Who would not want a more beautiful world? These days things are getting a little ugly in many places. We can feel helpless to make any real change. Most of us are not leaders of countries. We are not those who make laws. We do not lead religions or are not celebrities who have millions of followers. Considering these facts, how can any of us hope to make changes that can make the world a more beautiful place?
The answer can be found in our own lives. When we think about who made the greatest difference in our life it was not the government or a celebrity. No. It was usually a kind word from a friend. Perhaps an encouraging word from our parents. A supportive and loving word from our partner can change our life. Even random kind acts from strangers have a greater impact in our life.
The point is simple. If you wish for a more beautiful world, then spread kindness and love to all you meet. It is those interactions that change people’s lives.
This, on the surface, may sound a bit material. I take it with the humor it was intended to have. In other words, life is better when you have something to look forward to. It does not have to be packages. If you are buying too many things, you could get yourself in financial trouble and your house could end up looking like an episode of hoarders. Same with vacation. Trust me, I would take a 6 month vacation twice a year if I could. It would make paying the bills a little tricky.
You can manage these. Small gifts to give to others are nice packages to receive. Even consumables that you can afford for yourself. A vacation doesn’t have to be a tropical getaway. It should, in my opinion, but it doesn’t have to. A weekend away with that special someone or a getaway with friends can be just as exciting.
The important part of this message is to always have something to look forward to in your life. Margie and I pick days to read together, watch a movie or maybe go to the movies or a special place for dinner. Many of these do not cost anything but a little time and commitment. The payoff is that we always have something to look forward to and makes getting through the day far easier. How about you? What are you looking forward to in life? Can you plan something fun?
This title sounds like an April fools joke. It is, however, April 2nd. The picture is what I was shown when I inquired where the men’s room was when Margie and I were in Jamaica. This, I also thought was an April Fools joke. Except is was February or March. Which month I wasn’t sure, but I was sure that men’s room was where everyone could see me conducting my business.
What does all of this talk about men’s rooms have to do with self-improvement? It came down to a conversation I had with a friend of Margie and mine. He asked me where I had been. When I informed him I was using the gents, he asked me a question that had never been brought up before. “What urinal did you use?” I stared blankly not sure if this was an opening for a joke. It was not. “The one nobody else was using. ” was my honest answer.
He went on to explain he only used the one in a corner so nobody could sneak up and jump him. I have had a few odd things happen in the men’s room, but I have never been attacked. Never really considered that as an option. This man had obviously had different life experiences than I.
That’s when it occurred to me how different every aspect of life can be based on your previous life experiences. This is not just true of where you conduct your business in the men’s room. It can be whether you see challenges as something to stop you, or as opportunities. Whether you see the glass half empty or half full.
Another important aspect to this is that by listening to other’s experiences, we can change how we view something completely. I still do not look for the safest bathroom, but I can appreciate having that outlook.
It is for this reason it is important to surround ourselves with a variety of different people. Each one brings a unique perspective formulated by their unique life experiences. It is also important to consider whether their unique perspectives can add to your life or detract. How does this relate to your life? Has someone ever completely changed the way you look at an area of life?
Leave it to me to pick a month that has 31 days in it to do a 30 day gratitude journey. It didn’t seem right to end it with only 1 day left in the month. Therefore, we get a bonus day of gratitude.
This picture was taken a little over a year ago. It is crazy to imagine that last year at this time I reached 1000 days in a row of posting a blog. Unknown to me, my lovely lady gathered some close friends around to celebrate. That in itself was amazing. Each person said a little something as Margie recorded a video. That is a memory I will always cherish. In this one event there are a million things I can pick out to be grateful for!
This is blog number 1367. As you can see I made it another year! Still another thing to be grateful for. I hope this month was as powerful and enlightening for you as it was for me. If you missed any of the 30 days, you can go back and read those posts. If you feel the need for a month of gratitude, they will be here anytime you wish to take the journey. Next month we will be back to our regularly scheduled self-improvement content. You are welcome to join us!
My next book will address how to get out of the ‘wake up, pay bills, repeat, die’ cycle. How to get the passion back in your life. As such, I have been speaking to others a great deal on this very subject. Many different opinions as to the cause and the solution of this ailment have been put forth by people of all different cultures, creeds and races. The ironic part about all of this is that many of their answers share a common thread.
Why do we seemingly fall out of love with life? Why do we lose the zest and passion as we get older? More importantly, why do some seem to find it again while others never do? What can we do to get that excited to be alive feeling back into our own life? Asking many people this very question, the main point that came to light is that we do not spend much time pondering it. We often busy ourselves in routines that leave little or no time for contemplation or self-actualization. When was the last time you pondered this question yourself? When have you spent more than a few seconds wondering where all the joy and excitement in your life has disappeared to? What little spare time we have we seem to fill watching meaningless 60 second clips online.
The answer to this dilemma is a little counterintuitive. It can be found in the pictures above. Can you guess what it is? That answer goes by many names. Some call it comfort. Some call it security. It is sticking with the known routine instead of the fear of what could happen from pursuing a life that would be more fulfilling. How many people stay in relationships that are toxic just because they are afraid to be alone? How many people tolerate jobs they hate because they bring a steady paycheck? The answer is far too many. We trade the passion and excitement for perceived comfort and security. I say perceived because life, never mind jobs and relationships, are never a sure thing. Just because a company has been around forever does not mean it will be here tomorrow. In my lifetime, I have seen entire industries that have been here for decades or longer disappear seemingly overnight. I heard the actor Jim Carrey tell a story about his father deciding being an accountant was a safer bet than trying to be a comedian. Then he was fired from his accounting job. I am going to guess that job did not fulfill him either.
I am not advocating giving your boss the one finger salute and walking out the door because they do not give you a 6-month vacation twice a year. What I am telling you is that trading what sets your soul on fire for a preconceived notion of security amounts to spiritual suicide. If that spark in your heart seems faded or gone all together, the time to act is now! What do I mean by act? There are several actions you could take. Start a side hustle that feeds your soul. It could be creating content, bird watching or taking photos. Speaking of taking things, you need to take some risks as well. Nothing that will put you or those you love in danger, but try the things you are afraid of. They might not succeed at first, but you may very well discover the joy you have been missing.
Another thing you can do to recapture your zest for life is to do something that sucks. Again, it may sound counterintuitive but it breeds appreciation for the daily comforts you have taken for granted. There are things we avoid that could improve our lives because they are uncomfortable to do. Perhaps we are putting off writing that book that is inside of us because we just do not have the time. Make no mistake, you have the time. When you are in the middle of doing something that feeds your soul, even if it includes some discomfort, you find the time, the energy and the motivation.
Pushing through discomfort can actually become addicting. Not the act of going through the discomfort itself, but the pride you feel at the end of it. That is the tricky part. We avoid discomfort, but by doing so we also avoid the variety and excitement it brings. The sense of adventure. The pride we feel at the end. The quote above has been attributed to many people and is very true. “Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.” We want the accomplishments and the feelings that go with them, but we are afraid to give up the comfort we currently have to get them. Instead, we settle for some sort of purgatory where we have a false feeling of security, but we are not truly happy. That is why often those who lose their jobs, relationships or other important things in life and are forced to start over often wind up being happier than they were before. They are forced to deal with that discomfort and have the freedom to pursue what speaks to their soul.
Are you a slave to the comfort in your life? What would happen if the perceived security you thought you had crumbled? What have you been sacrificing in your life for comfort? Is there something in your life that must die for you to get to your heaven? Is that thing the comfort and security you are clinging too? Try stepping outside your comfort zone and see what happens.
No matter what your situation in life, there are always trying time. With the price of everything going up, many of us live paycheck to paycheck. Another post about wealth being a mindset does nothing to pay for the loaf of bread you would want to buy. Keeping this in mind, there is a way to make the journey for a better life a lot more enjoyable and to keep from feeling like you are struggling. Does that make a difference? I believe it does. Having the mental fortitude to press on when it feels as though life is pressing you down makes a big difference.
Even more annoying than wealth being a mindset thing is people talking about feeling grateful when you are struggling. How can you feel grateful when you are working just to survive. I get that. The truth is, that is when gratitude has its biggest payoff. It can be hard to begin a journey of gratitude, but once you do it can change your life. That may sound like hype, but I am here to tell you that I personally know it to be true. Before I share how gratitude changed my life, it is worth mentioning that gratitude, unlike money, increases the more you give it. When you begin to focus on what you have to be grateful for in your life, you will find that you notice more and more things to be grateful for that you might have missed.
Here is my brief story of how gratitude literally changed my life. I was 23 years old when I started my day job. For reference, I am now 50. A lady who was a customer there taught journaling classes. She was trying to convince me on the power of gratitude and keeping a gratitude journal. To prove to her it didn’t work, I agreed to try it for 30 days. Starting something to prove it doesn’t work is the least motivated you can be. I made sure to follow her directions to the letter just so she could not tell me I did it wrong. After a week, I noticed my mood lifted…a little. After two weeks, I found myself noticing things in my life that I had taken for granted. After three weeks, I realized how amazing a lot of the people in my life were, how lucky I was despite my challenges. When the month was over, I found myself encouraging others to keep a journal. That was a far cry from proving it didn’t work. Shortly after the month was over, my car was totaled in an accident that saw me go through the windshield of my car. Less than ideal. The complete story is in my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People.
Just as I was learning this valuable new skill, life chose to test me in the most extreme way. Instead of deterring me, it actually proved the power of gratitude even more. It changed one of the most important conversations I had in my life. One that I had been ignoring for far too long, but one that had the biggest impact on my life. That will be a story for tomorrow’s post.
This is a very important point to ponder. It can be so easy to ride the waves of negative emotions, but that just leads to am ocean of despair and depression. That is not to say you should not validate your emotions. Like the quote above says, “feel your feelings” To that i would add to look for the lessons and what you can learn from them. Then, take a walk outside. You will be greeted with all kinds of beautiful reminders.
A change in mindset is required. The payoff is even with all of the challenges, you will see, and more importantly feel, life is a miracle instead of a job. Walking in nature helps this. You see the beauty in the trees, the birds and other animals we share this planet with. I love seeing elderly couples out waking together. It not only gives you hope of lasting love, but let’s you know it is never too late to fall in love.
Miracles surround us everyday. Granted it can be hard to see them when we find ourselves down and out emotionally. That is when it is the most important to do. One way to accomplish this is to find as many things to be grateful for as you walk. It could be the fact that you can walk. Maybe not as well as you used to, but you still can. How about the fact we now have sidewalks and stop lights? Quite different in the 1800’s. Most parks have rest rooms available. If not, there are usually businesses in near proximity.
The world is full of miracles. Use the power of gratitude to unlock them. When you are feeling down, or even if you are not, take time to walk about, look up and notice them all.
Oscar Wilde sure was an amusing gent. This quote is sadly accurate. I’m not sure what happens as we age, but for a good many of us life becomes “wake up, work, pay bills and repeat.” This continues until one day we don’t wake up at all.
In preparation for my upcoming book, I have been asking people their take on what they believe can help put the passion back in life. There have been some great answers given. It was one gentleman’s failure to have an answer that really started me thinking.
We will call this gentleman Bill. He can retire at any moment he chooses. He has enough years, his house is paid off and he has a good amount saved for retirement. In addition, Bill spends a good amount of time and energy complaining about the job. His age, the cold and the aches and pains of not being a young man anymore.
I inquired with Bill why he doesn’t retire off into the sunset. His answer surprised me. “I don’t want to be bored.” He said. There was a great deal of sadness and resignation in his tone. He went on to explain that he really doesn’t have any hobbies. There is nothing that he really looks forward too. In not so many words, Bill confessed being the the “wake up, pay bills and repeat” cycle for so long he forgot that there was anything else out there.
Hopefully, Bill will find himself once again and enjoy life and family. He is not alone in this circumstance. Many people die shortly after retirement. It is due to a lack of purpose. They tie their identity to their occupation. When that ends, they feel they have no value and no purpose for being. Make sure not to find yourself in this situation. Do not just exist. Make sure to live!
There are so many guides to create success and abundance out there today. Even this site has many posts dedicated to improving your state both materially and financially. Why? In today’s society material wealth will help you create change, improve your health and provides many of the things we need. It is far from the greatest wealth. If you have great financial and material abundance but do not have peace in your soul, your life will be one of stress and misery. The old cliche that ‘money cannot buy happiness’ has a ring of truth to it. If you are not at peace with who you are and the life you are living, no amount of material wealth will make you happy.
One way to certainly add inner peace to your life is to do what the quote above says. That is to simply live with honor towards other people, animals and the earth in general. What does ‘live with honor’ mean exactly? It is not a subject often discussed at length today. Honor may be a word that seems dated. It should not be. Mutual respect towards all, especially those who are different or that we disagree with, is such a challenge many would rather not even think about it. It is that respect that can allow us to sleep well at night.
Mutual respect can be as simple as not causing harm to anyone. This is far more than not slapping that annoying coworker over the head. Harm can be gossiping behind someone’s back. It can be littering on the planet we all share. Yes, that also includes treating others harshly. This can be true even to someone who we may feel deserves it. Have you ever ‘gotten the better’ of someone in an argument and still felt terrible that night or the next morning? That is annoying isn’t it? You had the right to tell them off like you did, but it sill is eating away at your gut. That is because a lack of compassion, even for those who do not deserve it, is not right.
We never can completely know someone’s intent or the experiences or stories that have resulted in the actions they have taken. Another important point to consider is that it is not our right to judge. We do not deserve to be judged by others anymore than we have a right to do the same. Next time you feel the urge to gossip or say something hurtful, ask yourself the simple question “Would I like this very thing to be done to me?” The answer we know before the question is even said. If we cease to do this to others, will it still be done to us? Yes, sadly it will. That is not our concern. There is a saying that “What others think of you is none of your business.” While I think it could be helpful to learn if you are doing something that hurts others, I think it would be more valuable to work on making sure our intent is true.
If you want to be truly wealthy, take a pause from the investments and get rich quick schemes. Instead invest on the things that money cannot buy such as compassion and respect for others and for ourselves. Invest more on building inner peace than you invest on building your real estate portfolio. The dividends will be greater and you will end up with true wealth.
It can be hard to deal with some challenging people. Maybe they are always negative and complaining. Maybe they are impatient or judgemental? One way to look at the situation is ask yourself, “What can this person teach me?” These answers can range from ‘how to be patient’ to ‘what not to be like as a human’. Either way, every negative person in our life brings us a gift in the form of a teaching. We should not miss the gift just because we do not like the wrapping paper.
We will end this on a positive note. Think about how grateful you are for the people who bring light and medicine to your life. This can be someone who always listens. It can be someone who always brings a smile. There are people who just make us feel better by their presence.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 