Here is something I have always found hard to understand. I listen to someone who has been a ‘victim’ of someone else. Whether that be something that was done to them, said about them or a multitude of other grievances. They relay what terrible thing has been done to them with as much passion as if it were happening to them at that very moment. As is often the case in the world of a DJ, I can look across the room and see the perpetrator laughing and enjoying time with their friends not having a care in the world. On occasion I listen to how this person even intends to ‘get back at them’. To me this always sounds quite immature, but to that I digress. What thought is foremost in my head is “Why on earth are you wasting your energy on this?”
The energy is takes to continue to hold this anger could be used to constructively pursue one of your own goals. By focusing on this action of others that offended you so greatly, not only are you continuing to upset yourself, but you are also taking away time and energy that you could be using to further yourself and your life ambitions. In my mind this makes no sense. Meanwhile, those who have offended you have often moved on. Even if they haven’t, why shouldn’t you? If you continue to let them drag you down, the blame no longer falls on them, but on you.
The same can be said for gossip and negative talk about others. While you are busy telling the world how awful someone is, you are not spending time building the good people in your life up, making new friends and speaking words to empower your own life. You are actually doing two different things to damage yourself by hanging on to this anger. You are both holding on to feelings that are not good and you are taking energy from furthering the good in your life. Keep this in mind next time you wish to hold a grudge or utter a negative word about someone else.