DON’T GIVE UP. CHANGE THE FOCUS!👀

Here is a quick reminder. Keep your focus on where your are going, not what you have to overcome to get there. By focusing on the end goal, your journey feels like…well…a journey. When you focus on each obstacle, life can feel like an endless series of obstacles. It can destroy motivation. Keeping your focus on the the prize can give you that little boost of passion and excitement that comes in handy when things seem darkest.

I suggest using as many senses and reminders of your end goal as you can. Have a picture somewhere you see regularly. Create an affirmation that fires you up emotionally. Have it printed out in several locations. Read it when you are feeling your motivation start to slip. Write out what your typical day will be like after your goal is reached. Read that several times a week to keep the image sharp in your mind. These tools will keep you focused on where you are going and the obstacles will just become part of the journey.

What methods do you use to stay focused on your goals? Share with us so we can all expand our ability to succeed.

CAN YOU SEE A YELLOW CAR ðŸš•?

We have discussed this many times before. This is not only the key to the Law of Attraction, there is real science behind it. Using the part of the brain called the reticular activating system, which filters what the brain deems important, makes all of the difference in the world. Anecdotally, we see it when we buy a new car or outfit, and suddenly see many people with the same car or outfit. It is just what your brain decided was important.

If we know this happens with cars and outfits, why do we not take advantage of it for more important things? When I urge people to focus on what they have to be grateful for, or what is positive in their lives, this is the reason why. It is not being ignorant to what may not be going well. Indeed, we can use that to better clarify what it is we do want. What it does do for us is reveal more and more things that we have to be grateful for or that are a positive in our lives. It also works in reverse. Every have a bad day at work and when you come home you notice every little annoying thing that your spouse does? Normally, these wouldn’t even bother you. Perhaps you even snap at them when they don’t deserve it? How about if you have a disagreement with your spouse before work? How is the day at the office going to be that way? Productive? Singing kumbaya with your coworkers? I would imagine not.

Enough doom and gloom here. Let us practice thinking positive! What happens when your partner starts the day by showing you a loving gesture? You go into work and don’t even mind if the boss is yelling all day. You are just looking forward to coming home to more of that loving feeling. Maybe you have a great day and work and a relaxing drive home? Then if your spouse seems to be a little more sunshine challenged than you, it might bother you as much. You might even be able to lift them up as well. Why? You were feeling good.

Take having a good start to the day. Maybe you get a hug from that special someone? Maybe your dog snuggles up to you with a cute look on their face? Maybe you just had the perfect cup of coffee? Whatever it is, you leave the house with a smile on your face. You start to drive to work and notice songs you like on the radio. Oh, and what is that new little place to eat that you have never tried? Wow, the trees sure are a pretty shade of green. This may all sound a bit silly, but it is really how our brain works. The crazy thing is that we leave this up to chance most of the time. I did a video on my YouTube channel a few years ago called “Waking up in neutral” We need to act more in life, and react less. Set a determination to have a good day. Read something positive and inspiring. Recite some empowering affirmations. Have your happy playlist set to go. Whatever it takes. Start your day on a positive note and commit to staying focused on the positive. Life will feel like magic.

WAKE UP THIS WAY FOR SUCCESS!🤑

To the more cynical of you, this notion of expecting something wonderful to happen may sound ridiculous. I can hear your voices as I type this, “Even if I do, life will still be the same.” or “Life won’t change just because I am expecting it to.” I would have to agree with both of those statements. Life happens. Flat tires happen. Turning off your alarm while you are still half asleep happens. Going to Starbucks and finding they are out of coffee happens. (this actually happened to me and I share the story in my first book) If life will not change when we alter our expectations, then why do it? That is a very fair and legitimate question. Life will not change – but our experience of life will.

When we choose to expect, and therefore focus on, the positive, that is what we see. When you are expecting something wonderful to happen, you will be better able to notice when it does. Here is the truth – almost everything that happens in our lives can be something good. We get a flat tire? We might be late, but it will give us a forced opportunity to slow down. It will give us a chance to practice our tire changing skills. Maybe it will provide us a chance to use that roadside assistance we pay for. A cavity, as painful and inconvenient as it can be, is a great reminder to take care of our teeth.

Life is not all about finding the good in the struggles. In fact, life if full of miracles! Most of them we never notice. The fact that we can use a device that fits in our pocket to serve as an alarm clock to wake us up, a source of news to keep us informed, a music player to lift our spirits, a GPS system to get us where we are going, a camera to take pictures of where we are going and a platform to tell people around the world where we have been is a miracle. How about the wind? We can use it to power our cities. It can tell us when our neighbors are grilling out. It can further our appreciation of a beautiful flower. How about our ability to communicate and encourage others, even if they are half a world away? I always enjoy my communication with my friend in Italy. He provides valuable feedback on these very posts.

The fact that our bodies can turn food, water and air into energy, thoughts and motion. It is not only a chemical process, it is nothing short of a miracle. The happy dog we see in the car next to us. The smile from a stranger, or even better yet, from someone we love. The ability to taste the food we love. The joy that comes from hearing our favorite song. The feeling of love we get when someone hugs us. You may say I am choosing to look at the world through rose-colored glasses. You may be right, but does that make any of those statements less true? How would looking at all of those things as the miracles they truly are make you feel? What if you spent an afternoon, or even an entire day, trying to spot and appreciate everything good in your life? How would you feel at the end of the day?

The cynical are right that none of this would change the world. Here is the powerful secret to an amazing life – it would change the world for you! By taking control of our focus, we have the ability to create our world. Every day something wonderful does happen to us. What happens on the days we miss it? Will there be days when we feel nothing wonderful happened? Yes, we will still have bad days. We are human. When we chose to focus on, and expect, the wonderful, those bad days will be the exception and not the rule. In my third book, I ended it with a quote from Einstein. I think it sums up what we have been discussing here today. I invite you to read and ponder it. I also invite you to take me up on that challenge of trying to find everything positive you can for an afternoon, or even an entire day.

HOW DO YOU SEE THE WORLD?🌏

Which one are you?

Look at the picture above. You can see the difference in perspective. Both men find themselves locked up in prison. One can see only the bars and what is holding him prisoner. The other focuses on the beauty right outside their cell.

Most pessimists, or even realist, as they sometimes prefer to call themselves will point out this does not change the fact that both men are still in jail. That is true. Let us take a look at what both men are experiencing.

First the man painting the bars. He undoubtedly is focused on what is holding him back. This will have him feeling oppressed and depressed. He is venting this thoughts by creating a painting and visual reminder of the same. This will further expand his feelings and make his sentence and more arduous one.

Next, the man who painted the nature scene. He is focused on the beauty he can see even if it is not directly in his environment. Although stuck in a cell he is thinking of the birds, the trees and the sunshine. He is creating a work of art that can help take him there mentally.

Even if they stay in jail for the same amount of time, whose prison sentence do you think we be worse? It is the same with us and life. Are you focused on what is holding you back? Are you constantly talking or posting on social media about it? How does that make you feel? Maybe you are like the second fellow and focused on the beauty of life even if it is just outside your current reality. Thinking about that tropical vacation or cool new sports car, even though they are not yours yet. How does that make you feel?

The difference in the quality of our lives is more greatly determined by our internal feelings than our external situations. Focus on where true change comes from.

HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE?🤔

Middle of the week! In the middle of all our hard work, let us take a second, catch our breath and refocus. Most of us, myself included, do very well at focusing on what needs fixing and what needs to get accomplished. It should be apparent why this would be helpful.

Today, however, let us take just a few minutes for ourselves. Stop whatever we are doing (don’t worry this will be over quickly) and focus on what is going right in our lives. Maybe we are grateful we do not live in a place where there is a war going on. Maybe we are grateful to be healthy. How about the wonderful people in our lives that we love and care about?

Just do this for 2 or 3 minutes. Really do it. Stop whatever else you are doing and just think about everything that is going well and does not need fixing. Can you see how powerful this would be to do on your lunch break? Maybe even while you use the restroom? How about while you wait in line? A quick change in focus can refresh our attitude and our spirit!

JUST TURN IT OFF📺

With all of the negative news on television, it is easy to get trapped and bogged down with feelings of negativity, overwhelm, and hopelessness. Ask yourself this very important question – what has watching, reading or listening to something negative and fear mongering ever got you? Chances are it was the three emotions mentioned earlier.

These negative stories come to us everywhere! On our television sets, on our computer screens, they even go with us courtesy of news alerts on our cell phone! My suggestion? Turn them all off! Replace them with something positive and motivational.

You may say, “but Neil, I need to know what is going on in the world!” Two things of note here. If it is important enough, it will make its way to you anyway. Also, it is more important to focus on what is going on in YOUR WORLD. You can always get a weather app to know if it is going to rain. Why let others decide what you are going to focus on? Especially, if it doesn’t bring you joy? Just turn it off!

A QUICK REMINDER ON YOUR SECRET POWER

THIS IS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE POWER OF FOCUS. “WHATEVER THE MIND OF MAN CAN CONCEIVE AND BELIEVE, IT CAN ACHIEVE” WHAT ARE YOU FOCUSED ON? DO YOU BELIEVE IT WILL COME TRUE FOR YOU IN TIME?

I SUGGEST THAT WHILE WE WORK ON ACHIEVING ANY WORTHWHILE GOAL, WE ALSO WORK ON INCREASING OUR FOCUS AND BELIEF. BY DOING SO, THE ACHIEVEMENT WILL COME QUICKER AND WITH LESS EFFORT. WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND DOING TO INCREASE FOCUS AND BELIEF? SHARE IN THE COMMENTS BELOW.

WHEN TIMES ARE CRAZY, HOW DO YOU STAY FOCUSED AND MOTIVATED?

As an author one of the most difficult parts of the world today is that coffeeshops are closed. I usually write most of these blogs and my books at Starbucks or some other local coffee shop. Lately, I have been putting my K-cup brewer through the paces while doing the same to Margie as well. It can be easier to get distracted at home, especially with such a silly and beautiful lady in the next room or even sitting next to me. So how do I keep my focus and motivation to write when the world is so crazy? There are a few answers I am going to share with you so that you may be able to use them to keep motivated on whatever projects you may be working on in your own life.

The first thing to establish is your ‘why’. Why is it that you do what you are passionate about? For me it is helping others see the beauty in themselves, others and the world around them. When life seems to be going good, I want to share that with others. When life seems to be crazy and difficult like it is now, that makes me feel like what I do is even that more important and I am driven that much more. Find your ‘why’. It is one of the most important discoveries you will make in your life. I promise you.

Another area to explore is what benefits you gain by doing what it is that you do. In the case of writing, I find an area of creative release. Not to mention I get to enjoy a tasty hot beverage in my wonderful Winnie-the-Pooh coffee mug. Remember the beautiful lady we discussed earlier? You can see her creative creation in the upper right corner of the picture. As I sat and wrote, she sat and sketched. It is important that in a relationship, even though your release might be different, to allow room for each other to explore. It is fun if you can occasionally do this together, but remember to respect the fact that everyone needs their time. Another great benefit I achieve by writing is I am able to connect with people around the globe. This excites me more than I can convey. I love meeting people from different locations and cultures and learning what they have to teach me. The fact that I can do this all while inspiring and motivating them is amazing! That may be the greatest benefit of all – happiness. Whether it is my joy at connecting with them, or their joy that I can play a part in, the fact that together we create and share joy makes the world a better place.

I hope these two items will help you to stay focused and motivated despite what may be happening around you. I would love to hear more of what you do to stay focused and motivated in the comments below. By sharing our great ideas with each other we can all be more productive and happy together!

JUST A FRIENDLY REMINDER

Just a friendly reminder to focus on what you want and not what you do NOT want.

Should you start to imagine what could go wrong, or reflect on what has gone wrong in the past, begin right away to switch your focus to your dreams and your goals.

Spend a little time each day lost in a positive daydream. Not only will it move you closer to your goals, but it will feel great as well.

IT REALLY WORKS… BOTH WAYS

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Law of attraction…it seems to be everywhere these days. Since the movie The Secret came out, everyone seems to think they are an expert in this field. The truth about the law of attraction, or LOA as it is sometimes known, is that the more we learn, the more there is to learn.

Most people understand the Law of attraction to be in the simplest of terms, you think about something and it happens. That is the first mistake. That is not at all how it works…exactly. A better way to word how this universal law works is whatever you focus on expands. I find a great example of this in people who are, in my humble opinion, overly political. You know the people, they fill your social media and conversation with how terrible one political party is while believing the other can do no wrong. Let’s face it, if it were that simple elections wouldn’t be necessary. These people, while focused on there beliefs seem to find a treasure trove of examples. It doesn’t matter what their beliefs are either. They tend to turn into one type of news channel, they read only one kind of publication.

Recently, I have noticed a different type of law of attraction phenomenon. There are some of my female friends who are having the hardest time meeting a decent man to date. Even those that show promise end up having some deep dark secret addiction or turn out to be someone else completely from who they are pretending to be. These ladies are decent hard-working people that I believe honestly would enjoy a great relationship. Why are they having no luck? After every bad relationship experience they are sharing posts about it online. They find memes or quotes that reflect how terrible men are. They share news stories about men who cheat and some even add words of their own such as “See all men are the same.” or “Romance doesn’t exist anymore.” It seems rather silly to say all people of any race, country, creed much less gender are the same. By instilling that belief in themselves their minds will subconsciously be focused on finding examples to support that.

Much like when you buy a new car and start to see that car everywhere. Imagine if you focus on the inferior gentleman you have recently shared a date with, what do you think you will find everywhere? This is based on science. It is using a part of our brain called the reticular activating system it is the portion of our brains that tell us what is important. Just like the car you just purchased. Everyone didn’t just run out and buy the same car, they were there all of the time. Your brain just decided it was important to notice. Are there other cars on the road you are not noticing? Sure because you did not recently purchase those models. Are there examples of gentleman who treat their spouses with the respect they deserve? Of course there are, but if you believe there are not, your brain will actually make them invisible to you. That certainly decreases the chances you will wind up dating one.

Speaking of putting our brains to use for us instead of against us, there is another example of using this in reverse. These same wonderful, well-meaning ladies who are dismayed at the lack of respect given to them by men, will be the first on the dance floor when songs with lyrics that are very demeaning to women are on. “I just like the beat.” they will say. “It is just music, I don’t even really listen to the lyrics.” This may be true on a conscious level, but remember there are two parts of the brain. Subconsciously, your brain is hearing these lyrics. They are not only further examples of men who treat women terribly, but often can desensitize individuals to how hurtful this can be. “I would never let a man say those things to me that they say in that song.” I have heard people say. By purchasing and promoting that music you are not only giving these messages a pass, but doing a disservice to women, and gentleman who believe woman deserve equal respect. The more the younger generation is exposed to this kind of material, the more they may feel it is acceptable. Young men need to understand the proper way a women deserves to be treated and young women need to know it is important to hold them accountable.

This, of course, works in both ways. Young men listening to this type of thing may get the wrong impression it is ok to talk about, or worse yet, treat women with a lack of respect. It is not. If your relationships are not what you would like. If you keep meeting all of the wrong kinds of people, look closely at what you are putting out as well as what you are surrounding yourself with. It is far better to focus on what you want, rather than what you want to avoid. Look for examples of the type of man or woman you wish to be with. Where are you most likely to find these people? Go there. Also, be careful what you put in your surroundings. Even though you may think it might not affect you on the conscious level, remember your subconscious mind is always working.

Most importantly, treat each other with respect. Regardless of who we are, we all deserve to be treated with respect and honored. Make sure you do that for others and make sure you do not tolerate anything less for yourself.