I like this quote. It is an easy way for us to think when we encounter a challenge in life. It is much like encountering a closed road. We would not throw our hands up and abandon the trip. We should do the same for our life and our goals. We can adjust the route. Maybe take a detour, but keep our eyes on the destination.
This year, let us embrace the detours and see what we can learn along the way. Success is never linear. When we experience a delay, it is not a denial. It just may be a detour. Although these are seldom appreciated at the moment, it may be just what we need.
One of my best skills, and the one I am asked about most often, is the ability to develop rapport with others. For years I recommended reading How to Win Friends and Influence People. That is my favorite book and I have read no less than 10 times. It has some great clues, but did not give the full picture.
Dale Carnegie was not the relationship master I had solely drawn from. The other was notorious for not having good relationships. Clues were exactly what lead to this revelation while I was in the shower moments ago. It seems that is where all of our good thinking happens.
One of my favorite movies of my youth was Young Sherlock Holmes. It gives the childhood back story of one of the world’s greatest detectives. That, my friends, is exactly what creating rapport and fostering great relationships takes! You must become a great detective.
In Sherlock Holmes stories and movies, he always tells you the observations and assertions he uses to solve a case. People are one big detective case in themselves. The more we observe to learn, the better our chances of a great interaction with them will be.
This can be noticing small details such as what their clothes can tell you. Are they using their right or left hand predominantly? What turn of phrase do they seem to use often? They may not give us all of the answers, but can give us clues to explore.
We could spend hours breaking this down, but instead I encourage you to try it out today. Give yourself two distinct challenges. First, pick a person you do not know that well. It could be a person you run into in a service capacity, a coworker or anyone else. Make as many observations on them as you can. Take mental notes and see what they can tell you by putting them all together. Tougher still, try doing this with someone you already know. See what things you can learn that you don’t already know. The better you know them, the tougher the case, but the bigger the rewards!
Treating relationships as cases to be solved may sound rather crude, but it can lead to an astounding deepening of connection. It may also surprise you with how many things you miss. Clues that can make cheering them up, buying the perfect gift and growing closer to them easier than you could ever imagine.
Far too many of us feel that we are victims of our emotions. We allow circumstances determine our emotional well-being. Yes, it is true that I would find it happier to be on a beach in the tropics instead of here in Wisconsin where the temperature has been below freezing for weeks. If I am depressed, it is because I have chosen to be. Instead, could I focus on what i have to be grateful for? Of course.
One of my favorite Bob Marley lyrics compares complaining to prayers to the devil. When we complain, it brings down the mood of not only those around us, but ourselves as well. Without action, complaining is less than useless it is counter-productive.
Gossip is another one. We can choose to talk bad about those we feel deserve it, or we could instead build up those we think are amazing. There are 2 reasons to do the latter. The first one should be obvious. It will make you, and those around you, in a better mood. Even more importantly, is how it reflects on you. They may not say it, but when all people hear you say is negative things about others, they will wonder what you are saying about them when they are not around.
Feel free to read through the first photo and ask yourself what choices you could improve on. None of this means denying reality. It is choosing which aspect of reality to focus on!
This is something I think all of us are guilty of to some degree. I’ve been guilty of it even after I knew better. The irony is that by listening to understand, you are in a position to formulate a better reply.
Listening to understand instead of reply is so rare that it will make you stand out. Showing genuine concern and compassion for others will not only reflect well on you, it will have others reciprocating.
The next time you are feeling frustrated that someone does not appear to be truly listening to you, use that frustration to remind yourself not to do the same. Your friends will thank you. Your spouse will thank you.
On the journey to self-improvement there are many tricky obstacles. One of the toughest is that we share the planet with people who have no intent, or desire to improve themselves. There are those who feel the need to treat others poorly. I have seem a man berate a coffee shop employee because he coffee was 5 degrees too hot. Not only was it almost impossible to tell that exactly, he could have waited a few seconds and it would have cooled down. That is enough to make someone watching that behavior upset. A more constructive approach is to let it remind us of how important our kindness and compassion to retail employees is and how much it is appreciated.
There are those who have no regard or care for their health. This is especially hard to watch if it is someone we care about. If these people persist in neglecting their health and lifestyle, it will remind us how impactful those two things have in our own life.
To me, one of the most frustrating is watching those individuals who make it their life mission to live in a world of self-created drama and terrible decisions. Lack of accountability and any actions towards improving their life can drive you crazy to watch, and certainly to listen to. What every episode can remind us of is how important working on ourselves and our life is.
All of these people can be a challenge, but they can also be a great reminder. We should be grateful when the universe shows us how important kindness, compassion and self-improvement are. These fine folks can be just what we need in our life to motivate us to take the next leap in our own development. Be grateful for the lesson they bring.
This quote from Epictetus really makes it simple. For those of you who do not know, Epictetus was a slave before becoming a philosopher. That is certainly an auspicious start of there ever was one.
Picturing who you want to be is something we should do daily. Keep focused on the individual we wish to see looking back at us in the mirror. Myself, I wish to be staring back at a best-selling author who is changing people’s lives for the better and leaving the world a better place.
Once we get clear on exactly who we wish to be, the next step is thinking about what it will take to get there. Even if we do not know the exact steps to get there, we can focus on the traits this person would have. A best-selling author would write every day. They would focus on developing their craft and vocabulary. This is why, for the last 1300 days, you have seen a blog from me.
This weekend take some time to get clear about the kind of person you wish to be. This is not only professional, but personal as well. Do you wish to be more positive? More disciplined? Then decide what you have to do to get there. It would help to write it down and check in with yourself every morning. Maybe while looking in that mirror? Before long the person starting back at you will be the person you want to be!
It is so important to remember that greatness, and success, are habits. There is a quote that says “it is better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war. ” What that means is that it is better to be prepared for a situation and not have it come, than to be unprepared for an event that is now here.
When it comes to success and greatness, being prepared is so important. We have seen countless celebrities get fame quickly and not be able to deal with it. They end up in rehab or worse. We must practice success in every area of our life. It isn’t just how you do one thing. It is how you do everything. Make sure to keep this in mind next time you are making dinner, cleaning the house or any other supposed little thing. It is in these little things that the seeds of greatness can be found.
I cannot assume you had the chance to read my post on the one Christmas gift I wanted, so allow me to explain the title of this post. No, it is not a recommendation to be extremely materialistic. During Christmas, people asked me what I would like for a gift. Living in a state of gratitude as much as possible, I could not think of anything that would make my life more incredible. I have a gorgeous woman who loves me (see photo above), amazing friends that add greatly to my life, and experiences that bless me in ways I cannot often imagine. Walks in nature and coffee with my mother and friend Nick, fun and laughter with friends, and of course all of the amazing loving moments with my lady.
When thinking about all of the blessings I have, the only thing I could think that I would want, was more of the same. When pondering resolutions for the new year, the same thought came into mind. That thought was simply more. I enjoy making my lady feel special and loved, because she is both. In the coming year I will do that more. My passion is helping people see the greatness inside them and the world around them. This year I am going to work on doing that more. Sharing special moments of love and laughter with family and friends will be done more often.
How can I manage to do more of all these things? It will definitely take more energy. It will take more knowledge as well. How can I gain more energy and more knowledge? By working on becoming a better version of myself. Eating better, working out more consistently and listening and learning more. There is so much material at our fingertips, we can often overlook some of the easiest ways to improve. Eduardo, one of our self-improvement family from Italy recommended a great book on how to improve communication in a relationship. Not only were there great tools and strategies in this book, but it reminded me that there is always so much to learn. Pick any subject and spend an afternoon on Google and YouTube exploring that topic. You will be amazed at what you will learn. Do that for a week and you will walk away an entirely different person.
It is exciting that you can Google, “How can I be a better author?” for example. There will be many ideas for you to explore. Type the same question into YouTube and there will be videos addressing the same subject. Think of the possibilities! You can do this with how to be a better husband/wife, how to be more romantic, how to be a better listener, how to be a better friend and a million other questions. For once, we could use technology in a constructive manner to serve us instead of the other way around. Some of the information we will discover may not be a fit for us, but if you were to spend an hour, five days a week invested in learning on these or any other subject, think of how much further along you would be! That would be over 6 working weeks of time spent on self-improvement! You would only need to do it an hour a day and you could even take weekends off! Do you see how easy it could be to get ahead?
The best way to add ‘more’ to every area of your life and to make each area better is to work on the common denominator in all of those situations. That common denominator is YOU! By becoming the best version of yourself, you positively affect every area of your life. It is as easy as consuming content that is already out there. It does not cost you anything but a small fraction of your time. This should excite all of us in the year to come! I look forward to bringing you more, and better, content in the year to come as I work on improving myself. What areas of your life are you looking forward to learning more about?
It is the first day of the year! 2026 is upon us. Let us start the year with intention. Everyone says “have a healthy and happy new year. ” What do we plan that puts us on the path to doing so?
This day, let us take a few moments to think of what we can do this year to add to our health and our happiness. It does not have to be a grand gesture. In fact, it is better to have something that you can do consistently. A small act that that can add just that little bit of joy, or a little bit of health.
What could these things be? It could be a walk after dinner. It could be taking 5 minutes a day to pause and reflect on what you are grateful for. We will take a closer look at that in the coming posts. What little thing do you feel you could consistently do to add health and joy to your life? Feel free to leave it in the comments below.
Here we are sitting at the end of another year! We all made it through. That itself is an accomplishment! There are many ways in which people celebrate this occasion. Many people go out drinking. Not sure i see the benefit of starting the year with a hangover. To each their own i suppose. Another tradition is creating resolutions. This is better, but self-improvement should be a year-round process.
This year I’m going to start a new tradition. Quite simple. Before the clock strikes midnight, take a few minutes to sit down and record the 3 best blessings that happened to you in the last 12 months and what they brought into your life. You could even purchase a nice journal to do this in every year.
Ending the year with a grateful heart does more for your life than a hangover. Do both is that is your thing. Just be smart and safe about it. You could add things to your journal if you like. Maybe 3 blessings you are looking forward to coming in the new year. Either way, this would make a fun transition from old to new. Tell me what you think!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 