THE #1 REASON TO NOT MARRY SOMEONE

Today’s article was inspired by a server who shared a little bit more than expected with Margie and I at breakfast the other day. Let me tell you there are no shortage of red flags when it comes to relationships. Addiction, abuse and many other issues should tell you that this might not be the person you should pursue a long-term connection with. We are not talking about what should prevent you from getting into a relationship, or even what should tell you to leave a relationship. We are solely talking about what you should not do when deciding whether or not to pledge your life to someone. If you do this, it will be a guarantee for failure.

There are many reasons not to marry for. You should not marry for money. You should not marry for position. You should not marry someone just to make your parents happy, or anyone else for that matter. Those should be fairly obvious. The #1 reason you should not marry someone is for potential. Countless people get into relationships decidedly unhappy with a certain aspect of their partner. They either believe they will ‘grow out of it’ or worse that ‘they can change them’. If you base your connection on your ability to change anyone but yourself, you are doomed to failure. All meaningful and lasting change comes from within. If you are forced to change because of someone else, you are unhappy at best and resentful at worse. Yes, they could also grow, evolve and correct whatever it is that does not please you. Then again, they could not. Then what? Will you live your life fighting about this same issue?

This is not to say that people cannot change and grow. If you are reading a site like this, I would assume that is the path you are pursuing. Growth, is not only nonlinear, it is also not guaranteed. Even with the best of intentions, growth may not happen. Therefore, you should find someone you love for who they are at their core. If they grow, even better. If you grow together that is even better yet. What should not happen is to base your relationship on the expectation of growth.