Tag: Recreation

THE IMPORTANCE OF ACTING LIKE A FOOL

Yesterday we spoke of doing things from our youth and how it can prevent our minds from growing old.  There is another way to keep our minds young and flexible.  Acting crazy.  Now before you think I am going to suggest something that would land you in jail or a nice comfortable padded room with a jacket that fastens in the back, let me explain.  What way to you drive to work?  Have you ever arrived there and not remembered anything about the trip there?  Providing you arrived sober let me explain what happened.  When we travel the same course five or six days a week it becomes almost ingrained in our mind how to get there.  So much so that much of the duty of arriving there safely is delegated to the subconscious mind.  Think of the act of driving itself.  When we first learned to drive our minds were on overdrive. There seemed so much to pay attention to.  How fast are we going, don’t look at that too long, check the review mirror every 8 seconds.  After a few months we pretty much just get into our car and well, drive.  We don’t think about making sure our foot is on the brake before we put it into drive.  It all seems to happen automatically. So what is the problem with this?  Well, when we lose our focus on the present two major things occur. One like physical exercise if we use our brain for the same things over and over again we plateau.  We cease making new pathways in our brain and it fails to get a workout.  How many times has a new business opened up on the path to your work and you fail to notice until somebody else points it out to you?  Just because you are not looking for something you ‘know’ is not there.  The other thing that happens is we fail to appreciate the beauty of the present.  A lot of what we do on a daily basis is nothing short of a miracle and was considered, even by ourselves in the beginning, to be a monumental task.

So, how can we avoid getting in these ruts? How can we keep our brain sharp? I am going to take a lesson from the Shaman.  For those of you who do not know Shamans were spiritual, and sometimes political leaders of indigenous Peoples.  Quite often people would think of them as crazy.  They would do things like walk backwards, eat hot food cold and cold food hot, wear ridiculous outfits, or even say things that seemed to make no sense.  This all was part of the way of keeping the shamans mind from falling into a rut.  Now I am not suggesting you come into work dressed in drag as the boss may frown. What I am suggesting is do a few things to shake up your routine.  Take a slightly different path to work.  Eat a breakfast meal for dinner.  Most of the things we do out of habit are really not all that serious.  It will give your mind a jolt and keep it sharp!

Playing at the soda fountain

Seeing as today is my birthday, I thought I would do a post about one of the important elements of an amazing life. Maintaining a youthful spirit.  Who wouldn’t want to remain young forever?  Less aches and pains, fewer responsibilities, more fun.  Well, there are lots of ways from a physical standpoint to remain young.  Some we looked at in previous posts, some we will look at in future posts.  Today, however, we are going to look at the youthful spirit.  Remember when everything in life seemed magical?  When the park at the end of the block held the promise of day long adventure?  How do we manage to recapture that view of the world while remaining serious responsible adults? Part of that is realizing we can’t do both.  I have a few stories to demonstrate what I am talking about.  The other day I was at a local establishment for lunch and was watching a young man about 6 years old mixing up a new flavor between six different soft drink flavors.  His mom caught him in the act and ran over to put a stop to it.  “Stop that, just pick one and sit down”.  The kid did as he was told and sat down the smile gone from his face.  I began to ponder, other than the terrible effects of drinking soft drinks, what is the harm in mixing five or six together? Sure it is not the responsible thing to do, but it is sure fun.  So I grabbed my cup and proceeded to do just that.  Some adults looked at me a little funny, but it took me back to when I was a young man.

My next story comes from this past Saturday.  My sister and some friends had taken me out for my birthday.  On our way to try some new tikki bar she found some songs she used to like when she, and her friends liked when they were about ten.  These were songs that were long past popular and would not be considered ‘cool’ anymore to anyone who may have been listening.  They turned them up and started singing and dancing along. To all those who may have been driving by we probably looked crazy, but we were having fun!  Not to mention for those few minutes everybody was taken back to the time when that song had come out.

In both of these stories people may look at you as if you are being ‘immature’ or just plain crazy.  If it were not for the fact that people already know I’m crazy I might get that more often too.  So this week I encourage you to find something you used to do when you were young.  Go to the mall and try on every goofy hat at the store while you look in the mirror.  If you are still concerned with how people may look at you, try something a little more secret.  Go for a walk in the park imagining you are walking in a mystical jungle, or turn on a movie at home from your youth and sing and dance along.  It will give you a shot of youthful exuberance that we all need. Who knows, those aches and pains may disappear for a minute or two as well.

PLAYING SOLITAIRE UNTIL ONE

One of the many perks that occurs as you embark down the path of a positive life is this, you start to find inspiration everywhere.  For example, I received a kindle for my birthday last year.  It has saved me tons of room in my already over-crowded personal library.  One of the other fabulous things it comes with is some games to play when you just feel like relaxing.  Solitaire has always been one of my favorites.  I used to play with my Grandmother when she was alive.  We would spend a solid afternoon just relaxing and playing cards.  It was a good time to discuss whatever was on our mind and I am forever thankful for those memories.  So the portable electronic version is quite handy.  No need for a lot of space or a deck of cards.  It keeps the mind sharp and provides entertainment as you wait at the doctor, dentist or other such fun places.  Ok, that is all well and good, but what does this have to do with inspiration?  Great question.  The other day I had noticed a few lessons I can take from the game and apply them to life.  First the hand you are dealt.  Sometimes you begin with a hand that looks like you are doomed before you begin.  Such can be the case in life as well.  We are born in the wrong economy, or on the ‘wrong side of the tracks’.  Many people use these as justifications.  What they really are is excuses.  Much like in the game of solitaire,  a few right moves and we can turn things around completely.  I have started a game thinking there is no way I’ll win this hand, but sure enough I just keep playing and I come out a winner.  So when looking at a situation that seems impossible I think of that card game and remember sometimes the worst deal can lead to the best game.

Another fabulous feature of the electronic version is at the very bottom of the screen it has a little ‘help’ button.  Sometimes I can’t seem to find a move and I think I have lost the game.  I push the little help button and it shows me one little move I may have missed.  Suddenly one move leads to two, two moves lead to three and so on.  Before you know it I have won the game.  Ok, I can only imagine what your thinking.  Unlike the staples commercials or this game, life does not have an ‘easy’ or ‘help’ button.  On the contrary, it does.  These help buttons are called friends, co-workers, books.  Sometimes it even comes in the form of just taking a break or step back and examining our path so far.

So remember, when you think you have been dealt a losing hand or the game has been lost.  Keep playing.  Push the help button if you need to.  You never know when you will come out a winner.

The very last lesson I learned from this one simple game?  Even if you do find yourself a ‘loser’ in one particular game, you can always deal a new hand and start over.  There is always the next game.  May all your games be victories today!

GO AND GROW WITH WHAT YOU KNOW..

We left off last week discussing looking at all we have to be grateful for verses all that is wrong.  We discussed how to do it with other people.  We discussed how to do it with things and situations in our life.  Now we are going to discuss one of the most important ways to apply this principle, with ourselves.  I was hanging out with a very beautiful friend of mine the other night and out of the blue she says “I am so unattractive right now”.  I set down my cup of coffee to try to figure out where this random statement came from.  “Why?” was pretty much all I could muster.  She went on to explain that she thinks nobody would find her attractive because in the last year she has gained 30 pounds.  Now I would have never guessed that to be the case, but taking her at her word I asked her several questions.  Do you like your make-up?  How is your fashion sense?  Do you always shower and try to look nice?  With the exception of an occasional roll of the eyes she had to say yes to all of them.  Just because we have one flaw does not make us a flawed person.  We all have strengths, we all have weaknesses.  What seems odd to me is as a culture we seem to address these issues backwards.  Focusing all of our energy on our faults as we see them can only lead us to feeling inferior and depressed.  Now I am not saying if you do have an issue to work on that you should ignore it, not at all.  Work on it, but do not focus on it.  We should do our best to focus on our strengths to use the natural skills we have to bring the maximum amount of greatness to the world.  As we do we stand the best chance of helping others and our confidence will soar.  Knowing how well we can do things will put us in a far better frame to address the concerns we have with the other aspects of our lives.  Then when we look in the mirror and see those faults, just as we did with others we will understand it is the situation, not the person we are unhappy with.

WHO THE HECK ARE YOU??

This may sound like a rather silly question. I hear lots of you saying “I’m Bob, I’m Mary”.  No, that is your name.  I am talking about your identity.  Who we are is how we define ourselves.  So I ask you again, who are you? Notice what is the first thing that comes to your mind?  For a lot of us, it is our occupation.  We may not realize it, but we often identify ourselves by where we work or what kind of work we do.  Especially if we have done that job for a while.  I learned this the hard way.  After giving the postal service 15 great years, I was faced with the real prospect of losing my position for nothing more than office politics.  Suddenly I felt like, “Now what? What will happen to me?”  Those feelings of fear were because after so many years I identified myself as ‘Neil the postal worker’.  Lucky for me I had a few friends I could talk to who knew me before I worked for the postal service.  I had to ask Jason, Jenny, and Russ, my good friends, what was I like 16 years ago before the I started working there.  After a few jokes about stress levels I came to realize there was a Neil before the United States Postal Service and there will be one after as well.  Here we are a few years later and I find myself in the same situation.  What is different now is I realize I am not my occupation.  So who am I? More importantly, who are you?  We are who we choose to define ourselves to be.  I heard something recently that may help to show the example I am trying to get at.  “There is a great difference between doing something stupid, feeling stupid, and being stupid”  We have all done something stupid in our lives.  Some more than others. We have all felt stupid at times.  When we say we are stupid, that creates a whole different mentality.  If you say you are stupid, or overweight, or lazy, whatever term you use it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  I’m really good at this for saying “I am a procrastinator”.  Now if I hold that as a belief or even more so as a conviction, my actions will have to be in line with that identity.  So really think how you define yourself.  Take a moment to write a few beliefs about yourself that you hold.  See which ones serve you and which do not.  If you are like me and have one or two that may be holding you back it is time to switch them up.  Write down the person you wish to become.  Carry it with you and read it throughout the day.  At first it may seem like you are lying to yourself especially if it is the opposite of what you currently believe to be true of yourself.  Stick with it. You didn’t develop the beliefs you have about yourself overnight and you are not going to change them overnight either.  So let us all redefine ourselves and become the people we desire to be!

BE STRONG MY FRIENDS…

A lot of talk in the ‘self-improvement’ field can tend to sound like there is something wrong with us.  Well bad news first, I don’t care who you are, we all have something wrong with us.  Funny thing is we can sometimes be the last to see it.  That is a subject for a different post.  Now for the good news, we all have many things that are great with us!  When people tell me they are going to try to “fix” this or that about themselves so they can start living a more fun and positive life.  My first thought is to commend them, but let’s face it thinking about our weaknesses and how to better them is really no fun at all.  Instead I have a better suggestion.  Focus on what we all do well.  Think about it, what do people compliment you on?  Are you a great cook?  Perhaps you could cook a meal for a friend and arrange to bring it over so they don’t have to worry about making dinner.  Perhaps you play a musical instrument?  You could plan to play at a senior center or veterans home?  Truth is we all have talents and things that we both enjoy and are good at.  Finding new ways to use our talents to bring joy to the world can quite often bring joy to our own lives!  Plus, as we develop our strengths it will give us the needed confidence to tackle those pesky little areas we need to work on.  Which may not look so important after all.  So find the light inside of you and share it with the world today!

FOCUSING ON THE DOT ON THE WALL

A few years back I went to see a counselor for some relationship issues I was having.  Not sure how much it helped, but I do recall something she told me that I really found value in.  It applies not only to relationships, but life in general.  While listening to me discuss all the issues I felt were troubling the relationship, she said “I see what one of your greatest problems is”.  The fact that I had just mentioned like three different things seemed not to matter.  I was interested.  If there was one issue that connected all of these things and by addressing that the relationship could improve on several different levels, well I was all ears.  What she said next really confused me a bit.  “You’re focusing on the problem too much”.  I thought about that for a second.  “How the hell can you solve a problem if you don’t focus on it”  I thought.  Imagining what I must be thinking she took me over to a wall across her office. She pointed and asked “Do you see that nail hole in that wall?” Well it took me a second, but I found it.  She asked how bad it affected the wall. Well considering the wall was pretty big and the hole was small I answered not much.  Move closer she told me. So I moved closer until I was mere inches from the hole.  How does it look on the wall now?  The point was fairly clear.  Until she had pointed it out to me I really never even noticed it.  Then when staring so close at it, the rest of the wall seemed hard to notice.  It is focusing on solving the 10% instead of growing the 90%.  How many of us do this? Not just in our relationships, but with our jobs, or our cars, or anything really.  We seem to focus on what needs to be fixed or what we wish was better instead of appreciating all that is right.  Now I am not advocating ignoring any issue or just pretending it doesn’t exist.  Just that we must put things in their fair perspective.  Problems are only a part of life.  Some things are good, some things are not so good.  Yet, as we discussed in the post on gratitude, it is important to give attention to that which is working.  We may be mad at our spouse for something they said, but if we stop and think of all the nice things they have done or said we realize things are not that bad.  Focusing on a challenge can often make that challenge seem bigger and more intimidating than it really is.  So focus on a solution and everything that is working.  Put your problems in their place.  It will help you feel a lot better and make them a little easier to handle.

WHAT ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT?

If you had to pause a minute to answer this, or worse yet, you have to answer ‘nothing’, we have a problem on our hands.  Our days can be filled with one responsibility after another.  Chores that have to be done.  Deadlines that have to be met.  People to meet, places to go as they say.  Well, what keeps us going is having a little something to look forward to.  I hear a lot of you responding “yeah friday, 5 o’clock”  While the weekend is certainly fun, we can’t live our lives dreading 5 days and enjoying 2.  No, I am talking about both big picture and daily.  First let’s look at big picture.  Plan a get away with a group of friends.  Make it months down the road so you can work out vacation time and child care and any other needs that may arise.  It need not be a trip to Vegas, although that can be fun.  Even a weekend get away at a cabin in the woods with the girls or the guys can be a blast.  Fun thing is, you can spend the days, weeks and months leading up to it doing fun things to get ready.  Maybe taking out the sleeping bags to make sure they’re clean.  Picking up a good bottle of wine to share.  Anything that can get you excited.  Plus, sharing with friends can keep all of you looking forward.  How much more fun would that work meeting be if in the middle of it you receive a picture message of your favorite wine with a caption that reads “Here’s to next month” or a picture of a campfire with the words “don’t forget the marshmallows”.  A female friend of mine even worked out with her husband to take the kids to a hotel with a water park while her and her girlfriends had an ‘adult sleep over’ for the evening.  They all brought something and stayed up all night drinking wine, watching movies and laughing.  As sad as it can be when it’s over, your left with fun memories and an eagerness to plan the next event.  This also has the added bonus of strengthening friendships, or relationships if you do it with your spouse, and that can always add joy to our lives.  So what are you waiting for?  Get some friends, or your spouse together and start planing some fun!! Tomorrow we will discuss the daily aspect of this.

CATCH A WAVE

Here is something I encourage everyone to try.  Smile and wave at 3 random strangers every day for a week.  If you are a bit nervous, you can try it while driving past them.  In fact, that may be one of the best times.  When we are on the road we see lots of hand gestures and not many are very positive.  So I say give them a smile and a wave.  Notice how it makes you feel as well. Who knows you just might make someones day. At the very worst, you’ll just leave them happy and a bit confused.

LOSS OF A LOVED ONE

There are times when living a positive life may seem impossible and may even need to be put on hold. When we must walk a balance of supporting others while shouldering our own share of the grief.

One of the most challenging moments we can have in our lives is the loss of a loved one.  We look for anything and everything we can to heal the pain.  It has been my experience that only time can do that.  There are a few things that help keep my spirit going on when faced with such a situation.  First, it is to cling to and remind those you are still fortunate enough to have in your life in the physical realm.  Remind them how much you love them.  Even better if given any opportunity show them.  Remember too that it is only in the physical plain that you are separated. I am not here to speak to any after life or what one may believe, but our loved ones always live on in our hearts and in our memories. When my cousin was taken at the young age of 22 a few years ago right before christmas all of the other cousins, including myself and a few others who don’t even smoke, enjoyed one of his favorite cigars in his honor.  Well this may sound silly to some I think it helped us all feel a little closer to him.  Now, here is something I try to do that also really seems to help.  Each one of us brings their own light into the world.  I know my grandmother used to be the perfect hostess and loved playing card games with the rest of the family.  When she passed away that left a hole in the family.  To this day when the family is together I always try to make sure everyone has a cup of coffee or whatever they need.  Not to mention I love playing card games with everyone.  So be it a game of cards, or a terrific sense of humor, remember when we loose a loved one it is our duty, honor and privilege to let them live on by trying to keep the light they brought to the world burning, both in our hearts and for others to see.

 

dedicated to my dear friend Lory, you will always be missed and never be forgoten.