Tag: Neil Panoisan

1 THING YOU NEED FOR A SUCCESSFUL LIFE

“Who is this charming and handsome man?” you may be asking yourself. This is what I look like when I am supposed to be writing. At this moment there was a little flash rainstorm and I was looking out watching it. What was even more important was where my head was at. I was thinking of my life. Not only was I just pondering it, but I was thinking of all I have to be grateful for in it. I was sitting inside, dry and comfortable. I was working on my fourth book. At least that was what I was intending to do. My mind was filled with these positive distractions.

Many of us, myself included, view these moments as a mistake. Perhaps a hiccup on the road to productivity. The ironic thing is that we, as a society, need more moments like this. We are so busy trying to get so much done that we do not give ourselves the one requirement that would help us the greatest. That requirement is time to sit and think. With all that I have going on in my life, I do not take this time enough. I work 40+ hours a week at my day job, DJ on the weekend, write this website and, as mentioned above, am writing my fourth book. Moments of relaxation and contemplation are viewed as some sort of guilty pleasure. That is the emotion that comes up often when enjoying a moment of cerebral solitude – guilt. This time could be used for doing something productive. It could even be used to spend time with the woman I love. At the very least, I could use it to catch up on the sleep I never seem to fit into my schedule.

Here is the crazy part of all of this. This unproductive time will help me do everything better! Many of the best ideas for writing that I have came to me in moments where my mind was free to express them. That is true for both the website you are now reading as well as my books. As far as my relationship goes, that was one of the things I was thinking of. My lady had sent me a picture of her earlier and I swear she looks younger and more beautiful every day! She is amazing cook and we are going to have a great meal tonight! Do you think spending a few minutes thinking thoughts like that are likely to help or hurt my relationship? It will not only make me feel good, but increase my gratitude for both the relationship and the lady I share it with. By allowing these thoughts to manifest themselves while I am awake, I may even be able to sleep a little better. Have you ever laid down at night, your body ready to collapse, only to have your mind be flooded with a million thoughts? That is because they finally have a chance to manifest themselves. We are so ‘busy’ during the day we never have time to listen to our own thoughts.

Do yourself a favor today. Spend a few moments just sitting and thinking. You will be amazed at what might pop in your head! If you want to level up even more, maybe jot it down in a journal. It is like having a conversation with yourself. Will people think you are crazy? Perhaps. Just remember there is a thin line between genius and insanity. Looking at the picture above, I am not sure which side of the line I fall on. What I am sure of is that giving my mind time to let loose will only improve my life and it will do the same in yours!

HOW TO BEGIN HEALING THE PLANET

It sure is a crazy world out there today! We have many countries at war with each other. Even inside the same country, political parties seek to divide us so that we are easier to conquer. It can all seem pretty helpless at times. I even heard a coworker remark, “I have to turn on the news to hear who I am supposed to hate today.” The line was said in a half serious tone, but the point is valid. Some people are really being lead to hate others they have never, and may never even meet. We are told that people of certain belief systems are bad. People from a certain country, or even a certain side of town.

All of these opinions are as ridiculous as they are incorrect. Whether we dislike someone or not should be based on their actions and not on what we are told we should believe. Often countries at war are disagreements between leaders and not the people suffering the violence. In fact, if we take political leaders out of the equation, there would be far less division and war. Why is that? Given the chance, I believe we can find common ground with our fellow brothers and sisters that share our planet with us. We may disagree, but seldom, without outside motivation, do you want to kill your neighbor.

A great way to begin to heal this planet, and all of the craziness in it, is to heal ourselves. Begin by being honest about the hurt and pain we are still healing from personally. Give yourself the time and resources needed for that healing. Let it be reflected in the way we treat others. Do not fall for all of the propaganda. Get to know your neighbor and make your own decisions. Find healthy ways to disagree. Learn about other cultures that are different from your own. Expand your world both physically by traveling and mentally by exposing yourself to more knowledge. Travel and information are the enemies of hate. The more we heal ourselves, and our world, the more we heal the world at large.

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT TO BE GRATEFUL FOR THIS?

There are so many things in the world to be grateful for. Once you start thinking about, and noticing all you have to be grateful for, you realize it is near limitless. One thing that many of us fail to consider is to be grateful for the freedoms we have. They exist in different degrees in different parts of the world, but we have far more than we ever stop and consider. The freedom of expression in a big one. You are reading words and thoughts that come from my brain to share with you. I have written three books full of expression. (Feel free to search “Neil Panosian” if you would like to pick one up) People paint, sculpt, cook, bake, design streets and towns. There are landscape artists as well. The world of expression is a broad one.

The freedom to eat what we want, travel where we want and dance how we like. There are so many freedoms that we have. I recall listening to a video where a man was walking in the rain and he came upon a bird. He asked himself, “Why does this bird not go somewhere more pleasant?” After all, birds can just fly away. Then he realized that he was no different. What is to stop us from leaving what weighs us down and chasing after our dreams. It is the biggest freedom of all. If we master this freedom, we can accomplish so many great things. If we fail to master it, we may end up its slave with less freedom than ever. Living in a cage of our own making. What is this freedom? Let us look at another quote to full grasp it!

Before we get into this freedom, we should preface it by saying the man who said this quote was in a concentration camp during world war II. If anyone knows about losing your freedom, it would be someone in a place so evil that few alive today can even imagine it. The freedom we are talking about is the freedom of thought. So many of us do not take full advantage of this freedom, or worse yet give control of it to circumstances and other people. You are mad and cannot concentrate because someone treated you harshly? You have the freedom to not let your thoughts allow you to go there emotionally. Watching the news got you down? You have the ability to think differently. There is even an area in which the freedom of thought is most important.

In many places of the world, and sadly we are starting to see this in the United States, your freedoms can be taken away. What then? What if someone tells you who you can or cannot love? How about where you can or cannot go? That is when the freedom of thought is most important. That is why it is important not to give that power up. Maintain your ability to think for yourself. Guard the entrance to your mind. Nobody can enter there without your permission. You may not to express your thoughts as you wish, but nobody can stop you from thinking them. Dream your dreams. Do so in private if you have to. Do not give up! Keep your mind and your thoughts free.

CHANGE 1 THING AND LIFE FEELS BETTER!

Self-improvement, personal-development or whatever term you choose to use can be a complicated affair. It need not be. Searching in your local library or bookstore the ‘self-help’ section can seem overwhelming. Where do you start? I wrote 3 books on the matter myself. They are filled with great tools and strategies that will improve the life you are now living. If you are interested, feel free to search ‘Neil Panosian’ and pick one up. That being said, there is a simple way to begin to live a more enjoyable and fulfilling life starting right now. You need not purchase a book, seminar or anything else. All it takes is a change in mindset.

As you can see in the photo above, it is more accurately a change of focus. As humans we are programed to focus on what is wrong with our life. That can be helpful. It can also be extremely detrimental. When our focus is exclusively, or even primarily on what is wrong, we can be left feeling heavy and defeated. Life can feel like something we have to ‘make it through’. This is a terrible way to go through life. A simple shift can lighten that load and make our life more enjoyable.

Many people call this change in focus “Looking at the world through rose-colored glasses”. That is but one way to look at it. Changing our primary focus on what continues to go right in our life is not denying that there are things that need work. What it does acknowledge is that in any life, there is still plenty of things to be grateful for. Will this help you fix and improve your life? The answer is a surprising ‘Yes’. Will being grateful that you only have a flat tire and not a more expensive repair fix the tire? No it will not. What it will do, however, is keep you in a better frame of mind. It will make the effort to change the tire, or the time waiting for someone to come and do it that much more enjoyable. To that end, you will treat those who help you with more gratitude and appreciation.

NEW MANDATORY CLASSES?

To begin this, I must state that I am a supporter of those in the education system. It is my opinion that being a teacher is one of the most noble and important professions one can be involved in. Shaping the minds of future generations is a great responsibility. That being said, the public education system itself could really use an update. Graduating school knowing how to calculate the surface area of an ellipse, but not how to craft a family budget does not seem very practical. Paying taxes, time management and other daily subjects seemed to be skipped over. Yes, math and science are very important. So is knowing how to manage your health. In a world where obesity is growing at an alarming rate, why is this not more a focus?

Even more important is the issue of mental health. We live in a generation that does not often include a healthy family base. More often than not, both parents are working outside of the home to make ends meet. Men especially are not taught about the proper way to address and communicate their emotions. Issues of domestic violence and depression can find their roots in emotional disconnect. Imagine if we were taught a class on what to do with the anger we feel? How about how to communicate during a passionate disagreement? That is why I enjoyed having Mr. Rogers around as a kid. He taught children how to deal with difficult subjects such as these. Another reason that How to Win Friends and Influence People is one of my favorite books. It teaches the art of personal communication.

Many of you may be tempted to say, “That should be the parents responsibility.” In an ideal world, you would be correct. In addition to having both parents working, as mentioned above, many of these parents do not know these skills themselves. How else to break generational curses than to show the youth a new way? This is why I am always happy to hear that a young person gets one of my books or joins this community. Being able to connect and share ways to live a healthier and more fulfilling life at an early age sets people up for success. That is not to say we should limit this to the young. If you find yourself having difficulty as an adult, brushing up on some fundamentals may not be a bad idea.

Rather than blaming the way you were raised, or using it as an excuse for your poor behavior, learn that there are better ways. It does not make you any less to admit your behavior could use a little improvement. Quite the opposite. Working to become the best version of yourself means that you must admit there are some areas that are not quite there yet. It is true of all of us. Learning self-improvement and life-fulfillment skills will not only make your life better, but the world at large better too! Feel free to share this website with as many as you can. Let us learn and share life lessons as we go through this world together.

10 WAYS TO SUPPORT AN AUTHOR

I am so grateful for all of the support I have received through my writing career. Many people are unaware that there are so many ways to support an author. Many of which do not involve spending any money. If you have read and enjoy a book, why not post a review on Goodreads, Amazon or another site? Attending a book event, even if you do not purchase shows support. How about purchasing books as gifts for friends and relatives? Checking a book out from a library improves the ranking of that book in the library system.

When it comes to being both an author and a blog writer, noting beats sharing these posts. It brings us in contact with people we could not otherwise reach. If you enjoy the writer’s content, why would you not want to share it with others you know? It may give another compelling topic to discuss next time you get together! Contacting writers and letting them know how much you enjoy their work is very motivating. Writing is a very solitary profession for the most part. Knowing what you write makes a difference and enjoyed will give you the motivation to keep writing. That is worth it’s weight in gold!

If you have a friend that is a writer, or content creator of another kind, make sure to support them. Your support may be just what they need to continue creating. Never underestimate the effect of your support!

BEWARE OF THIS ADDICTION

Wow! This is a good one. How many of us fall into this trap? At one time or another, probably every single one of us. It gives birth to all sorts of cliches such as ” The grass is always greener on the other side.” We continually postpone our happiness. Thinking it will find us over the next horizon. The hard truth is quite the opposite. The grass is really greener where you water it. The next horizon may contain new joys, but it will also contain new challenges. That is why ‘Destination Addiction’ is so dangerous. It can be facilitated by advertising convincing us that we need the next great thing. Social Media, where we compare our challenges to other’s highlights further pushes us in the wrong direction. Thinking our life does not compare to the life of those around us.

How do we overcome Destination Addiction? By changing the question we ask ourselves daily. We spend as much as 90% of our time on the journey and only 10% at the destination. If you had the choice, which would you rather work on making happier? What is the question we should be asking ourselves to make this switch? “What can I do to find, or create happiness right now?” In every situation there is the possibility to find some sort of happiness or the opportunity to create happiness. While it is true that certain circumstances are far easier to do this in, the truth is that our intention and mindset can make every situation a possibility for joy. Even if it may be difficult to find joy for ourselves, we can have the opportunity to create for others. Guess what that would do? Seeing that you have brought joy to another makes you feel….happy! Therefore, even in the struggle, even in the challenge, there exists the possibility of joy.

Have you ever thought of life in this way? Have you ever asked yourself the question we stated above, “What can I do to find, or create happiness right now?” Personally, I can confess that I have not done it enough. That should make us happy. It means we are leaving a lot of happiness unexperienced! There is so much more joy we could discover, and more important, experience, in our life! How exciting is that thought. Try asking yourself this question at least once a day. Whether you do it when things are going well, or if you try it when things are a little tough, you will add more joy to your life. That should be reason enough to do it!

A WORLD OF POSSIBILITIES

Last post we spoke about how a simple change of mind can radically transform your life. Todays, post is an example of that. Here is a thought that sheds a new light in a way to look at an old idea. Friendship. We can look at friendship as the blessing it is. We can look at our friends and family as a sort of network, and that is true. Have you ever considered that people in your life are a connection to an entire different world? It is true! Let us shift this and think of ourselves for a second. Think of an average day in your life. What time you wake up. Where do you wake up? Who, if anyone, do you wake up with? Do you go to a job or take care of a household? Do you travel or work from home? Then there are all of the personal questions. Do you start your day with water, coffee or tea? What are your morning rituals? Do you even have any? Who are the people you deal with every morning?

Think of your closest friends. Their day no doubt, starts different from yours. Chances are they do not live in the same house as you. They might not even work at the same job. How about someone in a different area of the country? They might wake up to different weather or at a different time. Now if we expand that out to a different country, what is life like for that person? They, more than likely, eat a different breakfast. Their commute looks different. Customs and routines are different. It is like an entirely different world. This brings with it several good points to consider.

Everyone we come in contact with, both friends and strangers, live an entirely different world than us. Even if they live in the same city. They have grown up differently. They have had different experiences. I think we can all agree on that. Which should give us a little more compassion and understanding when it comes to those we share our world with. In addition, this should be exciting. When you interact with someone, you are getting a glimpse into an entirely different world! It is like traveling to a different universe without leaving earth. Their experiences, the people the do and the thoughts they think are unique to them. We should not only seek to understand that difference, but relish in the opportunity to experience it! Have you ever thought of friendship in this way?

THE BATTLE OF A LIFETIME

With Monday fast approaching, everyone is thinking of the battles they have to face. Getting up and out of bed when we would rather not. Dealing with traffic and coworkers we would much rather do without. How many of us consider the greatest battle of all; the battle against ourself? Even the previously mentioned challenges are more a battle of our perception, than our actual reality. Changing our mindset and our heart is what will change our life. That is certainly easier said than done. Fighting that battle is what will give us that amazing life we have been seeking.

On the surface I realize that this may sound a little like self-improvement mumbo jumbo, but let us pause and take a look at it. Start with having to get up early and get out of bed when we do not want to. I start work at 4am, and have to leave the most beautiful woman behind, so trust me when I tell you that I know the struggle. Here is what else I know. Four years ago I died briefly. It is with great fortune and grace that I am still here. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about that. Another aspect to consider is that I have a job. There are so many that are hurting and looking to make ends meet. Is it the perfect job for me? Absolutely not, but it is one that allows me to pay the bills and pursue my passions of writing as well. The lovely lady that I have to leave? Each morning that I feel sad to leave her, I also am grateful she is there. Having someone you love that much in your life is a blessing. Even if you do not have a job yet, or a wonderful relationship, you do have life. The potential to improve is there every day. It can be gone in an instant. Make the most of it while it is here.

Looking at the other two items we mentioned, commute and coworkers, they also can be viewed differently and therefore felt differently. My morning journey to work is about 35 minutes give or take. That all depends on traffic and the ever present construction. In addition to the fact that I am alive to experience the commute, I think about the world we live in. There are paved roads, we have climate controlled cars and public transportation. Yes, roads can be bumpy and filled with potholes, but it sure beats dirt or no road at all. Do we all have our dream vehicle? Maybe not, but it beats having to ride on horse through rain and snow.

You may be tempted to dismiss all of this as a mere change in state of mind. It is, but that is the point. Developing this change will transform how your life feels. Can you imagine how that change of focus could affect your life? Is it easy to do? Of course not. That is why it is a battle every day. Is it worth it? It is as valuable as digging in a mine of pure gold! What are some of the ways that you can improve your mindset?

THE SECRET TO A GREAT RELATIONSHIP? TACOS AND BEET ROOT POWDER OF COURSE!

These two may seem like an odd combination, and indeed they are. I do not know of anyone who put beet root powder on their taco. Here is another question. Which one is sweeter? If you know even a little bit about food your answer would be the beets. In fact, beets can even be used to make sugar. The most important question we can ask is “How are these two items the secret to a great relationship?

Before you go out and stock up on bottles of beet root powder (the one in the picture is my personal favorite) or get all your fixings for tacos, may I suggest you read a little further. Here is a confession. These two items by themselves are not the secret. It is what they represent. To better explain, let me share a personal story of the last few days. My lovely lady underwent a medical emergency last week. It was a good reminder that health is the ultimate treasure. It is with a great deal of gratitude I can tell you she is doing well. It did remind both of us to pay a little better attention to our health.

The following day, I was out running errands with my mother and my lady cooked the most delicious and rather healthy meal. She made us lettuce wrap tacos with ground turkey. They were beyond delicious. Not only is she beautiful, loving and a great cook, but she was kind enough to make us both a healthy dinner even after her health scare. I was so grateful and let her know how much I appreciated her efforts. More importantly, I sat with that feeling for a little bit. Just looking at the beautiful woman I share my life with and thinking how grateful I was for this loving and kind act of making this dinner.

This morning, she was making her return to the gym. I knew she would be a little nervous, maybe even scared, and wanted to do anything to help that I could. She drinks a combination of a pre-workout with beet root powder before every workout. If you haven’t tried beet root, it has been shown to increase your aerobic capacity. Do your own research and talk to your doctor, but it works for us. When she woke up to discover that she no longer had to put this concoction together, and there was a cold one waiting in the refrigerator for her, she was grateful and told me so. It made me happy to know she appreciated my efforts, but even more that it made her day a little better.

Here is the important thing to note about all of this. We have been together for many years and still enjoy doing things like this for each other. Not to ‘pay the person back’ or to ‘score some points’. No, we do it because we genuinely love and care about each other. Both the act and the appreciation are what keep our love going and growing. How about you? When was the last time you did an act just out of love? When was the last time you not only expressed your appreciation to your partner, but sat down and felt it?