Today is one of the most important posts I have written in a while. I will be appearing on television on Tuesday to discuss ’10 minutes to change the world’. The link will be shared in a post later in the week. This started me thinking on what we could all do in 10 minutes to change our worlds. The answer reflected something that occurred to me and played perfectly into the subject of my upcoming fourth book. I am going to give all of you a peak at this today.
I am going to share the 10 minutes that changed my world and give you the tools and strategies that I took out of that. These same very tools and strategies you can use to change your own life. The great change occurred in November of 2021. I had a doctor’s appointment earlier in the day, in which I had scheduled my open-heart surgery. In typical Neil fashion, I choose January 11 because the date would be “1-11-22”. That would be a full house. Had to be lucky I deduced. I also choose ‘high-noon’ as the time. Why? Because I always heard them say that in westerns and I thought it sounded cool. This is the way in which I approached one of the most important moments of my life.
That evening I went to the movie with my lovely lady, Margie. The story is explained in detail in my third book, The Beat Goes On, available on Amazon. While there, two thoughts occurred to me. First, never drink several cups of coffee before sitting down to a movie that is over two hours. Second, and the point of this blog, is that this could be the last movie I saw with the woman I love. As I excused myself to attend to the first matter, the second started bouncing around in my head. It was November. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, and this could be the last one I enjoyed. Same with Christmas, and most importantly, my lady’s birthday which falls on December 15th.
All of these thoughts had been precipitated by a comment the doctor’s nurse had said. She informed us that due to where they were operating, there was a chance of death or stroke. Seeing my look of concern, she reassured me, “It would be a mini stroke in anything.” I asked if it would also be a mini death. This was said in jest, but turned out to be more accurate than I would have thought. Again, that full story is in the book.
While attending to my business in the men’s room, these thoughts bounced around my head. Here is a fact that may surprised you, and certainly surprised me – it did not scare me. What it did was create a sense of urgency. I realized that someone had set a timer for two months and pushed go. I thought of the hourglass and the sand slowly, but continually, running from top to bottom. If there were only two months left to spend with my lady, how could I make her understand and feel the intense love that I had for her? What memories did I want to create? How could I make those holidays, and her birthday, as special and memorable as they could be? Then, I started to think about the other people in my life. How could I do the same for them? What about those of you who read this website? How could I continue to put forth a positive influence even after I was gone? My head started spinning.
As I returned to my seat next to Margie, my brain was working overtime. My fingers were drumming on the seat. Margie, half annoyed and half curious, asked what was wrong. I told her I would tell her after the movie. Unable to focus on the superheroes fighting to save the earth, I gave myself over to my thoughts. When the credits were rolling, I had to be nudged awake by my beautiful lady. I explained all about my time being fleeting and the urgency to create the best memories and convey the most love. She began by assuring me she believed I was not going to die. Seeing this did not satisfy my spinning thoughts, she said something quite simple yet profound. “Let us make a list of everything we want to do, and everything you want to make people feel.”
I began to appreciate the relativity of time. Waiting 2 months for my upcoming Bahamas vacation has seemed like forever. Having two months to think of, plan and carry out life-lasting memories? That seemed such a fleeting time it was next to impossible. As I began to work on all of this, a sobering, but powerful, thought occurred to me. We are all going to die. That may sound negative, but it really shouldn’t. It is a fact. Every single one of us has an internal hourglass that has sand running from the top to the bottom. Here is an interesting fact. None of us can see how much sand is in the top. Whether we are 18 or 80, it can be a lot, or only a few grains. There are certainly facts that can slow the sand. We can enjoy a healthy diet, exercise regularly, and most importantly, manage our stress effectively. This, however, is no guarantee. In my case, I was working out four days a week, meditating every night and still had an aneurism. This was due to a deformed heart valve I was born with that I never even knew I had. This was the same condition that killed the writer of the the movie and play Rent. He never even knew he had it. Just dropped over. That is why we should all be aware of that hourglass.
Look around at those in your life. What if you did not have tomorrow to tell them how you truly feel? You could be gone tomorrow or they could. Sobering, yes. True? absolutely. The sand is running out for all of us. We can deny it, or “not think of such dark things”, but that does not change the reality of them. What is the secret to living an amazing life in the time that we have left? I say it is by embracing those very facts!
It is the fact that life ends that makes it so valuable. If we lived forever, there would be no urgency and little value to what we did daily. The fact that life is fleeting, and can end at any second, makes it priceless. This holds true for both us and everyone we come in contact with. If there is one thing all of humanity has in common, it is the fact that we will all die. Here is what I propose. Embrace that fact. Start by thinking of what you want to be remembered for. I often suggest people take a shot at writing their own eulogy. What do you want those you love to say, and more to the point, remember about you? Then, look at if you are indeed that person. If not, what actions can you take to change that and become who you want to be? Is it something you need to say? Something you need to do? Realize the time is passing. Get yourself an hourglass to provide a poignant reminder.
There is some debate as to Crazy Horse actually saying this. However, the point is this. Live every day that if you were to die, you would be at peace with that fact. Go to sleep at night with your soul at peace. That means to make sure your loved ones understand how much you care. It means having your legacy in place so that those who come after you will continue to learn from the person you are.
