Tag: Gratitude

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT TO BE GRATEFUL FOR THIS?

There are so many things in the world to be grateful for. Once you start thinking about, and noticing all you have to be grateful for, you realize it is near limitless. One thing that many of us fail to consider is to be grateful for the freedoms we have. They exist in different degrees in different parts of the world, but we have far more than we ever stop and consider. The freedom of expression in a big one. You are reading words and thoughts that come from my brain to share with you. I have written three books full of expression. (Feel free to search “Neil Panosian” if you would like to pick one up) People paint, sculpt, cook, bake, design streets and towns. There are landscape artists as well. The world of expression is a broad one.

The freedom to eat what we want, travel where we want and dance how we like. There are so many freedoms that we have. I recall listening to a video where a man was walking in the rain and he came upon a bird. He asked himself, “Why does this bird not go somewhere more pleasant?” After all, birds can just fly away. Then he realized that he was no different. What is to stop us from leaving what weighs us down and chasing after our dreams. It is the biggest freedom of all. If we master this freedom, we can accomplish so many great things. If we fail to master it, we may end up its slave with less freedom than ever. Living in a cage of our own making. What is this freedom? Let us look at another quote to full grasp it!

Before we get into this freedom, we should preface it by saying the man who said this quote was in a concentration camp during world war II. If anyone knows about losing your freedom, it would be someone in a place so evil that few alive today can even imagine it. The freedom we are talking about is the freedom of thought. So many of us do not take full advantage of this freedom, or worse yet give control of it to circumstances and other people. You are mad and cannot concentrate because someone treated you harshly? You have the freedom to not let your thoughts allow you to go there emotionally. Watching the news got you down? You have the ability to think differently. There is even an area in which the freedom of thought is most important.

In many places of the world, and sadly we are starting to see this in the United States, your freedoms can be taken away. What then? What if someone tells you who you can or cannot love? How about where you can or cannot go? That is when the freedom of thought is most important. That is why it is important not to give that power up. Maintain your ability to think for yourself. Guard the entrance to your mind. Nobody can enter there without your permission. You may not to express your thoughts as you wish, but nobody can stop you from thinking them. Dream your dreams. Do so in private if you have to. Do not give up! Keep your mind and your thoughts free.

THE BATTLE OF A LIFETIME

With Monday fast approaching, everyone is thinking of the battles they have to face. Getting up and out of bed when we would rather not. Dealing with traffic and coworkers we would much rather do without. How many of us consider the greatest battle of all; the battle against ourself? Even the previously mentioned challenges are more a battle of our perception, than our actual reality. Changing our mindset and our heart is what will change our life. That is certainly easier said than done. Fighting that battle is what will give us that amazing life we have been seeking.

On the surface I realize that this may sound a little like self-improvement mumbo jumbo, but let us pause and take a look at it. Start with having to get up early and get out of bed when we do not want to. I start work at 4am, and have to leave the most beautiful woman behind, so trust me when I tell you that I know the struggle. Here is what else I know. Four years ago I died briefly. It is with great fortune and grace that I am still here. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about that. Another aspect to consider is that I have a job. There are so many that are hurting and looking to make ends meet. Is it the perfect job for me? Absolutely not, but it is one that allows me to pay the bills and pursue my passions of writing as well. The lovely lady that I have to leave? Each morning that I feel sad to leave her, I also am grateful she is there. Having someone you love that much in your life is a blessing. Even if you do not have a job yet, or a wonderful relationship, you do have life. The potential to improve is there every day. It can be gone in an instant. Make the most of it while it is here.

Looking at the other two items we mentioned, commute and coworkers, they also can be viewed differently and therefore felt differently. My morning journey to work is about 35 minutes give or take. That all depends on traffic and the ever present construction. In addition to the fact that I am alive to experience the commute, I think about the world we live in. There are paved roads, we have climate controlled cars and public transportation. Yes, roads can be bumpy and filled with potholes, but it sure beats dirt or no road at all. Do we all have our dream vehicle? Maybe not, but it beats having to ride on horse through rain and snow.

You may be tempted to dismiss all of this as a mere change in state of mind. It is, but that is the point. Developing this change will transform how your life feels. Can you imagine how that change of focus could affect your life? Is it easy to do? Of course not. That is why it is a battle every day. Is it worth it? It is as valuable as digging in a mine of pure gold! What are some of the ways that you can improve your mindset?

A FRIEND YOU HAVEN’T MET YET

Here is a question to ask yourself, “What are you grateful for that a stranger did for you today?” It may seem like an odd question, but give it some thought. Strangers are out there working to pave the roads for us. Strangers help us by checking out our groceries at the store and stocking the shelves. On a more personal level, a stranger may have held the door for you. Someone you don’t know may have smiled and even said “Good morning.” There are a million different things that strangers do for us every day. I am grateful for the people who are all involved in bringing this post to you. When I stop and think about it, that is a lot of people. The people involved in making my laptop. The people involved in my car that allowed me to drive to the coffee shop. Everyone at WordPress who hosts this site. The people here at the coffee shop. The ones who made the furniture I am sitting on.

As you can see, once you start pondering this, the list could truly be endless. So many people help us daily, many of whom we do not know, that our life would be near impossible without them. It is easy to complain about strangers. Asking why that person ahead of you in the brand new car does not know how to use a turn signal. Why was that person so unfriendly to you at the store? This is easy and if we do that we can quickly develop an attitude that all of humanity is bad. How do we save ourselves from developing this attitude? By focusing on what we have to be grateful for. Even the person who does not know that they have a magical lever that lets other drivers know they will be making a sudden deviation in their journey is giving us something to be grateful for. They are reminding us to use our turn signal. They are helping us practice our emotional control. They are giving us an example as to why drivers education is such an important class.

  Finding what we can be grateful for in others, namely complete strangers does not only help them, but it helps us as well. How is that? It gives us a positive attitude towards those we share our planet with. What difference does that make? Ask yourself which life is better, one where you are constantly finding reasons to be unhappy with the people around you? Being angry is not only bad for you emotionally, it will also compromise your mental and physical health as well. Studies show that prolonged anger can impair your cognitive function as well as your mental well-being and social relationships. That means you will be stupid, sad and without very many friends. Throw in cardiovascular issues and you may not have to live that angry life for long.

What happens when you continue to have an attitude of gratitude? Prolonged gratitude has been shown to reduce stress hormones such as cortisol. This helps improve sleep, immune health and heart health. It also helps neuroplasticity in the brain. That is the brain’s ability to adapt and change or learn. What this means is you will be happier, smarter and healthier. You will probably stick around for a lot longer as well. Which of these sounds like a better life to you?

A better opinion on the people you share life with will help you in so many ways. Developing that attitude can start with the simple act of finding ways to be grateful for strangers. We have discovered whether your interaction with someone is positive or negative, they are still giving you something to be grateful for. So ask yourself now, “What did a stranger do for me that I can be grateful for today?” Start with something positive, but remember even the negative can give us something to be grateful for. Do this long enough and you will develop a grateful attitude and receive all of the benefits that come with it.

BEAUTY IN THE NEAR DARKNESS

Most of you know I leave for work at 4am. On Monday this follows a night of being a DJ that has me home around 1am. That’s a tough turnaround. I have a fairly long commute. Going on 2 hours of sleep it can be difficult to maintain a grateful and positive attitude on occasion.

There are, however, many things that are a beautiful observation should I pay attention. The sun just beginning to rise this time of year created the amazing image above. That one you can’t help but notice. There are a few that are a little more subtle, but just as heartwarming.

About halfway to work I drive down a more secluded and quiet street. I enjoy the lack of stoplights, and the wildlife. One other thing I at every morning is an elderly couple going for their morning walk. They hold hands and look so loving. I hope to be doing the same with my lovely lady when we reach their age.

The point is, even with 2 hours of sleep heading in to a 9 hour workday, there are still plenty of things to make me smile. The only requirement is to be on the lookout for them. How about you? What are some of the things you are grateful for every morning?

THE REAL LUXURY

We touched on this thinking a few posts back with the story of my untimely, and fortunately temporary, death. What is really important in life has very little, if anything, to do with material goods. Beyond the basics of food, clothing and shelter there can only be so much joy to be found in excess of material goods. The irony is that is what a lot of us spend our time and energy pursuing. We work overtime at work to buy a bigger car or a name-brand this or that. These luxuries cannot be taken with us. The ancient Egyptians tried and their stuff is still sitting in the desert. One of my favorite quotes is from Denzel Washington. He said, “You will never see a U-Haul behind a hearse.” That is uncomfortably true.

When we are facing our final days, never are we laying on our death bed wishing for a bigger house or car. No, we would wish for more time with friends and family. In fact, time is the most precious of all the commodities of life. It is with a great deal of irony that we spend little time or energy to make sure we are making the most of whatever time we have. The amount none of us can be sure of. Doing things like living a healthier lifestyle. Reducing stress, eating fairly healthy and making sure we move will not only add life to our years, but could quite possibly add years to our life.

We covered two of the luxuries listed above. What about good company? I love that one. In a world where we are the slave to distraction, why not spend some energy and effort on being more present? It will help us enjoy our good company better. If we are present, we will catch little things that our friends share with us we might otherwise miss. When people leave our lives, we always find ourselves wishing for more time with them. One of the worst emotions to have when we lose someone is regret. “I wish I would have enjoyed the time I spent with them more.” we catch ourselves saying. This only compounds our feeling of loss. How much better would it be to know that we made the most of our time that was given to us?

How about the luxury of a quiet mind? In a world that moves at a mile-a-minute, a quiet mind is priceless. As an author who is currently writing about four different books, some peace and quiet with the voices in my head would be wonderful. How much time to we spend on developing peace of mind? Things like daily meditation and other stress reduction methods are investments in the luxury of peace of mind. So is working on not holding grudges, forgiveness and developing an attitude of gratitude. These are luxuries that we can use every day of our life. These are worth spending our time and money on.

Recently, Margie and I went on a week vacation. It was a memory worth investing in. It captured time, good company and peace of mind. It did, however, require us to be present with each other and what was going on around us. If we would have busied ourselves with thoughts of the obligations we had to return to, complained about the rain or if our food was not done right, it would have been a wasted expense. It is skills Margie and I have worked to improve with every vacation we go on. Our next one should be our honeymoon. We better be present for that one. Invest in the true luxury of life. What other luxuries do you think should have made the list? Share them in the comments below.

JUST ONE MORE…

Today’s subject matter I have mentioned before, but it is so important that it should be repeated. Here is a little personal story of mine, I believe you can see how it will relate to your own life as well. When I was told that I needed open-heart surgery, it was roughly 60 days prior. To be honest, there was not much consideration as to what could happen. This was despite the doctor telling me that there was a small possibility of stroke or death. He quickly followed with, “It would only be a temporary stroke.” Jokingly, I asked if the death would be temporary as well. Little did I know that would be the case. We are getting ahead of ourselves, however.

In the days leading up to the surgery, Margie and I went to the movies. It was the movie Eternals. It was a long movie and I made the mistake of drinking some coffee prior to going in. Right as the heroes were saving the world, I had to save myself in the men’s room. While conducting my business the realization hit me that I could be dead in 60 days. Reading that it sounds scary, but my reaction was not. It created a sense of urgency. I realized that I had 60 days to accomplish what I wanted and the clock was ticking.

As I returned to my seat next to Margie my mind was going a mile a minute. I looked over at the love of my life and realized this could be one of the last movies we attended. I thought about the time of year, it was November at the time, and realized this could be my last Thanksgiving, Christmas and most importantly to me was Margie’s birthday. It could be my last shot to do any of these things. Then, I thought about my beautiful lady specifically. She, lost in the superhero plot to save the world looked so beautiful and it pained me to think of how she would feel if I did not make it out of my surgery. What would her memory of me be? There were more thoughts like this of other people I love and cared about. Then there were thoughts of my legacy. That is a word that sounds so far away, but here it was 60 days away from what might be my end. How does one create a legacy in 60 days? I had just released my second book. Did I share everything I wanted to with the world?

My mind began to swirl with thoughts of what I wanted to do in the remaining 60 days. Here is the crazy thing. It was not an exotic trip to Fiji. Although that is still on the list of things I would like to do. It was not get a sports car. After all, what good is material things to you if you may be gone shortly? What I wanted to do was experience and create as many memories as possible. As I write this, I am in a coffee shop with Margie working across the table. It is one of my favorite things. Really, everything with her. I realized I like going to the zoo, grocery store and walks in nature with my mother. Should I, or any of these wonderful people be gone, it would be one more of these experiences I would want to enjoy. Look around you at the people you share life with. You never know how many times you have left with them. Really enjoy that one more. Be present. Be grateful. Love as much as you can. We never know when we will be left wishing for ‘one more’.

WHEN THINGS ARE TOUGH AND YOU CAN’T SEE THE LIGHT

We have spent countless posts and words on this site talking about the benefits of developing an attitude of gratitude. One of the main benefits is to help you see the light in the darkest of times. That it why it is important to develop that attitude when things are going your way. It makes it a lot easier to develop gratitude as a lifestyle when you start using it when things are going good for you. What happens when you have not sufficiently developed your attitude of gratitude, or when you are facing a situation that feels so dark to you that it is impossible to find the light? It is then that this quote above will serve us well.

In the worst cases. That is the toughest times we face. It can be hard to think of what to be grateful for. Given some time and hindsight, it will usually occur to us. What about those first few moments? The day we lost that job? The weeks after we suffer the breakup of that relationship we thought would last forever? Even losing someone we love, what then? Our world seems so dark it can seem as if the light as abandoned us. It can be stark reminder to take a hard look at things we may not have fully appreciated. Everyone complains about going to work, but being unemployed is far more difficult. A breakup is difficult, but did you spend the time you were together loving to the fullest and appreciating the love you received? When we lose a loved one, can we double our efforts to love those that we still have in our life? How about honoring and keeping the memories in our heart of the person we lost?

There are times when life is so dark it is impossible to see the good in anything. It happens to all of us. When that does happen, it can be a great time to reflect on much of the good that we take for granted. You lost your job? Do you have people in your life that love you? Do you have skills that will allow you to get another job? Your partner leave you? Is this a chance to better yourself and learn from your mistakes so that your next relationship will be even more rewarding? It can be hardest to lose someone we really care about. Even then, we can think of our own health. We can realize what a great gift it was to have to opportunity to love someone. Being able to share connection with someone is a gift that should not be overlooked. It is sad when that gift ends, but in reflection, it was great to have. Not everyone does have such a thing.

When you face the darkest periods of your life, be grateful it was not always that way and it will not always be that way no matter how dark it looks. Do your best to notice things unrelated to the area of your life that is hurting. Do you have your health? Do you have friends? You have the ability to read a site like this and be a part of a community dedicated to seeing the beauty in themselves, others and the world around them. You can, and you will, outlast the darkness!

THE 2 THINGS HAPPINESS IS ALL ABOUT

Today is Friday! At least that is the day this post comes out. Let us go into the weekend refreshing our mindset. In a world where everything is available at our fingertips, or can be delivered to our front door, it is understandable that we live in a state of wanting more. There is always the ‘next big thing’. People want the latest phone, the latest streaming service or the newest thing.

It is not bad to want the best, but at what cost? It is one thing to feel this way with material goods, but seldom does emotion stay in one place. Suddenly we are wanting more from our friends, our family and even our spouse. This not only causes fractures in relationships, but has us living in a state of lack.

When you always want more, then you never feel like you have enough. You feel unsatisfied. Even if you do get more, you still feel empty. What is the solution? Gratitude. When you switch to being grateful for what you do have, you feel abundant instead of lacking. When you do get more, you feel blessed and favored. It is a much happier life.

You can increase that feeling of gratitude when you consider how many problems you do not have. You have an illness or disease? I’m not here to tell you to be happy about that, but consider what you don’t have. There are roughly 20,000 human diseases. We should be glad we don’t have more than we do.

The 2 secrets of happiness are not that complicated. Be happy for the blessings you do have and be grateful for the problems you do not have. If you were to focus on these two things before bed and when you arise, your life would be amazing.

SMILING STRANGERS 😃

Last post we discussed an interaction I had with a stranger named Jeff. If you have not read it, have a look. It is an entertaining and brief story. It was a short and pleasant moment with a fellow I may never see again. This altercation not only provided material for a post on this website, but it brightened my day and filled me with gratitude. Can you recall a pleasant interaction with a stranger? Most of us remember rude or disrespectful people a lot more than we remember nice ones. Just the way our brains seem to be wired. The cumulative effect of stacking memories of unpleasant interactions, is that it can lead to a conclusion that most people in the world are unpleasant.

While it is true that there is a demographic of people that we may describe as unpleasant, we are helped every day by people we can often overlook or take for granted. Did you stop for a cup of coffee? Were you greeted nicely? Did someone hold a door for you? Did someone share a smile with you? Even someone listening to what you had to say is such a gift. A person cleaning off a table in a restaurant so you can eat at a clean table. Yes, this is there job, but them doing it and doing it well allows for a more pleasant experience for you. Stop and think of all the nice things that strangers do for you in a day. Even just sharing a smile with you in their busy day. When you do this for a week, it will do two important things for you.

What should be obvious is that it will increase the level of gratitude you enjoy in your life. We have discussed what this will do for you, but suffice to say it will help you in all areas physical, mental and emotional. The more important, and less obvious, is it will help you to see others and the world in a more positive light. When you reflect daily, for about a week, on what strangers did for you, it will help you to see how good people are. It will also help you to see those on your journey as helping you. This will cause you to have a more positive outlook on the world at large. How helpful could this be? You may be asking what those sunshine-challenged individuals did to cause you to feel grateful? Did they help you practice your patience? Give you an example of the person you do not want to be? Remind you how important it is to be decent and kind? Perhaps their poor behavior only allowed your good behavior to shine even greater? There are at least four ways in which a negative stranger can give you something to be grateful for. Imagine how much more we could get from a positive person?

Lastly, turn this around a little. Ask yourself what positive thing you have done for a stranger. You can have a far greater impact on the world around you than you think. Once you begin to take note of things strangers do for you and how they wonderfully impact your life, you will desire to return the favor.

WANT AN AMAZING LIFE? REMEMBER THESE 2 THINGS.

On the journey to become the best version of ourself and live an amazing life, we have a tendency to overcomplicate things. If you want to discover the secrets to an amazing life and remain motivated to become the best version of yourself, it boils down to remembering two simple things. I even carry a coin that has both of them printed on it. The first can be seen in the photo above. Momento Mori. This is Latin for “Remember you must die.” It is a reminder that our time on earth is a finite and depreciating asset. Just the other night I was listening to a stand up comedian who mentioned someone said to him, “Look at this picture of me when I was younger.” He replied, “Every picture of you is when you were younger.” That is both funny and profound. Even in the digital era were pictures are captured and can be viewed in seconds, we are still that much older. Another way to look at it is that much of our life has already slipped away.

Time passes by in the blink of an eye. Above is a young me and the current me. Shocked and blessed I made it this far, a brief flirtation with death not withstanding. Chances are that over 50% of my life is already gone. Even the time exchanged for typing these words are minutes I will never get back. That is why it is so important to consider what we exchange the time for in our life. It is a our most valuable commodity and one that is constantly depreciating. Knowing that will hopefully spur us to use it wisely. Does that mean we should lock ourselves in our house and try to live the safest life we can? That brings us to the second thing we should remember. The one that is printed on the opposite side of my coin.

How do we make the most of our life as it continues to slip away? That brings us to the second thing we should remember if we want to live an amazing life. Memento Vivere. Latin for “Remember to live.” Do the things that feed your soul and not just your wallet. Worry more about the smiles on the faces of those you love than the bottom line on your bank balance. Spend time noticing the flowers and not just driving to work. This may all sound a little like ‘living with rose-colored glasses’. That is just a term the unenlightened use to describe those who have found the secret to falling in love with their life. It is often said with jealousy and envy. They are unable to get past the outside circumstances that challenge our emotional well-being.

Remembering to live is more than changing our actions. It is a change of mindset. It is seeing everything as the miracle it is. Helen Keller once famously said, “Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all.” Think of when you were a young child. Your life was one big adventure. Adventures contain ups and downs. If we are sheltering ourselves from living life to the fullest either out of fear or in an attempt to cling to the fictious feelings of comfort and security, we must know we are leaving a lot on the table. We are either enjoying life or we are wasting it. Even the struggles of life come to bring us lessons and experiences we could experience no other way. Be grateful for them as well. Develop an attitude of gratitude. Realize that life happens for you and not to you. If these concepts sound like positive thinking hype to you, realize that your cynical thinking may be preventing you from living life to the fullest.

When it comes to living an amazing life, keep it simple. Remember these two things and use them to propel your life to the successful level you deserve.