Tag: mindset

HOW TO TURN ON THE LIGHT IN A WORLD OF DARKNESS

Last post we touched on how important it is to go from cursing the darkness, to being part of the light. This is one of the quickest ways in which we will bring about a global change that will make the world better for us all. After yesterday’s post, there were some questions in regard to the best ways to be a light in a world of darkness. There were a few that were mentioned, but today we are going to touch on a few more so that your week ahead will be filled with more light and less darkness.

We will start with what I believe is the biggest source of light you can own – an attitude of gratitude. Before we get started on why this is so, I must thank Eduardo from Italy who reminded me of the power of this light. Think of turning on a light in a dark room. The darkness is gone. Both light and darkness cannot exist in the same space at the same time. This is true in the physical realm, but what about the emotional and spiritual? Also the same. When we are a light emotionally and spiritually, at least for the moment we are being so, there can be no darkness. The best way to do this is to be grateful. When we are focused on what we have to be grateful for, really focused, we cannot be focused on what we are fearful of, angry about or whatever negative emotion threatens to derail us.

Let me assure you it can be very difficult to be grateful when the world is dark. This takes practice and the more you do it, the easier it will become. Why go through all of the effort? If you eventually are able to feel grateful, even when your world seems darkest, you will have unlocked the key to an amazing life. There is nothing more worth the effort. That is not to say it is easy to accomplish. Looking at the quote above, it gives us an idea of how to be grateful for the struggles. Let struggles teach you patience, and failure remind you that there is still room to grow. Again, this will not be easy but if you keep at it, the reward will be an amazing life.

There we have it. How to be the light. A few more suggestions I really like in the quote above. Be your own sunrise. I even like how that sounds. Speak words that heal. How powerful is that? Especially in a world filled with gossip and doom speaking! Act with purpose and think with kindness are two ways to fast track your life to be amazing. I look forward to all of you becoming more of a light with me. Let us all work a little harder to bring the light and curse the darkness a little less.

IT STARTED TODAY!

Oh to be young and invincible again. When I look back at my life and all of the crazy things I have done, I sure do regret a few. What many of you may not know, is the fact that I wrote an autobiography. In recalling a lot of the partying, physical stunts and sleep deprivation, I am beginning to understand some of the problems I have today.

Depending on what age you are when you read this, you are either nodding your head in agreement or thinking it can’t happen to you. Our life can be equated to one of those giant cruise ships that sail in the Caribbean. One day I’m hoping to be on one. They way in which one of those ships and our life is alike is how they change course. You can’t turn one of those ships on a dime. No, it takes time and a good deal of planning.

Our life is like that ship. We can change direction, but to turn it all around takes some time. It works in both the positive and the negative. We saw examples of the negative above. The same is true in the positive. You want a good body? It can start today, but it takes time. We can change the direction of our life today with the decisions we are making. Where will the decisions you are making take you in ten or fifteen years?

THE CORRECT WAY TO APPROACH RISK

Risk is not always a bad thing. It gives or life that spark. Keeps things interesting. It should be done responsibly. Risking your house on the outcome of a sporting contest you have no control over would not be a good risk to take. Done correctly, risk gives us a lot more than we think.

Far too many of us live in fear of risk. We shy away from any chance of failure. We live what we consider a ‘safe’ life. We never ask that person we really like out. We never apply for that job that we would love. We are alive, but is it a life worth living?

The secret to getting over that fear is in the quote above. “You either win or learn.” You ask that person out and they decline. You can ask them politely why. Maybe there is something you could improve on? Maybe they are shallow and you are better off learning that right away? Apply for the job. If you do not get it, you can learn what you need to set yourself up for success next time.

Learn and move along! That’s how you win at life!

CREATE YOUR EXCELLENCE

We have spoken at length about the importance of both consistency and self-discipline. What difference do they really make? Even Aristotle knew that answer almost 2000 years ago. You do not become excellent because of what you do or what you accomplish. That is not to say worthy ideals are not worth pursuing. That is the definition of success. By pursuing these worthy ideals, it is who we become that matters.

Take getting healthy. You do not become healthy by killing one workout, or even several. Healthy is making a point to eat more natural food and less processed. Healthy is making sure to live an active life. This is done through repeated actions. Otherwise known as habits.

Think of habits you have everyday. Are they leading you closer to success or taking you further away? What are some habits you could use that would set you up for success? These do not have to be grand gestures. Even the smallest habits, done over time, create big change.

One thing I’ve noticed is once you get these small habits created and part of your life, you have momentum to start new and greater ones. Unfortunately, the same is true of bad habits. If we have a habit of eating terribly, missing the gym would not be that big of a deal. If we have a habit of finding things to be grateful for, we will always make sure to appreciate those around us. Check your habits and make sure they are serving you.

REALIZE YOUR POWER!

Last post we spoke of what to do when feeling overwhelmed by the seemingly hopeless oppression of the masses by a few wealthy politicians. The answer was to remember you, as a small axe, can still fall the big tree of corruption. I failed to mention that this does not only go for politics. No, any large challenge in life that you face can be approached with the same mentality. One of the greatest challenges to adopting this mindset is the constant focus on the world outside of us. How can we change the hearts and minds of our leaders to care about the people without money lining their pockets? How can we only elect people who have the skills to lead us to a world of kindness and compassion?

The short, and somewhat uninspiring answer, is that we cannot. We do not have control over others, nor outside events. When we spend all of our energy focused on changing the current of the river, we get swept away in its current. That is not to say that we should shrug our shoulders and wait for life to take care of itself. What we should do is to focus on where our power really lies – in our own mind. Wish your spouse was more romantic? You can spend hours, days and years telling them that. Unless that partner is willing to change, it will not happen. It would be best to take matters into our own hand and use the power of our own mind. This could involve seeing the different ways in which our partner expresses romance that we may not see. It could be working on creating an atmosphere where being more romantic is both desired and rewarded.

We have power over our minds, not outside events. When we focus our energy on this, we realize that we can use the power of our minds to affect the outside events around us. We also come to the realization, if we haven’t already, that trying to control others and the world around us leads to frustration and resentment. Even if we manage to obtain the control in the short-term, it is fleeting and impossible to hold onto. Our real strength is in our ability to change our perception and meaning towards life. To change our approach. To understand our role in the situations that frustrate us, and if they are beyond repair, to have the moral strength to leave those situations. Use your power and focus your energy on where it will best serve you and the process of change.

CAN YOU SPARE A MINUTE? NOT REALLY.

Last post we discussed the ever approaching and uncertainty of death. Not a really chipper subject, but one that should give us a sense of urgency to enjoy life now. That is what I would like to discuss with you today. How many of us put off enjoyment? The ever present “I will be happy when ___” way of thinking. What if we never make it to when? Again, not a very cheery thought, but one that deserves consideration. We may never get a shot at this merry-go-round of life.

Here is a great example – vacation! When we are on vacation, like my lovely lady and I were in the picture above, we are sure to make the most of it. “We might never get back here again. Let us enjoy it.” We say to each other. The truth is that the same might be said of any moment of your life. Our favorite restaurant that has been there forever may close unexpectedly tomorrow. The beautiful park we enjoy walking through may be turned into condos any day now. Our friends may move away and our loved ones may pass away. All of these moments are possible and at some point will happen.

This is all beginning to sound a little doom and gloomy. The question all of this begs us to ask ourselves is, “How are you spending this minute?” Tony Robbins has a great line, “What is wrong is always available. So it what’s right.” What are you focused on? Are you focused on how much of a hurry you are in and how inconvenient the long line at the grocery store is? You could be focused on how grateful you are that you do not have to hunt for your food or farm for it. Not only would that take a great deal longer, but success is not guaranteed. Either path is certainly justified and understandable. The fact remains one of them leads to a more enjoyable life. We should work to enjoy as many moments in life as we can. We might as well. We will never get them back again.

We all know people who are angry most of the time. Why? Do they know how good they have it? Yes, I am sure their lives could be better. Yes, we all have legitimate challenges and reasons to be disenfranchised. Still, we all have reasons to be grateful and full of joy and love. All we have to do is look around us and see those that are less fortunate and could use our help. Oh wait, we are getting into tomorrow’s post again,

IT IS LATER THAN YOU THINK 🤔

This post comes out on a Monday. Back at work for most of us. We are busy working to keep the lights on and the bills paid. Before we know it, the week is over and we are exhausted. Socrates, and by the way of this post myself, are here to tell you not to forget the things that truly matter. I cannot convey my dismay at how many of us spend our lives majoring in minor things. I am not judging. I am guilty of this far too often myself.

This life we are given is a great gift. If we are not enjoying it, we are wasting it. You might be saying, “Neil, you do not know my situation. I cannot enjoy life right now.” You are right. I do not know your situation. There is one thing that I am sure of when if comes to your life, even if we have never met. That is that your life, and the lives of those you share it with are growing shorter by second. Each and every one of us will leave this beautiful planet and we have no idea when. It seems as we get older, or maybe face a serious medical condition, our urgency to live a life that matters increases. That is why you see so many people contemplating their own lives at a funeral of a loved one. It serves as a reminder that life is shorter than we think.

This thought of ever approaching, and uncertain, death is not to scare you. Quite the contrary. It is to motivate you. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest. Even situations that are not ideal. Your job may not be the one of your dreams. Personally, I am still waiting to host a talk show. Even in that job you can practice gratitude and find the joy. It can be your coworkers. It can be the interactions you have with the public or the opportunity to make their day a little brighter.

We pass by so much beauty and so many miracles on a daily basis it is beyond comprehension. Take walking by a beautiful tree. Have you ever stopped to think about how many years it took that tree to get to the stage it is now? What did it all need and have to go through? How many storms did it weather? Years of growth, fighting wind, rain and perhaps scorching sun. Still, here you are able to stand in its shade. Too obscure of a reference for you? Let us look at another one.

Working with the public is a challenge. I have done it my whole life. When you come to a coffee shop and the lady behind the counter greets you with a smile, do you know how hard that might be? Any smile we are given, whether by stranger or friend, is a tremendous gift! Think of what a smile means. Despite the challenges that person is facing, and we all are facing some challenge, they wanted to share a gesture of joy and acceptance with us. They could have thought of the crazy state of the world and scowled. They could have been overcome with grief and looked at us with tears in their eyes. Which are both gifts as well. Someone being brave enough to share their inner-most thoughts and emotions. Are you beginning to see how we are missing so much in life?

Aside from stopping and staring pensively at a tree, which might not be a bad idea, how can we begin to appreciate all of these miracles and beauty we are missing? There is a clue in the question. Appreciation. When we stop to be grateful for things, it not only adds joy to our lives, it helps us be a more appreciative and loving person. Who wouldn’t want to be around someone like that? Think of the plants in the islands in the middle of the street. Most of us pay them little, if any, attention as we drive by. While it is smart to keep your eyes on the road, a glance in their direction would serve us well. Can you imagine how dull and lifeless the street would look without them? This is just one example.

Another suggestion is to try and be present as much as you can. In the middle of a walk, stop and take a deep breath and soak up the moment. Who you are with. What is around you. You can combine this with finding something to be grateful for. I was behind a lady at the supermarket who was obviously in a hurry and was not keen to wait in the line we were in. That is understandable. How lucky were we that we were both able to afford groceries and that there were some there to purchase? In many places of the world this is not the case. We did not have to hunt or farm. We were not living in an impoverished country. Yes, long lines at the grocery store are not fun. Do you know what is worse? Wasting time being upset about being there. I am getting ahead of myself. We will talk more about that tomorrow.

THE GOOD THING ABOUT TOMORROW, IT IS NOT YESTERDAY.

How many of us kick ourselves over mistakes we have made years ago? If you are human, most likely you do. We all have things we wish we would have said or done differently. Sadly, no amount of self-torture will allow us to go back in time and correct our mistakes.

Here is what we can do to at least modify those actions and words that were less than our best. We can use that regret to fuel our improvement in the present. I am not a fan of hanging on to regret. A little bit of pain upon reflection can keep us from making those same mistakes.

Today, take any pain and regret you have about the past and use it to turn your mistakes into lessons! It is the only way you can help fix the past as well as set the future up for success!

COME TOGETHER…🎵🎵

This is a picture I took at the Wisconsin State Fair. As you can see, there are lots of people gathered together in the name of fun. It would make sense that statistically they would differ in race, politics and religion. Probably in a host of other categories as well.

Later in the night, Margie and I hosted our weekly DJ show as well. Same story, only on a slightly smaller scale. Many different people there, but all gathered to have fun.

My question is this – If it works for a DJ show and for the great Wisconsin State Fair, why can’t it work for life in general? Can you imagine if we all were focused on how to gather and have as much fun in life as we could? People sharing their secrets for having fun on the morning commute or going to the dentist? Life would be amazing. Just a thought of what is possible.

A HAPPY DEATH? 🫨

This is a rather simple phrase from one of the smarter, more accomplished men of our day. Leo did a lot in his day. Inventions, painting, and some science. He had a well-spent life. This seems like one of those phrases that are a little too big for most of us to figure out. How does one lead a well- spent life?

As usual, we make it a little more complicated than need be. What kind of life we are living is not something we stop and contemplate on a daily basis. What we can do is ask ourselves, at the end of each day, “Did I spend this day well?” Were we productive? Did we take actions towards our goals?

A well-spent day is about far more than productivity. We should ask ourselves, “Did I inspire and encourage anyone today?” How did we treat the people we came in contact with? Did we practice self-care? A productive day can look different to everyone.

If we put enough of these days together, it will have us feeling peaceful when the end of our life is drawing near. Ask yourself, did you spend your day well today?