There are many axioms that I use to help myself live an amazing life. These are the ones shared on this website, the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast, as well as my books. One of my favorites, that was featured in my second book, Living the Dream, was the power of two questions. Whenever I find myself in a challenging situation, I ask myself to empowering questions. First, I ask myself, “How can I use this?” This takes the challenge from being a liability to being an asset. If you can use a challenge in some way, than it has become a gift. The other question I ask is, “What is good about this?” This question comes second because it can often be hard to see what is good initially. After finding a way to make it work for us, it can be a little easier to find something positive in it.
These questions have served me quite well over the years. They have helped me through many of life’s challenges. We are going to introduce another question that was brought to my attention that I am going to add to my repertoire. As I was posting one of my blogs on LinkedIn (feel free to follow me at the link below) one of my connections had mentioned a question they use in their life. That question is “How can I use this to serve others?” What a beautiful thing to consider! My life’s mission is to help others become the best versions of themselves. If I could find a way to use my challenges to do just that, they would cease to become challenges at all. They would then become tools to use to serve others and the greater good.
How about you? Do you have empowering questions that you ask yourself in challenging situations? How about adding the one my connection on LinkedIn brought to my attention? Actually, using all three of the questions we mentioned here will make challenges something that you use, instead of something that uses you.
In life we all have many challenges. One of mine is the weather where I live. Especially in winter. It seems the older I get, the harder it is to deal with the cold and snow. This year, I vowed to make the best of it and try to maintain a more positive outlook. For a while, mother nature seemed on board with this. The weather was unseasonably warm, and the snow was slight. My attitude seemed to remained elevated. This was good news for my family and friends. I thought to myself, “Neil, you just might do it this year!” Then, mother nature had a wicked grin.
I leave for my day job a little after 4am Monday to Saturday. This morning I woke up to over a foot of snow. As I trudged my way to where my car was parked, I saw it also was covered in snow. Upon reached my car, I discovered it was more ice than snow. Nothing starts the day off right like spending ten minutes chipping ice off your vehicle just to climb inside. Once inside, I began to defrost the windows. Once they were clear, I headed out. Trying to focus on the fact I was grateful to have a vehicle that ran. The plow that went through left a small ridge of snow in it’s path. I had to cross it to get out of the parking lot. As I did my car erupted in a chorus of sounds. None of them were very friendly. It would appear the snow had damaged some vital part of the exhaust. This happened on a Saturday. My mechanic is not open until Monday.
Driving around with a car loud enough to wake the dead is embarrassing enough, but now the temperature, which was doing just fine, is going to drop to ten degrees below zero. This makes my loud car, should it start, quite necessary. It would appear that my resolution to maintain a positive attitude is receiving quite the test. I must remember that is what the world does. I refuse to let it get the upper hand. This is not done alone. My friend CJ jokingly reminded me that some kids are trying to make their cars louder, in essence, I just gave myself a free upgrade. My friend Kurt offered his mechanic. Of course my lovely lady and her smile will keep me warm on the inside. There are my self-improvement skills I not only teach, but practice myself, that will keep me humming along.
All of this serves to remind me that tests are a part of life. They give our resolve strength. They require us to change our focus on what we do have to be grateful for in order to make it through them. It also gives us a platform to demonstrate to others, by our example, that they too can make it through their challenges. When we embrace life’s challenges and put them to work for us, we grow. When we let them get us down, we become less of who we could be. I am going to do my best to grow from this challenge and I invite you to do the same with the challenges in your life.
This may be an analogy that has been repeated all too often in self-improvement circles, but it has value in repeating. As you are given a safety talk in an airplane, they tell you to secure your oxygen mask before helping other around you. Why? You are really unable to help anyone if you are unable to breathe yourself. How many of us forget to apply this common sense knowledge to the rest of our life? It is easy to put our own mental, and often physical, health at risk for the benefits of others. Done long enough and we could have a breakdown, either a mental or physical.
Here is something else to consider. A slightly different lesson to be had in all of this. Do you know what happens when everyone puts their own masks on? You have a bunch of people breathing. That is always good. What happens if you have a plane full of people who are more concerned how Bob puts on his mask, or how Betty’s hair looks when she places the mask over her face? Suddenly, they find themselves struggling with their own breathing.
In a quick recap, here are the two lessons to be had in our airplane service talk. First lesson. If you do not take care of your own mental and physical health, you will be ill-equipped to assist anyone in theirs. Dare I say, the better your mental and physical health, the better you will be able to help others. This being said, an investment in yourself is also an investment in the well-being of those you care about. Second lesson. Focusing on others lives instead of your own, only causes pain and suffering for yourself in the long run. Make sure your life is in order before spending too much time worrying about what Bob or Betty are doing in their lives. Sense our life is one never ending journey to improve ourselves…you guessed it…don’t worry about what others are doing. Just focus on being the best version of yourself and you will have an amazing life.
I want to share with you a lesson I learned and some examples that came to my mind when I heard it. I was listening to some motivational/inspirational videos while on my way to work. This is a practice I recommend for everyone. You never know when you will either hear something new, or a reminder of something powerful you already know. This one falls into the latter category. In this particular video, the speaker referenced a quote from Jim Rohn, who I enjoy anyway. I am going to share that quote with you below.
The pain of discipline verses the pain of regret. Discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons. We can all grasp what that means to a certain point, but I wanted to give us a few real life examples to drive the point home. The first one that came to mind was eating pizza. Why? Mostly because I am always thinking of eating pizza. It is my favorite food to eat. If I could, I would probably have it seven days a week. Here is the thing. Eating pizza tastes good in the moment. It gives a quick boost of the ‘feel good chemicals’ in the brain. Putting off the urge to stuff your face with a delicious slice of sauce pie in favor of something slightly more healthy is not as fun. It takes…you guessed it, discipline. That’s a little painful. Say, ounces. If we are constantly giving in to the urge to eat pizza, or just unhealthy for that matter, we may feel good in the moment. Fast forward a year or so down the road. Our clothes have to be in a larger size. When we get out of the shower and look in the mirror, our hearts sink. We don’t feel as confident out in public. That is merely the outside. Inside, our arteries are clogging. Our heart is being forced to pump harder and our liver is working overtime dealing with the processed food. We can find ourselves depressed about how we look daily, or in the emergency room dealing with a heart issue. Then we would feel…regret over our choices. That ways a ton.
There will be actually two more quick examples. This can help us grasp this concept better and see where we are paying tons instead of ounces. Working out is another great example. Going to the gym is not fun for most people. It is stressful on the body, you get exhausted (although you actually gain energy on the back end) and you get sweaty and gross. (except for my lady who manages to look amazing after a workout) Taking time to go to the gym and spending the effort to put in a workout takes discipline. Especially when you really don’t feel like it. A life devoted to sloth and binge watching Netflix sounds more appealing on the surface. That takes very little discipline. You don’t have to pay those ounces. What happens as you grow older? Your bone density weakens and you are more likely to fracture something should you fall. It takes you far longer, and for more breath, to simply climb a flight of stairs. You must sit out times with your children and grandchildren, letting those memories slip away. You regret not keeping yourself in better shape. That weighs tons.
Our last example hits home for many of you after the holidays. Credit cards. They are super dangerous because they allow us, temporarily, to live beyond our means. “You mean I can get this thing even if I do not have the money yet?” is the thought many have. It can remove the pain of being disciplined and waiting until you earn enough for it. Those who like to skip the ounces required when it comes to paying your bills can find their credit card debt climbing. What starts to happen is the interest and late fees take up most of your payment with very little going to the actual amount owed. You look regretfully at the new pink Stanley mug, or whatever you bought. Suddenly, you find yourself pondering taking advantage of some of the bankruptcy lawyer commercials you see on television. As you can see in the picture above, that regret can feel like a ton of weight on your back.
Think of examples in your own life where you chose the weight of regret over the weight of discipline. You may feel like you are escaping in the moment, but it seldom leads to a good outcome. It reminds me of a quote by another amazing speaker, Les Brown. When people first hear this quote, they may not understand it, or dismiss it, but the examples above prove it to be quite valid.
There is so much going on in this picture that gives clues to living an amazing life. At first glance, it may not seem so. Let us take a dive in to discover the secrets that are in this picture. Starting with the obvious – the saying in the picture. “Use Sunday to reconnect with a place from your past.” What a great idea! My mother and I often discuss things that we did that seem like a different lifetime ago. We used to go to a great encampment they held at the local VA grounds. That no longer occurs. We talk about restaurants we used to frequent that have went out of business. Then, after a few more sips of coffee, we talk about places we just haven’t visited in a long time for various reasons.
Reconnecting with some of these places could bring back some really interesting memories. It also helps you stay grounded. Connecting your present with your past can help us be both nostalgic as well as present. Reflecting on memories of the past and noting how life has changed can be insightful. Looking around to see how the place has changed can have us living in the present. When we reflect on memories there is one thing I find interesting. At the time they were being created, we usually never know they will become memories. We are just enjoying the moment. This is a reason why it is helpful to take pictures, especially now that they can be stored digitally. I find it also helps to use as many of our senses as we can. Soak up every moment of our lives. We never know which ones will become our favorite memories.
The other item is what the saying is printed on. It is a day-by-day motivational calendar. I purchased it while visiting the mall to see my friend Nick, who manages the coffee shop there. Every day it supplies an inspirational thought for me. That is one source of positive inspiration added to my life and all I have to do is tear off that day. Considering how many negative influences come into our lives, without any effort on our part, it benefits us greatly to add as many positive ones that do the same. There are apps that send motivational messages to your phone. There are affirmations you can listen to on YouTube. There are so many influences that we can add. This leads us to the final thing we will mention in this picture.
The last thing you might not have noticed in the first picture, is the hand that is holding the calendar. That hand belongs to my lovely lady, Margie. Recently, I saw a meme about how picking the right woman makes a big difference. I would like to change ‘woman’ to ‘partner’ as this holds true across gender. Margie was kind enough to take this picture because mine had a big shadow in it. Much like adding as many positive influences in your life, the same can be said for positive people. I enjoy hanging out with my mother and going for coffee. Speaking of which, my friend Nick and I are long overdue for getting together. Even at my day job, where people can be ‘sunshine challenged’ I seek out those who do have a brighter outlook. I feel we support each other. How about your life? Adding, and spending time with, as many positive people as you can will fill your life with more joy than you can do on your own. As a bonus, the more time you spend around positive people, the less time you have for those ’emotional vampires’ that suck the life out of your soul.
In this one picture, there are 3 ideas I put into action that helps me to live an amazing life. It was a powerful reminder. How about you? Share a picture of things that bring joy into your life and help you live an amazing life. When we share, we all benefit!
End of the first week of the New Year! What a wild ride it has been. As we jump into our goals for the coming year, we are going to take a few moments to look back at how we did in 2023. Above is a map featuring all of the countries that we were viewed in within the past year. We appeared on 6 of the 7 continents and in 148 countries. That blows my mind. I still recall writing my first blog 12 years ago and wondering if anyone at all would read it. I was one person who was struggling to learn the lessons of living a rewarding and fulfilling life. Using my passion for helping others, I continued to write. We are now have over 2100 posts on this site and have been viewed by almost 200,000 people!
Being able to reach so many people in so many places is such a rewarding experience. There are so many negative news outlets, that we want to continue to serve as a beacon of hope, motivation and inspiration. 2023 was great, but we are looking to do even better in 2024. We are going to reach even more people and bring the light of hope and positivity to even more corners of the world. If you like what you read here, feel free to share this site with your friends and neighbors. Print out posts you like and hang them up in the office. Share links on your social media timeline. The more souls we can reach, the brighter we can make the world.
Secret2anamazinglife wishes to thank all of our contributors, followers and even our passing viewers. You make all of this possible and worth it. We look forward to finding new and exciting ways to serve you in the future. Do not forget to check out the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast wherever you stream your content. It is free and brings you the same great tools and strategies in audio form!
Here is a picture of the calendar that I have hanging at work. As you can see it adds a little splash of color to an otherwise dull space. There is much more to this story than meets the eye. The calendar in question was purchased for me by the love of my life. She bought it for me at a bird show at the Wisconsin State Fair. The profits went to support the animals in the show. They are presented by the Schlitz Audubon Nature Center. They have an array of products for sale, the profits going to support the animals that are found at their center.
Sure, a button would have been cool, maybe a t-shirt. Why did my lady choose a calendar? Besides the fact that I have no need for another t-shirt, no matter how cool, it is a gift that keeps on giving. Each month they feature a picture of an exciting bird of prey. In addition to some quick learning, I am reminded of the amazing show we were at, the fun we had and the fact that the lady in my life loves me enough to surprise me with this calendar.
With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, and the fact that you should always be thinking about great gifts that help keep the love and passion in your relationship, a calendar is a rather cool gift. They have fancy day by day ones, you can even have personal ones made! The price point is not that much, but it serves as a reminder all year long. Already have a calendar? A daily journal could be fun. Anything that can be used daily, or at least on a regular basis makes a great gift to remind someone you care. This year, I have a calendar of tropical locations that I got while shopping with my lady. We are going to take a trip to the Bahamas this year and it will serve as a great reminder of that and other fun we have had, and will have. How about you? Is there an item you have that reinforces positive thoughts and memories?
It is mid-week, time for a little uplifting thinking! How about how to have an amazing life, or at least starting with the rest of the week? You deserve it and it really isn’t that complicated. It is finding ways in which to turn all of the negative energy in our lives into something to be grateful for. That may sound like a daunting challenge, but it is really an opportunity! At the end of the day, it can be a fun game to play with ourselves. Even endeavoring to find the positive in the negative will have us feeling better and looking at life in an entirely different way.
How to do it? That is the question. How do you turn the negative in your life into something positive? There are many ways. I am going to share two of my favorite with you and I would love it if you would share some of yours with the readers of this amazing blog, including yours truly. The first way I turn the negative into the positive is by escaping the situation. This is not always possible physically. If you are stuck at your work and the boss is in a bad mood, you are stuck there. Maybe, like myself, you live where the sun rarely shines this time of year. I think it has been over a week since we had a day where the sun came out for more than just a little while.
If you are physically stuck in a bad, or negative, situation, how can you still escape. By using a strategy that I teach and remind everyone of constantly. That there is no law of physics or biology that states your mind and body have to occupy the same space and the same time. The body, so far as we know, is limited. It can only be where you find yourself. The mind, however, has no such limits. The picture above may sound humorous, but I have honestly used this method to save my sanity on more than one occasion. How powerful is this really? There have been stories of holocaust survivors using this method to make it through one of the worst situations man has ever found themselves in. If it can work in that situation, it can work for you and I. Try it for yourself. Recall a vacation you particularly enjoyed. Do so using as many senses as you can. The scent of the ocean and the tanning lotion. The feel of the warm sun on your skin. The sound of the waves lapping against the shore. The vision of beautiful turquoise water. The flavor of some delicious island food. Take yourself on a mini mental vacation. Haven’t been on a vacation in so long you can’t remember these things? Go buy a bottle of sun tan lotion, make some jerk chicken for dinner or take yourself to a tanning bed while listening to ocean waves. Whatever it takes to make it real for you.
Next is to use the power of gratitude. I know, I know. You have heard about gratitude over and over. Oprah talks about it. It is in the movie The Secret. Apparently, even the author Neale Donald Walsh is in on the subject. Do you know why all of these people are talking about gratitude and why you are hearing about it everywhere? Because it works. Your mind can only focus on one emotion at a time. If you are focusing on what you are grateful for, even for just a minute, your mind cannot be focused on whatever negative crap is going on in your life at that moment.
Another thing that gratitude allows us to do is to get our head out of our butt. Look, I get it, when things go wrong, it is so easy to get fixated on what is not working in our lives. Even if 99% of our life is amazing, we will focus on the 1% that is bringing us down. As we discussed a few posts earlier, according to the National Science Foundation, 80% of our daily thoughts are negative. Those stats are for the average person. We all know people who would fall below average in this regard. Where do you want to be when it comes to your thinking? By spending even five minutes of our day focused on what we have to be grateful for, we begin to create a habit. It is that habit that will allow us to become better than average thinkers. It will have us feeling joyous and abundant.
Use these two strategies to change the negative situations in your life and become happier and more fulfilled than 80% of the population. Using mini mental vacations and the power of gratitude, we can radically transform our life for the better. I would love to know any tools or strategies that you use to turn the negative into the positive in your life. Perhaps they will be featured in a future post.
Today we are celebrating! It is the first time in this site’s 11 year history that we have had a post every day for an entire year. It was a goal of mine to bring more inspiration and motivation to all who read this. As many of us look to create our own resolutions for the New Year, we should take a look at why and how we were successful in having a post daily for a year.
First, start where you are with what you have. Although we have been talking about having a post every day for a year, this is actually the 546 straight day we have had a post. When I decided that was my goal for the coming year, it was sometime in mid summer of last year. Why should I wait for the first of the year to start? Part of the reason I was successful was I had a strong enough ‘why’. In having a post daily, I knew the audience for this site would grow. We are now over 100,000 views in over 200 countries. I also knew I would reach and engage with more people the more content I would put out. The more people reached, the more people could get an assist in living an amazing life. The more people living amazing lives, the better our planet would be.
Were there days I struggled with posting? You bet. Being an author, speaker, DJ and full-time day job as well, time is crazy. Another one of my goals was to improve the quality and depth of my relationship with my lovely lady. That takes time and dedication. All of these things could have been legitimate reasons not to have a blog. Then, I needed to use negative motivation for my goals. What is negative motivation? I needed to consider what would happen if we did not have a post here. There may be someone who was in a dark emotional place that was looking forward to reading what we have to say here. What would happen if they came to discover there was nothing to read? Hearing all of the negativity that the world seems to bring to our attention daily, I knew that this site needed to be a balance to that. If people were not given another source for knowledge and inspiration, I was not doing my part to leave the world a better place than I found it. This is, after all, my life’s mission, or at least part of it.
In closing, this accomplishment leaves me feeling just one way…grateful. I consider it a blessing to be able to share with you everything I learn along my journey of life. I am thankful for all of the souls who join me on this journey. There is nothing but gratitude for the friends I have made and the input they have given. I look forward to hearing from more of you in the year to come. 2024 will bring you my fourth book, as well as many other surprises including new episodes of the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. In addition, we will continue to have great and valuable content here to share with you. We always welcome your feedback and look forward to living an amazing life with you in 2024.
John Wooden is one of my favorite persons that I have studied. His attention to detail and the importance he placed on character are some of the greatest lessons we can all learn. I am going to share two of them with you here, and then we are going to end by taking a hard look at the quote above.
One lesson I recall was his pregame approach. He told all of his players to check for wrinkles in their socks. His players, much like you might be doing right now, looked at him quizzically. What does worrying about a wrinkle in your sock have to do with winning basketball games? That seemingly minor inconvenience, left unattended to, would lead to irritation, and eventually a blister. This would leave the player unable to perform at their best.
In our own life, how many minor irritations do we let go until they are preventing us from performing at our best? Every morning, as I put on my socks and shoes, I am reminded of this simple lesson. To make sure even the smallest, seemingly unimportant, details are attended to. Paying attention to the small details before they become larger problems will allow our life to proceed in a far easier fashion. Can you imagine if you never changed the oil in your car until the engine started acting up? By then there would be far greater, and more expensive, problems to deal with. Think of this tomorrow as you put on your socks and shoes. As a bonus, this has saved me much pain when I have set out on hikes with my mother.
His other advice he gave his players was not to pay attention to the score board. This may not seem like something you would hear a coach say, but he had good reason. If the players saw that they were up by a lot of points, they may relax a little and get sloppy. If they saw they were down by a lot of points, they may give up and quit playing hard. Even if they saw the game was close, they may get nervous and make mistakes. Instead, coach Wooden told them to focus on playing the best they could each and every play. If they did that, when they looked up at the score at the end of the game, they would like what they saw. How about you? How much of your effort in life is influenced by the circumstance you find yourself in? If we all just focused on being the best version of ourselves that we could be each and every day, I think when we look at the scoreboard of our life, we would like what we see.
Lastly, we will talk about the quote we started this post with. “Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out.” This really is one of the great keys to life. There will be ups and downs. It is not our circumstances that decide if we will be successful, but our mindset. Therefore, you stand a better chance at success if you work on improving your mindset over your circumstances.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 