Tag: Self-Help

WANT TO FEEL YOUNGER? TRY TIME TRAVEL!

Isn’t this a nice idea? Want to be younger? Just go back in time! Look at the picture of a young Neil above. Back then I didn’t have any aches or pains. I didn’t feel like taking a nap at two o’clock in the afternoon. I was certainly more flexible. I know what you are thinking, “Neil, time travel is not possible.” Other than certain celebrities who seem not to age, for the rest of us this may be true. Then again, it might not. There was a study, I apologize for not being able to find the exact information, on a group of elderly individuals. They created a town that mimicked everything from their youth. The movie theater showed movies from when they were young. The music they had playing was from their era. The restaurant had dishes that were popular when they were young. What happened? After a period of time, their telomeres lengthened. Those are the the ends of our chromosomes that indicate our aging. Longer telomeres are related to a more youthful appearance and feeling. The question is, how can we lengthen our telomeres, or at least keep them from getting shorter?

According to this study, surrounding yourself with stuff from your youth will help. This idea occurred to me when I found myself listening to some songs from when I was younger. Not only was I taken back to that period mentally, but it seemed to give me a little extra boost. Same can be said for watching movies, television shows and even commercials from when you were young. Have you ever felt that? You watch a movie, listen to some music or maybe even go to a restaurant that reminds you of your youth and suddenly, you start to feel a little younger? Maybe a little spring in your step or smile on your face? That brings us to a few other things you can do to help maintain, or recapture your youth.

If you search about how to lengthen your telomeres on the internet, it will tell you a diet rich in beans, legumes, nuts and seaweed will help. I don’t know about you, but there is only so much seaweed I can eat in one sitting. There are two other activities that I find more enjoyable than sharing lunch with a manatee. The first is brisk walking. Going for a brisk walk is one of the healthiest things you can do. If you happen to walk in nature, there are even more benefits. Now, we learn it can also help make you younger. I can hear my mom celebrating this news as she is reading it. Here is something else that my mom, myself, and I am sure many of you can celebrate as well. Coffee has also been shown to help with the length of your telomeres. Coffee helps you stay young? I was very happy to read this news. I am sure they do not mean the 40 cups a day the author Voltaire drank. I am guessing he did most of his writing sitting on a porcelain throne. For the rest of us, a cup or two a day just might to the trick to keep us young.

Here is the last secret to regaining your youthful spirit. Do your best to surround yourself with young people. People who can find the joy in life. People who can just act silly. People who are young and young at heart. As you can see, I have one silly lady to call my own. Margie always has a silly comment or action that is only a moment away. Conversely, stay away from people who will make you older. You know the ones. The “whoa is me” people. The ones who are always complaining or telling you how awful the world is. There are certain people that after listening to them, you can end up exhausted. Do your best to stay away from those folks. They could literally be sucking the life out of you. Instead, spend more time with people who will make you laugh. People who will always find the good in others and the world around them. It may save your life. It certainly will extend it.

Time travel itself may be a few years off, but with these tips and tricks we can feel young. This will if not add years to our life, add some life to our years! I would love to hear anything you do that helps you feel more youthful.

MID-WEEK MAKEOVER 🥕🍅🫑🥒

Here we are, mid-week. Your energy might be starting to slip. I know that happens to me. It is time to ask ourselves some tough questions. Are we relying too much on stimulants to keep us going? Are we using a 5 hour energy for our salad dressing? Are we even having salad? Maybe we are choosing convenience over quality for our food choices? Who has time to make a meal at home when you can just swing by and pick up a burger? Are the foods we are eating robbing us of energy and more importantly, our health?

Our diet is one of the things that can affect every area of our life. The wrong foods can make us feel sluggish and bloated. They can cause inflammation in the body and give us aches and pains. The wrong food can lower our immune system and make us more vulnerable to a whole host of different illnesses. I understand that choosing healthy options can be more expensive, both on the wallet and on the clock. Ask yourself what they alternative is. Are we trading our time and money for health and true energy?

It is not all doom and gloom. Food can be some of the most helpful tools to live an amazing life. You do not have to be on a strict diet, or even the latest fad diet. If you find your energy starting to slip mind week, or you are starting to feel run down, it might be what you are feeding yourself. An important question to ask yourself when choosing what to eat is, “Am I eating this for fuel or for entertainment?” In other words, are you eating something because you love the texture, the taste or even the fun packaging and the little cartoon characters that do the commercials? Perhaps thinking what would fuel your body and provide the nutrition it needs to run the best it can would be better? Being healthy make take some thought, and some prep, but it pays off in the long run.

Like all of the areas in life you are trying to improve, it is better to start by adding something healthy than sacrificing something bad. From a psychological standpoint, you feel less like you are depriving yourself, or having to ‘give something up’. From a scientific standpoint, your stomach is only so big. This means, the more you fill it with healthier meals, the less room you will have for the entertaining foods. Soon, you will find yourself making the entertaining foods the exception and not the rule.

Look up some healthy recipes today. Start with one meal. Replace the junk you are putting in your body, with something that will nourish it and help it serve you the best. Make sure you are getting enough fiber and water. Try to pick some foods that are gently detoxifying. That way you will help your body help itself. When you are pouring stimulants in a body that is full of a terrible diet, it is like putting premium gas in a car that has no oil. Eventually, you are going to break down. Remember to ask yourself if you are eating for pleasure or for health and fuel. It is ok to eat some things for pleasure. Just make sure they are the exception and not the rule. Feel free to share any healthy dishes you enjoy. Especially ones that give you a little boost of energy.

DON’T RUN FROM IT, RUN THROUGH IT🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️

When you are facing a tough challenge in life, it can be very tempting to run away from it. That will not facilitate growth of any nature. It is not our fault that we are predisposed to do this. Our brains are wired to avoid pain. I have learned two things about the storms of life from Les Brown, one of my favorite speakers. He said you are in one of three situations. You are about to enter a storm, you are in the middle of the storm, or you are just leaving a storm. This may sound a bit doom and gloom, but there are always challenges in life. Another thing he said is that there is too much pain in life to duck. No matter where you hide, it will find you. Don’t want to pay your credit card bill? They will find you and chances are, you will end up owing more.

The above quote from Wilma Mankiller seems counter intuitive, but it really is a secret to reducing stress in life. Your brain may be screaming “Get me the hell out of here!” That is the opposite of what you want to do. By running away from a problem, you only prolong it. Not to mention, you have the stress of knowing the challenge is still hanging over you. Conversely, if you run headlong into the challenge, you actually shorten its duration. It may be uncomfortable at first. No, actually it will be uncomfortable. The stress you will go through initially, will reduce the stress you feel long-term.

It can be so tempting to run from your problems, but doing so only makes them last longer and become bigger. Face them. Run through them like the buffalo. You will find that your life contains a lot less stress than if you would spend it trying to avoid problems. As an added bonus, you will have tremendous growth of character that you would not get by avoiding the storms of life.

TO FIND THE BLESSING, FIND THE HUMOR.

I think by now most of you know that I am not a fan of winter or winter weather. We were doing pretty good making it through with not much in the way of snow and cold. Then, in the space of a week, we received almost a foot of snow followed by temperatures well below zero! It was so cold, even the sun took a vacation, which did not help anyone’s attitude. If you walked outside for any length of time, you ran the risk of your nose freezing shut. For someone who enjoys sand beaches and palm trees, this was a little hard to take.

In any situation, I recommend finding the lesson and the blessing. Asking yourself the questions “What is positive about this?” and “How can I use this?” Thinking about the permafrost that was once my backyard, I was having difficulty finding anything to enjoy about it. Even my car was not to thrilled to be out in the elements. Then I saw the picture above online. It not only made me laugh, it brought up a good point. The roads here are filled with holes from the plowing and road salt sitting on the concrete. When it snows and freezes, it fills the holes and, for a little while, the road is actually smoother. Do not get me wrong, I still would rather be laying on a beach chair under a palm tree, but this makes the cold a little easier to take.

How about you? Is there something that you really do not enjoy? Have you asked yourself the two questions, “What good can I find in this?” and “How can I use that?”. If you are having a tough time, try using your sense of humor. It can often shed light on something that at the very least will make you laugh. It may even show you a positive way of looking at something that previously you could find no positive. If you have any examples, please share!

YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE BECAUSE OF THIS🤔

Pick a situation in your life. It can be one you are happy with, or one you are not so thrilled with at the moment. Now, here is the fun part – start thinking backwards. The quote above is very true. We are where we are in life because of the choices we have made. This is a good thing. Taking responsibility for where we are gives us control. Many people confuse responsibility for blame. The two are not the same. When you blame someone, or something, for where you are, you give them or it control. When you take responsibility for your life, you assume control over it. What I meant about thinking backwards is looking at the decisions that have taken you to where you are currently, whether that is good or bad.

Even bad situations leave a key to success. Think about what decisions have left you where you are. Maybe you were not disciplined enough in your health and now you find yourself out of shape, or in a healthy crisis. Maybe you didn’t show up for work on time and now you find yourself on probation or looking for work. If you did not act loving and compassionate to your partner, you might be looking for a new valentine. Most people stop here. They might even stick around and beat themselves up over it. This gets us nowhere except feeling bad about ourselves.

Instead, look at how you can make better decisions next time. This is where the difference in blame and responsibility come into play. If you say, “Well, I couldn’t make it into work on time because they kept changing my schedule.” or “If the boss would have been nicer, I would have been more inclined to be there.” How about, “My partner was always nagging me so I snapped.” If you put the blame on others, you are more likely to make the same mistakes next time. Let us face it, finding the perfect schedule, boss or partner is impossible. If we did, they might not keep us around because we are not perfect. We also will feel helpless and not control of your own life. When take responsibility for your own role in your life, you know you can change it. You can show up on time, even if they change your schedule. If your partner does something to irritate you, there are better ways to communicate that and change it. You have control over all of those things.

Harry Truman, one of my favorite presidents, had a sign on his desk that said “The buck stops here.” Meaning, he was in charge of the country, so for good or bad, it was his responsibility. Imagine a politician with that attitude these days! We have been looking at how negative situations can be a great teaching tool, but what about positive ones? We can look at what decisions have helped us arrive there as well. Did we help someone in need and now they have helped us? Maybe we put in the work on a project and now we find ourselves done ahead of time and with a little freedom? We really worked to better ourselves and now we find we have more friends and our spouse is more in love with us than ever! We must look at what positive decisions we made. To take it to another level. See if you can apply these good decisions to an area of your life that may not be working so well. If you have been paying compliments and showing appreciation to your coworkers , but things are not going so good at home, maybe try being a little more attentive there. If you have been doing your 20 squats every day, but you are weeks behind on writing your fourth book (hypothetically) then apply making small efforts every day to that.

Taking responsibility for your lot in life is not blaming yourself. It is taking responsibility and control of your own life. It is using what you can learn from both the good and the bad to make the best out of the life you have left. What decisions have you made that you can learn from?

THE SECRET TO GROWING AN AMAZING LIFE 🌴

Here we are again, talking about daily habits. Why is this such a hot topic lately? It is because, as John Maxwell puts it, “The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” We have been discussing habits, routines and daily actions a lot here lately. We have seen how a seemingly insignificant action (20 squats) done over the course of enough time (200 days) can have a huge impact. Think of turning on your facet to just barely drip. Then place a glass underneath it. By the time you wake up, you will have a nice glass of water ready to drink.

We have been using this method to accomplish things such as keeping up with a healthy fitness habit. It can be used for things far greater. Let us look at your relationships. This could be coworkers, friends, family or your intimate partner. One of the ideas we gave for sticking with your habit was to set an alarm on your phone to remind you. What if you set an alarm for 5 minutes after you left work to remind you to give your spouse a sincere compliment? What if you set it for 5 minutes before work to remind yourself to show your coworkers signs of appreciation? It may not make a difference in the short-term, but hearing a sincere compliment or appreciation will strengthen and grow that relationship. Trust me, I use this myself. I no longer need to set an alarm, as it has just become part of a daily practice. Still, it doesn’t hurt to have a reminder.

Even if your compliments fall flat. Even if your signs of appreciation may seem…well…unappreciated, the effort will not. Your daily sincere compliments or signs of appreciation, or squats for that matter, are showing that you are trying to bring a better version of you to the table. That will always make you more attractive. Not to mention those squats will do wonders for your backside! Daily habits are the key to success in any endeavor. Think of what daily habits you can use to set yourself up for success!

THE TRICK TO STICKING WITH GOALS

A few posts back, we spoke about making changes in your life. How easy it is to do a small change for a consistent period of time. In doing so, you create a major change. One of the examples we used was doing 20 squats a day. In one day, you probably would not notice a difference. In a week, you sill might not notice much, other than a soreness from using muscles that you haven’t used in a while. However, done over 200 days, which was the example we used, there would be a major difference.

Recently, someone mentioned they had forgot to stick with their squats already. This is understandable. Life is crazy for us these days. It seems we have 25 hours worth of stuff to do in 24 hours. Somewhere we also have to fit in sleeping. It is also easily correctable. There are a few things you can do that will make sticking to a routine easier than ever. The first one you might be holding in your hand right now. In fact, you could be using it to read this very post. Your cell phone. We seem to have them with us at all times. They may get in the way of healthy in person relationships, or compromise some people’s driving, but we can put them to work for us. Using the example of the squats, let us see how this is done. First, pick a time you can count on fairly regularly. Then set an alarm for that time. Most cell phones will make it a daily alarm. When the alarm goes off, you are reminded to do your squats.

Here is another great idea. Put your friends to work for you. Don’t worry, you won’t have to pay them anything. In fact, it works even better to put your critics to work for you as well. I am talking about putting yourself out there. Let everyone know what you plan to do. Tell friends and coworkers. One great way is to put it out on social media. This is kind of like throwing yourself under the bus. You are letting everyone know what you plan to do and they will be watching. Your friends to see how you are doing. Your critics to prove that you won’t stick with it. Both are good motivation.

The last idea for making it easier to stick with your goals, I do every single day. That is prepare the night before. If we wait until the action must be completed, many things can keep us from taking the actions we need. We could be pressed for time. We could not have our workout clothes clean and ready. A million valid excuses can come up. The way to beat them, and set ourselves up for success, is to prepare ahead of time. My goal was to eat oatmeal for lunch during the week. I like it with a little cinnamon and nutmeg. Occasionally, I toss some dried fruit in as well. I also get up for work at 4am. If I waited until then to pack my lunch and get my coffee together, my counter might look like the picture above. I also would probably forget the oatmeal and just stop for some unhealthy food by my work. So, I get the coffee machine all ready the night before. I get my oatmeal with the cinnamon and nutmeg ready. Even a little bag of dried fruit. Then, in the morning I just grab and go!

Sticking with goals, even small ones, can be difficult. I hope taking these steps will help you with your commitment. I know they work for me, I hope they will work for you. If you have any tricks that help you stick with your goals, please share them with us so we can all benefit.

ONLY 2 WAYS TO LIVE YOUR LIFE ✌️

I ended my third book with this quote. It is an interesting truth. Mr. Einstein was one of the smartest people to grace our planet and I have to admit he came up with a good one here. Going through my surgery and brief flirtation with death did give me a new perception on things. Leading up to the surgery, I think was even more profound. I am going to share this with you in hopes that you will not have to be sawed in two like I was to be able to see everything like a miracle.

How do we begin to see everything as a miracle? We take this bit of advice from another wise soul, Dr. Wayne Dyer. Changing the way we look at things is such a valuable tool that many of us do not use often enough. Let us start with a big one – life. In my book, The Beat Goes On, I share a story about being at the movies with Margie 2 months before my surgery. As we were watching superheroes rid the world of a host of evil villains, it occurred to me that I could be dead a mere 60 days from now. That may sound morbid, and a bit scary, to some of you. It wasn’t to me at the time. What it did serve to do was give me a swift kick in the rear end. Time was ticking. The sand was falling through the hourglass. I looked at Margie and realized that every second ticking by was one less I would have with her. If I only had 2 months, what did I want to tell her? What did I want to do together? How did I want to make her feel? Life had never felt so precious to me. If you want to hear more of this story, I highly suggest checking out my book.

It should be pretty obvious, but just in case it is not, I made it through. It would be tricky to be writing this if I didn’t. What I was left with was not only a really cool scar on my chest, but that sense of urgency. What I realized is that every day, every second is still one less that we get to spend with each other. Not just Margie and I, but everyone in my life. We never know how much sand is in the top of the hourglass, or how much time we have left. All we know is it is less than it was before. When you lay down and night, realize one more day on the planet has ticked by for you. Did you use it well? Were there some things you could have done better? Think of what did go right and the fact that you made it through. Give thanks for that. Really feel that sense of gratitude that your ticket was not punched that day.

When you wake up tomorrow, give a big stretch and be grateful that you made it to another day. Then, realize that the sand is still flowing through the hourglass. How are you going to make the most of this day? Are you going to do something to build your legacy? Are you going to take some time to relax and enjoy the beauty of nature? You could explore the world of a new book. How about telling someone how much you truly love them? Time is ticking. Get every drop out of the juice of life. Live your life as if everything is a miracle, because it really is.

I DON’T HAVE TIME ⏰️

Be prepared! This post will have some uncomfortable truths in it. We have reached the end of January. Those of us who have set goals for the new year are hopefully still committed to them. If we are not, why is that? One of the top excuses I hear about why people don’t commit to improving their lives is that they “Don’t have time.” Let me fill you in on a little bit about yours truly. With my daily commute, I work 55 hours a week at my day job. I DJ with my beautiful lady on Sunday night. We have had a daily blog for 210 days straight now. I am also working on my fourth book. While doing this, I make it to the gym at least 3 days a week. How can I get all of this done? Easy, it is important to me.

When people tell me they do not have time for things, or that they simply ‘can’t do it’. I answer, “No, you just haven’t made it a priority.” When people say that they can’t be a morning person, I ask them, “If I would give you $1000 every day you woke up at 6am, where would you be at 5:59?” Why could you get up early then? It was a priority. You knew you were going to gain something. Nobody is offering you $1000, but do you know what you could accomplish with an hour of focused activity first thing in the morning? It would be priceless. There is a great book called Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. Great book. I highly recommend it. In this book, Hal outlines a great morning routine to transform your life.

I can tell you a few things that will change your life if you decide to make your life a priority. How about 15 minutes of reading something informative or inspirational? Multiple that by 260 days if you don’t do it on weekends, and that is a lot of learning. How about 15 minutes of some sort of stretching or exercise? Again, multiply that times 260 and you will definitely see a difference in your body. How about 15 minutes of repeating an empowering affirmation or looking at your vision board? Multiply that times 260 and it will be sure to affect your emotional well-being and state. How about sitting calmly and meditating for 15 minutes? Again, done for 260 days and you will have a great deal of inner peace, less stress, and be better able to handle life’s challenges. You could do all of those things in an hour, 5 days a week and your life would be dramatically improved. We know this to be true. Still, we don’t do it. We may say we are too busy or that we can’t get up early. If we are honest with ourselves, we are not making our life, and ourselves the priority it should be.

This post may hit a little close to home for many of us. Understand it is not coming from a place of judgement, but one of caring. We must make our lives, and ourselves a priority. We must do so now. Why? If we wait until we have a life emergency, it will be too late. Develop a routine to strengthen your life. When life’s challenges show up at your door, as they do for us all, you will be ready and better equipped to face them. It is my sincere desire that everyone develop a sense of urgency for making their life the best it can be.

CAN YOU SEE A YELLOW CAR 🚕?

We have discussed this many times before. This is not only the key to the Law of Attraction, there is real science behind it. Using the part of the brain called the reticular activating system, which filters what the brain deems important, makes all of the difference in the world. Anecdotally, we see it when we buy a new car or outfit, and suddenly see many people with the same car or outfit. It is just what your brain decided was important.

If we know this happens with cars and outfits, why do we not take advantage of it for more important things? When I urge people to focus on what they have to be grateful for, or what is positive in their lives, this is the reason why. It is not being ignorant to what may not be going well. Indeed, we can use that to better clarify what it is we do want. What it does do for us is reveal more and more things that we have to be grateful for or that are a positive in our lives. It also works in reverse. Every have a bad day at work and when you come home you notice every little annoying thing that your spouse does? Normally, these wouldn’t even bother you. Perhaps you even snap at them when they don’t deserve it? How about if you have a disagreement with your spouse before work? How is the day at the office going to be that way? Productive? Singing kumbaya with your coworkers? I would imagine not.

Enough doom and gloom here. Let us practice thinking positive! What happens when your partner starts the day by showing you a loving gesture? You go into work and don’t even mind if the boss is yelling all day. You are just looking forward to coming home to more of that loving feeling. Maybe you have a great day and work and a relaxing drive home? Then if your spouse seems to be a little more sunshine challenged than you, it might bother you as much. You might even be able to lift them up as well. Why? You were feeling good.

Take having a good start to the day. Maybe you get a hug from that special someone? Maybe your dog snuggles up to you with a cute look on their face? Maybe you just had the perfect cup of coffee? Whatever it is, you leave the house with a smile on your face. You start to drive to work and notice songs you like on the radio. Oh, and what is that new little place to eat that you have never tried? Wow, the trees sure are a pretty shade of green. This may all sound a bit silly, but it is really how our brain works. The crazy thing is that we leave this up to chance most of the time. I did a video on my YouTube channel a few years ago called “Waking up in neutral” We need to act more in life, and react less. Set a determination to have a good day. Read something positive and inspiring. Recite some empowering affirmations. Have your happy playlist set to go. Whatever it takes. Start your day on a positive note and commit to staying focused on the positive. Life will feel like magic.