Take a look around you. Wherever you happen to be reading this. It could be while getting your morning coffee. It could be in break at work or right before you go to bed. Feel free to share when you usually read this website.
Even if you happen to be reading this while waiting for the dentist, this holds true. If you look around there will be something you are grateful for. It could be that morning coffee you are making. It could be the coworker you get along with. If it is at night, your soft pillow is something worth gratitude. Even at the dentist, you could be grateful for the exit door!
I would recommend doing this several times a day. It not only increases gratitude, but gives a feeling of peace and tranquility in a often hectic world. I would love to hear both what time of day you read this site as well as what you are grateful for around you right now!
To many of you this may sound cliche or, at the very least, like some positive thinking nonsense. I do suppose it could be a little of both. That does not make it any less true. Much like anything in life, familiarity breeds contempt. Almost nobody I know enjoys going to work. If they lost their job, however, they would be happy to have an opportunity to earn money. Once back at a job, how long before they start to grumble about ‘having to get up early’? I am guilty of this myself.
My lovely lady is one of the most vocal critics of going to the gym. I think she spends so much time dreading it she might burn more calories doing that than working out. She did put this whole thing in great perspective the other day. After some introspection and contemplation, she looked at me and said, “I hate going to the gym, but I love how I feel when I leave.” Meaning going through all the sweating, moving your body when you do not want to and sore muscles are not enjoyable. Leaving knowing that you put in the effort and are one step closer to a healthier you is a great feeling. Wisely, she focuses on the future to be able to propel her to take productive action. It is a way to trick overcome her brain’s desire for inaction.
Speaking of working out. Recently, I sustained an injury that will prevent me from doing some things that I both enjoy and need to do. Now that I cannot do them, guess who is motivated to do them? Of course after the surgery I am going to be so motivated to go back to doing these exercises, right? That may be true in the short term, but after a few days of soreness from starting over, I will probably go back to dreading them. How do we change this to a constant state of motivation to do the things we know we need to do?
Many people ask how to stay motivated to take the actions they need to. I have written several books on the subject myself. It is the wrong question to be asking. Yes, it is good to have more motivation. Yes, it is good to find new and different ways to be motivated. Even with all of that, we will never be motivated all of the time. Not to mention, for most of us, motivation is a depreciating asset. As discussed in the earlier examples, you can be motivated at the start, but as time goes on that motivation becomes more difficult to maintain. What we need is a change in perception.
Inky Johnson, one of my favorite speakers, says that perception drives performance every day of the week. He emphasizes how important why we do what we do is. I couldn’t agree more. If you are working just for yourself, that is one kind of motivation. If you have a spouse and family depending on you, that is an entirely different kind of motivation. There is a difference between someone who works hard and a hard worker. Someone who works hard will do so if the boss is watching or the pay is right. Someone who is a hard worker will work hard because that is their character. That is the promise they made to themselves. How about you? What is your perception on doing the difficult things in life?
Last week, I had posted about being on vacation and attending our wonderful state fair. The Wisconsin State Fair brought many fun memories again this year. Great bands, great shows, wonderful food, but most importantly, time with family and friends.
I was lucky enough to have a few days with my lovely lady. We always get a coupon book that makes the whole experience a lot more affordable. One of the foods she enjoys eating during the fair is a corn dog. We were going to grab one a few times, but usually ended up too full by the time we got to the stand.
One day while I was wondering around by myself and missing her, I reached in my pocket and pulled out this corn dog coupon we were going to use. It made me think of how lucky I was to have such a wonderful partner to share things like the state fair with.
In life, there are reminders all around us of the special people in our lives. Reminders of things we should be grateful for. We often dismiss them as everyday objects. Perhaps they mean more to us after a person has passed away.
One of the secrets to an amazing life is to call your attention to these items while they are present. Spend some time pondering what they represent and the people you care about. It will increase the amount of love and gratitude in your life. That, in turn, will make your life more amazing!
I guess the picture gives away the answer to the question the title purposes. Yes, today is my birthday. To me, the day was never that big of a deal. It was great that I was born to be part of this world, but beyond that everyday is a gift for me. This all changed, however, when I met the lovely lady I am with now. Margie has a way of making everything a grand celebration. I think that is one of the major keys to an amazing life – finding someone who enjoys celebrating you and being with you. I have certainly found that in my lovely lady.
Having special people in your life, romantic or not, to celebrate with makes life so much more enjoyable. The best way to create relationships like this is how we treat others. The better we treat others, the more likely they are to celebrate with you. Celebrating the accomplishments, and special occasions, of your friends and family increases bonds and joy between you. It is also more likely to make that celebration more reciprocal. Take an interest in the people in your life and note the dates that are important to them. When those dates arrive, take time to celebrate them.
Here is another thought, it does not have to be the usual important dates. You do not have to wait for a birthday or graduation. You can pick fun days that are important to you, or maybe even just fun, and celebrate them together. As I write this, it is the National Day of the Cowboy. I had no idea such a holiday existed. Again, Margie to the rescue. She bought me a calendar that lists the holiday on each day. If I knew someone into cowboys, today would be a great day to get together and have a good time with them. It is crazy, fun things like this that make life worth living. What gives life its flavor. You could even have a party celebrating the birth of your favorite author?
One of the greatest gifts that I have is when I can engage with the readers of this blog. If you would like to give me a gift today, feel free to leave your feedback, make a suggestion as to what topics you would like us to discuss or just say ‘hello’ and let us know where you are reading this. I hope you all have a great day today. I know thanks to the beautiful woman in my life, I will!
In today’s crazy world it can be very difficult to not hear from a politician! We have some politicians that seem to be more focused on being on television than doing the job they were elected to do. Alas, it is the world we live in.
The point is that listening to these folks can leave you quite dispirited. We must, at the very least, balance this with some entertaining and inspiring listening. I’m not exactly a poet, although I have written a few poems, but having a few to listen to can pay some good dividends.
News, and politicians, have a chicken little the sky is falling outlook on life. To read and listen to people who ponder the beauty of nature and life itself can be a welcome, if not needed, break. I would encourage everyone to write some poems themselves. You don’t have to show them to anyone or try to get them published. The mere fact of writing them can bring some inner peace.
What are your some of your favorite fun things to listen to? Do you have recreational entertainment? For mental health and well-being it is vital!
The future. It can be a scary prospect. It can be a difficult project you have coming up. Maybe you have a presentation to give at work you are nervous about? There are difficult conversations we must have. To the basic Monday morning dread some of us feel.
There are 2 ways of looking at this dread, in my opinion. The first is that the future will come whether we want it to our not. No amount of dread or feeling nervous will change that. In fact, the more we get worked up about it, the more we are extending the pain of the event. It will still come, and may very well be difficult. Why add to that by sacrificing the time leading up to it?
The second, and perhaps more productive, way of looking at this is to use it as motivation. If you are nervous to give a talk at work, use that energy to be as prepared as possible. Monday morning dread? Use that feeling to find ways to bring as much joy as your can to your morning. That could involve buying a special coffee to enjoy on the way to work to five minutes of gratitude focus first thing in the morning.
As Marcus Aurelius said above, we will meet the future with the same weapons of reason we have today. If that thought is not reassuring, then work to improve your weapons of reason. Otherwise, do your best to relax and enjoy and be grateful for the present.
Like many of Mark Twain quotes, this is both filled with truth and a little humor. What he so eloquently expressed is that we should live a life so good that even those who stand to profit from our death would be sad to see us go. How on earth do you do that? Think about those in your life that you impact. That would be everyone you see, talk to and now digitally, impact online. It is not only them, but the people they interact with. Think of what happens when you pay a friend, or even a stranger, a genuine compliment. They feel good about themselves. They have more joy in their heart and their spirit. How do you think they will interact with those they run into?
Even those who seem to be against us in life. There are those sunshine-challenged souls who may be offended at your attempt to better yourself and the world. What about them? You may think they would be happy to see all the joy you attempt to bring to others gone. On the surface that may seem true. Even the hardest person among us appreciates people who are genuine in their desire to bring joy to others.
In my humble opinion, living an amazing life means leaving the world a better place than you found it. There are endless possibilities on how one may accomplish this. You can donate money or time to a charity. You can work hard to be the best spouse, parent or friend you can be. You can look to bring smiles to as many faces as you can on a given day. You can pick up trash. You can feed birds. The list is truly endless. We could do a different thing every day and be good for an entire year. Once you see, or feel, the ways you are improving the world, your heart will be happier too. When you are gone, and there is one less person working to make the world a better place, even the undertaker will be sad.
There are so many things in the world to be grateful for. Once you start thinking about, and noticing all you have to be grateful for, you realize it is near limitless. One thing that many of us fail to consider is to be grateful for the freedoms we have. They exist in different degrees in different parts of the world, but we have far more than we ever stop and consider. The freedom of expression in a big one. You are reading words and thoughts that come from my brain to share with you. I have written three books full of expression. (Feel free to search “Neil Panosian” if you would like to pick one up) People paint, sculpt, cook, bake, design streets and towns. There are landscape artists as well. The world of expression is a broad one.
The freedom to eat what we want, travel where we want and dance how we like. There are so many freedoms that we have. I recall listening to a video where a man was walking in the rain and he came upon a bird. He asked himself, “Why does this bird not go somewhere more pleasant?” After all, birds can just fly away. Then he realized that he was no different. What is to stop us from leaving what weighs us down and chasing after our dreams. It is the biggest freedom of all. If we master this freedom, we can accomplish so many great things. If we fail to master it, we may end up its slave with less freedom than ever. Living in a cage of our own making. What is this freedom? Let us look at another quote to full grasp it!
Before we get into this freedom, we should preface it by saying the man who said this quote was in a concentration camp during world war II. If anyone knows about losing your freedom, it would be someone in a place so evil that few alive today can even imagine it. The freedom we are talking about is the freedom of thought. So many of us do not take full advantage of this freedom, or worse yet give control of it to circumstances and other people. You are mad and cannot concentrate because someone treated you harshly? You have the freedom to not let your thoughts allow you to go there emotionally. Watching the news got you down? You have the ability to think differently. There is even an area in which the freedom of thought is most important.
In many places of the world, and sadly we are starting to see this in the United States, your freedoms can be taken away. What then? What if someone tells you who you can or cannot love? How about where you can or cannot go? That is when the freedom of thought is most important. That is why it is important not to give that power up. Maintain your ability to think for yourself. Guard the entrance to your mind. Nobody can enter there without your permission. You may not to express your thoughts as you wish, but nobody can stop you from thinking them. Dream your dreams. Do so in private if you have to. Do not give up! Keep your mind and your thoughts free.
With Monday fast approaching, everyone is thinking of the battles they have to face. Getting up and out of bed when we would rather not. Dealing with traffic and coworkers we would much rather do without. How many of us consider the greatest battle of all; the battle against ourself? Even the previously mentioned challenges are more a battle of our perception, than our actual reality. Changing our mindset and our heart is what will change our life. That is certainly easier said than done. Fighting that battle is what will give us that amazing life we have been seeking.
On the surface I realize that this may sound a little like self-improvement mumbo jumbo, but let us pause and take a look at it. Start with having to get up early and get out of bed when we do not want to. I start work at 4am, and have to leave the most beautiful woman behind, so trust me when I tell you that I know the struggle. Here is what else I know. Four years ago I died briefly. It is with great fortune and grace that I am still here. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about that. Another aspect to consider is that I have a job. There are so many that are hurting and looking to make ends meet. Is it the perfect job for me? Absolutely not, but it is one that allows me to pay the bills and pursue my passions of writing as well. The lovely lady that I have to leave? Each morning that I feel sad to leave her, I also am grateful she is there. Having someone you love that much in your life is a blessing. Even if you do not have a job yet, or a wonderful relationship, you do have life. The potential to improve is there every day. It can be gone in an instant. Make the most of it while it is here.
Looking at the other two items we mentioned, commute and coworkers, they also can be viewed differently and therefore felt differently. My morning journey to work is about 35 minutes give or take. That all depends on traffic and the ever present construction. In addition to the fact that I am alive to experience the commute, I think about the world we live in. There are paved roads, we have climate controlled cars and public transportation. Yes, roads can be bumpy and filled with potholes, but it sure beats dirt or no road at all. Do we all have our dream vehicle? Maybe not, but it beats having to ride on horse through rain and snow.
You may be tempted to dismiss all of this as a mere change in state of mind. It is, but that is the point. Developing this change will transform how your life feels. Can you imagine how that change of focus could affect your life? Is it easy to do? Of course not. That is why it is a battle every day. Is it worth it? It is as valuable as digging in a mine of pure gold! What are some of the ways that you can improve your mindset?
Here is a question to ask yourself, “What are you grateful for that a stranger did for you today?” It may seem like an odd question, but give it some thought. Strangers are out there working to pave the roads for us. Strangers help us by checking out our groceries at the store and stocking the shelves. On a more personal level, a stranger may have held the door for you. Someone you don’t know may have smiled and even said “Good morning.” There are a million different things that strangers do for us every day. I am grateful for the people who are all involved in bringing this post to you. When I stop and think about it, that is a lot of people. The people involved in making my laptop. The people involved in my car that allowed me to drive to the coffee shop. Everyone at WordPress who hosts this site. The people here at the coffee shop. The ones who made the furniture I am sitting on.
As you can see, once you start pondering this, the list could truly be endless. So many people help us daily, many of whom we do not know, that our life would be near impossible without them. It is easy to complain about strangers. Asking why that person ahead of you in the brand new car does not know how to use a turn signal. Why was that person so unfriendly to you at the store? This is easy and if we do that we can quickly develop an attitude that all of humanity is bad. How do we save ourselves from developing this attitude? By focusing on what we have to be grateful for. Even the person who does not know that they have a magical lever that lets other drivers know they will be making a sudden deviation in their journey is giving us something to be grateful for. They are reminding us to use our turn signal. They are helping us practice our emotional control. They are giving us an example as to why drivers education is such an important class.
Finding what we can be grateful for in others, namely complete strangers does not only help them, but it helps us as well. How is that? It gives us a positive attitude towards those we share our planet with. What difference does that make? Ask yourself which life is better, one where you are constantly finding reasons to be unhappy with the people around you? Being angry is not only bad for you emotionally, it will also compromise your mental and physical health as well. Studies show that prolonged anger can impair your cognitive function as well as your mental well-being and social relationships. That means you will be stupid, sad and without very many friends. Throw in cardiovascular issues and you may not have to live that angry life for long.
What happens when you continue to have an attitude of gratitude? Prolonged gratitude has been shown to reduce stress hormones such as cortisol. This helps improve sleep, immune health and heart health. It also helps neuroplasticity in the brain. That is the brain’s ability to adapt and change or learn. What this means is you will be happier, smarter and healthier. You will probably stick around for a lot longer as well. Which of these sounds like a better life to you?
A better opinion on the people you share life with will help you in so many ways. Developing that attitude can start with the simple act of finding ways to be grateful for strangers. We have discovered whether your interaction with someone is positive or negative, they are still giving you something to be grateful for. So ask yourself now, “What did a stranger do for me that I can be grateful for today?” Start with something positive, but remember even the negative can give us something to be grateful for. Do this long enough and you will develop a grateful attitude and receive all of the benefits that come with it.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 