YOU DECIDE WHAT IT MEANS!!!

I’m VERY excited to be writing this post. This is a picture that my lady posted on Facebook. I fell in love with it right away, much like I did with her. Here is the powerful thing about this, it points out a very important thing that many of us do not utilize. We can control what things in life mean to us. What it is often perceived as a negative experience can often be the greatest of all lessons and motivate us further. If you look at words they have a powerful impact on how we feel. When someone says you ‘FAIL’ it makes us feel bad, but if you ask any successful person they suggest you should embrace failure. Why? because when you fail, you are getting one step closer to succeeding. In fact, if we never fail, we would never learn anything. We would never grow. If we change our definition to “first attempt at learning” we can better understand how it can help us grow.

‘END’ is another word that can make us feel down. A job comes to an end, we can feel like we did something wrong. Only if we give up. If we change our definition to “effort never dies” it encourages us to keep going. So next time we are told we have come to an end, let us not accept that. If that door closes, let us go on looking for another which may very well open up into a room full of new opportunities that we may never have encountered.

How about when we have been pushing and doing our best and someone tells us ‘NO’? We must not accept that as a final word. In my own life I have faced many ‘NOs’. Each one has had me feel let down. From now on, thanks to my beautiful Margie, I will understand that is just means “Next opportunity”. In my professional career I have been pushed to new jobs, new people and new gifts and talents I would not have discovered had I not lost the position that I had previously. In my personal life, a lot of ‘FAIL’ ‘END’ and ‘NO’ has changed my life for the better more than anything else.

If you like this as much as I did, thank Margie and feel free to like/comment/share with others!

WHY YOU SHOULD BE KIND AND NOT AN ASS

This post was inspired while having lunch with my lady, my friend Gail and her son. Gail was mentioning how people routinely come up to her and mention certain things she has done that have really touched them. If you were to ever meet Gail you would find this easy to believe as she has a very good energy and spirit about her. The funny thing is the same thing happens to my lovely Margie and myself quite often. Just last night a gentleman thanked Margie for making him get out and be social. People often remember me as the “Friendly guy from the post office”. Sometimes things end up a little more intense. Considering the kind of work I am involved in there are occasions when tools I have passed on, or just different ways to look at the world have inspired people and helped them take the actions necessary to turn their lives around.

It always reminds me of the importance of being kind. You never know when what you say, be it a kind word or an inspiring idea that can have a great impact on their lives. You never know if someone may be going through a challenge we know nothing about. What you say may inspire them to follow their dreams and become a blessing to so many others. Imagine what the world would be like if Einstein never pursued his passion? Being Jewish in the World War two era he could have easily just become bitter and walked away. You have heard me mention Walt Disney who was rejected by over 300 bankers before being approved for a loan for Disneyland. In addition to strong personal power I believe these people must have had a person or two who inspired them along the way. Einstein himself said that he used to say “thank you” over 100 times a day.

So what about the second half of the title of this post? The reason why you should watch what you say especially in times of great emotional upset is this, you never know who is listening. You could shatter someone’s dream and they may give up and never go on to bring their gifts to the world. We may lost the next Walt Disney, or the next great doctor, scientist or author. Your seemingly foolish comment may give someone a complex for the rest of their lives, or worse push them over the edge in a battle they have been fighting.

So the point is this, use kind words and encouragement often, and do your best to swallow your criticism and angry words. If you wish to encourage more people feel free to like/share and comment on this post. Together we can turn the world into a better place for all.

CHANGE…IT’S A GOOD THING!

I hear a lot of people complaining about change. Last post we talked about the importance of learning. Today we are going to discuss why you need to keep changing and why that is a good thing. When I hear people who say they dislike change or who are even afraid of change I feel compelled to ask them why. The answers fall into a category something like “I just wish everything would stay like it was” or they tend to focus on things in the world that have changed for the worse.

I will tackle the first argument this way. Ok, if things never changed I would love for you to ride a horse to work today. When you get there try using a computer that would only store so much data before you had to remove one of those floppy disks and start over. I even remember having to wait for nights and weekends because they were cheaper to use on my cell phone. Medical treatments have certainly become more advanced. I don’t think any of us would want to check into a hospital where they are using medical practices from the dark ages.

So what about the second point that change can often bring about negative results? That is always true to some extent. We mentioned the medical field before. While new knowledge there has saved countless lives I think the new ‘pill pushing’ paradigm is the wrong way to go. Still I wouldn’t sacrifice the knowledge gained. This was brought home by a conversation I had with a coworker at my job at the post office. “I don’t use the internet. All they have on there is porn and other garbage. I have lived this long without it, I don’t need it now”. On one had he is right. There is a lot of garbage on the internet and a fair amount of adult entertainment, or at least that is what I heard. Still this man is an avid bicyclist and could learn a great deal about that. There are also search engines for any questions you may have. YouTube videos that show you everything from preparing your dish, to secrets to improving your life. The latter of which can be found on my channel under “Neil Panosian”. My point here is this, if we look at the negative side of change it becomes something to fear at the most extreme or at the very least something unpleasant at best. If we focus on everything we gain from change it becomes something far more encouraging.

If you know someone who fears change feel free to share this with them. In fact, feel free to share this post with anyone and everyone. If there is any issue you would like addressed in this blog feel free to list your question in the comments and it could be featured in an upcoming post.

WHY I DO WHAT I DO

One question I get a lot is why do you keep studying. Why do you keep reading books on improving yourself and motivation when that is what you write/teach? In fact, I had a person that was very close to me ask me, “Why do you read books on relating to people when you do that so well? Why do you listen to how to start a conversation, when you are the best at talking to people?”. The answer is in the question itself. They actually had it backwards. I can talk and relate to people because I do study material. I am only good at what I do because I never stop learning. So if I have found things that work, why am I still looking for other things that work? Very good question. Here is the answer. Upgrade. What do I mean by upgrade? There are always secrets and tools I do not know about. I am continually facing new struggles and there are people who may have faced them before that could offer a unique insight.

So here is what I suggest to you. Whatever your passion is, whatever you are working on, read about it. Study like you are new. Get around people in the same field. I routinely chat with a fellow who also has a blog on positivity as well as a fellow who just started a motivational Facebook page. Treezy and Nick have taught me a lot and have both given me fresh perspectives. Even talking with people who are not necessarily in your field can pay off. My lovely lady Margie designs cakes, I do not. My cakes resemble a young child’s art project. Still, I can ask my lady what she does to stay motivated and keep to her high standards. I can then use that to apply to my work in the self-improvement/motivation field. Winners are winners no matter what their chosen field and all of them use certain practices whether they know it or not.

One more reason I keep learning and working. I want to reach as many people as possible. The more ways I learn to do so and the more I put myself out there the more people I will reach. I know myself I can hear the same message several times and it finally clicks if it is said in just the right way, or maybe it is just the right time for me to hear it. So I shall continue to keep working and learning. I welcome you to do the same. You never know what you will discover.

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to like/share and tell others about it. If there is any questions you would like addressed, please feel free to leave them in the comments.

MY LEAST FAVORITE WORD

Anyone who has spent a good deal of time with me, especially my lovely and patient lady, knows there is one word I despise. That word, as you may have guessed from the picture above is ‘try’. Why do I dislike the word ‘try’ so much? Because it weakens us. What do I mean by this? Often people discount the power of the words they use. I have seen this in many situations. Say these two statements out loud. Don’t worry if you are in public, let people wonder. OK, if you are to uncomfortable you can even say them to yourself, but it does drive the point home better out loud. First say “I will try to be healthier in the coming year”. How does that feel? Now, say “I am determined to be healthy this year no matter what it takes”. Feel different? The first one seems to offer a one time shot at something. You will “try” it. If it doesn’t work, well you gave it a shot. The second focuses more on the goal than on the actual act of accomplishing it. If I were to try and become a successful author I may do one or two things and then give up and resign my life to working at the Postal Service. If I am determined to become a best selling author no matter what, than I will keep doing things until I find one that works and reach my goal.

So this coming weekend look for ‘weak’ words in your vocabulary. Limit your use of words such as try, wish, want, and hope. Become determined. Do not give yourself a way out. Remember the sage advice of the Jedi master in the picture above “Do, or do not. There is no try”

Oh, and on a side note. If you would like to assist me in my quest to become a bestselling author and wish to give yourself a great gift, feel free to check out my book A Happy Life for Busy People Aslo feel free to share this post with all of your friends and Facebook followers. Empower them as well.

TRUE GREATNESS

Let me ask you a question, who do you like to be around? More to the point, what qualities do the people you like to be around the most have? I can tell you what people seem to be a challenge for me. See if you share the same opinions. Being in the customer service industry I have seen my fair share of different people. We all have certain things that tend to bother us more than others. Personally, I am not a fan of negative people. This can fit a few different people. I do not like people I say suffer from the “eyeore syndrome” So named after the loveable character in Winnie the Pooh. (Of which it may be noted I am a big fan) You know the souls who can always see the thunderstorm in any rainbow. It seems if you are full of joy they can find a way to damper it. If you are having a bad day they can bring you down even farther. Funny thing is a lot of these people have no desire to change. Some even wear their depression as a badge of honor. Also are judgmental people. Always finding something negative to say about everyone around them. I look at these people as adult bullies. Most of them are usually making up for a lack of confidence in themselves.

Enough about the people we would like to avoid. How about the people we love to hang around with? I have a friend who is rather financially well off. When we go out he insists on paying for everything. Seems like a sweet deal right? Seldom do I take him up on his offer. Why? You might ask. This is why. He makes a point to let me know how well off he is and when I offer to pay makes sure to remind me that I am not as well off. I have another friend who is not as well off. She always has a joke, loves to take silly pictures and tells me how amazing the people she knows are. When I leave the first person I don’t feel very good about myself even though they have treated me to a night out. Leaving the second person I feel not only good about myself, but about life in general.

What this has taught me is one of the most attractive qualities is helping people see the beauty in themselves and the world around them. It has since become my mission statement. I encourage all of you to be the kind of person who makes others feel positive about the world we all share.

If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share with your friends and family. Also please feel free to share it to your social media page.

LIKE NIKE, JUST DO IT!

We are all guilty of this. We have a great idea of something we can do or say that would make someone’s day. Perhaps sending them a check, or a gift. Then, life happens. We get caught up in the daily grind and by the time we remember it the moment has passed. Sometimes we haven’t forgotten at all. Sometimes we are waiting for the right resources to be able to give the ‘perfect gift of kindness’. Then the opportunity or sometimes even the person passes away. What I encourage everyone to do is pick 5 people. Just 5 random people in your life. Think of one small random act of kindness you can do for them RIGHT NOW. Can you send a card thanking them for being in your life? Maybe write them a short letter, or even an email if you don’t want to take the time. Just something to inspire a smile. Maybe you can post a little something to their social media page? Bring them a coffee at work? Invite them out for coffee? There are a million possibilities. All I ask is you put something into action. Feel free to leave your ideas, and even how it turned out in the comments below.

If this inspired you or you would like to see the ideas spread, feel free to share this with your friends, relatives and anyone who follows your social media. Working together we can make the world a more positive place!

KEEP YOUR KEYS IN YOUR POCKET

Yesterday we spoke about why it is important not to replay and live in negative moments. Certainly it is beneficial to experience and learn from them, but not to spend a prolonged period of time there. There is another thing we are doing when we do that we might not be aware of. We are allowing that person to hurt us again. When someone does something that hurts us the pain we feel is partly their responsibility. I say ‘partly’ because if you have read previous blogs here I discuss ways to change what things mean to us and how they make us feel. Still, it is hard not to be hurt, when someone says something rude, hurtful or just plain mean to us. The fault becomes all our own, however, if we chose to replay and dwell on what they did or said. First of all, in no way does this effect them. The only person we are hurting is ourselves. In effect we are allowing this person to hurt us twice with the same action. The crazy part is we are doing the hurting to ourselves!

If you find yourself saying, “Yes, but they were the ones who did/said it in the first place”. That is true, but why let it continue to upset us? We are essentially as the quote above says ‘putting the key to our happiness in their pocket’. Nobody cares more for your happiness than you. As Les Brown, which some of you may recall is one of my favorite speakers says. “80% of people don’t care and 20% are happy it is happening to you”. That may sound a bit dark, but it is generally true. We must decide to be in control of our own happiness. It is not only good for our health, but can be our greatest gift to others. Let’s be honest, we are more productive at work and at home when we are in a good mood. We are likely to be more compassionate with others when we are in a good mood. We are also more likely to spread that joy when we are in a good mood. So do yourself a favor, no matter what someone, or the world in general does to you. Keep the key to your happiness in your own pocket.

MAKE SURE YOU ARE LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT THING

This is something that may be difficult for a lot of people. In fact, when you are under emotional distress it can be difficult for just about anyone, including an author/blog writer/postal worker. When you are having a disagreement the natural urge is to discover who is the one to blame for the upset. I have been guilty of this myself, if you don’t believe me I am sure my beautiful lady would back me up. Here is what I learned, Most of the time the fault is usually shared. Here is something else I have learned, finding out whose fault it is does little or nothing to fix the issue at hand.

So what should you be looking for? A solution, or as the picture above says, a remedy. Ask yourself this question, what would be the ultimate outcome? Let us say your spouse said something that really embarassed you in public. First of all, chances are they did not intend to do so, and if they did you may wish to question your choice of spouse. Now if you argue about whether it was their fault for saying it, or yours for not letting you know that won’t solve you feeling foolish. The ultimate goal here is to have your spouse know what bothers you and to hopefully have the situation not happen in the future.

This takes practice and trust me if you can try it first on an issue that is not so heated it works a lot better. Ask yourself what you would like to happen, what is your goal going forward? Then, ask yourself how you can best recruit your partners help in that matter. Here is a clue, saying “It is your fault” does not often lead to a feeling of cooperation. Rather let them know that you understand they did not mean to upset you and that you both would like to avoid that in the future. Then ask for their help in coming up with a solution. Having them involved creates a feeling of working together. Whether it is an intimate relationship, a friendship or even a coworker you are in this together and things work a lot better if you work together.
This works even better if you can begin by admitting your share of the fault to begin with. That takes the pressure off of everyone. It may also take the fire out of the arguement to some extent. It works even better if you are to follow it up with something like “I would like to work together to make sure we don’t have this problem in the future. What can I do on my end to help that?” To often we like to tell people what they should do, but in reality whether or not that will happen is up to them. Showing that you are willing to work on things on your side demonstrates good faith and a desire to clear up conflict.

So in the 2016 let us work to find remedies, not fault.

I NEED YOUR HELP!!!

Would you like to play a part in changing the world? What if I told you that to do so would take no more than a click of the mouse? In doing so you will slowly begin to transform our world into one with more joy and peace?

With very little effort you could affect people’s lives across your town and across the world? With actions that take you only a few seconds, you could help save the life of someone suffering from depression or who may feel lost and alone.

Don’t think you can afford to help? This world-changing, life-saving action will not cost you anything other than a few seconds of your time. With those few seconds you can help heal relationships that are faltering, help inspire young people who may have lost their way, or remind our elders how important they are.

What can do all this? The very site you are reading right now! On it you will find some of the best information from leaders in every field, along with inspirational quotes, suggested reads and life-changing strategies. Still, we need help spreading the word about this website and all of its free positive information.

What can to do? Simply ‘share’ this post on your Facebook page, LinkedIn page, twitter feed, or feel free to create your own post about http://www.secret2anamazinglife.com if you would like i will even be happy to send to business cards you can pass out to people you think would enjoy or benefit from the inspirational and motivational information shared here. From Azerbaijan and Brazil to New Zealand and Zimbabwe i will gladly send them anywhere! Please feel free to comment here or send me a personal message. Do not wait, you never know when someone needs you to make their day, or even save their life. Alone we cannot do much, but together we can change the world.

From the bottom of my heart, and on behalf of all the lives we will touch, thank you

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