This may seem a little contrary, but stick with us. There are so many people that spend their entire life in the planning phase that life passes them by. When they are ready to put their plans in action they are too old or life has provided a reason not to do it. It could be a health challenge or a situational change.
Life should be a balance of planning and action. Do not let life pass you by while you are planning to start it.
In the middle of enjoying the Wisconsin State Fair, this message appeared in my coffee cup. My mother, whom I was with, noted what a powerful reminder that was.
All too often we wait for later, tomorrow or next year to have a good morning, afternoon or evening. It is important to remember that one day it will be your last one. Crazy part is that you may not know that it will be the last.
That means right now is the best time to have a good morning, afternoon or evening. Make a life having as many good moments as you can! When the end does come, at least it will come with little to no regret.
An amusing quote for sure, but one that has a powerful meaning. It is not really about the hoofed animal, but the people who are actually below even them. We are talking about those folks who spend their time gossiping, going behind people’s back, lying and just operating as disrespectful humans.
Just as a pig is home in the mud, these people are at home in despicable behavior. When we try match them in deplorable actions, not only are they more experienced, but we reduce our character by our attempt to emulate them.
When you see someone engage in petty or underhanded behavior, just say to yourself, “another pig in the mud.” Then, move on making sure you rise above their behavior.
*we apologize to any pigs that were offended by these comparisons*
It sure does sting when we are disrespected, doesn’t it? Unwarranted personal attacks can hurt for a long time. The first response can be to respond in kind, or even with greater ferocity. We can spend time and energy sharpening our wit to better prepare for the next unexpected insult.
In what is now my 51 years on the planet I have learned this is not only a waste of time, but it steals time from actions that could propel our life to the next level. A far better option is to work hard to create a life that is difficult to attack. It is better for our stress level as well as improving our life.
I understand it can sure feel good to ‘get back at’ someone who disrespects you. What did you get out of that? A momentary feeling of satisfaction? You also gave validation and satisfaction to the person who disrespected you. Yes, you may have said something clever, or made them look foolish. Meanwhile, your reaction gave them satisfaction and took valuable time and focus away from improving your own life.
Next time you are the recipient of disrespect, or an unwarranted attack, walk away. It is not only an option, it is the best option.
This, on the surface, may sound a bit material. I take it with the humor it was intended to have. In other words, life is better when you have something to look forward to. It does not have to be packages. If you are buying too many things, you could get yourself in financial trouble and your house could end up looking like an episode of hoarders. Same with vacation. Trust me, I would take a 6 month vacation twice a year if I could. It would make paying the bills a little tricky.
You can manage these. Small gifts to give to others are nice packages to receive. Even consumables that you can afford for yourself. A vacation doesn’t have to be a tropical getaway. It should, in my opinion, but it doesn’t have to. A weekend away with that special someone or a getaway with friends can be just as exciting.
The important part of this message is to always have something to look forward to in your life. Margie and I pick days to read together, watch a movie or maybe go to the movies or a special place for dinner. Many of these do not cost anything but a little time and commitment. The payoff is that we always have something to look forward to and makes getting through the day far easier. How about you? What are you looking forward to in life? Can you plan something fun?
It can be hard to deal with some challenging people. Maybe they are always negative and complaining. Maybe they are impatient or judgemental? One way to look at the situation is ask yourself, “What can this person teach me?” These answers can range from ‘how to be patient’ to ‘what not to be like as a human’. Either way, every negative person in our life brings us a gift in the form of a teaching. We should not miss the gift just because we do not like the wrapping paper.
We will end this on a positive note. Think about how grateful you are for the people who bring light and medicine to your life. This can be someone who always listens. It can be someone who always brings a smile. There are people who just make us feel better by their presence.
Everyone is a teacher. Which kind are you?
Risk is not always a bad thing. It gives or life that spark. Keeps things interesting. It should be done responsibly. Risking your house on the outcome of a sporting contest you have no control over would not be a good risk to take. Done correctly, risk gives us a lot more than we think.
Far too many of us live in fear of risk. We shy away from any chance of failure. We live what we consider a ‘safe’ life. We never ask that person we really like out. We never apply for that job that we would love. We are alive, but is it a life worth living?
The secret to getting over that fear is in the quote above. “You either win or learn.” You ask that person out and they decline. You can ask them politely why. Maybe there is something you could improve on? Maybe they are shallow and you are better off learning that right away? Apply for the job. If you do not get it, you can learn what you need to set yourself up for success next time.
Learn and move along! That’s how you win at life!
Last post we discussed how we can recapture a little of the excitement of youth by remembering how cool things we used to do in treehouses and blanket forts were and comparing them with what we can do in our own homes. We ended that post by observing that our appreciation for the simple things tends to fade as we grow older. We do not find hiding in a blanket fort with our love as exciting as landing in Jamaica, or wherever our choice vacation destination is. Obviously, there are many more benefits to traveling to a luxury resort in a tropical paradise. Especially if you live in the freezing climate like my lady and I do.
What I am about to share with you is a very powerful secret to not only an amazing life, but an amazing relationship. Sit down, get comfy, but pay close attention. Using this secret will both deepen your connection with your partner and increase the amount of joy you experience on those tropical getaways. The best part we haven’t even mentioned. It will have you experiencing more joy on a daily basis. How about that for something amazing? You will grow closer to your partner, those special moments will feel more magical and you will experience more peace and joy in your heart daily. Does that sound like something you might be willing to give a try?
The answer lies in what we do in those seemingly little moments. I say ‘seemingly’ because that is how we view them. They are, however, the basis of what makes our life what it is. If you wait to bring magic to your relationship until there is a special occasion, what are you doing the rest of the time? Les Brown said there are very few couples who are living together. Most of us are just dying together. That is an uncomfortable truth. Do you spend your days arguing about who is going to make the bed or take out the garbage? Try making the bed together while talking about how great it will be to snuggle together in it later. When you take out the garbage, ponder how amazing it is that you can afford all the the things that generate this refuse and send a feeling of gratitude that there is someone who takes care of that garbage for you.
You may be thinking to yourself, “Yeah right. Happy making the bed and taking out the garbage?” It might sound far fetched, but stop and think for a minute. How happy would you be to make your own bed after being homeless? Can you even imagine being homeless? How about having to dig a pit and bury your refuse in your back yard. How long would you like to do that? Here is the million dollar secret in case you have missed it. Why should you even put fourth effort to find the joy and magic in these ordinary tasks? Simple. You do them every damn day. The difference between feeling like you are being dragged to do something you do not want to do verses something that you get to do and finding the joy in it, can transform the way your life feels on a daily basis!
One of the areas that I have found can be mined for joy and drawing closer to your partner is the grocery store. Watching what hot sauce they pick out and enjoy so you can surprise them with it at a later date. Talking about what kind of meals you would like to make together, or maybe picking out a new food to try together. That can be fun! That is not to say that every trip to the grocery store will be a magical experience. Margie and I have distinctively different shopping techniques and when we are tired and overworked this can lead to not so magical moments. It is then that having the experience of how to make it magical is more important than ever.
Here is the added bonus. When you learn to appreciate all the small moments in life, the big ones become even more magical. Take that view leading to the beach in the lower right corner. Truly a beautiful sight. Taking the time to hold my lady’s hand and experience it together, that made it more magical. The pigs in the upper left corner? We swam with them in the ocean and then fed them on shore. Watching my love interact with them and sharing our adventures with each other gave us memories for years to come. These are not things that happen overnight. Working on communication and relating to each other allowed us to better appreciate the moment together. That made the trip, and our time together on it, even more magical.
These two events play off of each other. What we learn in discovering the magic of daily life helps us to better appreciate our exciting time away. We also take lessons we learn on vacation home with us. When something doesn’t quite turn out like we thought (say our relaxing sunset cruise turns into an adventure straight out of Deadliest catch) we usually recoup back at our hotel room and say, “At least I get to be here with you.” That lesson holds true when we are spending an evening at home. A blizzard may have shut down the city and maybe the furnace is out. Still I will look out from under the blanket we are huddled together under and say, “At least I get to be here with you.”
This is a rather simple phrase from one of the smarter, more accomplished men of our day. Leo did a lot in his day. Inventions, painting, and some science. He had a well-spent life. This seems like one of those phrases that are a little too big for most of us to figure out. How does one lead a well- spent life?
As usual, we make it a little more complicated than need be. What kind of life we are living is not something we stop and contemplate on a daily basis. What we can do is ask ourselves, at the end of each day, “Did I spend this day well?” Were we productive? Did we take actions towards our goals?
A well-spent day is about far more than productivity. We should ask ourselves, “Did I inspire and encourage anyone today?” How did we treat the people we came in contact with? Did we practice self-care? A productive day can look different to everyone.
If we put enough of these days together, it will have us feeling peaceful when the end of our life is drawing near. Ask yourself, did you spend your day well today?
You never know how much you are loved. Rarely do people convey how much you mean to them. Let us be the change makers in that. Tell people how much they mean to you and why. Then, watch them light up and your relationship with them grow closer. It is these actions that will allow us to change the world in a positive way!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 