Proof that inspiration can strike you anywhere happened to me today. While I was getting my haircut today the wonderful lady doing the service and I began chatting about all things positive. She brought back a quote I haven’t heard since I was young. “It’s like my mom always said” she exclaimed. “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” As she started rinse the shampoo from my head I started thinking. Which is pretty much all you can do while somebody else is washing your hair. That is a piece of wisdom a good many of us have heard from childhood. As I may have mentioned in previous posts, my good friend Jamie taught me to look at things backwards. Not saying anything mean certainly helps the people you are talking to, or about. What does it do for us? I began to meditate on this for a while. Not to intensely as by this time there were sharp instruments near my head. It reminded me of another quote from the Buddha that I particularly enjoy. I am paraphrasing here as I do have the exact quote in front of me. “Anger is like holding a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who gets burned” Think about how you feel when you say something about that driver that cut you off. The lazy co-worker whose work you end up doing on top of your own. The in-laws that won’t mind their own business. In all of these cases we have a right to be upset, but while verbally lashing out may help us relieve some anger in the short-term, does it really help us feel better? After leaving the break room while either joining in or sometimes just overhearing a long session of gossip how do you feel? Now let us flip this around. We know what will make us feel terrible, but what about the first part of the motherly quote, saying something nice. Think about how you feel when you tell somebody how nice their spouse is. How does it make you feel when somebody gives you the same compliment. I have a good friend Cari, who is very kind and inspirational to a lot of mutual friends we have. At any given time when the friends are together without her, inevitably her name comes up. The funny thing is 100% of the time we trade stories telling how amazing she is and what joy she has brought to our lives. We all end up leaving feeling a little bit happier inside knowing what an amazing friend we have. Although the compliments are all for Cari and she may never even know they were said (unless of course she reads this post) all of us who said them also receive the gift of joy as well. It is the opposite of the quote from the Buddha. Instead of getting ‘burned by the coal of anger’ we are being ‘blessed with the gift of love and compliments’. So next time you are tempted to join in on some gossip, or curse at the bad driver in front of you. Do what Kelly told me, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” It will be better for those on the receiving end, but it will also be better for you level of happiness as well. Who knows, it may even make the world a little better of a place.
Category: inspiring and motivation quotes
Here you will find inspiring and motivational quotes of all kinds followed by ideas as to how you may apply them in your life. Great when you need a quick pick me up or a new idea to inspire and motivate you.
THAT FISH IS A GENIUS!!
“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid”
-Albert Einstein
Building on yesterday’s post, this statement takes it one step further. Mr. Einstein, one of the greatest minds understood that there is genius inside every one of us. Yes, even those people in the ‘People of Wal-Mart’ photos. Sometimes it is very hard for us to see, but there is beauty and worth in each and every one of us. So next time you see someone you may be tempted to think less of, remember they just might be out of their element. I have the honor of helping out at a meal program for the homeless once a month, and let me tell you I have learned more about how to survive on very little, how to see the bright side of even the darkest of situations and even the importance of Love, friendship and things we may forget are what is really valuable. It is sad to see how many people are dismissed just because the treasure in them is either not on display or has not been discovered. Even Albert Einstein was kicked out of school because they believed he was not smart enough and had problems tying his shoes. Yet he went on to compose the theory of relativity. So let us all appreciate the genius in ourselves and each other.
FIRST SECRET TO HAPPINESS…
“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness”
-Robert Morely
When facing any challenge from a new job to trying to live a more amazing life, why are we so quick to be hard on ourselves? I remember training some people at the Post Office who picked things up at a slower pace than the rest of us and I was always very encouraging. When I was first learning, however, I recall being upset with myself for every little mistake. Now if it was somebody else and they did it, I would remind them that we all make mistakes and the important thing is to keep trying. Keep going towards your goal. So why are we so hard on ourselves? It has been said we are always hardest on those closest to us, and if that statement holds true I suppose it would make sense that we are our own worst critics. I have a friend who is working on getting back in shape and she recently missed going to the gym for three whole days. I heard her say things like “It’s no use, I’ll never get back in shape” and “why can’t I just stick with things?”. We share a mutual friend who is also trying to live a healthier lifestyle and I asked her what she would say if she heard her saying the same thing. After a long pause she looked at me and yelled “It’s not the same!” I kind of chuckled, which really did not help the situation any, but then I told her “give yourself a break” and told her to encourage herself and give herself a little pep talk. “Give myself a pep talk? That sounds silly” was her reply. I asked her if it was any crazier then yelling at yourself. She thought for a minute and then started laughing. “I guess not, maybe you’re right” she said. Ok, so after that we did have an ice cream cone, but she assured herself that was ok, and she was recommitted to her fitness routine.
Now I am not saying it is not constructive to hold yourself responsible for failing to do something you have set out to do. Just don’t continue to beat yourself up over it. This week let us treat ourselves like we would treat our best friends. After all, we are stuck with ourselves for the rest of our lives, we might as well be friends. You wouldn’t continue to stay with someone who yelled and criticized you every day, would you? No, you would tell them to get lost, you don’t deserve to be treated that way. So next time your inner critic comes calling, tell them the same thing. Say to yourself “I deserve to be treated better than this” because you are amazing and you do! Enjoy your week my friends!
MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!
“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear”
-Rosa Parks
Now some of you has let me know you enjoy my blog, but say “that stuff doesn’t work in real life” Here is a prime example of a women who overcame not just her own challenges, but the challenges facing an entire nation. Still think you can’t turn your life into one that is positive and rewarding both for yourself and those around you? Having an end goal in mind and staying focused on that goal makes everything if not easier, at least bearable. You make a mistake, fall down on the path to your goal? Get up, dust yourself off at get back at it! It has been said airplanes on their way from point A to point B are off course a full 90% of the time. Constantly making minor adjustments to correct changes in wind, currents, air pressure and a million other factors I know nothing about. How, if they are off course so often do they arrive, usually close to on time, at their destination? The easy answer is ‘radar’. True, but what good is technology if you do not have a clear destination? So decide on your destination. Develop that resolute purpose so demonstrated by Rosa Parks. If one woman could challenge the thinking of a majority of an entire nation, we can certainly overcome our challenges! like the airplane with its radar, we have an internal radar. It is called our feelings and current state of mind. Have you ever noticed when you are engaged in an activity designed to bring you closer to your goal that even if it appears not to be going so well at the moment it seems easier to stay focused? So make a clear decision on a goal, write it down, find or draw a picture of it to hang in the bathroom mirror. Whatever you have to do to keep it in your mind. Then stay focused and marvel at the great things you will accomplish. Whenever doubt starts to creep in, just think of that single woman sitting on a bus and all that she conquered.
ON THE POSITIVE SIDE
“The fact that there is always a positive side to life is the one thing that gives me a lot of Happiness. This world is not perfect. There are problems. But things like happiness and unhappiness are relative. Realizing this gives you hope.”
The Dalai Lama
I really like this quote. How many times in life have we looked back at an incident that at the time seemed terrible only to realize how much good had come of it? The secret here is to try to shorten the time it takes to see the good in a given situation. Here is something to carry around with you and try when we encounter one of life’s unavoidable challenges. Ask yourself, “What is good about this situation” Spend no more than five minutes pondering that. Then move on and do your best to forget about what is troubling you. Your subconscious mind will still be focused on that very question. Then later that day sit down and ask yourself the same question. Although it may not seem you have given it any more effort you mind will have been working behind the scenes to come up with several ideas. It may even help to sit down with pen and paper and work on creating a list. The more you do this, the more you work on training your brain to be positive and this same formula works for solving problems. This week, let us all try to see and focus on the positive side to everything!
REVEALING RICHES…
“The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but reveal to them their own”
-Benjamin Disraeli
This is another thing that I often do that not only helps put me in a positive frame of mine, but it rather quite fun as well. In addition to those two wonderful attributes, there are two other amazing things that happen when you start doing this. First, you brighten someone’s day by telling them what you find to be amazing about them. Second, by forming the habit of telling people what beauty you see inside them you also form the habit of looking for the best in everyone you meet. Often it is said that I “say nice things about everybody” and that to some extent is true. You see when I am in someone’s company, be it meeting an old friend for coffee or a customer at the bar or post office, I am immediately drawn to that which I like about them. Now please don’t get me wrong, I am not a fan of flattery. To me false praise is more insulting than saying nothing at all. Genuine compliments on a particular trait you find beautiful be it physical, personality or something entirely different not only brings a smile to the persons face but creates a bond between people that may otherwise never be realized. Just think of how nice it feels when people point out the best of your traits and you will know how loved and valuable you will make others feel when you do the same. So try it today. Try it on the barista who looks overwhelmed at the coffee shop in the morning, or cashier at the grocery store. Maybe a spouse or good friend as we often assume these people know what high regard we hold them in, and noticing what makes them special will only serve to deepen your friendship. No matter who, try it today and bring joy to both of your worlds.
SUNRISE
“There was never a night or a problem that coud defeat sunrise or hope”
-Bern Williams
This quote is almost a ‘secret weapon’ of sorts. What does it take to keep going when the going gets tough? What should we do when all seems hopeless and lost? The answer can be found in this quote. When we keep our minds, hearts and spirits full of hope, when we focus on the end result (see the post on vision boards) the obstacles and challenges that will inevitably show themselves lose a great deal of their power. So let us keep our goals and dreams in front of us so that we may keep our drive and motivation.
DRIVE
“If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams”
-Les Brown
This may be one quick way to motivate yourself into action. If we admit our current situation is of our doing we often leave ourselves with two questions. If we are dissatisfied the question is “what are we going to do about it”. If we are satisfied the question becomes “Now what?”. Either way you can see accountability is a great beginning to a better life.
60 SECONDS
“For every minute you are angry you lose 60 seconds of happiness”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Let’s face it, we all get angry. Even a bartender/postal worker who writes a blog on living a positive rewarding life. In all seriousness, this quote may sound redundant or even a little bit humorous, but it is oh so true. While pondering it before I typed this I think it is a simple way to remind us of how little we stand to gain by being angry. First, how great does it feel to be angry? I can safely say there has never a moment where I said to myself “boy I wish I felt more angry today”. Our blood pressure rises, we can get headaches and generally anger leaves us feeling just plain exhausted. Rather a waste of our time, don’t you think? Now when you couple that with the thought of what we could be feeling and doing if we focused on joy anger seems almost like a ‘double whammy’ when it comes to our lives. Now we are going to get angry and sometimes we have every right. Knowing how much we lose by staying in anger, however, may help us spend less time there. When you focus on joy and forgiveness it benefits you just as much as, if not more as the other party concerned. So next time you and I find ourselves getting angry, let us ask “Is this really worth all I am losing by being angry?”. I am going to guess most of the time the answer will be no. So let us focus on joy, love and forgiveness and not let anger steal anymore of our lives. Not even 60 seconds.
SMILE
“Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love”
Mother Teresa
Mother Teresa has always been a great source of inspiration to me personally. Her service to people most of the world would rather ignore is to me the definition of compassion. Like other aspects of her life, this quote gives us a great way to bring light and love to the world. A lot of people ask me “what’s the big deal with a smile?” I always tell them, if you feel a smile is no big deal then why not share one with everyone? Let’s be honest, can’t you remember at least one time when you received a smile at a most unexpected time? Maybe from a stranger? I must confess to being guilty of not sharing my smile as often as I should, but when I do, it never fails to amaze what doors it opens. I have made more new friends with a smile, then with most anything else I can imagine.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 