Here is a picture of me with smokey bear. For those of you who do not know,smokey is a character used to teach children fire safety. His motto is “only you can prevent wildfires” think of a wildfire,  it spreads so quickly, often destroying people’s homes and lives. Even the best technology cannot often keep up with them. By the time they burn out it can take years to recover.

Do you know what else spreads like a wildfire? Often costing people jobs,homes and sometimes the very lives?  That takes years to recover from? Where technology cannot only not keep up with it,  but often helps it spread? In a word – gossip -.  On the surface gossip may not seem all that harmful. In fact, it is quite easy to agree with someone when they say another person is crazy. Especially if you think that person could benefit from some couch time. However. Quite often we may not have all the facts. We may not know their story and what makes them act as they do. You also never know how hearing what people are saying about them may affect them.  Perhaps they will quit their job because they now feel uncomfortable. Maybe they will feel betrayed and less confident. Worse case, they may lose all hope and end their lives. You may not think agreeing with something bad that is said about someone could do all that, but remember a wildfire. It can spread, grow  and turn into something with far more force than it started out as. So next time you are tempted to gossip yourself or even agree to others gossip,  remember the words of smokey bear – “only you can prevent wildfires”

Here is a picture of my beautiful lady and I. I mentioned a few posts ago that people are always telling us what a great couple we are. So in an effort to help everyone experience the love we share I am sharing some of the things we do that make our love so amazing. One of them is constant and never ending effort.
Let me explain by offering you an analogy. I think love is a lot like working out. Right now people are seeing Margie and i in what amounts to being in the best ‘relationship shape’ of our lives. Our communication is open, honest and flowing, our joy is off the roof, and the passion? The details are too hot to share on a site like this. Yes our relationship is in great shape! We didn’t just fall into that though. Much like when you have areas on your body that need some attention, we spent hours “in the relationship gym” day after day working on those until we arrived at a point where they were healthy. It took a lot of effort, but like getting in great physical shape,people sure notice the results.
Another point to mention. Do you recall the time you were in the best physical shape of your life? If your answer was yes, but includes a memory like most of us there is a point to be made here. Why are you still not in that shape? Well even if you made it to the top of the mountain and hopefully your still there if you stop working out, if you stop eating right you are not going to stay that shape. In order to maintain a great figure you must continue to work hard.
If all this sounds like a lot of hard work I have good news and bad news for you. The bad news is it is. If you do not work hard on your relationship your love and passion will begin to fade, the joy will slip through your fingers and like working out the longer you wait the harder that is to get back. Sadly if you wait too long it might be too late. So what is the good news? Just like people who manage to stay in shape the trick is to enjoy the effort your putting in. Like working out, notice the results no matter how small as they come and celebrate. Here is another tip, find ways you enjoy. Some people love hitting the gym, some love riding a bike, some jogging. Just like physical exercise, there are different ways to work out your love and trust me, a lot can be fun for both parties whole increasing intimacy, romance and trust. Make it fun and you are far more likely to succeed.
Before I let you go, here is one more tip. If you are running a few miles a day and have an evening of pizza and beer it is less likely to affect you especially if you get back at again than if you just watch people running on TV. Same holds true for your love. Sometimes we let our partners down, or just make a mistake that causes an upset. Your love is more likely to recover and do so quickly if you have been working on making it stronger,especially if you get back at it. See you at the gym!

ANOTHER SECRET WEAPON FOR YOU: https://youtu.be/pOYvjecJleY

This post is about a subject I often discuss here. That subject is perspective. How you look at life is far more important than what you are looking at. It is important to remember that we cannot control life’s events, but we can control what they mean to us. This is most important when you are facing a challenging situation. We have discussed that in past posts and will do so in future ones as well.
Today’s post is about a different way of using both perspective and meaning. Let me explain. One of the greatest blessings in my life is my relationship with my lady. Honestly, not a day goes by that we are not told what a great couple we are by someone. A lot of the time we hear things like “i want what you have” or not so positively stated “im so jealous of you” well there are two points to be made here. First, there is a lot of hard work that goes on in creating what we have. We do our best to make it fun hard work, but we are never lazy when it comes to our love. We will go into that another day. Second, and the point I’m making today, is this, we look for love. What does that mean? Simply stated every situation that happens whether it is her waiting to get my attention while I’m lost in writing something or I’m waiting,usually not so patiently for her to get ready. We always look for the love. When all she wants is my attention and I am lost in my world know she is being grateful for having a man who is living his passion and doing his best to make the world a better place. Being a simple minded man, as I sit wondering what women do for all that time while getting ready, i focus on the fact she is working so hard to look beautiful for Me and what a lovely woman I have. We are not perfect, but we always look to see the love in what each other is doing. Here is my final example.  Earlier today we found ourselves discussing what goes on behind closed bathroom doors. Without giving you the colorful details, let me assure you I left that conversation feeling closer and more loving than ever. I know at this point if I were you I might be asking what the hell can talking about bodily function make you feel love? Trust me it had me laughing too.  The truth is, even though we are so passionate and romantic, we are open, comfortable and honest. Seeing how we could discuss and joke about something so personal is what keeps us close. So if you want a great love like I share, do yourself a favor. Whether it be when a challenge arises, or even a need to use the restroom, if you want love, look for the love. Until next time my friends

Tonight marks the end of me bartending at the bar I’ve been at for the last four years. Quite honestly, it could be the beginning of the end of my bartending all together. Although I have been bartending for 21 years and consider myself very good at it the time has come to move on. So while this is the end of an Era,  it also is the beginning of so much more. For those of you who enjoy reading these posts there will be more of them and I will be better able to think and focus on creating them. There are relationships and friendships i want to grow and develop. There are YouTube videos i am doing which can be found under my name, Neil Panosian.  Feel free to check them out and give some feedback.  There is also my next book which should have been out months ago.
What does all of this have to do with an amazing life? A lot.  Even though this end has been my choosing, i have experienced lots of ends that were not my choice. No doubt you have as well. Jobs,  relationships, even things like dinners with friends and a night on the town. They all have to end. The secret is to remember every end is a new beginning. Napoleon Hill once said “in the greatest challenge lies the seed for the greatest opportunity” if all of this sounds a bit too positive thinking and new age for you, let me ask you a question. What do you think is the ‘right’ way to handle things? Sit and stare at what was feeling sad and depressed as you waste your future away? Sure all of this is easier said than done especially if you are the one who has lost their job,or husband or wife.  There is a trick that might help. Start now by reading stories of people who have picked themselves up from the bottom and succeeded beyond what they could have. Prove to yourself it can be done. It is true we can’t control outside circumstances, but we have complete control over what we will let them mean to us and how to react to them. Make your decision now!  How will you react to life’s challenges?  Do you have any tips to help others do so? Feel free to leave them here