the gift of joy is just one of the many ways in which we can do that!
Think of your average day. Who do you interact with? How can you make their day a little better than it was before you came into it? This can be other drivers, coworkers, the cashier at the grocery store to, of course, family and friends. Do you best to be a blessing to others. It will not only make their life better, but bring more joy to yours as well.
The other morning, I had the pleasure of sharing coffee and conversation with my friend Nick. We always have a great time together and discuss many topics deeply. We rarely engage in small talk and I love that.
One subject we discussed was the secret to having a happy life. It will also earn you a great deal of respect from both friends and strangers. You will still have the occasional rough day, but even on those days you will have help keeping your spirits up!
What is the amazing secret that can do all of this? It is being kind to others. Yes, this may sound like a Mr. Rogers idea. It really should be common sense. When I trained people both as a bartender and a postal worker, I stressed the importance of being kind.
Many people view being kind as something you do for others. That is only half true. When you are kind at work, whether that is to your coworkers or customers, it helps the day go by smoother and quicker. It is true that not everyone will reciprocate, but let that be their problem. Do not let it stop your kindness.
As you read this, I will be on vacation with my lovely lady in Jamaica. We will be kind to everyone we meet. Why? First, everyone deserves kindness. It is how humans should treat each other. Second, it will have people treating you better. Think of your own experience. If you meet someone that is always kind and grateful approach you, how will you greet them? Will you be more inclined to treat them kindly? Of course you will.
Here is the added bonus. When you do have a bad day, people notice. Not only that, but they miss the usual cheer and kindness. This will make them inclined to work to cheer you up. Can you imagine if this is the interaction with everyone you met? That is just some of the reasons to be kind. What other benefits can you think of that being kind brings?
Yesterday morning I stopped at a local Starbucks for a cup of coffee. The gent ahead of me, a middle-aged man, spun at looked at me and yelled, “I thought you were buying coffee!” Never met the man before, but I did admire his pluck. He seemed like a rather jovial gent and I had a few extra bucks, so I bought the man’s coffee.
He went on to introduce himself as “Jeff from Saint Louis”. Informed me his construction company was building a bank across the street. He told me when he travels he likes to get gift cards for random people such as servers and flight attendants. We both mused how good it feels to treat a stranger to a little hospitality. He shook my hand and excused himself back to his construction site.
I approached the counter and after a few minutes of banter with the manager, placed myorder. As I presented my app for payment she grinned. “Jeff paid for your coffee.” She said. What do you know? That sneaky Jeff. Ran off before I was able to thank him.
Here is the fun behind this story. Jeff and I will probably never meet again in life. In a matter of a few weeks we might not even remember we met. However, both of us gave each other an unexpected smile. A simple act of reciprocal kindness that made each other’s day. It is how the world, and the people in it, should operate
Next time you have the chance, pay for someone’s coffee, or muffin or whatever. It might cost you a few bucks, but the unexpected look of joy on a stranger’s face will bring joy to both of your hearts!
For any of you who follow this blog at all, you have heard me mention the city i live in – West Allis. Recently, this city was named “Strongest city in America”. What does that mean exactly? The award was based on several categories. Including addressing difficult issues such as affordable housing and transportation. Other areas that were looked at were investments in infrastructure and planning for the future.
You can see 2 pictures of my wonderful city above. The categories do not fully capture what makes this city great. We have a mayor dedicated to bringing in new business and making everyone feel welcome. He even has occasional ‘coffee with the mayor’ where he takes questions and meets with the community. Leadership such as this, along with other great city officials are inspiring.
Along with the inspiring local leaders, there are many business owners, new and old, that give West Allis a local feel. From our local breweries and coffee shops, to the cozy new book store pictured above, businesses in this town work hard to earn your business.
West Allis is also full of great community groups. We have many neighborhood associations, and my mother even belongs to the West Allis Woman’s Club. The latter group gives annual scholarships to deserving local students. That sure is a sign of a great community!
I saved the best thing about this city for last – the people! Remember when I mentioned the Woman’s Club giving away scholarships to students? To raise money for that, they have a luncheon with a raffle of items donated by local businesses. So many stepped up to help including a $500 donation from the piercing business pictured above. Bars, restaurants and jewelry stores all donated.
Years ago I won a poetry contest in which I wrote a poem about what makes a city great. You can see that poem in the pavement behind our local library. In it, the point is made that it is not the buildings or the steeples that make a city great, but the people in it. I think West Allis has proven that to be the case and they should be proud of their title as America’s Strongest City.
We touched on this a few posts ago with a few specific examples. In more general terms, we should just treat each other with far more kindness and compassion. We never know the complete story behind anyone. We certainly would not want anyone to know our complete story either. Keeping that in mind, why would we leap to conclusions about another?
It can be easy to be convinced by media, or even by social media what is the truth about a group of people. Do your best to be reserved in your judgement. I cannot think of any group, be they social, political or anything else, where everyone is the same. I am not sure what I find more appalling, the fact that the powers that be think we would believe everyone in a group is exactly the same, be that good or bad, or the fact that many of us do believe such a thing.
Next time you see or hear someone telling you a story about an entire group of people, ask yourself a simple question. If you could gather any group of people would they be exactly the same? Would they all have the same history and the same story? Of course they would not. Understand that people have all sorts of experiences that we may never know. Be patient, be kind.
This may seem counterintuitive, but it really makes sense if you stop and think about it. Take them one at a time. Love is a great example. Love is not always of the romantic type. Although it works the same for both. Love is compassion, understanding and respect. At least it should be. When you love someone, that is show them compassion, understanding and respect, the more likely they are to do it to you. The more that you ‘give it away’ to others, the more people are likely to give it back to you. Will there be some exceptions? Of course. If you wish to have a life filled with more love and understanding, the best way to accomplish this is by giving it away.
Abundance is a little harder to wrap your head around. First thing to note is that abundance is not always money. If you have an abundance of anything, the best thing you can do is share it with those less fortunate. This can be your time, a shoulder to cry on or an ear to sit and listen. The more you do these for others, the more they are likely to reciprocate. Even when it comes to money this is so. Think of someone who picks up the tab when you go out to eat. Would you not want to do the same for them the next time?
The point is that in life if you do something for others, they are more likely to do it for you. Therefore, if you want more of something in your life, it only makes sense to put as much of it as you can into the world. The more you do it, and the more people you do it to, the more it will come back to you. Do not take my word for it. This coming week try putting as much genuine kindness out into the world. If you are already kind, double your efforts. Do this for a week straight and see what happens the following week.
Why is important to keep being kind? It can be tempting to take a “look out for number one” attitude and only worry about ourselves. As we can see by this quote, the power of the kindness we do can not only change lives, it can actually save lives. I can’t think of any more powerful reason than that.
Remember to be kind at every opportunity. There are friends, and maybe even strangers who will never forget it.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 