This post may sound a little doom and gloom to some of you, but I ask you to hold your judgements until the end. Every great thing in life we are working on doing is a war. I am not always fond of this comparison, but let me explain. I recall hearing my lovely lady sing the song “Love is a battlefield” by Pat Benatar the other day. I recall my thought that night was the same as every time I heard that song. “That is a pretty sad comparison.” Your love should not feel like a battlefield. In some ways, it really is. So it the relationship with you and your children. It is the same when it comes to your career or your mission in life. They are all wars and we are on the battlefield.
Here is an even more dark thought – we will never win these wars. Why? Because they will never end until we do. Are you working to be the best parent you can be? When do you finish that? Is there one thing you can wake up and do that will make you a great parent for the rest of time? If you are a rockstar parent today, does that mean you can ignore your children the rest of the week? If you are a loving and caring spouse today, but you do not consider your partner’s feelings tomorrow, do you think they will refer to you as the best thing that ever happened to them? I am guessing not. These are all wars. They will never end. I do have great news, however.
The good news is that wars are made up of individual battles. In the case of our quest to be the perfect parent, the only way to win that war is to win the battle of today. Did you love enough? Did you listen enough? Were you understanding or condescending? How about being a perfect spouse? Yes, love is a battlefield. There is winning the battle of support for your partner when the world seems to be beating them down. There is the battle of humbling yourself when you make a mistake. You can really apply this to any area of your life. The war will only be decided when are days are up. In the meantime, all we can do is kick ass on the battlefield. The bad news is you may also lose some battles. You may feel disconnected with your kids. You may have a misunderstanding with your spouse. That is fine. You have not lost the war. In fact, you may have gained valuable knowledge that will allow you to do better in future battles.
When you find yourself feeling a little defeated, remember the quote from the famous Russian tennis player above. You may have lost a battle, but that does not mean you have lost the war. Love, work and life in general is a battlefield. What we must focus on is winning as many of those battles as we can. Even though I was taken aback by the theme of the song, my little lady sounded like an angel singing it!