If you are reading this blog when it is first published, chances are it is Monday. The day most of us start the weekly struggle. Sometimes by the end of the day we feel defeated. I know there are days when working with the public, or even just our bosses can make us feel like we took a real beating. You can feel worthless, insignificant, and lonely. At times like these it is important to remember you have already won! What on earth am I talking about? Have I lost my mind so early in the week? We will answer the first question as the second one is still open for debate. Have you ever stopped and thought about all that had to happen just for you to be here? Out of all the millions of sperm cells fighting to give you those chromosomes, and finding that one egg to pair with. Then all the medical challenges faced for you to develop healthy and whole. Were you born with a physical or other medical challenge? Pat yourself on the back even more. You see all of us have survived to see this day. You have made it to read this. We have made it through childhood, through sicknesses, through various dangers on the street. Some of us have made it through wars, or are police making it through dangers every day. Each day we come home to fall asleep and wake to start again we have conquered another day. Sure we may not have had our bosses reports done on time, we may have been late to work, not been the perfect parent or spouse, but we made it. We are undefeated! Each and every day things challenge us. From sickness, financial strain and even loved ones passing away. Each day we make it through we should tell ourselves how proud we are. For countless others who didn’t, we did. We made it through. So when you feel like you may have failed in some capacity, remember even before we tried we were already champions!
Tag: United States
PICK A HERO..
I was reading a very interesting book entitled “Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude” by Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone. In it they give a great idea for staying motivated and providing us an extra tool in living an amazing life. Pick a hero, someone you aspire to. If your goal is to give of yourself to those less fortunate, perhaps a picture of Mother Theresa would be good. If you wish to be a fine leader of men, maybe George Washington or Abraham Lincoln. Even a picture of your father or mother if they represent the person you wish to become. Then when challenges arise, as they must in order for us to grow, pull out your picture. If you have it hanging on the wall so you can see it every day, so much the better. I might suggest hanging it next to your Vision Board. That way you can have a double dose of inspiration right away. If you are not sure what a vision board is I welcome you to read that blog post from earlier. If you need a picture of me, feel free to use the one from my profile page on this site. In all seriousness, when you are troubled, look at your picture and picture what the person you have chosen would do. Of course you may need a few of these ‘heroes’ depending on what advice you are seeking. You may even ask, the picture “Mr. Lincoln (or whoever you have chosen) what would you do?” Now obviously the picture will not answer and if it does, come back when you have had less to drink, or seek professional help. What this does do, however, is get our minds both conscious and subconscious focused on the person, who really just represents a set of ideals and values we aspire to, and our own situation. An answer will not usually come right that second, but sometime throughout the day it may just pop in your head when you least expect it. I cannot tell you how many times a day things just pop in my head, but in this case it will be something useful. You may have to ask several times, or sleep on it, but it will sure keep you focused on the way to act that would best achieve your goals. Enjoy your weekend and I will see you on Monday with more secrets to an amazing life!
IT’S THE STATE FAIR!
Today marks the first day of our state fair. A celebration of food, fun and music. It runs eleven days and is my favorite time of the year. I stressed this in an earlier blog, but each one of us needs such a time. Having something you look forward to each and every year helps us get through the obstacles in life. Whether it is a yearly birthday celebration, a family vacation, a camping trip with friends. Having some event to look forward to keeps us focused on a pleasurable aspect of life, which makes the challenges a little more bearable. I suggest each one of us decide which thing we look forward to and write it down. Make plans involving it. When you have a particularly rough day, spend some time thinking about your fun activity. Maybe look at new tents, create a photo album from years past you can reminisce about all the good times you have had and all the good times to come. Just another way to stay focused on something positive. Oh, and if you see me at the fair and mention this blog post, your next beer is on me! Stay positive my friends!
Playing at the soda fountain
Seeing as today is my birthday, I thought I would do a post about one of the important elements of an amazing life. Maintaining a youthful spirit. Who wouldn’t want to remain young forever? Less aches and pains, fewer responsibilities, more fun. Well, there are lots of ways from a physical standpoint to remain young. Some we looked at in previous posts, some we will look at in future posts. Today, however, we are going to look at the youthful spirit. Remember when everything in life seemed magical? When the park at the end of the block held the promise of day long adventure? How do we manage to recapture that view of the world while remaining serious responsible adults? Part of that is realizing we can’t do both. I have a few stories to demonstrate what I am talking about. The other day I was at a local establishment for lunch and was watching a young man about 6 years old mixing up a new flavor between six different soft drink flavors. His mom caught him in the act and ran over to put a stop to it. “Stop that, just pick one and sit down”. The kid did as he was told and sat down the smile gone from his face. I began to ponder, other than the terrible effects of drinking soft drinks, what is the harm in mixing five or six together? Sure it is not the responsible thing to do, but it is sure fun. So I grabbed my cup and proceeded to do just that. Some adults looked at me a little funny, but it took me back to when I was a young man.
My next story comes from this past Saturday. My sister and some friends had taken me out for my birthday. On our way to try some new tikki bar she found some songs she used to like when she, and her friends liked when they were about ten. These were songs that were long past popular and would not be considered ‘cool’ anymore to anyone who may have been listening. They turned them up and started singing and dancing along. To all those who may have been driving by we probably looked crazy, but we were having fun! Not to mention for those few minutes everybody was taken back to the time when that song had come out.
In both of these stories people may look at you as if you are being ‘immature’ or just plain crazy. If it were not for the fact that people already know I’m crazy I might get that more often too. So this week I encourage you to find something you used to do when you were young. Go to the mall and try on every goofy hat at the store while you look in the mirror. If you are still concerned with how people may look at you, try something a little more secret. Go for a walk in the park imagining you are walking in a mystical jungle, or turn on a movie at home from your youth and sing and dance along. It will give you a shot of youthful exuberance that we all need. Who knows, those aches and pains may disappear for a minute or two as well.
THE JOY OF BEING WRONG
One of the most unfounded fears in our society today is this, the fear of being wrong. It amazes me the great lengths some people will go to in order to not have to admit they were wrong. Let us be honest, raise your hand if you have ever made a mistake. I’m sure that almost all of us reading this, and the one writing this have their hand in the air. Ok, now put it down because if you are staring at your computer with one hand in the air people may begin to point and whisper. So what is the point here? We are all aware that everyone has made mistakes and that we are not the first one. So why the big fear of admitting it? Some people are afraid it will make them appear less intelligent. I have even heard it mentioned that some people feel inferior to others when they are wrong. Well today we are not going to discuss how to get rid of those feelings. We instead are going to focus on why being wrong can be such a good thing. Let me begin by sharing a story from my own life. One of the many times I was wrong was when I was asked by the owner of the bar I work at if we should bring in karaoke. Now, I first let him know it is his bar and I would respect any decision he made. That being said, I was dead set against it. I pictures having to listen to hours of the worst singers I have ever heard. I thought every Friday was going to be like the first night of the TV show American Idol. Not only that, every karaoke show I have seen was led by a man who seemed half used car sales man, half Las Vegas lounge act. Showing how much my opinion mattered, or how set in his mind he was, we started karaoke. We also started it on Friday, the only night of the week I am behind the bar. Well, I will be the first to admit how wrong I was. Starting with the singers. They are some of the most fun and passionate people I have had the honor of meeting. A few of them have gone on to become friends. The terrible screeching I feared is more the exception than the rule. Business has picked up, as has the atmosphere of the bar. The people who run the karaoke? Not only do they not try to sell me cars, they are some of the most creative and fun people I have had the honor of working with. They also truly care about the people who come to sing with them.
Here is the point of that story. If I had been right, there would have been no pick up in business. My ear drums would probably be bleeding right now, and I would have lost out on working with and meeting some of the most amazing people I have met in a truly long time.
When we are wrong, it frees us up to consider life in a whole new light. The greater the conviction we had about what we were wrong about, the more freedom and freshness it can bring to our lives. Sometimes I say to myself “if I was wrong about this, what else could I be wrong about?”. So just remember, don’t always be so afraid to admit you are wrong. It can turn out to be one of the greatest blessings, and bring a whole new look to life. Also remember that others share your same fear of being wrong. So when a friend, spouse or co-worker find themselves to be incorrect, be encouraging and inspiring. Just remember, being wrong can actually be something worth celebrating. I am reminded of that every Friday!
CELEBRATE THE VICTORY!
I’d like to share a fun memory with you. Do you have one amazing friend that you feel you have known forever. In fact, what you stop to reflect on your history together it seems hard to imagine you at one point in time didn’t have each other in your lives? Well this is such a story, and it comes with a very valuable lesson as well. I had met a this person through a long time friend of mine. As far as first impressions go it was an interesting one. In an attempt to cheer up our friend who was having relationship problems she went on to tell stories of why she didn’t care for men and how insensitive they can be. Being the only man at the table I learned it was probably wise just to not say anything at this point then say the wrong thing. As it turns out throughout our friendship I have made up for that plenty of times by saying the wrong thing, quite often at the wrong time. I dare not repeat the parting words of this conversation, but it did end with a toast.
Fast forward a few weeks and the same friend asks if I would like to me her and a few lady friends out for martinis. Well never being one to turn down such an offer I was excited to go. Well, this poor friend was still having relationship issues shall we say. As I got there I noticed the same girl who had voiced her displeasure with my gender was in attendance. She seemed extra joyful this evening. I was later to learn this is her normal state of being and the ‘man hating’ if you will was just an attempt to make our friend feel better about the certain situation. I soon learned part of the reason for the joyous atmosphere was they were celebrating my friend Angela getting a new job. Now maybe it is because I don’t have friends who either switch jobs or are too worried about being employed, but I had not been to such a celebration for a while. Not that I need a reason to enjoy a good martini, but I began to think of reasons I could be celebrating. First I started with the obvious, I was with 3 beautiful women drinking martinis. Then I thought about the fact that I am employed, I was meeting new friends…the list went on. Now I know this sounds close to finding reasons to be grateful and it is, but there is a very distinct difference. I am grateful daily for my beautiful friend Angela who was the one celebrating that evening. I am grateful for all the adventures we have had. Every time we get together (although those times are rare now that she moved out of state) we always seem to be celebrating something. That is truly how life should be, one continuous celebration. So next time you find yourself with a cocktail in your hand, or a cup of coffee, tea or whatever else you may be enjoying, even if you are by yourself, raise your glass and propose a toast. Even if all you can manage is “here’s to me because I am amazing” celebrate my friends because every day of this life we enjoy is a gift. I want to thank Angela for showing me that and for providing me one of the greatest gifts to celebrate our friendship
What language do you speak?
The voice in my head asked me a very interesting question the other day. Which is amazing because usually it is mentioning something about rum or pizza. Terrible vices aside, the question was “How many different languages are there in the world?”. To skip you from having to leave this site and head to Google, the answer, though debated is in the neighborhood of 6500. Why on earth is this relevant, and what does it have to do with living an amazing life? That is another great question and one that leads us to my next point. In the past how many things have we tried learning that just never ‘clicked’? I know I have quite a few. English language for one, which is ironic considering my book is almost complete. Maybe playing a certain musical instrument? Cooking a certain dish? Math? Science? History? Some of us just find a way to get through the subject and hope we never have a call to use it later in life. Imagine if we had applied this same logic when we were learning to walk, or to talk? There are some people I may speculate did give up, but that is a topic for another day. Truth is we just kept at it, often approaching the subject from every different angle. I began to ponder how this related to learning how to transform your life. Now before you think I am going to tell you to read a book on motivation written in Zulu when you live in Peru let us slow down for a minute. Think of how many books you have seen or heard of on how to improve your life? How many different life coaches are out there? We both know there are a lot in both categories. Why? If there is a magical secret do we need both “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” as well as “Think and Grow Rich”? If one person could teach us how to succeed in life to we need both the late Zig Ziglar as well as Tony Robbins? The answer in short is ‘yes’. To explain why, let me ask you another question. Do they all agree? To they all have the same plan and state it the same way? You know the answer is no. So who is right? They all are. Then again, they all are wrong too. Before you think I started listening to the rum voice in my head let me explain. We all are unique creatures. We all have had unique experiences. That is why it is important to expose ourselves to as many different voices as we can. I can think of no better field where this is so evident than self-improvement. Haven’t you ever been having a conversation with a group of people and had to ask someone “What are they trying to say?” When your friend explains it, suddenly you discover that person was speaking a language you know and they are not crazy. Ok, at least it should work that way most of the time. The difference here is just the words being used. So remember to do yourself the service of exploring as many paths to motivation as you can and go with the one, or ones, that work for you. I hope I will be one of them, but if not that is ok too. Just search and discover the voice that speaks to you!
FREEDOM
Today is July 4th. If you live here in the United States it is a day we celebrate our freedom as a country. That is not what this post is about though. No I am talking about a universal freedom. A freedom that we all have. One that is in the possession of everyone whether you live in Brazil, Greenland, Egypt or California. This freedom, however, is seldom pursued or even used by most of us. What is this freedom I speak of? It is our freedom of mind, freedom of thought and freedom of feeling. There are many people who let circumstances control their minds. “Well I would be happy if only this political party wasn’t in”. They let things they read, words other people say, political ideology, beliefs of the masses dictate what happens inside their own heads. Sure it stings when someone says or does something mean or vindictive to us. Remember, we cannot control circumstances. As the saying goes “What people say and do to us is their business. How we react to it is ours” Like liberty and freedoms on a national level, personal liberty is an aspiration to be fought for at all costs. We have been told how to think, how and what to feel since we were young. It is our duty to decide what we believe and what thoughts we will allow to rule our daily thinking. It is time to begin the struggle for mental and spiritual independence from negative and limiting thoughts and beliefs. For no country can be free, no people can be free if first their minds are not free.
BE CAREFUL WHO YOU BELIEVE…
As the week draws to a close I am honored to share with you this inspiring story. A customer of mine at the post office has a son who had a stroke at the age of 48. As a result of his medical condition he lost his business, his home and his marriage fell apart as well. I know, not very inspiring, but it gets better. One of the first things doctors did was send him to a physical therapy unit. Based on the information they had, and the observations they made the first thing they said to this gentleman was “you will never walk again”. Now he is a very rational, practical man. His mother, not so much. She said to the doctors, “In this family we do not accept the word can’t and never”. Her son trying to calm her insisted these men were doctors, and they knew what they were talking about. He also told her he would learn to adjust. Well based on this diagnoses his therapy kind of evened out. This went on for the last four years. His mother kept saying “I see him walking I tell you”. Her son, either frustrated with his condition, or upset with seeing his mother’s false sense of hope, actually began to tell her to stop saying that. Well through a twist of fate, the hospital put out an article announcing they were starting a new physical therapy unit and were looking for volunteers. You can imagine the speed in which his mother signed up. In fact, she told me “he was patient number one”. Well with the new treatment came a new doctor. This physician reviewed his case and said “I see no reason your son cannot walk” he began by having him stand for 15 minutes a day. Then yesterday she came running in to tell me her son, who had been basically bed-ridden for the last 4 years, took his first 3 steps with a cane. His goal is now to walk into his old physical therapy unit to “show them his new cane”
While this story is very inspiring, there is also a valuable lesson to be learned. When I asked her why she thinks his condition changed so rapidly she replied “he just stopped believing he couldn’t walk”. Now this man had every right to have this belief. He was viewed by doctors, experts in the medical field. These men knew more than he did, yet they were wrong. Now do not misunderstand me, I am not by any means putting down those in the medical profession. They attend many years of schooling and their scope of knowledge is beyond what you or I can understand. One thing they can’t see is the power of belief. This man’s mind accepted his condition so his body did too. Do you have any beliefs that you have accepted about yourself or life as true? Maybe some that came from experts in that field? I’m not telling you to not take the advice of knowledgeable experts, just to keep an open mind. Do not only focus on a miracle, expect it! After all, as this story illustrates, miracles happen every day.
WHO THE HECK ARE YOU??
This may sound like a rather silly question. I hear lots of you saying “I’m Bob, I’m Mary”. No, that is your name. I am talking about your identity. Who we are is how we define ourselves. So I ask you again, who are you? Notice what is the first thing that comes to your mind? For a lot of us, it is our occupation. We may not realize it, but we often identify ourselves by where we work or what kind of work we do. Especially if we have done that job for a while. I learned this the hard way. After giving the postal service 15 great years, I was faced with the real prospect of losing my position for nothing more than office politics. Suddenly I felt like, “Now what? What will happen to me?” Those feelings of fear were because after so many years I identified myself as ‘Neil the postal worker’. Lucky for me I had a few friends I could talk to who knew me before I worked for the postal service. I had to ask Jason, Jenny, and Russ, my good friends, what was I like 16 years ago before the I started working there. After a few jokes about stress levels I came to realize there was a Neil before the United States Postal Service and there will be one after as well. Here we are a few years later and I find myself in the same situation. What is different now is I realize I am not my occupation. So who am I? More importantly, who are you? We are who we choose to define ourselves to be. I heard something recently that may help to show the example I am trying to get at. “There is a great difference between doing something stupid, feeling stupid, and being stupid” We have all done something stupid in our lives. Some more than others. We have all felt stupid at times. When we say we are stupid, that creates a whole different mentality. If you say you are stupid, or overweight, or lazy, whatever term you use it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I’m really good at this for saying “I am a procrastinator”. Now if I hold that as a belief or even more so as a conviction, my actions will have to be in line with that identity. So really think how you define yourself. Take a moment to write a few beliefs about yourself that you hold. See which ones serve you and which do not. If you are like me and have one or two that may be holding you back it is time to switch them up. Write down the person you wish to become. Carry it with you and read it throughout the day. At first it may seem like you are lying to yourself especially if it is the opposite of what you currently believe to be true of yourself. Stick with it. You didn’t develop the beliefs you have about yourself overnight and you are not going to change them overnight either. So let us all redefine ourselves and become the people we desire to be!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 