In the middle of enjoying the Wisconsin State Fair, this message appeared in my coffee cup. My mother, whom I was with, noted what a powerful reminder that was.
All too often we wait for later, tomorrow or next year to have a good morning, afternoon or evening. It is important to remember that one day it will be your last one. Crazy part is that you may not know that it will be the last.
That means right now is the best time to have a good morning, afternoon or evening. Make a life having as many good moments as you can! When the end does come, at least it will come with little to no regret.
Let me begin by saying this is not gender specific. It is also not just for intimate relationships. In our life, our relationships should be something that serves us. That is not to say that we should keep a “what’s on it for me?” Attitude. Still, why have someone in your life that brings nothing to the table? Worse, why have someone in your life that drains you or your energy?
Think about yourself and what you bring to the relationships in your life? Are you helpful? Are you a good listener? Do you encourage your friends? What do you bring to the relationships? If you can’t think of anything, you might want to work on that.
It can be helpful to look at the relationships you have in your life and both identify and appreciate what they add to your life. If you can’t think of anything, you might want ask why you are spending your time and energy in those relationships. Is it out of guilt? Maybe it might be time to let them go. At the very least spend more time with those who add to your life.
An amusing quote for sure, but one that has a powerful meaning. It is not really about the hoofed animal, but the people who are actually below even them. We are talking about those folks who spend their time gossiping, going behind people’s back, lying and just operating as disrespectful humans.
Just as a pig is home in the mud, these people are at home in despicable behavior. When we try match them in deplorable actions, not only are they more experienced, but we reduce our character by our attempt to emulate them.
When you see someone engage in petty or underhanded behavior, just say to yourself, “another pig in the mud.” Then, move on making sure you rise above their behavior.
*we apologize to any pigs that were offended by these comparisons*
It sure does sting when we are disrespected, doesn’t it? Unwarranted personal attacks can hurt for a long time. The first response can be to respond in kind, or even with greater ferocity. We can spend time and energy sharpening our wit to better prepare for the next unexpected insult.
In what is now my 51 years on the planet I have learned this is not only a waste of time, but it steals time from actions that could propel our life to the next level. A far better option is to work hard to create a life that is difficult to attack. It is better for our stress level as well as improving our life.
I understand it can sure feel good to ‘get back at’ someone who disrespects you. What did you get out of that? A momentary feeling of satisfaction? You also gave validation and satisfaction to the person who disrespected you. Yes, you may have said something clever, or made them look foolish. Meanwhile, your reaction gave them satisfaction and took valuable time and focus away from improving your own life.
Next time you are the recipient of disrespect, or an unwarranted attack, walk away. It is not only an option, it is the best option.
Just a quick reminder, if you find yourself stressed and overwhelmed, it might be time to take a walk in nature. Not only has nature been shown to provide many physical and psychological benefits. These include, but are not limited to increased oxygen, increased cardiovascular activity and am increase in overall well-being.
There is something else that we hopefully do. That is slow down. Walking through nature is not just to see how fast it far you can go. It is not just about counting steps. It is about counting moments and discoveries.
Some of the things are mentioned in the photo above. If you have a smart phone, which most of us do, you can use Google to identify plants, trees, birds and insects. You will increase your knowledge while reducing your stress. What could be better?
In today’s crazy world it can be very difficult to not hear from a politician! We have some politicians that seem to be more focused on being on television than doing the job they were elected to do. Alas, it is the world we live in.
The point is that listening to these folks can leave you quite dispirited. We must, at the very least, balance this with some entertaining and inspiring listening. I’m not exactly a poet, although I have written a few poems, but having a few to listen to can pay some good dividends.
News, and politicians, have a chicken little the sky is falling outlook on life. To read and listen to people who ponder the beauty of nature and life itself can be a welcome, if not needed, break. I would encourage everyone to write some poems themselves. You don’t have to show them to anyone or try to get them published. The mere fact of writing them can bring some inner peace.
What are your some of your favorite fun things to listen to? Do you have recreational entertainment? For mental health and well-being it is vital!
The future. It can be a scary prospect. It can be a difficult project you have coming up. Maybe you have a presentation to give at work you are nervous about? There are difficult conversations we must have. To the basic Monday morning dread some of us feel.
There are 2 ways of looking at this dread, in my opinion. The first is that the future will come whether we want it to our not. No amount of dread or feeling nervous will change that. In fact, the more we get worked up about it, the more we are extending the pain of the event. It will still come, and may very well be difficult. Why add to that by sacrificing the time leading up to it?
The second, and perhaps more productive, way of looking at this is to use it as motivation. If you are nervous to give a talk at work, use that energy to be as prepared as possible. Monday morning dread? Use that feeling to find ways to bring as much joy as your can to your morning. That could involve buying a special coffee to enjoy on the way to work to five minutes of gratitude focus first thing in the morning.
As Marcus Aurelius said above, we will meet the future with the same weapons of reason we have today. If that thought is not reassuring, then work to improve your weapons of reason. Otherwise, do your best to relax and enjoy and be grateful for the present.
This reminds me of another saying that you can’t reach your destination unless you are brave enough to lose sight of the shore. Either way, the point is the same. When we are striving to create a better life for ourselves, and thus become a better version of ourselves, there are often things about our current life and self that we must give up.
People can get a little funny about this. Giving up an aspect of your life, or yourself, can make you feel like there is something wrong with the current version. Perhaps it is that wording that is too harsh. What we must be honest with is how dedicated to that new life we are. If we are looking to become healthy but are unwilling to quit having ice cream at 10pm every night, how dedicated to our health are we? We want to be more productive, but we can’t give up binge watching television for 3 hours? How much do we really want to be productive?
It can get even trickier when we think about who we share life with. Are you working on leaving alcohol behind, but can’t imagine not hanging out with your childhood friend who parties every night and is hung over every morning? How dedicated to being sober are you? Trying to work on getting fit but still hanging out with people who tell you it’s OK to skip the gym. How dedicated to your fitness are you?
Here is the important thing to consider. There is nothing inherently wrong with ice cream right before bed, going out drinking every night or skipping the gym. It boils down to what kind of life you want to live. What do you want it to look like? You might have to sacrifice some pleasures and some people. It doesn’t mean they are wrong. It just means they don’t fit into the life you are trying to create.
Wow! This is a good one. How many of us fall into this trap? At one time or another, probably every single one of us. It gives birth to all sorts of cliches such as ” The grass is always greener on the other side.” We continually postpone our happiness. Thinking it will find us over the next horizon. The hard truth is quite the opposite. The grass is really greener where you water it. The next horizon may contain new joys, but it will also contain new challenges. That is why ‘Destination Addiction’ is so dangerous. It can be facilitated by advertising convincing us that we need the next great thing. Social Media, where we compare our challenges to other’s highlights further pushes us in the wrong direction. Thinking our life does not compare to the life of those around us.
How do we overcome Destination Addiction? By changing the question we ask ourselves daily. We spend as much as 90% of our time on the journey and only 10% at the destination. If you had the choice, which would you rather work on making happier? What is the question we should be asking ourselves to make this switch? “What can I do to find, or create happiness right now?” In every situation there is the possibility to find some sort of happiness or the opportunity to create happiness. While it is true that certain circumstances are far easier to do this in, the truth is that our intention and mindset can make every situation a possibility for joy. Even if it may be difficult to find joy for ourselves, we can have the opportunity to create for others. Guess what that would do? Seeing that you have brought joy to another makes you feel….happy! Therefore, even in the struggle, even in the challenge, there exists the possibility of joy.
Have you ever thought of life in this way? Have you ever asked yourself the question we stated above, “What can I do to find, or create happiness right now?” Personally, I can confess that I have not done it enough. That should make us happy. It means we are leaving a lot of happiness unexperienced! There is so much more joy we could discover, and more important, experience, in our life! How exciting is that thought. Try asking yourself this question at least once a day. Whether you do it when things are going well, or if you try it when things are a little tough, you will add more joy to your life. That should be reason enough to do it!
Last post we spoke about how a simple change of mind can radically transform your life. Todays, post is an example of that. Here is a thought that sheds a new light in a way to look at an old idea. Friendship. We can look at friendship as the blessing it is. We can look at our friends and family as a sort of network, and that is true. Have you ever considered that people in your life are a connection to an entire different world? It is true! Let us shift this and think of ourselves for a second. Think of an average day in your life. What time you wake up. Where do you wake up? Who, if anyone, do you wake up with? Do you go to a job or take care of a household? Do you travel or work from home? Then there are all of the personal questions. Do you start your day with water, coffee or tea? What are your morning rituals? Do you even have any? Who are the people you deal with every morning?
Think of your closest friends. Their day no doubt, starts different from yours. Chances are they do not live in the same house as you. They might not even work at the same job. How about someone in a different area of the country? They might wake up to different weather or at a different time. Now if we expand that out to a different country, what is life like for that person? They, more than likely, eat a different breakfast. Their commute looks different. Customs and routines are different. It is like an entirely different world. This brings with it several good points to consider.
Everyone we come in contact with, both friends and strangers, live an entirely different world than us. Even if they live in the same city. They have grown up differently. They have had different experiences. I think we can all agree on that. Which should give us a little more compassion and understanding when it comes to those we share our world with. In addition, this should be exciting. When you interact with someone, you are getting a glimpse into an entirely different world! It is like traveling to a different universe without leaving earth. Their experiences, the people the do and the thoughts they think are unique to them. We should not only seek to understand that difference, but relish in the opportunity to experience it! Have you ever thought of friendship in this way?
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 