Last post we discussed how we can recapture a little of the excitement of youth by remembering how cool things we used to do in treehouses and blanket forts were and comparing them with what we can do in our own homes. We ended that post by observing that our appreciation for the simple things tends to fade as we grow older. We do not find hiding in a blanket fort with our love as exciting as landing in Jamaica, or wherever our choice vacation destination is. Obviously, there are many more benefits to traveling to a luxury resort in a tropical paradise. Especially if you live in the freezing climate like my lady and I do.
What I am about to share with you is a very powerful secret to not only an amazing life, but an amazing relationship. Sit down, get comfy, but pay close attention. Using this secret will both deepen your connection with your partner and increase the amount of joy you experience on those tropical getaways. The best part we haven’t even mentioned. It will have you experiencing more joy on a daily basis. How about that for something amazing? You will grow closer to your partner, those special moments will feel more magical and you will experience more peace and joy in your heart daily. Does that sound like something you might be willing to give a try?
The answer lies in what we do in those seemingly little moments. I say ‘seemingly’ because that is how we view them. They are, however, the basis of what makes our life what it is. If you wait to bring magic to your relationship until there is a special occasion, what are you doing the rest of the time? Les Brown said there are very few couples who are living together. Most of us are just dying together. That is an uncomfortable truth. Do you spend your days arguing about who is going to make the bed or take out the garbage? Try making the bed together while talking about how great it will be to snuggle together in it later. When you take out the garbage, ponder how amazing it is that you can afford all the the things that generate this refuse and send a feeling of gratitude that there is someone who takes care of that garbage for you.
You may be thinking to yourself, “Yeah right. Happy making the bed and taking out the garbage?” It might sound far fetched, but stop and think for a minute. How happy would you be to make your own bed after being homeless? Can you even imagine being homeless? How about having to dig a pit and bury your refuse in your back yard. How long would you like to do that? Here is the million dollar secret in case you have missed it. Why should you even put fourth effort to find the joy and magic in these ordinary tasks? Simple. You do them every damn day. The difference between feeling like you are being dragged to do something you do not want to do verses something that you get to do and finding the joy in it, can transform the way your life feels on a daily basis!
One of the areas that I have found can be mined for joy and drawing closer to your partner is the grocery store. Watching what hot sauce they pick out and enjoy so you can surprise them with it at a later date. Talking about what kind of meals you would like to make together, or maybe picking out a new food to try together. That can be fun! That is not to say that every trip to the grocery store will be a magical experience. Margie and I have distinctively different shopping techniques and when we are tired and overworked this can lead to not so magical moments. It is then that having the experience of how to make it magical is more important than ever.
Here is the added bonus. When you learn to appreciate all the small moments in life, the big ones become even more magical. Take that view leading to the beach in the lower right corner. Truly a beautiful sight. Taking the time to hold my lady’s hand and experience it together, that made it more magical. The pigs in the upper left corner? We swam with them in the ocean and then fed them on shore. Watching my love interact with them and sharing our adventures with each other gave us memories for years to come. These are not things that happen overnight. Working on communication and relating to each other allowed us to better appreciate the moment together. That made the trip, and our time together on it, even more magical.
These two events play off of each other. What we learn in discovering the magic of daily life helps us to better appreciate our exciting time away. We also take lessons we learn on vacation home with us. When something doesn’t quite turn out like we thought (say our relaxing sunset cruise turns into an adventure straight out of Deadliest catch) we usually recoup back at our hotel room and say, “At least I get to be here with you.” That lesson holds true when we are spending an evening at home. A blizzard may have shut down the city and maybe the furnace is out. Still I will look out from under the blanket we are huddled together under and say, “At least I get to be here with you.”
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 