I am so grateful for all of the support I have received through my writing career. Many people are unaware that there are so many ways to support an author. Many of which do not involve spending any money. If you have read and enjoy a book, why not post a review on Goodreads, Amazon or another site? Attending a book event, even if you do not purchase shows support. How about purchasing books as gifts for friends and relatives? Checking a book out from a library improves the ranking of that book in the library system.
When it comes to being both an author and a blog writer, noting beats sharing these posts. It brings us in contact with people we could not otherwise reach. If you enjoy the writer’s content, why would you not want to share it with others you know? It may give another compelling topic to discuss next time you get together! Contacting writers and letting them know how much you enjoy their work is very motivating. Writing is a very solitary profession for the most part. Knowing what you write makes a difference and enjoyed will give you the motivation to keep writing. That is worth it’s weight in gold!
If you have a friend that is a writer, or content creator of another kind, make sure to support them. Your support may be just what they need to continue creating. Never underestimate the effect of your support!
Wow! This is a good one. How many of us fall into this trap? At one time or another, probably every single one of us. It gives birth to all sorts of cliches such as ” The grass is always greener on the other side.” We continually postpone our happiness. Thinking it will find us over the next horizon. The hard truth is quite the opposite. The grass is really greener where you water it. The next horizon may contain new joys, but it will also contain new challenges. That is why ‘Destination Addiction’ is so dangerous. It can be facilitated by advertising convincing us that we need the next great thing. Social Media, where we compare our challenges to other’s highlights further pushes us in the wrong direction. Thinking our life does not compare to the life of those around us.
How do we overcome Destination Addiction? By changing the question we ask ourselves daily. We spend as much as 90% of our time on the journey and only 10% at the destination. If you had the choice, which would you rather work on making happier? What is the question we should be asking ourselves to make this switch? “What can I do to find, or create happiness right now?” In every situation there is the possibility to find some sort of happiness or the opportunity to create happiness. While it is true that certain circumstances are far easier to do this in, the truth is that our intention and mindset can make every situation a possibility for joy. Even if it may be difficult to find joy for ourselves, we can have the opportunity to create for others. Guess what that would do? Seeing that you have brought joy to another makes you feel….happy! Therefore, even in the struggle, even in the challenge, there exists the possibility of joy.
Have you ever thought of life in this way? Have you ever asked yourself the question we stated above, “What can I do to find, or create happiness right now?” Personally, I can confess that I have not done it enough. That should make us happy. It means we are leaving a lot of happiness unexperienced! There is so much more joy we could discover, and more important, experience, in our life! How exciting is that thought. Try asking yourself this question at least once a day. Whether you do it when things are going well, or if you try it when things are a little tough, you will add more joy to your life. That should be reason enough to do it!
Last post we spoke about how a simple change of mind can radically transform your life. Todays, post is an example of that. Here is a thought that sheds a new light in a way to look at an old idea. Friendship. We can look at friendship as the blessing it is. We can look at our friends and family as a sort of network, and that is true. Have you ever considered that people in your life are a connection to an entire different world? It is true! Let us shift this and think of ourselves for a second. Think of an average day in your life. What time you wake up. Where do you wake up? Who, if anyone, do you wake up with? Do you go to a job or take care of a household? Do you travel or work from home? Then there are all of the personal questions. Do you start your day with water, coffee or tea? What are your morning rituals? Do you even have any? Who are the people you deal with every morning?
Think of your closest friends. Their day no doubt, starts different from yours. Chances are they do not live in the same house as you. They might not even work at the same job. How about someone in a different area of the country? They might wake up to different weather or at a different time. Now if we expand that out to a different country, what is life like for that person? They, more than likely, eat a different breakfast. Their commute looks different. Customs and routines are different. It is like an entirely different world. This brings with it several good points to consider.
Everyone we come in contact with, both friends and strangers, live an entirely different world than us. Even if they live in the same city. They have grown up differently. They have had different experiences. I think we can all agree on that. Which should give us a little more compassion and understanding when it comes to those we share our world with. In addition, this should be exciting. When you interact with someone, you are getting a glimpse into an entirely different world! It is like traveling to a different universe without leaving earth. Their experiences, the people the do and the thoughts they think are unique to them. We should not only seek to understand that difference, but relish in the opportunity to experience it! Have you ever thought of friendship in this way?
With Monday fast approaching, everyone is thinking of the battles they have to face. Getting up and out of bed when we would rather not. Dealing with traffic and coworkers we would much rather do without. How many of us consider the greatest battle of all; the battle against ourself? Even the previously mentioned challenges are more a battle of our perception, than our actual reality. Changing our mindset and our heart is what will change our life. That is certainly easier said than done. Fighting that battle is what will give us that amazing life we have been seeking.
On the surface I realize that this may sound a little like self-improvement mumbo jumbo, but let us pause and take a look at it. Start with having to get up early and get out of bed when we do not want to. I start work at 4am, and have to leave the most beautiful woman behind, so trust me when I tell you that I know the struggle. Here is what else I know. Four years ago I died briefly. It is with great fortune and grace that I am still here. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about that. Another aspect to consider is that I have a job. There are so many that are hurting and looking to make ends meet. Is it the perfect job for me? Absolutely not, but it is one that allows me to pay the bills and pursue my passions of writing as well. The lovely lady that I have to leave? Each morning that I feel sad to leave her, I also am grateful she is there. Having someone you love that much in your life is a blessing. Even if you do not have a job yet, or a wonderful relationship, you do have life. The potential to improve is there every day. It can be gone in an instant. Make the most of it while it is here.
Looking at the other two items we mentioned, commute and coworkers, they also can be viewed differently and therefore felt differently. My morning journey to work is about 35 minutes give or take. That all depends on traffic and the ever present construction. In addition to the fact that I am alive to experience the commute, I think about the world we live in. There are paved roads, we have climate controlled cars and public transportation. Yes, roads can be bumpy and filled with potholes, but it sure beats dirt or no road at all. Do we all have our dream vehicle? Maybe not, but it beats having to ride on horse through rain and snow.
You may be tempted to dismiss all of this as a mere change in state of mind. It is, but that is the point. Developing this change will transform how your life feels. Can you imagine how that change of focus could affect your life? Is it easy to do? Of course not. That is why it is a battle every day. Is it worth it? It is as valuable as digging in a mine of pure gold! What are some of the ways that you can improve your mindset?
These two may seem like an odd combination, and indeed they are. I do not know of anyone who put beet root powder on their taco. Here is another question. Which one is sweeter? If you know even a little bit about food your answer would be the beets. In fact, beets can even be used to make sugar. The most important question we can ask is “How are these two items the secret to a great relationship?
Before you go out and stock up on bottles of beet root powder (the one in the picture is my personal favorite) or get all your fixings for tacos, may I suggest you read a little further. Here is a confession. These two items by themselves are not the secret. It is what they represent. To better explain, let me share a personal story of the last few days. My lovely lady underwent a medical emergency last week. It was a good reminder that health is the ultimate treasure. It is with a great deal of gratitude I can tell you she is doing well. It did remind both of us to pay a little better attention to our health.
The following day, I was out running errands with my mother and my lady cooked the most delicious and rather healthy meal. She made us lettuce wrap tacos with ground turkey. They were beyond delicious. Not only is she beautiful, loving and a great cook, but she was kind enough to make us both a healthy dinner even after her health scare. I was so grateful and let her know how much I appreciated her efforts. More importantly, I sat with that feeling for a little bit. Just looking at the beautiful woman I share my life with and thinking how grateful I was for this loving and kind act of making this dinner.
This morning, she was making her return to the gym. I knew she would be a little nervous, maybe even scared, and wanted to do anything to help that I could. She drinks a combination of a pre-workout with beet root powder before every workout. If you haven’t tried beet root, it has been shown to increase your aerobic capacity. Do your own research and talk to your doctor, but it works for us. When she woke up to discover that she no longer had to put this concoction together, and there was a cold one waiting in the refrigerator for her, she was grateful and told me so. It made me happy to know she appreciated my efforts, but even more that it made her day a little better.
Here is the important thing to note about all of this. We have been together for many years and still enjoy doing things like this for each other. Not to ‘pay the person back’ or to ‘score some points’. No, we do it because we genuinely love and care about each other. Both the act and the appreciation are what keep our love going and growing. How about you? When was the last time you did an act just out of love? When was the last time you not only expressed your appreciation to your partner, but sat down and felt it?
It is no secret that I enjoy writing in coffee shops. One of the ones that I frequent is a Starbucks not far from my house. It is both convenient and friendly. Recently, they were told to start writing messages on cups to make it feel more like a ‘personal experience’. Probably a good idea. It is always good to make a customer feel more like a friend than a number. The message on the cup above confused me a little. Why did they feel compelled to tell me that “different is good”? Do I come across as a ‘different’ kind of individual? The conclusion I came to is that they were giving me inspiration on what to write for this post.
Different is good. Far too many of us are overly concerned with fitting in. We look online and to others to discover what is the latest trends. We spend a lot of money on items not for superior quality, but because the brand is what is hot currently. If you asked someone if they would like shoes that are comfortable and would last, or ones that have the ‘cool’ logo on the side, what would they answer? Logic would dictate the former, but most often people choose the latter. Same with character and behavior. We do and say what all of the ‘cool kids’ are doing and saying instead of what we believe to be the right thing to do. Being kind to and associating with those who may be struggling, is that the cool thing to do? It certainly is the right thing to do. If people look at you as different, that just means you are being true to your character. You are different. We all are. Being an original makes you far more valuable than just being another copy.
Same Starbucks when I went a few days later with my mother for an iced coffee. Completely different message, but one that was inspiring just the same. Both of these messages were very nice of the employees to write on our cups. Both very encouraging. It started me thinking on what messages are we putting out in the world? Is it one letting someone know that there difference is not only ok, but makes them special like in the first picture? Perhaps, much like the second picture, we are just letting someone know that we believe in them and they are loved? Both of those are powerful and beautiful messages.
How about you? What message are you putting out there? You might not be an employee in a coffee shop writing messages on customers cups but you do not have to be. Most of us deal with people in our profession in one way or another. What kind of message are we putting out to them? Even in our private life, what greetings do we give a stranger? Do we acknowledge them at all? There are so many opportunities to spread messages of hope, compassion and love. Are we taking advantage of them? Even wearing a shirt with a simple and inspiring message can go a long way. There are certainly no shortage of clothing with sarcastic, or uninspiring messages. Let us be the sunshine in someone’s day. What message are you spreading and how are you doing it?
What we surround ourselves with, both people and environment, go a long way in influencing what we think the reality of the world is. It can be hard not to consume all of the information that is being forced at us through a variety of different media. Especially when the world is as crazy as it is right now. I know this is something I have to do better with myself. This is not advocating ignorance. It is just a call to not inundate ourselves with it. A little goes a long way with the news. It is like listening to chicken little tell you that the sky is falling. Sooner or later you are bound to start thinking the clouds are getting a little lower.
There are so many beautiful spots in nature to enjoy. Being out in the natural world, especially if you disconnect from technology for a bit, helps you appreciate all of the beauty that surrounds us. It can be a great reminder that we need when life becomes too busy. When you are out exploring, take time to visit natural areas. Above is a photo I took when Margie and I had visited Negril Jamaica a few years back. It is in a region called Fern gully. All of the places we stay are gorgeous to be sure, but it sure was nice to get out to a peaceful natural area. Seeing different plants that are not native to the region we live in, as well as birds and animals, was so exciting while at the same time peaceful. Just as it is important to get to know local people, I think getting to know local nature is just as important.
You may not be in the financial state to be able to afford an exotic vacation. Not to mention that you should not wait to explore nature until then. Quite the contrary. You should surpass your consumption of news with how many trips into nature you take. Fortunately, for most of us there is nature not that far away. Neighborhood parks and trails provide an opportunity to get lost in nature without leaving your own neighborhood. Above is a picture of the path my mother and I were walking on last year in a local park. As you can see, there was plenty of nature to be observed that day.
Another great opportunity to view nature is to befriend someone who also enjoys exploring nature. This works great whether that person lives near you and can recommend great spots to explore, or if they live further away and share their pictures of places they explore. A great member of this community, Eduardo, lives in Italy and shares many great pictures of the places he explores. I feel like I share in his adventures when I look at them. It is also a great picture of the natural beauty that exists in his corner of the world.
How about you? Can you think of a place of natural beauty to explore and take a break from all of the crazy news out there? Even if exploring is not your thing, or if you are physically limited, you can sit on a park bench and watch the nature around you. Take in the sights, sounds and smells of the natural world. Your soul and spirit will leave refreshed and better able to take on the world. Not to mention your perception of the world will be much improved.
The other day, our fine friends and WordPress, the platform on which this blog is hosted, sent me this little congratulations. It is nice to be sure, but the total is actually over 3000 posts between 5 and 8am. The funny thing is that it was still nice they noticed we are accomplishing something here. I hope it encourages them to have this site viewed in many more locations. This will help our community of driven and wonderful souls looking to better the world and become the best version of themselves to expand into new corners of the world. This brings us to the next couple of notifications I received.
These two notifications came the very next day. One right after another. In actuality, we are viewed in over 200 countries. Again, it was nice to see that they recognize this, but it did not change how I feel about doing these posts. As I mentioned above, the more places we reach, the more this community can help each other. When I write, I think more of just you. That is right. You, the person reading this post right now. We may not know each other personally, we may even be halfway around the world from each other. What I think about it talking to, and caring for, one person at a time. My writing is not to change the world, but to positively affect one soul at a time. In doing so, I believe that is my best shot at positively affecting the world.
Outside accolades are nice, but they should not be the driving point as to why you are pursuing your goal. If your goal is focused solely on you, outside accolades, or lack there of, will drive or curtail your performance. If your goal is for a purpose bigger than yourself, your motivation is in the goal itself. Find the goal and do not let whether the outside world pats you on the back decide if you want to keep going. Work for your purpose.
We touched on this thinking a few posts back with the story of my untimely, and fortunately temporary, death. What is really important in life has very little, if anything, to do with material goods. Beyond the basics of food, clothing and shelter there can only be so much joy to be found in excess of material goods. The irony is that is what a lot of us spend our time and energy pursuing. We work overtime at work to buy a bigger car or a name-brand this or that. These luxuries cannot be taken with us. The ancient Egyptians tried and their stuff is still sitting in the desert. One of my favorite quotes is from Denzel Washington. He said, “You will never see a U-Haul behind a hearse.” That is uncomfortably true.
When we are facing our final days, never are we laying on our death bed wishing for a bigger house or car. No, we would wish for more time with friends and family. In fact, time is the most precious of all the commodities of life. It is with a great deal of irony that we spend little time or energy to make sure we are making the most of whatever time we have. The amount none of us can be sure of. Doing things like living a healthier lifestyle. Reducing stress, eating fairly healthy and making sure we move will not only add life to our years, but could quite possibly add years to our life.
We covered two of the luxuries listed above. What about good company? I love that one. In a world where we are the slave to distraction, why not spend some energy and effort on being more present? It will help us enjoy our good company better. If we are present, we will catch little things that our friends share with us we might otherwise miss. When people leave our lives, we always find ourselves wishing for more time with them. One of the worst emotions to have when we lose someone is regret. “I wish I would have enjoyed the time I spent with them more.” we catch ourselves saying. This only compounds our feeling of loss. How much better would it be to know that we made the most of our time that was given to us?
How about the luxury of a quiet mind? In a world that moves at a mile-a-minute, a quiet mind is priceless. As an author who is currently writing about four different books, some peace and quiet with the voices in my head would be wonderful. How much time to we spend on developing peace of mind? Things like daily meditation and other stress reduction methods are investments in the luxury of peace of mind. So is working on not holding grudges, forgiveness and developing an attitude of gratitude. These are luxuries that we can use every day of our life. These are worth spending our time and money on.
Recently, Margie and I went on a week vacation. It was a memory worth investing in. It captured time, good company and peace of mind. It did, however, require us to be present with each other and what was going on around us. If we would have busied ourselves with thoughts of the obligations we had to return to, complained about the rain or if our food was not done right, it would have been a wasted expense. It is skills Margie and I have worked to improve with every vacation we go on. Our next one should be our honeymoon. We better be present for that one. Invest in the true luxury of life. What other luxuries do you think should have made the list? Share them in the comments below.
This is a good quote to keep in mind. Many people, when confronted with disrespectful people, want to ‘get back at them’. That is easy to understand. They hurt your feelings, so you want to hurt theirs. If you are a person who wants to live an amazing life that is not the way to go. When someone insults you, it is worth keeping in mind that it makes them look petty and rude. That is, unless we respond in kind. Then, we are the ones who look petty. In the moment it can be very unsatisfying to show respect to someone who does not deserve it. It would be so much more fulfilling to return with an insult of our own. Long-term, this would be a poor reflection of our character.
How can you remember or think of such things in the heat of the moment? That is why studying and memorizing quotes like this can be helpful. Putting them into our minds before we find ourselves in challenging situations can help us respond in a fashion that is a better reflection of our character. That is why it is a great idea to find quotes that help you develop your character and get them inside your head. What are some of your favorite quotes that can help improve your life and character? Please share them with all of us in the comments below.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 