Today as I sat at work mowing the lawn I thought about how long it has been since I’ve been on a tropical vacation. After much deep thought and contemplation the answer came to me, far too long! It was then a conversation between a bartender and I in the city of Negril came to mind. The bartenders name was Sabian. I recall him asking me the usual “what do you do for a living?”. Which is when I told him I was an inspiring self-improvement author. He then asked me why I had not become a self-improvement author yet. I explained I had not completed my book and he inquired as to why that was the case. As I started to list my reasons why I could see the smile on his face getting bigger and bigger. He was almost to the point of laughing when I had to ask what was so funny. He told me “do not confuse self improvement with by yourself improvement. You have to get off your ass and not just sit around being an ass.” seeing that I was not quite sure if he was calling me an ass he explained further. ” I make a list of fashions I take every day towards my goals.” he said. I have heard lots of motivational people talk about listing ideas that you could do towards your goal but never actually writing down what actions you took. Then he put his own spin on it. “keep it between you and Jah(god) ” I asked him why and the answer he gave was very insightful. ” because a man may lie to others and he may lie to himself but he will never lie to Jah” so for this weekend think of one goal you are trying to aspire to. For the next week make a list of all the actions you do towards that goal. Oh and if you liked today’s blog post feel free to contribute towards my next trip to Jamaica

Here is a conversation I had with gentleman while tending bar the other night. Let begin by saying this man is into self improvement and motivation in his own way as well so quite often we discuss such ideas.  Recently this man has went through some tough times in his life. He found himself in some pretty difficult situations. A lot of what the took for granted has suddenly been taken away. By his own admission he did not respond in the healthiest fashion possible.  He made some poor choices,or certainly ones that someone in his position of motivating others should do. I think at one time or another we have all found ourselves in this position. Life throws us under the bus and we not only lay there we end up trying to pop the tires on the bus. Why not? It is natural to feel frustrated,  angry we were given all of these challenges.
Still, being angry and frustrated is one thing, staying there is another. So what happens when we do? What happens when we let life make us bitter? When we give up on doing the right thing? When we stop appreciating all the good life is still giving us? Life slaps us back. When we complain about life and adopt a “why me?” attitude life often continues to give us something to complain about. Until we change our thinking it seems to continue on and on. A vicious cycle. So how to break that cycle? The first part is awareness. This gentleman suddenly realized how far from everything he believed he had drifted. Next is to figure out how to use our pain instead of it using us. What made sense to this man was life was doing just what his mother used to do to him as a child. As he told me “when I screwed up when I was young my mom used to whoop my ass, now life is doing the same thing” essentially that is what happens. Sometimes life gives us a whooping because we are on the wrong path. Just like mom when we were young,however, it is for our own good. Now this man, like he did when he was young is learning his lesson. He is humble and more determined than ever to help and inspire others. So if life seems to be giving you a beating, look for the lesson, be grateful, be humble and let it make you more determined than ever!

Today has been an amazing day. Have you ever had one of those days when the drama and toils of life seem to be unable to touch you? I stopped and tried to figure out what lead me to have such a joyous day.  It started in the morning. The love of my life has cup of coffee ready for me when I woke up. We left to purchase some cake supplies she needed as she is the most talented cake designer i have seen. We then stopped at a little bakery for coffee and a snack before she began to create and I headed off to work. While there everyone seem to be in a good mood when I ran into them.  As I write this i have just returned from the grocery store. Everyone there seemed happy too.  Upon reflection it occurred to me, my lady had me in such a great mood that is what i brought to each of these situations.  The people were actually responding to my happiness with that of their own. Now, maybe you don’t have a person in your life as divine as i do and belive me i have never met one, but there is a point to be made. Do your best to start your day on the most positive thought you can. Surround yourself with inspiring people, perhaps listen to inspiring talks or music on the way to work, or even better as soon as you get out of bed. Looking for more ideas? Check out some in my book “A Happy Life for Busy People ” available on Amazon.com or think of some of your own. The important point here, if you wish to see the light, the easiest way is to be the light. So inspire others this weekend and see what happens!

So last Monday as I was behind the bar working at the local place i do, which for the record is called the local, i heard a fun little idea I’d like to share. Often i run my ideas past my bar customers as a first run before they make it into a book or this website.  On occasion they return the favor by giving me a few of their own. Here is one such idea. I was telling a young man my ideas to bring joy to the world when he held up his hand and yelled”slow down!” followed by “you can’t make everyone happy” i was about to reply with if you attempt to make everyone you meet happy you will probably succeed with most, but I paused to see if he had more. I am sure glad I did. “would you like to know what I do?” he asked. I am always looking for new ideas so I listened closely. “i pick one” my confused look received this explanation I decide on a group of people and go out of my way to make them happy. It could be cashiers one week, servers the next. Sometimes I pick people based on their car. If I see a red van i make sure to wave. I inquired if he was exclusive to this group of people,  but he explained they are just the ones he pays extra attention to.

So here is your homework for this weekend. Pick a group of people, any group. Blue cars, postal workers, bartenders. And pay a little extra courtesy to them. Do so for a week. Have fun with it, see what groups you can come up with. I’m going to try blonde djs who also make amazing specialty cakes, but that is just to keep my home life happy. So go ahead and try this weekend. Feel free to leave a comment on Monday and let me know how it worked for you

After completing my book “A Happy Life for Busy People ” i sent copies to celebrities who i thought may both enjoy reading it as well as help promote it. The copies included an invitation to be a part of my second book. Several people responded with form letters, some emails,but one gentleman set down to write me a handwritten note about the book. This gentleman was sent a copy because he personifies a person happy with life and on for with passion for each day. That happens to be the subject matter covered in my book. The person in question was Sammy Hagar. Most of you may know him as a solo performer as well as the lead singer of the rock band Van Halen for a period of time. He also owns the resort Cabo Wabo as well as the tequila of the same name.
So what great information did i learn from his letter? It wasn’t so much what was inside as the fact this busy man took time to sit down and hand write me a letter. If course it was a chance to be grateful,but more than that it reminded me the importance and effect that reaching out to others can have. We may not all be celebrities,  but we all have an area of expertise that we can share with others. In the last few months i have been approached by several people looking for advice on writing their first book. Currently I work 7 days a week at 5 different jobs. So time for myself and with my beautiful lady is precious. Still every time i am tempted to say no i recall how good it felt to receive that letter from a rock n roll icon. Ask yourself, what area of knowledge are you able to lend a hand to others in? Is there someone you could encourage that would really inspire them? I have learned that everything from my writing experience to the divine love a share with my Margie can inspire. So i put forth this idea, think of ways you can inspire and help those around you. Do it today and you will be surprised who may help and encourage you.

Today in the United states is the draft for the NFL.  Being a big football fan I’ll be interested to see who picks what. The draft had me thinking about how much it mirrors life. What do I mean by that? For those of you not sports minded,a draft is where teams pick new players to make there team better. We can do the same in our lives. Decide what kind of players (friends,  business partners or even spouse) you want and begin to scout, or look for those people. When you find them recruit or draft them into your life! Before you know it you will have an all star team capable of winning a championship life.

One more side to this. Ask yourself, where would you be drafted? Is there anything you could do to make you a more tempting choice to be on someone’s team? Perhaps be more fun to be around? More helpful? More kind? More compassionate? A good rule of thumb is to recall the skills you we looking for in people and see if you have those same traits. Good luck and we will see you at the draft

What do you say when people ask you a routine greeting? You know what I am talking about. A coworker walking by asks “What’s up Neil?” ok, that would be weird if your name wasn’t also Neil, but feel free to insert your name there. Even the more informal coffee shop employee asking “How are you today?” what is your average reply? Is it a simple “OK” or “doing well and how are you?” Often this is something we don’t pay much attention to. I always encourage people to use a positive response. Not just “Great” or “Really good” but something catchy. I have heard “any better there would be two of me” Myself I often use the word “Legendary” to be my reply. The reason you should use a positive reply is two fold. First, it inspires those you come in contact with. With a few glaring exceptions, not many people are interested in hearing about problems you may be having or hearing a bit of negativity in response to a greeting. Second, and more important to our business here, it sets your mind on that path of thinking positive. You may be asking right now “what if I am not legendary? What if my day really sucks. I don’t want to lie to some charming lady at starbucks”  Here is the thing, eventually saying your doing great in whatever way you choose to put it helps your mind get used to that and will eventually make that your reality.

So what is my favorite reply? It was given to me by my friend Samantha who is a server at a local restaurant here. When she came to take my order I inquired as to how her day was going. Her response? “Living the dream Neil” Again, feel free to leave off my name. I asked her if I could steal that phrase and she was kind enough to say yes. It has since become the title of my upcoming book and the focus of my current work.

How does all of this relate to you? Great question. Here is the one question I have been examining and that I would like you to ask yourself. What does “Living the dream” mean to you? How can you turn the life you have into the life you love? We are not talking about winning the lottery. What we are talking about is taking small steps right now that can have a big impact on your life. In addition to asking yourself this question I encourage you to seek out others as well. Don’t we all know people, who despite daily challenges, are really in love with their life? Ask them what their secret is. In the next couple of blog posts I will share with you some of the answers I have discovered both in speaking with others as well as doing some research on my own. I also welcome you to share any answers you discover on your own.

For those of you who regularly follow this blog you may have noticed the fact that posts have been… Well nonexistent. This was due to some technological and life challenges. I am pleased to announce in the very near future this blog will be active again with not only new posts, but videos for those of you would prefer to watch instead of read.
Thank you again for your support of secret2anamazinglife.com please feel free to share this site with anyone you feel could use some joy and motivation in their lives