Today, Margie and I will be attending the “Best of Milwaukee” awards ceremony. The bakery she owns with her daughter was nominated for 3 different awards. I cannot tell you how proud I am. They work so hard and deserve the recognition. Being an unpaid employee of said bakery, I get to go along to the ceremony. Our DJ show also nominated for best in Milwaukee. We are so thankful for our supporters in every area.
Although this party will be great from a personal level, it is about so much more than that. It is a celebration of local businesses and people who make a difference in the community. Not only is that vitally important, but the votes were cast by members of that community. Where celebration and involvement come together, that leads to a closer and stronger community. Make sure you take the time to celebrate the people who have positively impacted you and your community. That can be filling out a survey for the business online, taking the time to show appreciation for an employee during the busy holiday season or maybe a positive post about the business on your social media account. All of these do not cost you a single penny, but can mean the world to a business or stressed out employee.
When we celebrate and honor each other, all of us our winners.
The title of this sounds a bit too grand to be true. I thought so at first as well. The plan to achieve anything you want was brought to us courtesy of Earl Nightingale. One of my favorite authors and speakers. Earl was actually a lot more than that and I encourage you to explore his many works. He developed a plan that required no more than 5 hours a week, none on weekends, and can give us anything we want in a surprisingly short amount of time.
Here is the method, short and sweet. Wake up one hour earlier every morning. Yes, I know this sounds difficult. I wake up everyday at 4am, so I can understand. When I tell you what you can accomplish with this idea, you will soon see it is worth it. Make yourself a nice cup of coffee or tea. Whatever you prefer. Sit down with a pad of paper and a pen. Yes, we are going old-fashioned here. There is a reason that makes it more powerful. Write your single goal on the top of the piece of paper. Now, begin to list as many ideas as you can for reaching that goal as your sip your brew. Do not judge them and understand most of your ideas will not be very good. Write them down anyway. All you need is one good idea to succeed. Shoot for 20 ideas a day. Working 5 days a week, this will give you 100 ideas a week. Can you see how the law of averages is with you?
Another benefit of doing this is the fact that it imbeds your goal into your mind, but conscious and subconscious mind. Your mind will be working on it as you go throughout your day. The wonderful idea you are looking for may not come to you in that hour you are working, but may pop into your head on the drive to work, or while waiting in line at the grocery store. By writing with pen on paper, we create a greater mind/body connection. This will help drive our goal into our mind even more.
Bonus idea!!!! While doing this to accomplish goals certainly makes sense, there are other applications that will transform your life just as powerfully. Can you imagine waking up and trying to come up with 20 ways to add love and connection to your relationship? How about ways to show yourself some self-care and inner peace? How about leave a great legacy for those behind you? Imagine trying to come up with 100 ideas a week on any of these subjects? How would that change your life?
I love this quote from Saint Francis. It reminds us that actions speak louder than words. How about you? Do you show consistent character? Do you treat everyone kindly and did not let outside circumstances determine the way you interact with others? I would love to tell you that this is true with me all of the time, but it is not. It must, however, be true often enough for some folks to notice and compliment me on it.
How many of you have children out there? If not children, how many are parents to one of our four-legged friends? Do they always listen when you tell them something? Children go to bed as soon as you utter the words. The dog sitting nicely whenever you tell him to do something? We all know that this is not how the world works. Do they follow you around and mimic your actions? Do they repeat things you say? (the children, not the dog) Even the things that you do not mean to say around them? It is not just children and animals that are this way. When our words do not match our actions we can be thought hypocritical or even worse.
Whatever the ‘gospel’ of your life is, do your best to preach it at all times. Use your words when absolutely necessary.
I cannot convey this point enough. Many of you who follow this blog, or know me in person realize this. In 2022 my life changed forever. I had open-heart surgery, died briefly and was brought back. That whole experience blessed me and taught me more than I ever thought it would. It not only changed my perspective of life, it changed my life’s mission as well. Let us quickly touch on all of these points and how my death can save your life.
From the time I was told I needed surgery until the surgery was scheduled was 2 months. This was done to make the most of the insurance company. A sad but necessary way of doing business. To say that a lot happened in those 2 months would be one of the greatest understatements. First, during a superhero film my beautiful Margie and I were attending I had a great epiphany in the men’s room. This could be the very last movie I had the chance to see with her. Death was a real possibility. It could be the last Thanksgiving, her birthday and Christmas we spent together. It could be the last time we ring in a new year together.
Shockingly, these realizations did not cause a feeling of fear. Instead, what I felt was a great sense of urgency. It felt like while I was there taking care of business in the gents, some divine power flipped over an hour glass and said “You have 2 months and….go!” It brought into focus what was really important in a hurry. How can I help the most people realize all they have to be grateful for in their lives on Thanksgiving. It is, after all, my favorite holiday. Even this blog was started on thanksgiving. How could I make Margie’s next birthday the best one she has ever had? Speaking of Margie, how can I convey my love for her in the way that she can understand and feel it the deepest? How could I do that with everyone in my life?
It was a moment of forced self-reflection. It did not involve trying to get material things or travel to specific places. No, what was really important was creating memories with those I cared about and making sure they knew how much I cared. Then, there were the thoughts about my life and the legacy I would leave behind. Did I do enough? What could I leave behind in the next 2 months? Could I write another book? Should I spend that time writing blogs or making YouTube videos? What should I say that will have the greatest, and longest lasting impact? All good questions.
When the surgery happened, it was the second wave of Covid, and I could have no visitors. Therefore that trip to the hospital could have been the last time I saw, and hugged my mother and Margie. The feeling I had watching the elevator doors close behind them as they left is too painful to describe. Then there was the strange feeling of realizing I had died and been brought back. I had more time.
Here is one of the most impactful things I had learned. We went to get lunch at a Panera after I was released from the hospital. I was warned that my emotions could be more intense after the surgery. This was also an understatement. As we entered the restaurant, a realization hit me. All of these people would die. It could be tomorrow, next week or years from now. We never know. So many of us never ask the tough questions the specter of death brings to light. Being faced with death is the one thing that has given me the most life.
Imagine what your life would be like if you were given a few months (or less) to live? Really imagine. Who would you want to spend time with? What would you want to do? What would be important to do? Once you have that answer, do that now! As Marcus Aurelius said, “Death hangs over you.” It hangs over us all. We never have as much time as we wish. We often do not have as much time as we think.
There are many pressing questions to answer in life. This is, however, one of the better ones. This is for a good many reasons. By answering it we both add service to both ourselves and others. I suggest we spend a good deal of time pondering this question often. The benefits of doing so are reduced stress, clarity and well-defined purpose. It also greatly increases the chances that we will turn out to be a decent human being.
Let us take a look at how this all plays out. First, by examining what we are doing for others, we make sure that we are indeed doing something for others. It will assist us in not living a self-centered sort of existence. It may help to open our eyes to more opportunities to positively impact the lives of those around us. Are we making the most of the gifts we are given? This can also help us gain clarity and purpose in where our lives are headed. This can greatly reduce the stress we are feeling. There is yet another benefit to pondering what we are doing for others.
When we are thinking about what we are doing for others, we are focused on them and their issues and how we can be of benefit to them. This, if only for a moment, stops us from dwelling in the misery of our own problems. When we do realize that others have problems, it can help put our own in perspective. When we do come up with a way in which we can be a service to others, it gives us a feeling of value and purpose. This mindset can also help us with our own issues.
Last post we discussed how a mere 6 inches can make a huge difference in the world. If you haven’t had a chance to read it, you might wish to take a peak. The more I thought about it, the more that holds true in relationships as well. I almost titled this post “6 inches makes the difference in relationships” but that certainly could be misinterpreted. Do you best to get that thought out of your mind and let us move on.
Having a successful relationship is not as difficult, or as complicated as many would have you believe. Setting up some great communication and respect is all it really takes. You can have an ordinary successful relationship. My guess is that if you are reading this that would not be enough for you. Someone reading a site called “Secret2anamazinglife” would most likely want an amazing relationship. This is also not as complicated or difficult as you may think. There are a few basic mindset changes to make. By making these mindset changes, you will automatically take actions that will lead to relationships that are deeper, healthier and more productive for both parties.
How do you take your relationships from ordinary to extraordinary? The answer is in the words themselves. How to you change the word ‘ordinary’ to ‘extraordinary’? You simply add a little extra to it. This is exactly how it works in relationships. Perhaps your spouse asks you to stop at the store to pick up an item for them. Why not pick up a little surprise? Do not know what they would like? There is a good place to start, by listening. When they ask you to help them with something, try doing it with a smile and doing a little bit extra.
These may seem like obvious actions to take, but there are more subtle ones as well. As we briefly touched on above, why not practice listening more. This is not listening to respond, but to understand. Listen to learn. Our partners, or any relationship for that matter, will tell us what they like and dislike and what makes them happy and unhappy if only we would listen. Think of all the ability you would have to improve your relationships if you knew the other party’s likes and dislikes? Their favorite movies, books, places to eat, things to do for fun and anything else they would share. This will also make gift giving a lot less stressful for you as well.
Sometimes the extra can be time. Spending that little extra time thinking about the other person. What makes them happy? What can you do to make them happy or to take away some of their stress? One of my favorite things to do is to spend that little extra time thinking about everything you have to be grateful for in regards to this person. Then, you can think about how you would like to express this gratitude. Let me assure you that expressing genuine gratitude for someone and everything they bring to your life is some of the best ‘extra’ you can do. Do not take my word for it. Try it yourself!
Go the little bit extra. Whether that is a little extra silly or creating memories that even get you on the news, put a little extra effort in. That extra will take you from ordinary to extraordinary! On the top of your list should be thinking of what you have to be grateful for and how to express it!
Take a look at all of these items. They are all roughly 6 inches long. For me, the easiest to picture is roughly the length of a pen. Not very big at all. This can be the difference between being a decent human being or making the world that much more difficult for others. Can the length of a pen really make that much of a difference? It can and I would love to share with you how this became evident to me. Forget ‘going the extra mile’. For most of us, all it would take would be 6 inches.
I was out having a wonderful rare afternoon off with my beautiful lady. She wanted to go shopping to look for a few things. The store we went to had the shopping carts just inside the entrance. I had not noticed them on the way in as we took ours from in the parking lot, saving the person bringing them in at least one cart. After we spent some time shopping, I was waiting by the carts while she checked out. What I noticed shocked me. The carts were in the middle of the entrance making it difficult for customers to enter the store. It was not that there were too many. It was because people had pushed them into the general area, but did not push them into each other. The amount each cart would have to have been moved? You guessed it, 6 inches. I strolled over and pushed them all together. It took me less than 2 minutes. The space was clear and people could safely enter the store.
As we left the store, the 6 inch rule held true. It is a busy little strip mall. Including many stores that my lady would love to visit. As you can imagine, there are also a good deal of cars there. It was a brisk day and I am sure many people would have loved to park close to the store. Some may even had difficulty walking. If you looked at some of the cars, they were not quite between the lines. Some a mere 6 inches over. The time it would have took for them to correct this would have been less than a minute. Instead they left their car as it was. This means that the spot next to them would not be available to use. Someone would have to walk further in the cold, or if they had trouble walking, struggle a good distance more. Why? Why do people not go the extra 6 inches?
It can’t be to save time. The parking fix would take less than a minute. For me to arrange all of the carts in the store took less than 2 minutes. Sure, a little bit is due to pure laziness. What the main challenge is, however, is the lack of respect for our fellow humans. We are all agitated when we can’t find a parking spot, but see a few that have been lost due to some unenlightened soul parking 6 inches over the line. Maybe we bang our side on a shopping cart left in the middle of the entrance to the store? All of these moments would take us no time at all and only require us to go the ‘extra 6 inches’.
When we think of changing the world and making it a better place for everyone, we often think of grand gestures. Nobody thinks about putting away their shopping cart or making sure their parking job leaves room for the next person. It is not a little extra effort on your part. It is that little extra respect we can show for our fellow humans. 6 inches can change the world. It can be for the better. It can be for the worse. it is up to us to decide.
Many people ask what the secret of success tothe success of my relationship with my beautiful lady is. It is not just focusing on how to create more happy moments, although that is important. Equally important is knowing what to do when the sun doesn’t seem to be shining on your love.
Knowing how to handle the “valleys” of a relationship is just as important as celebrating the “peaks”. Take a look at the list above. It is a good set of rules to have in place to ensure your love lasts a lifetime. Tell me what are some of the rules you have for disagreements that keep your love strong?
Has anyone ever told you, “You have changed.” Usually, it is not a good thing. They are attempting to bring to our attention that a behavior or attitude that we used to have is changed. That makes most people uncomfortable. This holds true if our new behavior or mindset is contrary to the one they knew us to have. Perhaps you used to be the life of the party. You could drink a few beers, slam a few shots and would just take the next day off of work. Now, you drink water, are focused on your fitness and show up to work on time. If the person hung around with you before, it might make them uncomfortable to deal with the change. This is even more true if they have stayed the same.
Many people fear being left behind by friends who evolve. In some cases this fear is legitimate. If you are looking to change a behavior, it is quite helpful to no longer associate with individuals who engage in that behavior you are looking to leave behind. If you were formally close to that individual, it can be a little painful for that to happen. If you are the person worrying about being left behind, it can not only be painful, but scary as well. That is why they will tell you that you have changed with an attitude of making you feel as though you are not being authentic to yourself. Part of this is them transferring their fear and disappointment in their own progress on you.
A greater reason for people using the phrase, “You’ve changed.” is our inability to communicate our feelings. There really should be a class taught to us when we are young on how to properly say the often difficult things that we feel. Just yesterday I heard it said that “They tell you that you have changed because they do not know how to say you have grown.” That is something we must understand, growth takes change. If we stay the same we can stay stagnate. The picture above captures it beautifully. To become a butterfly, we cannot remain a caterpillar. Growth can be painful and many may accuse us of changing who we are, but just remember that is because they do not know how to tell us that we have grown.
Many of you know how important being grateful is to an amazing life. We will skip the new-age metaphysical aspects of this, although they are important, and stick with practical reasons this is so. When you focus on what you have to be grateful for, you are on the lookout for just that, things to be grateful for. It stands to reason that if you are looking for them, you are more likely to find them. What would happen if you started seeing more things to be grateful for? Your life would feel more amazing. That makes sense, does it not?
Another thing to consider is when you express those feelings of gratitude. When you let the person helping you at the coffee shop know that they are appreciated. How do you think your service will be next time? When you come in they will think to themselves, “There is the person who said they appreciated me.” If you know you are appreciated, how will that make you act? You will probably want to do more for someone who appreciates you than someone who does not. Imagine how this could work with your friends, or even more so with your romantic partner? The more you appreciate them, which will make them feel good, the more they will feel like doing things to be appreciated. This exchange will then give you more to appreciate.
I am hoping you can see how gratitude really can give you more to be grateful for. It is not some strange esoteric principle, but really a matter of exchange that benefits all parties. Considering this, why would you not want to be more grateful and do so more often?
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 